Penelope Cruz forgot her free upgrade

Penelope Cruz freaked onboard a flight from Newark to Barcelona as it left the gate Thursday night, causing the plane to be delayed almost two hours as Cruz got off and got her luggage, the Huffington Post reports.

“She was freaking out and refused to fly,” a passenger on the Continental flight tells the Post. Flight 120 returned to the gate and later left at 8:52 p.m. for a 7:10 departure, the airline’s Web site shows. She is scheduled to shoot a Woody Allen film in Barcelona.

Maybe she was having flashbacks of the emergency landing she had to endure with Salma Hayek back in 2004.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Two deaths after Rolling Stones show

Two workers died on Friday after part of the set from a Rolling Stones concert in Madrid collapsed on top of them as they were dismantling it, Reuters reports.  A third man was seriously injured after four people fell from a 33-foot structure that gave way as the team helped take it down after Thursday night’s concert. IDs weren’t provided, but about half the workers on set were English-speakers traveling with the tour.

Quote of the day

“Well, it didn’t help me on the set that I was a black man who wasn’t a mush-mouth Negro walking around with his head in his hands all the time. I didn’t speak like I’d just left the plantation and that can be a problem for people sometime.”

— Isaiah Washington, telling Newsweek what he thought were the reasons behind his firing from Grey’s Anatomy.

Scott Baio has a stable relationship?

We were so jazzed by the idea of Scott Baio returning to TV so we can laugh at him, we forgot to question whether the plot of the VH1 series, Scott Baio is 45 ... And Single, was even true.

According to ContactMusic.com, it turns out Baio has been in a committed relationship with former Playboy Playmate Renee Sloan for two whole years! Sloan was Pamela Anderson’s stunt double on Baywatch (slo-mo running is hard work), which makes sense, since Baio dated Anderson in the past.

In fact, the pair were together throughout the taping of the show, the Web site says. A source tells the Globe tabloid: “Scott’s really crazy about her... Scott and Renee have been talking about starting a family.” That’s okay, Scott; marriage is an outdated concept anyway.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Crazy couples abound on The Juice* today

As if Jordan and Peter wasn’t enough, there’s a new entry in the long line of whack celeb couples making reality shows. Next up: Ice-T and his wife, Coco. The pair are planning to shoot a pilot next month called Beauty and the Beast.

“Guess who’s the beauty and who’s the beast?” Ice-T says to AllHipHop.com. The show will focus on how they make their unusual union work.

What’s Ice-T’s take on the secret to success? “Some women just have a knack for wanting the most rowdiest men. There’s a way to get us. If you got a pitbull, as long as you feed it and take care of it, that pitbull is gonna lick your hand. So when someone says ‘Yo Coco, Ice is a pitbull, she can say, ‘yeah, but he’s my pitbull.’ ”

Truth be told, we’re so amazed this freak show is still together that we may actually watch it.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Brit vs. K-Fed, Round 2

Britney Spears continues to battle Kevin Federline over the couple’s divorce, People says. Kevin apparently doesn’t want to sign the final divorce papers — which include the interim arrangement of joint custody of Sean and Jayden they reached in March — because he’s worried about Brit’s behavior.

“Britney’s attorneys are anxious to see Kevin sign off on a divorce,” a source tells the magazine. “But Kevin and his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan are dragging their heels out of concern over reports of Britney’s post-rehab partying.”

Fed-Ex wants to work the language so he can snatch the tykes away the next Bratney has meltdown. What’s scary about this is after watching Spears the last six months, we have to agree with him.

This is Stephanie Tanner? Really?

Our recent discussion of John Stamos’ condition while giving interviews in Australia got us to thinking, what happened to the rest of the Full House cast? We know about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Dave Coulier swings through Tampa every now and again, but what about Jodie Sweetin, who played little Stephanie Tanner?

Well, looks like the 25-year-old’s had some work done en route to the launch of an L.A. location of Harry Morton’s Mexican chain Pink Taco (click on it for the, ahem, enlargement). There are so many jokes here we find it hard to pick one, but we’ll go with: Who’s laughing now, Kimmy Gibbler?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jordan births a bouncing baby girl

Brit model Katie Price  — a.k.a. Jordan — gave birth this week with husband Peter Andre at her side, the U.K.’s Sun newspaper reports.

The 6-pound, 13-ounce girl is Price’s first daughter. The requisite flack says the pair are “absolutely over the moon with the new addition to their family and delighted to have a sister for (sons) Harvey and Junior — it is a dream come true!”

