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Lindsay Lohan gets 90 days in jail for probation violation

L.A. Superior Court Judge Marsha Revel had obviously had it with Lindsay Lohan’s flagrant violations of probation guidelines on her several legal issues, so she sentenced her to 90 days in jail Tuesday. That must mean she’s not going to make filming for that porn biopic.

Lohan burst into tears after Revel sentenced her for violating probation in a 2007 drug case by failing to attend court-ordered alcohol education classes, the AP reports.

“It’s like someone who cheats but doesn’t think it’s cheating if they don’t get caught,” Revel said.

Before sentencing, a tearful Lohan addressed the court, saying “as far as I knew I was in compliance with my programs.” Apparently there was some confusion about whether Lohan actually had to go to a once-a-week alcohol class every single week.

“I wasn’t trying to get special treatment,” the actress said. “I have to provide for myself. I have to work. Having said that, I did everything to balance my jobs and showing up. I’m not taking this as a joke. It’s my life.”

Lohan was not required to immediately surrender but will have to turn herself in on July 20, the AP says. She will also be required to enter an inpatient rehab program after her release from jail. An L.A. County Sheriff’s spokesman said she would be eligible for a reduction in time served because of overcrowding and for good behavior, and that she would serve her time in isolation for the general population. We wonder if that means she’ll only be in jail for 45 minutes ...

Revel was critical of program operator Cheryl Marshall for failing to report Lohan’s absences to the court before the actress had her bail revoked when the alarm on her alcohol bracelet was triggered on June 6, when Lohan attended the MTV Music Awards. Revel said she didn’t take into account the alert, only Lohan’s failure to attend her classes.

Marshall told the court that Lohan did not sign in on some days the program claimed she had attended and that her signature was on a sign-in sheet on a day she did not attend. Marshall revealed Lohan never attended group meetings but opted for one-on-one sessions because of privacy concerns.

Defense attorney Shawn Chapman Holley argued that Lohan was “absolutely on track to finish the program” and had complied with most of the court’s orders. She also said no one had made clear to LiLo what she had to do to satisfy the requirements of her class. Telling her to be in one place at a certain time just isn’t specific enough for her, we’re guessing.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Source: AP

Oksana Grigorieva has photos proving Mel Gibson beat her

The court fight between Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva is just heating up, with a source saying she has photographic evidence that Mel punched her repeatedly, leaving her face bloody and bruised. Hey, Oksana, we were with you after hearing his profane and racist tirades were caught on tape.

Gibson has denied getting physical during the couple's fights, but RadarOnline says she has evidence that things turned violent:

“You can see Oksana's two main front teeth were broken and there are bruises all over her face,” a source who has seen the pics says. “They will come out eventually and she is prepared to use them in their court case.”

Court case? At this point, she should just nail the evidence on a fencepost in town square and let the local posse run Mel out of town. But then, Hollywood is a town that adores Roman Polanski, so you never can tell what will happen.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Khloe Kardashian shrinks in new Beach Bunny swimwear ad

We're not ones to jump on the gossip media bandwagon and label Khloe Kardashian a sasquatch compared to her sisters, but it's easy to see why she married NBAer Lamar Odom, is all we're sayin'. Too bad all that height didn't work for the Kardashian sisters' Beach Bunny swimwear line, which shows a shrunken Khloe more in line with sisters Kim and Kourtney.

The New York Daily News points out a new ad for the line, which shows Khloe, who is 5-foot-10, barely clearing 5-foot-2 Kourtney and 5-foot-3 Kim. In fact, it looks like the resident Photoshopper just used the "scale" tool all around, shrinking Khloe down to a "boy, I wish I was this size" frame.

Khloe hasn't commented on the shoot yet, although Kardashian fan Twitter account @Kardashian411 has adopted the image as its profile pic. She and her Lakers hubby were getting ready to go to Tuesday's Lady Gaga concert in NYC, so we're betting somebody at the Daily News will corner her soon -- if they can find her in the crowd.

[Photos: Handout, Getty Images]

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Javier Bardem will definitely be on 'Glee'

Just yesterday we questioned whether Snoop Dogg or Katie Holmes were going to be on Glee next season (we still don't know for sure), so let's follow that up by saying Javier Bardem is next in line in the casting rumor mill. We hope that comes with a side of Penelope Cruz.

