Police chief says he didn't try to sell Parker-Broderick stuff

From the AP: An eastern Ohio police chief accused of breaking into the home of the surrogate mom for Sarah Jessica Parker's and Matthew Broderick's twins says he never discussed selling items from the home.

Suspended Martins Ferry Police Chief Barry Carpenter testified Friday at his trial on burglary and other charges, saying he went into the woman's home after he saw a basement door open while on routine patrol.

He says he took a photo of a surrogacy file that contained two ultrasound pictures and of a plaster cast of a pregnant stomach. He says he showed the photo of the cast to paparazzi and to several other people; The police chief of a neighboring town allegedly called the photogs.

How is that a defense of showing private property to paparazzi? Convicted or not, he should get a sentence of having people come to his house and rummage through his things.

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Wesley Snipes appeals his 3 tax convictions

From the AP: Wesley Snipes' attorneys asked a federal appeals court in Atlanta on Friday to review an "unreasonable" three-year prison sentence for the film star, who was convicted a year ago for owing $2.7 million in back taxes.

His attorneys also argued the actor should have been granted a hearing to decide whether his trial should have been in New York instead of Florida. Because we all know how unfair the Florida courts are.

Prosecutors countered that Snipes, 47, had plenty of time to appeal to move the case to New York in a timely manner before he was convicted of three misdemeanor counts of willful failure to file his income tax returns. Besides, they contended, housing records showed he lived in Florida as well as New York, just like most of the Yankees.

The three-judge panel of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals issued no immediate decision, possibly because they were wondering why it took Snipes this long to ask for a change of venue.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Oprah Winfrey says talk show will end in 2011

We don't want to say we told you so, but way back on two weeks ago we said Oprah Winfrey's talk show may be shutting down as the most influential female entertainer in the universe focused on her new network. So Juice*heads shouldn't have been surprised when she announced Friday that her last episode would end on Sept. 9, 2011, the AP now says. That's just in time for the 25th anniversary!

"Twenty-five years feels right in my bones and feels right in my spirit," she said, noting prayer and careful thought led to her decision."... I certainly never could have imagined the yellow brick road of blessings that have led me to this moment."

Winfrey didn't offer any specifics on what would happen once she moved over to the Oprah Winfrey Network, but we're willing to bet she'll have some other kind of show. You think she makes money by doing nothing? Meanwhile, the rest of the show's lifespan won't disappoint, she promises.

"Over this holiday break, my team and I will be brainstorming new ways that we can entertain you and inform you and uplift you when we return here in January," she said. "And then, season 25 -- we are going to knock your socks off."

That can only mean one thing: Eating contests, monster truck rallies, fireworks and nonstop NASCAR!

1 dead in Miley Cyrus tour bus crash

From the AP: One person was killed Friday when a tour bus belonging to entertainer Miley Cyrus overturned, but the 16-year-old Hannah Montana star wasn't on board, Virginia State Police said.

Sgt. Thomas Molnar said the bus ran off the left side of Interstate 85, struck an embankment and overturned. The accident occurred around 8:15 a.m. in Dinwiddie County, about 40 miles south of Richmond. Speed and weather weren't considered factors, although TMZ says the roads were wet from rain.

Molnar said the person who died at the scene was male, but didn't identify him pending notification of family members. One of the other nine people on the bus suffered minor injuries and was taken to a local hospital. Police wouldn't identify those aboard.

TMZ says officials were investigating whether the driver died before or after the accident, which may explain why it drifted off the road and skidded several hundred feet into a ditch.

Molnar said the bus was one of four traveling together after the singer's two-show stint Wednesday and Thursday in Long Island, N.Y. The group was heading to Greensboro, N.C., where she was scheduled to perform Sunday.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Chris Brown is having trouble selling tickets

Who would have guessed Chris Brown would have trouble selling tickets to his "Fan Appreciation" tour? Well, besides everyone with a pulse, that is?

It seems Chris' show in Hollywood at the smallish Avalon earlier this week was so undersold, scalpers were hawking tickets at less than face value, but no one was biting, the New York Daily News says. They're also quick to note that the show was less than two miles from where he beat Rihanna back in February.

