Other Thanksgiving options

Interesting T-Day fact: According to The NPD Group, a leading market research company, only 30 percent of households will actually prepare a turkey on Thanksgiving Day, but 82 percent of consumers eat it. NPD finds that typically two households are the guest of another household on Turkey Day, which amounts to an average of nine people at each Thanksgiving table.

Here are a few other alternatives to cooking the whole thing yourself:

SuperTarget, I kid you not, offers ready-made holiday meals. For only $69.99, a family of 10 can enjoy a Thanksgiving or Christmas feast including a fully-cooked turkey or ham, appetizers, side dishes (stuffing, mashed pot. gravy, green bean casserole, cranberries), dessert and coffee without the hassle or mess of cooking. (They also offers a prime rib Christmas dinner for six for $89.99.). Order by Nov. 23. 

At the opposite end of the spectrum, Six Tables Tampa is offering Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. Reservations are required and dinner is at 3 p.m. with a single seating for $95 per person plus tax and gratuity. Call (813) 207-0527. The menu includes choices like:

• Potato and Shrimp croquette with Pomegranate syrup
• Gulf Bouillabaisse
• Sweet Potato bisque
• Grilled Endive, Lardons, Black Walnuts, braised Cranberries and Turkey confit with Lavender Honey vinaigrette
• Whole grain Mustard braised Rabbit with soft Polenta
• Grilled Buffalo Strip with Parsley Butter & Chevre Potato au gratin
• Merlot-poached Halibut with Cinnamon couscous
• ½ Duckling with roasted Pears and Chestnut/Butternut dressing
• Butter-roasted Lobster medallions with Blood Orange velouté and Fingerling Potatoes
• Apple Caramel Meringue torte
• Chocolate Charlotte with Raspberry Anglaise

Also, all six Columbia Restaurants in Florida will be open for Thanksgiving and accepting reservations. The traditional Thanksgiving feast including roast Vermont turkey, served with Columbia stuffing, fresh vegetables, whipped potatoes, candied yams, cranberry sauce and giblet gravy. Dinner also includes a choice of soup or salad and a dessert choice of pumpkin pie, Key lime pie, pumpkin flan or flan. The cost is $18.95 for adults and $4.95 for children under 10 and service begins at 11 a.m.

On the other hand, if you really want to cook this year but keep the costs down, here is chef Georges Mokbel's 5-course menu that feeds 10 people for less than $10 per person. Looks pretty good, with a butternut squash and blue cheese salad and a chocolatey bread pudding.

Turkey Day two-parter

Consumers Union, publisher of Consumer Reports, and Eat Well Guide have launched an "eat local and organic" challenge for consumers this Thanksgiving. The mandate: Buy and prepare one local or organic dish for Thanksgiving, with the help of super-mega-star chefs like Dan Barber, Mario Batali and Alice Waters. Eat Well Guide is a free online directory for finding local, sustainable food so you can see here to begin your search for ingredients (sadly, pretty skimpy thus far in this area), then go here for Dan Barber's recipe for Sautéed Brussels Sprouts with Lemon and Pistachio, Alice Waters' recipe for Chard Gratin, or Mario Batali's Marinated Butternut Squash.

Food in my future

I’ve been hearing good things about a few casual newcomers to the area. Wow Wings (4195 34th St S., St. Petersburg, 727/864-0999) is serving good, well, you know. And over at 4900 Park Blvd. N in Pinellas Park (727/548-0700), Quick Q BBQ is serving purportedly great wood-smoked ribs, beans, collards and pulled pork. Just ten days old, Greek-Town Grille (1230 Cleveland St., Clearwater, 727/230-6850) is turning out classic Greek dishes in a gargantuan dining room with outdoor patio. The menu has lots of my faves (kataifi, pastitsio, those intensely lemony Greek potatoes), so I aim to try it as soon as they’re really up and running.

Of course, some of these I’ve heard about through readers, and I gotta say some of you people have been sending me on wild goose chases. I heard good things about the breakfasts at Hungry Bear Cafe (229 62nd Ave N., St. Petersburg, 727/329-6124), that they had a great range of Benedict options and so forth. After a morning’s investigation, they’re not so hot, the poached eggs rock hard and the hollandaise suspiciously like a mix. And then I’d heard from a number of readers about ABC Chinese Seafood Restaurant (2705 54th Ave. N., St. Petersburg, 727/522-1888), which I visited last week. Eh, I say. Whole steamed fish in ginger scallion sauce, salt and pepper tofu, etc.—the dishes were pleasant enough, but I’ve had better versions at Yummy House or China Yuan in Tampa, and it was extremely difficult to flag down servers. It's one of those Hong Kong-style seafood houses with the wall of fish tanks ("Look, Mommy, that one's cute. Let's eat him!"), but they seem to steer non-Asian customers to the safe stuff.

