You do the math

Word Problem: If Winifred drinks a 20-ounce bottle of regular Coke everyday for a year, how many calories would she take in? And if she quit drinking the Coke, how much weight could she lose?

Y'all ready for this?
A 20-ounce, full-loaded Coke is about 250 calories. Multiply that by 365 and you get 91,250 calories for the year.

To lose a pound, you have to cut back 3,500 calories. So divide 91,250 by 3,500. Look like it's possible that if Winifred switched to Diet Coke and didn't do anything else differently, she could drop 26 pounds in year.

Sort of amazing isn't it?

Seahawks food vs. Steelers food

It's not just football fans that are trash talking about who is going to beat who at Super Bowl Extra Large on Feb. 5. Food editors in Seattle and Pittsburgh are having a throwdown of their own.

If the Steelers lose, Marlene Parrish, food editor of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, will send five pounds of kielbasa to Hsiao-Ching Chou, food editor of the Seatle Post-Intelligencer. If the Seahawks lose, Marlene will get Copper River salmon, which is actually from Alaska.

The Seattle foodies are griping about the Food Network's Seattle Super Bowl menu saying most of it is just as apt for California or Oregon (dungeness crab and raw oysters on the half shell). However, except for Starbuck's coffee, there doesn't seem to be as much that's truly a Seattle food.

Pittsburgh has Heinz ketchup, Clark bars and the ginormous Primanti sandwich that's piled high with french fries.

Hooray for real people!

In the latest issue of Rachael Ray's magazine, Roma Maffia, who plays Liz Cruz on the FX show "Nip/Tuck,'' reveals a page from her food diary.

Breakfast started healthy with 3 fresh persimmons, a cup of coffee and a container of Greek yogurt with honey. By lunch, her good-eating plan was gone. She ate 1 double-double from In-N-Out burger, an Orange Crush, a bag of sweet potato chips and candy bar.

She tried to right herself at dinner with a Caesar salad and a pile of pumpkin seeds, but then polished it all off with a container for Haagen-Daz Dulce de Leche ice cream.

It's probably not far off from what a lot of people eat but it's so surprising, and refreshing, to see an actress admit to eating ANYTHING!

Like so many of us, she vows that "tomorrow will be a better day."

Got milk propaganda?

I don't usually read the comics but today, the first three I looked at were about food. Diet seems to be a big topic in the funnies.

My favorite was Bizarrro with Buzzkill the Lunchlady chastizing kids in the lunchroom for drinking milk: "And remember kids, not only is milk a fattening health hazards, but when you're drinking milk, it means a sad & lonely calf somewhere isn't."

That cracked me up, though I bet the milk marketing people weren't laughing. Talk about a milk machine! Where did they come up with that 24 ounces of skim or low-fat milk in 24 hours can help you lose weight? Oh, yeah, they've got their (paid) scientists but isn't it like the beef people telling you that big wads of meat are good for you or carrot growers saying that lots of the orange veggie makes you see better (it doesn't)? Vitamin A is good for the eyes but your body flushes out excess so no need to overload.

Sometimes, you've got to question where the information comes from.

Chef reality show

Last night when I was watching "Project Runway" and wondering when that irritating Santino is going to get the auf wiedersehen from Heidi Klum, I saw a commercial for "Top Chef." The reality show starts March 15 on Bravo.

Twelve chefs will attempt to prove each week that they are worthy of the $100,000 prize money that will, of course, solve all their problems in life. And lucky them, they get to do it in San Francisco.

Anyhoo, I was wondering if a chef reality show could be as interesting as other types and won't it be difficult for viewers to judge whether they are fabulous cooks or not. On "American Idol," you get to hear the contestants sing and on "Project Runway," you see the clothing designs. On "The Biggest Loser," you have the scale and your eyes to let you see how much weight someone has lost and how great they look. But for food, how can viewers judge if someone is any good since you don't get to taste anything?

Personality will play an even bigger role than usual in "Top Chef" as far as viewers are concerned.

Recipe weirdness

Did you ever find a recipe that sounded so weird you just HAD to try it? Like those cookies with crushed potato chips in them or beer dip, which mixes cream cheese, powdered Hidden Valley Ranch dressing mix and grated cheese with beer to produce the best darn dip you've ever had. Make if for Super Bowl and serve with pretzel rods.

I had great hopes for Baked Lima Beans With Gingersnaps from the "Silver Palate Good Times Cookbook" by Julee Rosso and Sheila Lukens. You mix lima beans with sour cream, grainy mustard and brown sugar then top the mixture with smashed up gingersnaps mixed with melted butter. Bake in the oven for about 45 minutes.