"The Avalon is small and I expected it to sell out the first day, but it didn't. I'm not much of a fan, but I bought these tickets for my girlfriend," some 18-year-old named Danny McElroy told the paper. "I've had trouble selling (them). I'm just trying to get back what I paid for them."

You should have paid zero for 'em, ya nitwit; Then it's easy to get a return on your investment. Brown will be at the House of Blues in Orlando on Dec. 1. We'll be sure to not be there.

[Photo: He tried so hard on Wednesday. Getty Images]

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Eric Cartman, Christopher Walken and Lady Gaga sing Poker Face

That pretty much explains it, I think.

Mariah Carey can't have 20 white kittens or 100 white doves

Not to be outdone by tales of Beyonce renting an entire Liverpool hotel room just for her baggage, Mariah Carey is probably off pouting because British health and safety officials refused to let her be surrounded by 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as she turned on a shopping center's Christmas lights in London. No wonder the world hates America.

It's not like organizers of the complex's celebration could find them anyway: 'We did manage to source the doves that we were going to release into the sky, but the kittens proved terribly difficult," a source told the Daily Mail. "In the end, it was made clear that due to health and safety, there was no way we could have the animals at Westfield. We do not allow pets into Westfield -- that rule would apply for everyone."

The menagerie was among a list of demands the 39-year-old diva had for the Thursday event. She also wanted 80 security guards; pink, butterfly-shaped confetti to be thrown into the air; a pink carpet; a wand to "wave" on the lights; consideration for an entourage of 15 recording execs and PR people and a Rolls Royce to drive her to the place.

"We have worked extremely hard to make sure that Mariah's event is fantastic," the source said. "Even the model of car had to be changed six times to one that her people liked."

Oh, we remember Mimi back during her Vision of Love days, when marrying the head of Columbia Records was the most dastardly thing she could do.

[Photo: These kids were probably wondering who the crazy lady was. Getty Images]

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Pamela Anderson had to tell her kids about Tommy Lee sex tape

The grandmammy of all sex-tape mistresses finally has to pay what she owes, as Pamela Anderson confesses she had to tell her two kids about her celluloid shenanigans with then-husband Tommy Lee. Gee, mom, we'd rather talk about menopause than to hear about this, they said.

Anderson said during an interview with British talk show host Jeremy Kyle that her boys Brandon, 12, and Dylan, 11, are finally of the age where things like her background in videography are coming into play, the New York Daily News reports, especially since it was mention in 2006's Borat.

"I knew kids were going to watch the film and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," the 47-year-old said. "I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.' "

Since all the kids have iPhones these days, we doubt they'll just hear about it. Although, it's been a long time since 1998, so maybe 12-year-old boys aren't as into porn as they used to be. Oh, who are we kidding?

[Photo: When your mom looks like this, you're probably not surprised by much. Getty Images]

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Brad Pitt passes up $5 million for his kids

We've been ignoring the constant reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting up for the umpteenth time, mostly because actions speak louder than words. And when Brad passes up a $5 million payday to take his kids trick-or-treating, that doesn't really equate to problems at home, dig?

Life & Style says the prolific papa ditched an invite to the Oct. 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, which was a Formula 1 charity event for clean-water organization Fresh2o. It attracted performers such as Beyonce, Timbaland and a Steve Tyler-less Aerosmith, but Brad decided to dress up as Yo Gabba Gabba's DJ Lance Rock for his kids instead.

“We were told he would be attending as the guest of the Tourism Development & Investment Company,” Global Event Management rep James Magee told Life & Style. “But he was a no-show, and nobody seemed to know why.”

Of course they wouldn't. Of course they wouldn't.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Amy Winehouse has a leaky breast implant

Oh, that Amy Winehouse; Here we were all concerned that she ended up in the hospital over the weekend because of a reaction to prescription drugs, and it turns out her new breast implants were leaking. At least, that's what her dad says, because Mitch is so awesome he needs the world to know.

"It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (Mitch points to his chest) leaky something or other," he told the U.K.'s Sun. A friend adds to 3am: "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."