Wipe outs versus negative reviews

Readers write. They say, "You GOTTA try this restaurant." If I start hearing about the same place more than a couple times, or if the heads-up comes from a reader who has given me reasonable tips in the past, I check the restaurant out. Alas, sometimes the recommendation must come from the restaurateur's mom, dad or fairygodmother. Sure, they could use the business a review might bring, often because they're floundering.

The restaurant business is a meritocracy. By that I mean that, by and large, good restaurants survive and bad restaurants bite the dust. In general, if I have a miserable experience at a restaurant, I don't review it. Here are some examples: In the past year, I visited Novo in St. Petersburg, Chateau Soho in Tampa and maybe a dozen other restaurants with the intention of reviewing them. There were problems.

My decision was to give them more time to work things out...or not. In about half the cases, the restaurants have subsequently closed. It's natural selection, pure and simple.

Then why ever write a negative review? In the words of sage Thumper, If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all, right? Not exactly. My primary obligation is to readers, not restaurateurs. If someplace is high profile (new, splashy or whatever) and people are curious about it, it's my aim to essentially pre-screen it for readers. Most people have a finite amount of time and cash to spend navigating the wide field of untried restaurants, and I aim to point out where the landmines are buried.

That said, I try to be as specific as possible. Since I started at the Times, I've reviewed these restaurants fairly negatively: City Fish in Oldsmar; Cheap and Mangroves Grill in Tampa; Banbu, Grille 121, DeSanto (the first time) and Hammerhead's in St. Petersburg; Pan Y Vino in Dunedin; and Fishtail Willy's in Clearwater. In each case, I had plenty of positive things to say, but the negatives made them difficult to recommend. I'm not exactly sure what's going on over at Hammerhead's right now, but in all the rest of the cases the restaurants are still open (some with tweaked concepts). A bad review didn't "kill" any of these restaurants, but hopefully focused criticism helped them work out some kinks.

Are you a Tampa Bay family trying to find affordable places to dine?

I'm working on a follow-up story about Bennigan's bankruptcy announcement on Tuesday and what this might mean for other chains or independent restaurants in this segment of the market.

I'd like to talk to a Tampa Bay family that has changed its dining-out habits because of financial concerns in the past eight months. Have you gone from dining regularly at your favorite casual chain, to frequenting "fast-casual" or fast food restaurants? Have you decided to eat at home more? Are you paying closer attention to special offers, coupons or other deals?

Shoot me an e-mail at lreiley@sptimes.com with your contact information so I can call you today.

You want lettuce on that? It'll cost you.

Everyone's feeling the squeeze. Restaurateurs are paying way more for food and more for labor. Customers are feeling the financial burn and demanding that restaurants hold the line on prices. Something's gotta give.

Some restaurant owners are slimming down portions sizes, others are bringing standard freebies (lemon in water, a bread basket) only upon request. Still others are charging for sandwich fixings--fine, it comes with turkey breast and mayo, but that's extra for the tomato, onion, pickles, etc.

Anyone know of restaurants that have instituted new policies like this?

Pecorino of the clays to the bag with cream to the hypocrite

That title is an actual menu item from Exhibit A. Amongst the lovely photos of duomos and statues with their noses knocked off, my father sent me this menu snap from a recent trip to Italy.

Did you ever read Everything Is Illuminated, wherein one of the main characters uses a very goofy Russian-English dictionary for his translations? Malapropisms and hilarity ensue. Menus are often like that. Here are another couple humdingers:

--Potato dumplings of potato to the I crush of Chicory and Pinoli

--Rabbit of farm to the aromas in handicraft preserve with potatoes roast

--Braised of wild boar to the Noble of Montepulciano

I don't know about you, but cream of hypocrite is pretty enticing.

Menus with fancy font can mean fancy prices

I read this Reuters story this morning with great fascination. Seems true to me.

Restaurants using fancy typeface on their menus can often get away with fancy prices too with people perceiving complicated font to mean complex food that needs greater skills to prepare, according to a U.S. study.

Researchers at the University of Michigan found people believed if that if the font was harder to read then the task was harder to do.

Looked at the other way, researchers said this meant that clear font was likely to lead to the perception that the task was simple and people were more able to complete it.