It sounds weird but I figured it was just strange enough to be delicious. The sweetness would play off the earthy flavor of the beans and I would put this dish on my regular rotation.

WRONG! The flavors didn't meld and, in fact, tasted weird together. Harumph. I guess you need to trust your instincts in the kitchen.

Food, glorious, food

The movie "Last Holiday" seems to be more about food than a young woman living the high life in what she thinks are the last weeks of her life.

Queen Latifah, who plays Georgia Byrd, cooks the evening meals by following Food Network chefs but she doesn't eat her rich food. She's a Lean Cuisine girl. Anyway, she takes a trip to a posh resort just so she can meet the chef. Her first night in the restaurant she orders all the specials so she can get a taste of each. Gerard Depardieu plays the chef, who loves her because she doesn't ask to substitute low-fat foods with his carefully chosen ingredients. I'm sure chefs everywhere can relate.

Anyway, there are some great food scenes in this movie. It's not as classic a food movie as "Big Night" or "Babette's Feast" but foodies will appreciate the humor and technique.

Think you know food?

Who cares about the Immaculate Reception or how many home runs Babe Ruth hit? What's really important is what spices make up Indian garam masala or knowing what candy Kramer dropped into the body of a guy having surgery on an episode of Seinfeld. Now that's trivial.

A game called Foodie Craze has about 400 questions about diet fads, weird foods, kitchen knowledge, drinks and food in books, TV and film. The game costs $29.99 and is available from www.foodiecraze.com.

If you need a reason to have a dinner party, this is it!

(Traditional garam masala is ground cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, black pepper and cardamom seeds, though there are other variations. And it was a Junior Mint that went flying from the observatory theater into the chest cavity of that poor soul on Seinfeld.)

A little Opa! in Tarpon Springs

On Saturday I was in Tarpon Springs, which was still celebrating Epiphany with a street fair. If you've not visited this village at the northern tip of Pinellas County, you must. A stroll on Dodocanese Boulvevard along the sponge docks will make you feel like you're in Greece. I guess. I've never been to Greece but I know Tarpon Springs, and especially the sponge docks area, is nothing like any other town in Florida.

We ate at Opa! restaurant, a small mom-and-pop place on Athens Street. We go there often and I always get the flaming cheese appetizer called saganaki and this time got an order of skordalia, which is a dip made of mashed potatoes and tons of garlic. No vampires dared bother me on the way home. (I scrambled the leftovers in eggs the next morning.)

For my entree, I had broiled octopus which, if made correcetly, is tender and mild, the white meat flavored with olive oil and MORE garlic. I love how it looks all menacing on the plate and gets such curious looks from the uninitiated. It was delicious.

Maybe the shot of licorce-tinged ouzo made the difference. Warm and tingly in the tummy.

Celebs and food, sort of

News flash Todd Oldham has been named the official designer of the apron for the 100 finalists for the Pillsbury Bake-Off, which is March in Orlando. Something to add to his resume besides Lazy Boy furniture!

Isaac Mizrahi designed the blue-and-white gingham aprons for the last Bake-Off.

ALSO:
Madonna's ever-changing hair will be on the label of special bottles of wine made by Celebrity Cellars.

On the bottles, Madonna will be illuminated by a mirrored disco ball.
Stayin' alive should be the chameleon girl's motto, for sure.

The selection for the series, which is now available online, will include California Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Grigio and a de-alcholized wine called UnWine.

Caviar ban

Those of you who eat caviar will be interested to know that the global export of the sturgeon eggs was ordered shut down today by the international watchdog that helps nations manage threatened species.

According to the New York Times, "the world's remaining sturgeon fisheries have all suffered from plummeting populations, caused by a combination of dam building, pollution, excessive fishing and unchecked black markets."

In some areas, sturgeon has already been wiped out. The suspension covers all the areas that still export the fish or their eggs, including the Caspian Sea, Siberia's Amur River, and the Black Sea and lower Danube River.

The main importing nations - among them the United States, Britain, France, Germany and Switzerland - are all parties to the 169-nation convention and thus expected to follow the order not to import the products to their markets, says the New York Times.

Free at last!

I am so happy that the holidays are over and I can now start cooking whatever I'd like. Seems like the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's Eve meals have so many requirements, so many "must-have" foods.

Anyway, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, but unfortunately has settled on my hips.

Foods that sound good right now:

- Blueberries, plain or scattered over cereal.
- Citrus, especially the ruby red grapefruits and honeybell tangelos hanging from my backyard tree.
- Sushi, fresh, clean and cold.
- Brussels sprouts, roasted with salt and olive oil.
- Salad, salad, salad.

Time to scale back, isn't it?