And what’s the plan for Price? “I’m really looking forward to going out and buying all pink stuff and making her room all pink and girlie.” Can’t wait to miss that episode of Jordan and Peter on E!.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Cruise not banned by Germany after all

Looks like reports earlier this week that Tom Cruise couldn’t film parts of his new flick Valkyrie on German military bases because he is a Scientologist were untrue.

According to ABC.com: “The source of the Valkyrie controversy seems to have stemmed from a posting on the Web site of conservative German member of parliament Antje Blumenthal. Blumenthal posted a statement Friday claiming that Defense Minister Franz-Josef Jung had pledged to her that Cruise would not get permission to shoot because of the purported danger posed by his Scientology.”

In fact, members of the ministry are now saying it would welcome application to shoot on location. The only monkeywrench may be one of the sites is now a memorial, and houses offices of the defense ministry. We’d like to hear what they think the “purported danger” Scientology poses may be.

[Photo: Cruise in the Netherlands this week. Getty Images]

I look pretty good in yellow

Not since M&M's let you create your own M&M avatar have I been this excited about a time-waster. Now you can create your own Simpsons character. That's right, you too can be a yellow-skinned, bug-eyed freak!

Here's my first attempt at myself. Not entirely accurate, but hey, it's not like you really know any better.

And yes, I totally bit today's time-waster off Best Week Ever, but you know what? I knows a winner when I sees one.

Check out the "Create Your Simpsons Avatar" at http://www.simpsonsmovie.com/main.html .

Eve gets some new jewelry

Eve’s legal woes continue, as the rapper had lawyer Blair Berk plead no contest to DUI for crashing her Maserati in L.A. in April, TMZ says. Even though she wasn’t present for the ruling, Eve will now spend 45 days with an alcohol monitoring device strapped to her ankle (a more and more prevalent accessory for celebs these days). She also get 36 months of probation, must pay $1,400 in fines and enroll in an alcohol education program. All this has to be set up by July 20, the site says, which gives her plenty of time to get into more trouble.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Well played, Mika!

Here's a journalist with some gumption. As much as The Juice* savrs its gossip, we;ve begun to agree with MSNBC anchor Mika Brzezinski on this one.

LiLo might've been high and drunk during crash

Now we know why Lindsay Lohan decided to spend extra time in rehab — she was allegedly full of more narcotics than a Walgreens when she crashed her car in Beverly Hills on Memorial Day.

TMZ says toxicology reports conclude the 20-year-old had “nearly twice the legal limit” of alcohol and traces of cocaine in her bloodstream. That shouldn’t be a surprise, because that was the crash in which the cops found a “usable amount” of nose candy inside the car.

You know what this means — the L.A. district attorney could be calling on LiLo soon!

Fine, we'll join the club

We love it when competing shows like VH1's Best Week Ever and E!'s The Soup agree a clip of a show is so hilarious, they both have to show it. Here's said clip, a beautiful moment from MTV's My Super Sweet 16 that reminds The Juice* of when we worked all summer to buy a 1979 Ford Fairmont with no rear windows.

Usher and Tameka, sittin' in a tree ...

In a belated stork report, R&B icon Usher and fiancée Tameka Foster confirmed Wednesday they have a baby Usher on the way, E! Online reports.

“We are extremely excited at this point in our lives planning our wedding and the joy that comes with expecting our first child,” the couple said in a statement. “We hope people will be happy for us and respect our privacy during this happy period in our lives.”

This will be the first child for Usher, 28, and the fourth for Foster, who recently divorced Noontime Music cofounder Ryan Glover, the Web site says.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Five of the seals are broken: Spice Girls return

Well, it’s official, the Spice Girls are back. The quintet announced Thursday that they will reunite for 11 shows in December and January, the AP reports, answering the question that no one really asked (besides the tabloids).

“Imagine you got divorced and you’ve got back together with your ex-husband,” Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell said, explaining how she felt about the reunion.

“She just appreciates the fact we’ve let her back in,” joked Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham. It was Halliwell’s split from the group in 1998 to started the group’s downfall leading to their breakup in 2001, you'll recall.

The group said the shows would be in Los Angeles on Dec. 7; Las Vegas on Dec. 8; New York on Dec. 11; London on Dec. 15; Cologne, Germany, on Dec. 20; Madrid, Spain, on Dec. 23; Beijing on Jan. 10; Hong Kong on Jan. 12; Sydney, Australia, on Jan. 17; Cape Town, South Africa, on Jan. 20; and Buenos Aires, Argentina on Jan. 24.

