Cum on feel the noise

I was listening to NPR the other day and Danny Elfman was chatting with somebody about musical scores and soundtracks for movies. He was dissing people who insist that scores should be “invisible,” meaning an audience member should only really subliminally be aware of the music, that songs should come and go under your conscious radar, adding ambiance, mood and meaning without you even noticing.

To that he says “feh.” Music front and center, he says.

Which got me thinking about music in restaurants. A couple times recently music has been so intrusive and so off-putting that it affected my ability to eat a meal. I went to Café Bohemia in St. Petersburg one day for lunch, eventually abandoning my sandwich because the system was blaring something that sounded like tires squealing over irritable cats. A few weeks before that, I was on a review meal at Cheap in Tampa and the gloomy trance music caused my daughter to ask, “can we go now?” incessantly until threatened with bodily harm. Obviously, music doesn’t have to suit everyone or appeal to the lowest common denominator. Then we’d all be listening to early Beatles songs or a Musak version of "The Girl from Ipanema" all the time (as an aside, here's the world's most killer article about Musak). But when it’s really aggressive or loud or lyrically offensive, it strikes me that customers are entitled to complain.

When I'm reviewing I don't do that kind of thing (send stuff back, whine about the music or the temperature or a dirty fork). I try to stay on the down low. But on my own time, I'm going to start getting oral about the aural assaults.

Cell phone use in restaurants

We all have them. They're kind of like unruly pets we all sheepishly keep indulging. But does that mean we put them on the table next to the salt and pepper, answering the extra-loud Super Mario Brothers theme ringtone every 2 minutes? By the way, that ringtone is #4 on this week's Billboard top ringtone chart. The rest:

1 John Carpenter, Halloween   (very seasonal, don't you think?) 
2  Henry Mancini, Pink Panther    
3 Grupo Montez De Durango, Adios Amor Te Vas      
5 50 Cent, Candy Shop
6 Nickelback, Rockstar   
7 Beyonce, Irreplaceable      
8 Afroman, Because I Got High   
9 50 Cent, Best Friend
10 Rascal Flatts, What Hurts The Most

But I digress. What's the prevailing wisdom on cell phone use in restaurants? Step outside? Put it on vibrate? We all know we talk louder on the phone than we do to our tablemates (because the earpiece isn't connected to the microphone so the user can't really hear himself speaking). Is volume the central problem? Or is it that we leave our tablemates gazing, embarrassed, off into the middle distance while we take a call?

Is there a way to make it less rude?  And for a while there were restaurants with little "please turn off your cell phone signs"--that seems to have gone out the window. Does this mean restaurants, and patrons, are just resigned to shouting and Super Mario Brothers accompanying their meals?

Noises off

I got some good feedback on my noise story yesterday.

Here's a great article on noise sent by Judy Ellis, who sent the note below:

"Many thanks to Laura Reiley for saying what needs to be said again and again: There is no reason for the "ambience" in a restaurant to drown out normal human conversation.  Despite complaints, and despite the Zagat survey, dining establishments continue to  put loud ahead of food.  Last summer, our foursome was being literally pounded senseless at an upscale eatery but when we asked the waiter why management encouraged a war between its diners and the music, he said "Lots of people come here because they like this energy."  I doubt it.  All of us were hoarse for days.  Isn't stimulating conversation one of the reasons people go out to eat? 

Restaurant noise is unforgivable and for those of us in the anti-noise business, inexplicable.  When I heard Malio's was opening at 400 North Ashley, where I used to work, I was dumbfounded, because at the time there wasn't a single sound-absorbing object anywhere in that lobby.  It was a giant echo chamber.
 
One of the things your articles could have made more of is music, which should never, ever interfere with communication and should always be background (unlike at the Chipotle Grill, where they brag about their music being foreground, turn it down only when someone begs and then turn it right back up again, all this despite numerous online complaints and bum reviews about good food and bad music - the owners are very stubborn!).  Lots of things contribute to noise in a restaurant and if you already have a joint that's jumping, crowded with people talking and all the associated sounds of dining, why in the world do you add to it with music that no one can hear but which adds to the din?"
 
Judy Ellis
Noise Free Florida, www.NoiseOFF.org

And from reader Dan Calabria:

"Hi Laura, Bullseye!! I was there about a month ago. The gorgonzola salad was superb as usual and the rack of lamb was nothing less than outstanding. BUT...the noise made it almost unbearable - and we were on the upper level on a Thursday night. Hopefully, they'll figure out how to handle the problem (foam on tables won't do it)."  

I can't hear you...

I’ve consulted for Zagat for the past few years. For them, the second most complained-about part of a restaurant experience is noise (second only to poor service). People hate airstrip-loud restaurants, yet they abound. When I reviewed for the SF Chronicle I covertly took a noise meter to each review and that information was listed at the end of each story.

• Under 65 decibels: pleasantly quiet, can talk easily
• 65-70 decibels: 60-70 is the level of normal conversation at 3-5 feet, normal piano practice, or a fortissimo singer 3 ft. away
• 70-75 decibels: talking normally gets difficult
• 75-80 decibels: can only talk in raised voices (75-85 is the level of chamber music in a small auditorium, 80 decibels is the dial tone of a telephone)
• 80+ decibels: too noisy for normal conversation

Continued exposure to noise at 85 decibels or higher eventually can cause hearing loss, according to standards set by the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health.

The restaurant I’m reviewing next week has a serious noise problem. I’d love to get readers’ thoughts on noise:

Is it a deterrent?
Should restaurants concern themselves with noise abatement?
Which restaurants are noisiest?