That "something horrible" was probably just Amy herself, but geez, how traumatic. Mitch blabbing to the press, we mean, not a leaky implant. That guy make Michael Lohan look like a saint.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jennifer Hudson will be playing Winne Mandela

Jennifer Hudson must want to win another Oscar, because she's all set to play Nelson Mandela's wife Winnie in a drama about South Africa's first black president (and first lady), appropriately called Winnie. Hey, that statue for Dreamgirls is getting lonely all by itself.

The biopic, which will be directed by Darrekk J. Roodt of Yesterday and Cry, The Beloved Country fame, begins shooting on May 30. 

“I was compelled and moved when I read the script,” Hudson said. “Winnie Mandela is a complex and extraordinary woman and I’m honored to be the actress asked to portray her. This is a powerful part of history that should be told.”

It will also be told through Clint Eastwood's upcoming Invictus, starring Morgan Freeman. Imagine if they could combine those productions; The Academy might implode from the sheer density of talent.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most overpaid actor

If you're looking for a good investment in Hollywood, you'd do well to keep your money out of the Will Ferrell Film Futures market, because he was just named Forbes' most overpaid film star. It's been a long time since Talladega Nights, huh?

The actor made just $3.29 for every dollar spent on him over the last five years, the magazine reports. His most recent, Land of  the Lost, made only $65 million after costing $100 million to make. Semi-Pro and Step Brothers didn't do too well, either, comparatively.

Ewan McGregor came in second, bringing in a mere $3.75 for every dollar. he's followed by Billy Bob Thornton, Eddie Murphy and Ice Cube. Tom Cruise came in sixth, but only because he struck a deal for getting a piece of the box office pie for several movies despite not starring in them.

The worst female? That'd be Drew Barrymore, who came in 10th on the list at $7.43 for every buck spent. Meanwhile, Shia LaBeouf can rake in $160 for every dollar paid, but most of those movies costarred Harrison Ford and Megan Fox, so that's not a fair comparison.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Beyonce and Lady Gaga mix it up on 'Video Phone'

This is the video e'rybody is yappin' about right now. We don't know what the big deal is, but still, we be watchin' -- even the parts that give us epilepsy.

Eric Dane joins Cher and Christina Aguilera in 'Burlesque'

We're gonna do a trifecta here on people we haven't written about in at least three months and say that Grey's Anatomy's Eric Dane has just signed on to star in Burlesque, a musical drama starring Christina Aguilera and Cher. It's like a B-list bonanza!

The story has Dane playing a businessman trying to buy a burlesque club from Cher and trying to win over a small-town girl whose voice brought her to the big city to work at the venue. So, kind of like the story the Duke from Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge wanted Satine and Christian to create.

Also starring are Stanley Tucci, Cam Gigandet, Alan Cumming and Kristen Bell. The Steve Antin-directed flick should hit theaters this time next year, although we can't see it being here for next Christmas, too.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Model Jessica White dated Sean Penn

We've said before that Natalie Portman may have been Sean Penn's rebound girl after a third try at divorce from Robin Wright, but now model Jessica White says she was the one who was out with the Oscar winner less than a month after he and Robin split. Wow, who will he eventually end up with, Helen of Troy?

The 25-year-old confirmed on Tyra Banks' talk show Wednesday the couple was together, but have since split up.

"Is Sean Penn your boyfriend? I saw you with him," Banks asks White (watch it above). "Can I say that? Is that okay, is that too much?" To which she responds, "No, it's not too much."

Tyra points out White was seen holding hands with Sean in September, and exclaims "She's dating Sean Penn!" But oh no -- "No, I didn't say that," White answers. "(We) used to. Past tense."

Other than that, we don't have much to say about the situation, other than the fact that Robin will have to start dating Taylor Lautner and Zac Efron to keep up.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jenn Sterger has her breast implants removed

Gaither High grad and college football poster girl Jenn Sterger reveals in the new issues of Cosmopolitan that had her nationally famous breast implants removed and discusses why she did it. Was it possibly to ruin every male FSU applicant's fantasies?