For example if you wanted a culinary-challenged spouse to make dinner, giving him or her a recipe in simple font may do the trick as they would see the task as simple and achievable.

"People think, 'If it's hard to read, it's hard to do'," researcher Hyunjin Song told Reuters.

"But what's interesting is that if people could recognize where those feelings of difficulty are coming from - the font type - it might not have such an impact on their judgment."

She said these findings could influence everything from the way companies print their instruction manuals to what typeface restaurants use on their menus.

Hyunjin and her colleague Norbert Schwarz said the study was based on asking 27 adults to read a recipe written in two different fonts and estimate the time needed to prepare the dish and their willingness to do so.

They found that participants who read the recipe in the easy-to-read font predicted a shorter preparation time and were more willing to try the recipe than those who read it in more complicated font.

To read the rest, go here.

Some nibbles

Keeping it Cheap

Another savvy local restaurateur is giving the public a bargain-minded offering. Walt’s Seasonal Cuisine is doing a summer three-course dinner deal for $21.95, which includes a glass of wine. Go here to check it out; Walt’s is located at 1140 Main St., Dunedin.

In Westchase Mr. Biggs Speakeasy Grille has opened at 12950 Racetrack Road. No, not a Sex and the City theme, more a gangster motif (in place of traditional Hollywood framed photos they have Hollywood police blotter photos). Food runs to traditional steaks, fish and pasta. But get this: Tuesdays it's $3.99 pasta night. For more information, call (813) 855-1462 or visit here.

Two weeks ago, Brophy’s Bistro (1353 Snell Isle Blvd. NE, (727) 824-0700) appended the subhead: Your Neighborhood Sports Restaurant. Owner Mary Brophy-Lee bought Cafe Vienna, a formal continental joint, almost two years ago and retooled the space. It slowly dawned on her that the neighborhood wasn't looking for fancy--now she's trafficking in Philly cheesesteaks, Cubans and casual eats. With bowling, pinball, pool tables and a brand new huge TV, it's a family sports restaurant--not sports bar, Brophy is quick to point out. Kids eat for $2.99 on Monday and Tuesday night.

Also two weeks ago, Tanglin's (to-go, eat-in or delivery) opened at 6931 4th St. N., St. Petersburg. For now it's dinner-only (we sadly pressed our noses up against the window yesterday at lunchtime), what they're calling a Bombaly and curry house. Bombaly, evidently, are Indian-style pizzas--naan/pita with chicken tandoori, tikha and lots of other interesting toppers, all for $6-$9. Thai crab curry soup ($4), Asian salad ($5), and curry and rice ($6-$10) make it a menu that is hard to categorize but sounds delicious. Call (727) 526-7300 for more information.

Contests

Sharpen your pencils. In honor of its 30^th anniversary, Sweet Tomatoes is holding an essay contest to find and reward its most remarkable patrons. Write up your wild and crazy, sentimental or inspiring stories that tie in with the restaurant, and you may win free meals and the honor of being named one of 30 Remarkable Guests. Go here for details. (If you like contests, check out Klondike’s “What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?” national video contest, which features amateur efforts as well as those Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone of The Lonely Island and “Saturday Night Live” fame. The winner walks away with $100,000.)

Product News

Bull’s-Eye Barbecue Sauce has reformulated its sauces by removing its high fructose corn syrup, implicated in Americans' growing girth, from the list of ingredients. Now that's taking the bull by the horns. At the other end of the spectrum, starting July 1, two great forces (for good or evil, you be the judge) are in league together: Dairy Queen and Girl Scouts Thin Mints, together they form the diabolical Blizzard of the Month. 

If you were sitting down to chat with Paula Deen

What would you ask her?

I've got a hot date with the Deen of Cuisine tomorrow afternoon before her gig at the Florida Aquarium. No holds barred, what depths should I plumb? I know I've got to ask her about a "cream cheese goblin" I once saw her make. It's subsequently become something of a catchphrase in my house, heavy on the accent.

(Smedley, thanks for the cream cheese goblin shot. It's a beaut.)

When the economy hands you lemons...

Local restaurants are adjusting to tough times in different ways. La Fogata in Gulfport is changing its gourmet table to a high-end salad bar, adding new appetizer options and reducing the price of the full churrasco dinner from $45 to $29 to give patrons a little more flexibility. "These recent changes were in response to consumer demand," says director of operations Farshad Bagheri. "Consumers needed us to listen. We are listening."