Bardem is apparently planning to show up as a rock star who befriends Kevin McHale's Artie, Entertainment Weekly says. The Oscar winner apparently came up with the idea himself and pitched it to creator Ryan Murphy -- they know each other after working together on Eat Pray Love.

“We’re going to rock the house,” Bardem told EW. “We’re going to do some heavy metal — Spanish heavy metal, which is the worst.”

Bardem's became infatuated with the show after watching the entire season on DVD in one week. And here we are, still rewatching episodes of Firefly. We should really try a new show.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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At least Israeli soldiers like Ke$ha's 'Tik Tok'

It's no secret The Juice* isn't a fan of Ke$ha, but these Israelis patrolling Hebron sure are. We already showed you American soldiers making a video for Lady Gaga's Telephone, so let's get international. Who cares about the trouble in the West Bank when you're getting a pedicure on your toes, toes?

Via BWE

Jonathan Lipnicki bares his heart on Twitter

It's been a slow holiday weekend, so The Juice* is going to serve up a heaping helping of WTF both for the ladies and kids of the '90s, our two largest demographics (after disgruntled office workers and people who hate anything even remotely connected to the state of modern media). So riddles us this: Whose torso appeared on Twitter in this photo back in May? If you guessed Jonathan Lipnicki, you're a winner!

Who's Jonathan Lipnicki? Oh, come on, he's the adorable kid from 1996's Jerry Maguire. You know, the one who helped Tom Cruise put up with Renee Zellweger's lemonface for almost two hours? Yeah, well, he's 19 now and starring in some movie about MMA fighters, so he had to get in shape. Don't ask us what it's called -- we've done our part to publicize his meager following on his Twitter feed, @JLIPNICKI.

[Photos: via Twitpic and Getty Images/2000, 2010]

Jessica Simpson dating former NFLer Eric Johnson

Let's see: Jessica Simpson has put on a few pounds, is dating a football player and hasn't been working in months. Wow, is this 2008?

We don't really care about minor weight gain, but People says Jess is is dating former San Francisco 49ers and New Orleans Saints tight end Eric Johnson. No, not the guitar-playing Eric Johnson. That would almost make some sense.

"She is happy that she found a great guy," a friend tells the mag, which notes they've been dating since May. "She's really happy."

We don't really think you can draw too many comparisons between Johnson and Simpson's former beau, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. For one, Romo has been playing in the NFL for the last two years, unlike Eric. But then, Eric went to Yale, so he has that going for him. We wonder why he's with Jessica Simpson, in that case.

In other footballer news, disgraced former Miss California USA Carrie Prejean married Oakland Raiders quarterback Kyle Boller in San Diego on Friday, but eh, who cares about them?

[Photo: That's Jess on July 2. Getty Images]

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Katy Perry talks about Russell Brand in topless 'Esquire'

We know, you're already crying on the inside that Katy Perry is marrying Russell Brand, but at least you have pics from the August issue of Esquire U.K., which features Perry topless on the cover (watch video of it above). Oh yeah, there's an interview, too. Too bad she wastes it talking about the head case she's engaged to.

"He used to basically be a professional prostitute -- now he's not," Perry says about her betrothed. "So he's an extremist which can be both good and bad. I always needed someone stronger than me. And I am, like, a f---ing strong elephant of a women."

She'd have to be, since he apparently said the two should do the deed right after meeting on the set of Get Him to the Greek. She didn't take kindly to that.

"I was 25, 30 feet away from him. And I threw the bottle straight at him: hit him smack dab on the head," she says. That makes us happy. "Can you imagine the horrible feeling he had, when he was used to getting everything he wanted? I was like, 'You've met your match, motherf---er.' A week later we went on vacation in Thailand." Aw, that doesn't.

She also has a great anecdote about smoking out with Snoop Dogg. Wonder if that's going to be in his episode of Glee.

"I was scared for my life to get off the hookah," Perry says. "Everyone else is smoking everything else. I was saying to myself, 'If that sh*t still gets Snoop high, if I breathe it in I will die. I will be on a permanent balloon.' I was like, 'Hold on to the hookah.'"

Hold on to the hookah, indeed. Or try to find a special subscriber-only issue of Esquire U.K., which features Katy's cover without all that pesky writing.

[Photo: via Esquire]

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Snoop Dogg, Katie Holmes might be on 'Glee'

It's officially summer and we can't go outside, but thanks to all the rain, so it's becoming more apparent than ever that people are obsessing over the next season of Glee. Um, you have a few months, folks, but what's this? Snoop Dogg and Katie Holmes? What's up with that?