Not only that, but we’ll be inundated with a Spice Girls greatest hits album (with what? two songs?) and a TV documentary they are filming. Plus, the tour will be set up to accomodate the girls’ combined seven children — Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown just had Eddie Murphy's illegitimate child and even Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton is pregnant with her own baby now. Melanie "Sporty Spice" Chisholm is blisfully free from such shackles.

“Our priority is going to be our families. We want to have fun,” said Beckham, who has three sons with husband David. “That’s one of the many reasons for this, for our children to see what we used to do.”

Churn out bubblegum pop hits and grate ears with cockney slang? The tykes will be so proud.

[Photo: Getty Images]

A musical moment with Telly

This is a far cry from the crazy dude Telly Savalas played in The Dirty Dozen, so we dig the spoken word singing the plain-pated actor does here (William Shatner, eat your heart out). We just want to know if that woman ever blinks.

Coming soon: Oprah breakfast cereal

Oprah Winfrey spends a lot on her audiences, but know she wants to get into your pockets. The talk show host is opening a store for Oprah merchandise across the street from her Harpo Studios location in Chicago, the Sun-Times reports.

The 4,500-square-foot store will feature such necessities as African-designed baskets and bead art, all sorts of apparel, DVDs and trinkets like a $14 iPod cover with the Oprah logo, the paper reports. No word on whether Steadman Graham will man the registers.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Bruce ruins daughter Rumer's image of men

Bruce Willis is a favorite of ours and all, but we find it a tad disturbing the 52-year-old actor was seen “flirting and leaving with a gorgeous young blonde” at the premiere party for Live Free or Die Hard last Friday in Times Square.

Why? The New York Post’s Page Six quotes its unnamed source as saying he did it “right in front of Rumer Willis,” his 18-year-old daughter. And then on Sunday, Rumer got to witness daddy celebrate Petra Nemcova’s birthday at the Gramercy Park Hotel by living it up at a table of “20-something models.”

We don’t want to hate on Bruce — if you dig girls with daddy issues, go right ahead. But please, don’t give your own daughter those same issues.

[Photo: Bruce with Rumer at left and Tallulah at right, and his dirty wife-beater from Die Hard, too. He donated the shirt, a poster, his badge and an original script from the first movie to the Smithsonian this week. Getty Images]

Quote of the day

“I don’t care. I don’t care about any of this and I don’t have much of an opinion on myself. ... I’m not in this to be a f---ing role model.”

— Singer Amy Winehouse in a Spin interview, during which she carved “I love Blake” (referring to husband Blake Fielder-Civil) on her stomach with a shard of glass.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jessica Simpson smells like failure

In another desperate bid to get attention, Jessica Simpson has joined up with Parlux Frangrances Inc and consulting company Camuto group to sell a new fragrance, the AP reports. Parlux already has licenses for signature smells for Paris Hilton and Maria Sharapova, so why not add another blond to the group? The perfume will be released in July 2008, but there’s no telling if we’ll even remember Jessica by then.

[Photo: Getty Images]

A blowout and a couple reunion tours

• Jennifer Lopez, Fergie, Fall Out Boy and Usher will perform at the fourth annual Fashion Rocks concert on Sept. 6, the AP reports. Aerosmith, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys, Avril Lavigne, Ludacris, Martina McBride and Santana are also scheduled to appear at the New York event, which will be broadcast the next night on CBS. With this lineup, Ticketmaster will probably charge a convenience fee to your TV.

• The Bitter Sweet Symphony is starting up again, as The Verve announced they are reuniting for a new album and live dates in the U.K. this fall, Billboard reports. Well, everyone but guitarist/keyboardist Simon Tong, who is probably still mad at Nick McCabe for leaving back in 1998.

• Rage Against the Machine will be a headliner at the third annual Vegoose Music Festival, set for Oct. 28-29 in Las Vegas, Reuters says. That’s after playing in the Rock the Bells tour in New York in July and joining the Voodoo Music Experience in New Orleans on Oct. 27. Apparently music festivals are part of the machine.

Stamos goes crazy down under

John Stamos has been staggering around the Australian continent the past couple days, doing his best Paula Abdul impression, Access Hollywood says.

First came a rambling, incoherent interview with the Daily Telegraph, followed up by a rambling, incoherent TV interview on Kerri-Ann Kennerley’s morning show (watch that below).

The Stamos camp denies intoxication, claiming jet lag was the culprit, but you have to wonder when this was his response to the newspaper’s question about whether he stays in touch with the Olsen twins: “It was interesting the time they were going through some of their issues, um, certainly Mary-Kate,” Stamos said. “I was getting divorced, so, um, I think Ashley was kind of alone, and, um... at a beach house, and she came down to stay with me ... but, um, I think they’re doing really well now ...”