At Restaurant BT in Tampa, a reinvented menu was launched two weeks ago with an all-new, moderately priced bar and lounge menu. Kaffir lime leaf-scented prawn skewers ($12) and galangal-rich chicken skewers ($8.50), baby squid salad ($9), chilled cucumber salad ($4) and other nibbles provide a range of less expensive dining options. And sleek vermicelli noodle bowls offer traditional Vietnamese one-dish meals for cost-conscious diners, $9-$16.

In time for Passover

While the chickens are taking a little pre-Passover jacuzzi in preparation for this recipe, here's another holiday tip. I got e-mail today from Barb Hecht of St. Petersburg who sells 100% organic/kosher dried herbs and spices at local farmers' markets. Her company, Kess Gourmet Foods, began at the end of 2007. For more information, visit here or call 727-623-3268.

Ezra's in Bradenton

Been doing an enormous amount of eating, some exciting finds, some disappointments. I won't yet say which is which, but in the past few days I've been to the new Table and Mesa Lounge on Central Ave. in St. Petersburg, the MFA Cafe at the Museum of Fine Arts, Belleair Grille and Wine Bar in Clearwater, T.C. Choy's in Tampa for dim sum, Grass Root Organic Restaurant in Tampa for vegan/raw food (alright, I've got to go ahead and say, it is fabulous), and Pane Y Vino in Dunedin.

While I'm writing up my findings, take a drive south to Bradenton for a visit to Ezra’s (5629 Manatee Avenue W., Bradenton, (941) 792-0990, lunch Mon.-Fri. and dinner Mon.-Sat.). See below for a little background on chef David Shiplett.

****

It was a heady era for the restaurant scene of San Francisco. Supercharged by a stunning economic boom, the late 1980s were a time of gastronomic excess, of culinary flights of fancy and the ascendance of the “celebrity chef.” David Shiplett was in the middle of it all. A graduate of the prestigious California Culinary Academy, he had had access to some of the greatest minds in food—Jeremiah Tower, Ken Hom, Bruce Aidells, and Masataka Kobayashi had all shared their kitchen secrets with the eager students in the tall white hats.

“I wasn’t expecting the biggest benefit of cooking school to be the access to big name chefs,” Shiplett remembers, “but there was so much to learn just sitting on the bus and talking to them. Without them, there is no way I would be the chef I am today.”

Well, Bradenton has some chefs to thank. Having grown up in Bradenton, Shiplett has returned to his roots, buttressed by all the knowledge imparted by those fabled chefs. His own passion predates cooking school (“I cooked growing up—as a teenager I was really hungry!”), but has culminated in his charming and critically acclaimed Ezra’s, opened almost four years ago on Manatee Avenue.

Brunch advice?

I'm not a breakfast person, really. Most mornings it's lonely a cup of coffee. It's several hours after arising that my stomach stirs. Thus, I'm not fully equipped for the task before me. In anticipation of Mother's Day, I want to run a brunch round-up on Thursday, May 1. I'd rather avoid the ones people already know about (Castaways, Oystercatchers, etc.) and focus on brunches a little more off the beaten path. What are people's favorites on either side of the bay?

Picky, picky

My discerning colleague Jay Cridlin was just having one of those Stick-It-To-The-Man, time-frittering e-mail exchanges with me about eating habits and peculiarities (it was that or do a little online shopping). For him: no sushi, no condiments that resemble mayonnaise. In summary, he says this:

"The crux of my argument stems from discussions I've had with my wife about my eating habits. She'll say I'm very picky when it comes to certain foods (pickles, mayonnaise, cranberries, canned tuna), but I maintain that I'm a perfectly normal eater, I just don't like certain foods and refuse to eat them. Does that make me a picky eater, or simply someone who knows what foods he likes and doesn't like? It's very much a philosophical debate. What IS pickiness?"

Indeed. I pride myself on the following: a willingness to put almost any food in my mouth, chew and swallow. No discreet napkin-filling. No balking. Still, there are foods I don't exactly like. The last time I was in Paris I made it my mission to try to cultivate an affection for head cheese. No dice. Goose webs and chicken feet may just wander around my plate at a Chinese restaurant.

So, what is pickiness, and is it heritable? Meaning genetically (as opposed to nurture-wise). Some science indicates yes. Some folks say it's both genetics and environment. Get this, though. This study indicates that inbred mice choose familiar foods far more often than unfamiliar foods. Ergo, inbred=picky. Just remember that, Jay.