Glee's Cory Monteith says the Doggfather is sniffing around a possible guest role: "I am pretty sure he is going to do Glee," he told News of the World. "That would be really cool."

Cool, indeed; because when we think about a show about a gang of high-schoolers singing Madonna songs, we think Snoop. Meanwhile, people have been saying Katie was negotiating a five-part guest role.

“Katie is finalizing a deal to join the cast for a limited storyline next season," a source told the National Enquirer. "Katie’s film career has stalled, and she’s desperately needs a career boost. She’s hoping a stint on Glee will jumpstart her standing in Hollywood.”

That would be great, except that HollyScoop.com says it's all a lie. A great big lie! At least we have Snoop to look forward to.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jenna Fischer of 'The Office' marries Lee Kirk

Not only was this weekend the 234th birthday of our great nation, but it also was marked the wedding of The Office's Jenna Fischer. Surely you got your invite in the mail.

Fischer, 36, and writer Lee Kirk got hitched on Saturday, People reports. There weren't many details, other than her rep's confirmation that "they were married on July 3 in front of family and friends in Malibu." So at least we know the mag isn't making it up. These two have been engaged since 2008, after all.

"Went to the most beautiful wedding I've ever experienced," costar Rainn Wilson said via Twitter. "Total Love, Jenna Fischer & Lee Kirk!" Awww, that's nice. In fact, it's the only other mention we've seen of this wedding anywhere. How about some details, guys? We're really bored today.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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It's Music Monday!: AbJo, 'Retrospection (Jupiter's Shine)'

We may be the only bloggers working in Tampa Bay today (no, check that, Weird Cousin Steve is over at Stuck in the '80s), so we're gonna play some laid back beats from AbJo's most recent EP, The Nature of Things, which was released last month. You don't have to understand it, just kick back and sail off to Dreamland, and we'll see the rest of you tomorrow.

Joe Francis is marrying Christina McLarty

Smut peddler and notorious womanizer Joe Francis has finally decided to settle down. And no, it wasn't some girl he met while shooting a Girls Gone Wild video.

The 37-year-old proposed to L.A. CBS News entertainment reporter Christina McLarty while on vacation in St. Tropez, the New York Post reports. They've been dating on and off for the last four years. Joe better mind his Ps and Qs: she's the niece of Bill Clinton's former White House chief of staff Mack McLarty, so Francis could conceivably be disappeared if her really screws up. It's not going to be a traditional wedding, though.

"We have chosen to have a civil domestic partnership because we don't believe it's appropriate to be married until our gay and lesbian friends are afforded the same rights as us to legally marry in the United States," Francis told the Post. How noble. The ceremony is planned for September at Joe's beachfront estate in Punta Mita, Mexico.

"The weekend will be fun, luxurious and filled with lots of surprises," Joe said, ever the salesman. He noted his Bel Air neighbor, Quincy Jones, will be the best man. "This will be a nontraditional celebration of love, family and friends." What, like drunken college guys sitting around a dorm room watching one of Joe's videos?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Andrew Garfield will be the next Spider-Man

So long Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man, hello Andrew Garfield. Whew, and here we thought they'd cast someone we'd never heard of!

Sony has announced that the 26-year-old actor will star in their reintroduction of the webslinger in a future film, Variety reports. You may remember Garfield from The Other Boleyn Girl, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus and Robert Redford's Lions for Lambs. Well, you read about those movies, anyway. He's getting ready to star with Jesse Eisenberg in David Fincher's The Social Network, which is coming out in October.

Variety says Andy beat out Jamie Bell and Alden Ehrenreich for the part, with Sony exec Amy Pascal deciding Garfield's screen test was better. When you're playing an awkward uber-nerd like Peter Parker, is that really a compliment? We'll check him out in 3D on July 3, 2012.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Lindsay Lohan gets punched in the face for her 24th birthday

Lindsay Lohan tried really hard to have a happy birthday on Thursday, but it looks like a waitress -- nay, a hero for the masses -- ruined her night by punching the now-24-year-old actress in the face. We'd be upset for Lindsay, but there are rumors she's making it all up anyway, so let's get down to the main event.

"A waitress just hit me - punched me for no reason," LiLo said via Twitter around 1 a.m. Pacific time Friday morning. That would be a waitress at L.A. Club Voyeur, a place The Juice* will never go. But was it true? Yes, a witness tells Us.