"It wasn't a health decision; it was more of a personal one," Sterger told ESPN (hey, we don't read no Cosmo, aight?). "For years, a lot of my critics have attributed any success that I've had to a great plastic surgeon, and I never once really argued with them. ... My implants got my foot in the door, but I truly don't believe that they are the reason I am still around."

No, of course not. Everyone knows it was actually her sparkling personality that got her photo shoots in Maxim and Playboy. Well, her personality did get her on Sports Illustrated's Scorecard Daily for awhile. But why did the friend of tbt* make the change? 

"To be honest, in the months prior to my surgery I couldn't help but start to feel like the elephant in the room," she said. "I knew what everyone was thinking, and I simply got tired of being typecast in life and my work. They started costing me more work than they were actually getting me, so I knew that they had kind of run their course."

We'll have to see if her new movie, The Tenant, is any good before we can rule on that last part.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Rihanna may have a thing for 90210's Tristan Wilds

We're closing in on a year since Chris Brown savagely attacked Rihanna, so it must be about time to hear if she's ready to date again. Forget the Justin Timberlake rumors; The New York Daily News says she's taken a shine to 90210's Tristan Wilds.

The 20-year-old actor showed up at a party Rihanna was hosting over the weekend at her L.A. home before leaving for London, and guests noted the sparks were immediately noticeable.

"No one knew why Tristan was there initially, because it was not an industry party — it was very intimate," a source says. "But everyone quickly realized they weren't meeting for the first time, because they were openly affectionate for everyone to see."

In fact, the pair met when a music producer introduced them. Wilds starred in The Wire and Jay-Z's Roc Boys video, and is working on an album of his own, which is a prerequisite for young actors these days.

"He's a real gentleman," the source adds. "She likes him a lot, and it shows. From the moment he walked into her party, Rihanna lit up."

The affection is only supposed to get more intense, the source promises: "They're already planning to use iChat and Skype to stay in contact until Tristan finishes shooting 90210 for the season and can fly out to meet her on the road." Good, that'll keep us busy here at The Juice* for a spell.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Johnny Depp is People's Sexiest Man Alive

Hot on the heels of the announcement Johnny Depp is about to bank $35 million for a new Pirates of the Carribean movie, People names the 46-year-old the Sexiest Man Alive for 2009. We'd like to argue with that, but hey, it's Johnny Depp.

It's the second time for the actor, who claimed the crown in 2003, a feat only Brad Pitt and George Clooney have accomplished. It's a much better title than Matt Bomer's Sexiest Rising Star. We've never even seen White Collar.

"Johnny Depp was someone who was sexy 10 years ago. He'll be sexy 10 years from now," People senior editor Kate Coyne said on CBS' Early Show. "He's someone who appeals to multiple generations of women."

The Juice* knows that all too well, as several female members of the Juice* clan all have stated as much over the years. It's a good thing he's a notorious jerk and a serial womanizer, or else we'd start to think he's perfect. Wait, he isn't either of those things? Man.

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Tila Tequla sues Shawne Merriman for abuse

In an incremental legal update, reality TV princess Tila Tequila is suing ex-boyfriend and San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for domestic abuse, the AP reports. The penalty for allegedly choking a 100-pound MySpace mistress, according to the suit: $1.5 million.

Merriman was arrested on Sept. 6 after Tila (nee Tila Nguyen) signed a citizen's arrest warrant accusing him of battery and false imprisonment at his home. Merriman, 25, countered he was trying to protect Tila -- by throwing her to the ground and holding her down to prevent her from leaving. She might have been drunk, but Meriman's lawyer won't say that was the reason.

This civil suit is the result of local DA Bonnie Dumanis not filing charges against Shawne, despite the fact that he weighs in pretty close to three bills, and probably didn't have to force Tila to the ground to stop her, let alone allegedly choke her. We think it's entirely possible all those steroids Merriman's been taking may have clouded his judgment.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Forget 'New Moon' already, now there's 'Twilight: Three Wolf Moon'

When it comes to Internet memes, it's hard to tell whether you cool if you know them, or don't know them. We'll say you're uncool if you don't know why this is hilarious, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. And who knew Bella was into hillbillies?

Nerds can get some background here.