Table from Nature.com

More healthful chains

Health Magazine devoted a lot of this month's issue to evaluating restaurant chains, both fast food and casual dining, in terms of their healthy options. Go here to see the list of winners among the 43 sit-down chains and 53 fast-service chains they evaluated.

An advisory panel judged the restaurants on healthy food preparation; the availability of organic or hormone-free foods; whole grains on the menu; limited or no trans-fats in all dishes; low-sodium options; healthy beverages; and portion control; as well as how easily you, the customer, can access nutritional information.

They also wrote up what they considered the most healthful independent restaurants. No surprises on their list. Chez Panisse and Blue Hill, duh. But I am eager to try Bacchanalia in Atlanta. Maybe I can convince the powers that be that an Atlanta road trip is in order?

Defensive eating

The April issue of Consumer Reports on Health provides survival strategies for consuming fast food. CR notes that a single fast food meal can easily pack more calories, fat, and sodium than most people should get in a day. So how do you avoid a heart attack to go? CR provides ordering strategies for all the major food categories, such as:

• Avoid combination meals, which tend to have larger sizes and more calories.
• Select meats that are grilled or roasted, not fried.
• Don’t be hesitant to ask about ingredients or make special requests.
• Share appetizers with your dining partners, or turn a side dish into an entrée.
• Stick with a chain’s “original” or “traditional” burgers or sandwiches; they are usually smaller and less caloric.

Go here for CR’s fast food survival guide with tips for every food category plus a listing of good food choices at fast food chains.

Restaurants we miss the most?

A friend of mine just got back from a trip to Baltimore. After chatting about what restaurants remained and what had gone the way of the dodo (Haussner's, Women's Industrial Exchange, Louie's the Bookstore Cafe, M Gettier, etc.), it got me thinking.

I'm starting to feel more comfortable in my knowledge of Tampa Bay area restaurants. What I don't know is which are the defunct places that we mourn, those places that helped shape the dining landscape in this area. Give me your picks for places most missed.

Chateau Soho

Can you tell in the first minute of sitting in a restaurant whether it will be good or not? I would posit yes, much of the time. There’s a social psychologist named Nalini Ambady who does work in “thin slices,” or judgments made about people based on very little data. She says we’re pretty good at that as a species. (But who knows, maybe fish are better.)

Case in point, this weekend: Went to Chateau Soho on South Howard in Tampa. It was formerly a Pepto Dismal pink and called Chateau France and I can’t remember what it was before that.

From the moment I sat down, I braced for impact. Vermillion walls and weird little curtains at glass-brick windows, plus corny stained-glass windows waaaay high on the walls. The restaurant is stuck with an albatross of a space, but a designer could nibble at the margins a bit.

What last year was straight-ahead old school French has become Creole French, at least in name.

Perfunctory doesn’t begin to describe the veggie that appears on every plate: those tiny bagged carrots steamed soft with onion in an aggressively sweet sauce. I think that carrots as a side vegetable generally is risky behavior, especially if it’s those whittled little guys. Too much like school lunch. Anyway, meats come under way too much sauce, dessert soufflés are undercooked, the bread’s compound butter is a yucky combination of flavors (strawberry and pesto, for real).

I think the kitchen needs to think deep thoughts. Chateau Soho is right across the street from MacDinton’s, the most thronged hangout in all of Tampa. How to get some of those folks to walk across the street for dinner? Give them something fun, moderately priced, accessible and not too big a commitment. But also something that fills a void (OK, there’s gelato, Chinese, tapas, and Mexican/Southwest nearby—that leaves a lot of options).

So, what do I do with a meal like that? Basically, I don't review it for the paper. People already seem NOT to be going here, and unless something changes significantly, they probably won't. (Recently I thought I'd review Novo on Fourth in St. Petersburg. Another too-bad-to-review-and-no-one-seems-to-be-eating-here-anyway situation. Found out on Friday that it's closed.)

What I've been eating

I've been doing a lot of dining recently, some successful and likely to result in reviews, some just interesting. In no particular order: I had dinner at Aphrodite Mediterranean (15463 N. Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa, 813/269-3200), a new, mostly Greek joint in a Northdale strip mall. Painted black as night throughout, with gloomy Bauhaus-ish music, it reads like more nightclub than restaurant. Also, it's huge. Pastitsio is heavy on the nutmeg but wholesome, flaming cheese middle of the pack--the best dish we tried was the pork souvlaki, a generous portion with nice grilled veggies and juicy pork. In all, not sure how they're going to fill all the seats necessary to make it a hit. Continuing in the Greek vein, I headed up to Tarpon Springs to try a newcomer, Athena Taverna (459 Athens St., Tarpon Springs, 727/942-2556), which replaced Dodecanese Taverna. It's a real family joint, with essentially all family members milling around and whooping it up like it's their living room. Food didn't wow me (the usual suspects, with avgolemono, lamb chops and some seriously large grilled octopus tentacles that look like what you'd hack off at the port hole in 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea).