"The waitress has a history with Doug Reinhardt, and Lohan was hanging out with him. She was jealous, and out of nowhere, the waitress punched her in the face!" the source says. "Doug didn't want any part of it and went to the other side of the booth. Lohan ran out."

By ran out, that means she went to the nearby Rockstar House, Us says. But her tormentor stalked her down.

"Lohan showed up and cried because the waitress was there as well," another source says. "Some birthday."

Well, the idea of some angry plebe smacking party girl Lohan in the kisser for hanging out with a failed baseball player turned Hills actor makes for a pretty good birthday for us.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Father, brother of Harry Potter's Padma charged with threatening to kill her

The actress who plays Harry Potter wizardmate Padma Patil is involved in a court case in England after her father and brother were charged with threatening to kill her, the U.K.'s Sun reports. Deathly Hallows, indeed.

Afshan Azad's father Abul, 54, and brother Ashraf, 28, had to appear before a Manchester magistrate back on Tuesday on the charge, with the actress' brother also being charged with assault. Afshan was apparently attacked in her home on May 21, though no other details were given.

Court proceedings were adjourned until later this month, the Sun says. Meanwhile, we recommend the 23-year-old Afshan should try moving into the dorms at Xaverian College instead of living at home.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Forget 'Twilight,' go see 'Conan: The Musical'

Arnold's got a reeeel nice singing voice, don't he?

Oh yeah, Kelsey Grammer's getting divorced, too

Why not one more self-destructing marriage to end the day? That's right, Kelsey Grammer's wife Camille has filed for divorce. But after Tiger Woods and Mel Gibson, he's gonna have it pretty easy, we'd think.

Camille's attorney filed the paperwork today, citing irreconcilable differences, TMZ reports. She is looking for spousal and child support, but she has neither audio tape nor a snowball's chance of getting $750 million, so this is like a minor-league divorce.

These two were married in 1997 and have two kids, but we bet Kelsey has already responded with some legal filing that points out he has yet to use racial slurs or bed a dozen porn stars. Because those things would just cross the line.

[Photo: These two in April. Boy, those are some fake smiles, ain't they? Getty Images]

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Mel Gibson caught being racist, awful on audio tape

LANGUAGE ALERT: Mel Gibson allegedly once told his baby mama ex Oksana Grigorieva that the way she was dressed would get her "raped by a pack of n---ers," among other horrible things caught on audio tape by his former girlfriend, RadarOnline reports. If this is true, it makes his arrest in Malibu sound like a Sunday School play rehearsal.

The site says it has heard the tape, which is only one of several outbursts directed at Oksana, who has already accused Gibson of punching her in the face and knocking out her teeth. Besides repeatedly referring to her as a "whore" and the dreaded four-letter c-word, the 54-year-old threatens her with arson.

"How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f---ing nice," he says on the tape. "I am going to come and burn the f---ing house down ... but you will blow me first."

Sweet Enola Gay, that's harsh. We wonder if fear is the reason why wife Robin stayed with him so long. But back to the slammer quote, which involved Mel ranking out Oksana for the way she was dressed.

"You're an embarrassment to me," Mel says on the tape. "You look like a f---ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n---ers, it will be your fault."

The recording was apparently part of Grigorieva making her case that he was abusive. Court documents and restraining orders have been filed, but the documents have been sealed. The tape includes the argument Mel and Oksana had, as described in the court case.

"Look what you did to me ... look what you are ... look what every part of you is ... f--ing fake ... f---ing fake," Mel says during the row, which he described in court as a loud argument. "You are the most synthetic person ... who the f--- are you?"

We were just wondering the same thing, Mel. Bye.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Chris Brown may have used eye drops at BET Awards to fake tears

We knew Chris Brown's performance at Sunday's BET Awards, where he broke down crying while performing Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror, would be assailed as being fake. We're just surprised it took people more than three days to make accusations, since someone just told Us that Chris used eye drops to fake his tears. Surprise!

A witness tells the mag that moments before taking the stage, Brown's bodyguard gave the 21-year-old performer tear-inducing eye drops: "He rubbed it in and he started crying," the source says. Brown's rep calls the claim "completely untrue," of course.

And,w ell, that's pretty much it. There's no proof, other than a sickly feeling in the pit of your stomach that once again, you were duped by a manipulative publicity stunt. That should produce some real tears, if you think about it too much.

[Photo: AP]

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