I had a lovely meal at the new Toasted Pheasant (14445 N. Dale Mabry, Tampa, 813/265-6700), at the site of the defunct Chateau France (don't get me started about that place). The Pheasant has a lot of charm, reasonable prices and very nice crepes (a species that has recently been cropping up all over the Tampa Bay area). The single best thing is the uber-mustardy vinaigrette used on the salads. Almost wasabi-like in intensity and very unusual.

And I just ate at the deliciously funky Water Witch (5519 Shore Blvd. S, Gulfport, 727/346-2444) a comfy beachside spot opened by the folks at Pia's in Gulfport. Open for all three meals, it looks like breakfast has the most scintillating options, globetrotting through traditional morning foods of Western Europe and beyond. Nearby and also on my radar, Elements (3121 Beach Blvd., Gulfport, 727/343-9894) has just opened for lunch. Bound to be good.

"Are you still enjoying that?"

I went to lunch today with a couple visiting from California. We checked out a new downtown St. Petersburg restaurant for a review I’m working on. At some point they began asking me about reviewing—eating out so much, don’t I worry about my weight or health?

I guess my answer to that is, not much. I’ve never been a member of the clean-plate club. I eat until I’m satiated and I try not to sport eat. I also am a glacially slow eater, which may effectively serve to allow my stomach time to communicate satiety to my brain. But that’s just a theory.

I do think a diet heavy in restaurant meals can make you, well, heavy. Things taste good in restaurants because they often have more fat, sugar and salt than you might be inclined to use at home.

I got back from lunch and a new book made it to my desk: the third edition of Eat Out, Eat Right. It's a pretty helpful little volume, especially as more of eat out with ridiculous frequency. It's got very sensible portion control strategies, easy directions on how to navigate a menu (cooking methods, red-flag words), and break-downs by cuisine or restaurant type. It's small enough to fit into a purse as a real-time reality check, but also makes a breezy read.

L'Eden, only less idyllic

I recently went to try out a little French bistro in downtown Tampa that had been highly praised by the Tampa Tribune. It was my intention to review it. Heck, anything that enriches the culinary playing field of downtown Tampa is worthy of attention.

The meal got me thinking that maybe this blog should be transformed into a forum of WHAT NOT TO DO when you open a restaurant.

The place is called L'Eden, at 500 Tampa St., at the corner of Madison. Phone is (813) 221-4795.

Here's what was wrong with it:

1. No greeting (no hostess stand, so you wander in and shuffle around the tiny space). No welcome, no explanation of the menu. The waiter brusquely shoved the menus in front of us and added a grim, "You know what you'd like to drink?"
2. Evidently, it is a "small plate" concept, not mentioned on the menu, not explained by the waiter. (We ordered like this, "I'd like the blah blah as my appetizer, the blah as my entree." Then, all the food arrived at once, no sequencing.)
3. There are just a handful of tables and the rest of the space is taken up with a huge service bar at which no one sits. All night they were turning away potential customers who could not fit at one of the 16 or so seats. Get rid of the service bar (put a more modest bus station over near the kitchen), and get another four two-tops in there. That bar is wasted space that brings in no revenue.
4. The menu descriptions do not match the food. If you ordered "Chicken Madras, India curry chicken," what would you expect? Probably not three tiny croissants containing chicken salad flavored gently with curry powder. Very ladies'-luncheon, very not-what-I-expected.
5. A lady wanders around in the role of hostess/maitre d', but ask her a question like, "What do you have for dessert?" and she reacts as if you've asked the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow.
6. Late in the meal the waiter realized he'd been curt, so he redoubled his efforts by touching us repeatedly on the arms and shoulders. While warmer, no thanks.

It was amateur hour at every turn--a shame because several items were quite nice. The dessert crepes (the simple butter/sugar one was best) and lamb chops (a bargain at $14) were delicious. I hope they can focus on the details because downtown sure could use another few places to eat dinner.

Who cares what I've eaten?

When I was a kid, my family was friends with another family in Oak Ridge, Tenn. My parents would go out with this couple for dinner and all four kids would get one babysitter. At the night's end, the other mom would come into the kids' room and, in a quiet, murmuring voice, she would proceed to recite to her children exactly what she had eaten that night.

I mean, the whole dang dinner, explicated endlessly. I would drift off to sleep listening to her saying things like, "green peas with those little onions, and soft, pillowy rolls with foil-wrapped butter...."

The takeaway, for me, was that listening to someone talk about what he or she has eaten is fundamentally boring. I grew up to be a food writer and I still thought this. Good food writing is not about listing what you ate. A restaurant review should be edifying, sure (should I go to this restaurant or should I save my money?), but it should also be entertaining. Fun to read. There should be painting a picture (the dishes, the ambiance, the service, etc.) as well as thoughtful synthesis, hilarity and hijinks, drawing of larger conclusions, jokes, verbal slights of hand.

I was saying all this at a staff meeting a couple weeks ago, when Eric Deggans basically told me I'm wrong. He told me about an entertainment blog that he likes. At the end of each entry, this woman lists what she has eaten for lunch. Just lists the stuff like this: pulled pork, beans, beets, corn.

I'm not willing to totally concede, but there is something perversely interesting about her daily chronicling of foodstuffs. A strange form of voyeurism.

Dinner and a show

I just emerged from a truly nightmarish 36 hours of travel. No, I wasn't coming from Calcutta. Only Northern California, with multiple hours spent idling on various tarmacs, sleeping on the airport floor, that kind of thing.

But then I got home to find the first copy of my new book at my front door. It looks like this. And you can buy it here.

Leafing through it with wonderment and joy, it dawned on me that Kissimmee has a raw deal. Kissimmee has a love/hate relationship with Orlando. Orlando is the big Kahuna, the main event, and Kissimmee seems fated to be the red-headed stepchild, an also-ran. Even the convention and visitor’s bureau tagline subtly reinforces this: “Make more dreams come true.” So, your main dream involves mouse ears, but if you’re not done dreaming, we’ve got some others we’d like you to test drive.

Well, there’s one arena in which Kissimmee dominates, leaving Orlando quivering and chagrined. It’s the phenomenon of the Dinner Adventure. This is not your father’s murder-mystery dinner theater. We’re talking pageantry, death-defying feats of agility and cunning, costumes, whooping-and-hollering, all witnessed while gnawing on regulation medieval turkey legs and such. Many of these shows draw 1,000 people at a time, two shows a night, every night of the year.

The granddaddy of them all is the Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament (mostly because there are too few places where you have a waitress in medieval garb saying, “Hi, I’m Heather and I’ll be your wench tonight” and in which you eat sans utensil, with only a napkin assist), but Arabian Nights Dinner Attraction is way up there, too. Orlando has Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede Dinner & Show and Pirate's Dinner Adventure, and SeaWorld has Makahiki Luau Polynesian Feast & Celebration and Disney has the Hoop-Dee-Doo Musical Revue, but Kissimmee's offerings really kick all their butts.

What makes these things good is that the tables set up in long rows around an arena and each diner gets a color marker (in the case of Medieval Times you wear a colored paper "crown" of crepe paper) that identifies them with a section of fellow diners and a particular knight—it encourages tribal behavior, bonding and robust catcalling. All things you want maximize while dining.

You can read about it in my book.

Eating alone aka declaration of independence

More feedback on dining alone:

I really appreciated your article about solo dining. I started dining alone in college – 'cause friends would rather save what spare cash we’d have for clubs or bars. While I also enjoyed those establishments with friends…I wanted to eat food that didn’t come from campus or a fast-food joint everyday. That is when I started going to sushi restaurants, Vietnamese spots, and oyster bars alone. Friends thought I was crazy, because they knew me as a chatterbox and a sorority brat. But, what I learned 10 years ago that many people might never get to learn, is having a true sense of confidence and enjoyment in being alone where most people don’t have the nerve. Like your article, I think dining alone can be very satisfying and entertaining. Thanks for writing about a topic that relates so well to me! I was beginning to think I was crazy. Last month, I left my new baby daughter with my husband and went out for a drink and appetizers while I read a book!--Jane

Laura, finally an article about this. I love dining alone. In fact, though happily married, I would fly to New York for three days of wonderful restaurants, theater, and concerts. I savored Danube with the Klimts surrounding me and endless courses (and waiters) with the chef's tasting menu. I'll never forget the pan-seared halibut in a puree of cauliflower and white truffle at Picholine or the dish of lobster done three ways at Cello on the Eastside. Sometimes I'll take a book or magaizine, but as you suggest, I love just people-watching as well as simply concentrating on the great food!--Tom in St. Pete Beach

I love eating alone and do it regularly. I've traveled all over the world alone too, so it was the natural thing to do. I was always treated with special attention. Even locally in Tampa Bay, I have my favorite restaurants I eat at often. I tip very well, get to know the owners and staff on a first name basis, and they are always happy to see me. I find the whole experience delightful. Thanks for a great article, but there is a positive spin on it to. Lots of folks like me out there.--Elisa Abolafia

Just a short note to thank you for your article on solo dining in today's St. Pete Times.  It was most interesting--I am often a solo diner when I travel--and it was the first time that I had read something on the topic with such a light-hearted combination of affirmation and practicality.--Ray Luck

Oh solo-mealo!

Started to get some good feedback on my dining alone piece in the paper today. Here's one I thought was very thoughtful, from reader Ann Hipson:

What a great article!  As a single woman of mature years, I decided long ago that if I wanted to do something, I would do it—even if no one wanted to go with me.  Why deprive myself?  This has included eating alone.

I find that eating alone is most comfortable keeping certain things in mind—

·         Begin eating alone at lunch.  It’s a great transition into the world of solitary dining.

·         There are some restaurants that are inherently uncongenial to the woman eating alone.  These include most chain restaurants on Friday and Saturday nights.  You’ll be out of there in 30 minutes with food splashes on your clothes from dishes being slung at you.

·         There are some restaurants that are congenial to the solitary diner.  These include mom and pop restaurants and high end independent restaurants. 

·         To indicate that you do not wish to be hurried, order a glass of wine BEFORE ordering your food and decline to order until you have savored most of the glass.  High end independent restaurants especially respect that. 

·         Dress up.  Stand up straight.  Approach the hostess or maitre d’ with confidence. 

·         Ethnic restaurant can go either way.  Many years ago when I was young, I lived in West Tampa and because I didn’t like to cook, I ate out a lot on Boliche Boulevard.  Most of those restaurants treated me like one of the family and I could have spent the entire evening there and they wouldn’t care.  However, once a Chinese restaurant in Cardiff, Wales refused to seat me in a totally empty restaurant because they had “reservations”.  Other ethnic restaurants have been obviously uncomfortable with the idea that I was by myself. 

·         Be friendly but not overly familiar with your server.  The server wants to be respected and treated well, but he or she has enough friends and probably (unless the night is really slow) does not want to be your best friend for the evening.  Being friendly also sometimes brings little goodies from the kitchen. 

Thanks for the article.  Let’s hear it for the solitary diner!

Eating Tampa survey

Just a little pre-breakfast post. I want to hear more about this whole clothing-optional restaurant stuff (thanks, John), but first I want to aid my friend Dave in putting together a usable dining guide. He sent me this:

Hey guys, I’ve decided to do a “Best of Eating in Tampa” series of posts, so I’m asking for some feedback. [All the categories are listed on his site]. If you have a moment, please give your suggestion in any categories you want. If you think of any new categories add them at the end. Don’t feel that you have to put something in every category. Next weekend I’ll tally up the scores and post Eating Tampa’s Best Of. Forward this along to anyone you think might be interested. The more votes the better!

I weighed in on a bunch, but I got category-fatigue, so I need to go back and do another round.

Live to Eat, Eat to Live

Butter, salt, cream.

These are the things that make dining out so much more pleasurable than eating in (that, and not having to do the dishes), right? The promise of romantic candlelight, solicitous service and a big pile of saturated fat are what kept us coming back to our favorite restaurants all these years.

Most chefs and restaurateurs these days are sensitive to customers' health concerns, often eschewing heavy sauces and mantles of cheese in favor of broth-based sauces and herbal infusions. Still, in my experience, there are smart—and dumb—ways to approach eating out.

• Rip a page out of the Weight Watchers' manual by asking for sauces and salad dressings on the side; dip a bite in just enough to add "oomph."
• Shoot for grilled items or braised dishes (despite their perceived richness, lean cuts of meat are slowly cooked with stock and vegetables to add tenderness and flavor).
• Remember, just because it's a vegetable, it doesn't signal automatic virtue: gratins, mashed potatoes and frittatas are fat havens.
• And the cardinal rule of healthful restaurant dining is, don't be afraid to ask your server to describe how a dish is prepared. "Crispy" and "golden" are obvious code words for fried, but there are lots of tricky menu euphemisms that your waiter can help decode.

What are your tips for healthful dining out?