He also summed up the visit on Kennerly’s show by ending his talk by comparing himself to Elvis Presley and Princess Diana, saying, “Who else has died? My career after coming to Australia.”

[Photo: Getty Images]

Clooney, friends raise big bucks for Darfur

Is there anything George Clooney can’t get done? The Hollywood hotshot told the AP that Ocean’s Thirteen stars have donated $5.5-million to humanitarian efforts in Sudan’s Darfur region.

Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle and producer Jerry Weintraub helped raise a total of $9.3-million for Darfur, most of which was contributed at a dinner during the film’s premiere last month at the Cannes Film Festival. Half of it has already been donated to help the 2.5-million civilians driven from their homes, he said.

“There are only a few things we can do — protect them where we can, and provide food, water, health care and counseling,” Clooney said. “We’re just trying to get them to live long enough to get to the next step.”

He added he hopes to keep replenishing the organization they have founded, Not On Our Watch. The group just donated $1-million to the U.N. World Food Program, as well. Are you paying attention, Paris?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Because Japanese TV is a trip

While we're all fretting over what will happen to The Price is Right in the aftermath of Bob Barker's departure, the Japanese comes up with awesome game shows like this, where players must find a way to fit through a sytrofoam wall, a la Tetris. We'd end up in the drink several times, looks like.

O.J. didn't (or maybe did) write awful book

O.J. Simpson didn’t write a thing in the controversial book If I Did It, promoter Norm Pardo tells the New York Post.

“O.J. told me [ReganBooks publisher] Judith Regan approached him and said to him, ‘Do you mind if we write a book and put your name on it?’ I said, ‘I don’t care. You can write anything you want, as long as you pay me,’ ” Pardo said. “O.J. would laugh, ‘Can you believe they’d pay me to say I wrote something I didn’t actually write?’ ”

He says a ghostwriter wrote the entire thing without Simpson’s input, but O.J.’s lawyer, Yale Galanter, says that’s not true. Galanter says Simpson went over the book with ghostwriter Pablo Fenjves for “many hours and days,” and even corrected a completed transcript.

O.J. even “practiced crying” for an interview with Regan, Pardo says, but Galanter claims he “didn’t recall any crying.” Only our tears, over the sad state of the publishing world.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Madonna hatin' on the Rhythm Nation?

The New York Post’s Page Six is trying to stir up a war between the queens of the pop kingdom, Janet Jackson and Madonna. The tabloid says Madge showed up at trendfest Butter on Monday night with Shakira and met up with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher and Penelope Cruz.

But even though Damita Jo was just a few booths over, “She was not invited to join Madonna’s crew,” a spy said. It’s not like Madonna couldn’t have shared: The source says the table drank “seven bottles of champagne and a ton of beer.” And the life essence of several young girls.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Beyonce rips someone off yet again

The blogosphere is all atwitter at the latest apparent round of Beyonce biting off other people's ideas. The singer has been accused before of stealing looks and imagery, but never before was it so apparent as last night, when she kicked off her number at the BET Awards by stepping out of a metallic robo-suit straight from an anime cartoon.

That's great and all, but bloggers point out Kylie Minogue did the very same thing back in 2002 on her Fever tour.

Of course, Kylie remained stationary (opting for some half-hearted robot-arm action near the end) while Beyonce jumped out of her shell for a quick Lord of the Dance-inspired skipping and shuffling. Next thing you know, she'll be wearing sequined mini-dresses. Oh, wait ...

No more Paris for 'Us'

The Paris Hilton backlash is in full swing, with the sacred pages of Us Weekly swearing off the celebutante this week, the magazine says. That’s like swearing off food or oxygen for a gossip rag, but we can dig their reasoning.

“When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue,” US Weekly Editor Janice Min told the AP.

In fact, the glossy won’t mention her anywhere in their pages, not even the beauty and fashion stories — the one place Paris has a legitimate claim to fame. So what is Us planning as a cover story? Hollywood babies, with Suri Cruise getting the newsstand exposure.

If you’re not hip to that jive, check out People, which has an “exclusive interview” with Hilton. You know, Us may be on to something here ...

Nicole digs Nintendo

Now that Keith Urban is out of rehab and she’s wrapping up her new zombiefest flick  The Invasion, what’s Nicole Kidman up to? Well, it looks like she’s spending her time playing with her Nintendo DS, as evidenced by a new commercial featuring the awesome Aussie.

Underwood, Eubanks are sexy sans meat

We at The Juice* are about as carnivorous as you can get, but today’s the day when the vegetarians take over.

The AP reports Carrie Underwood and Kevin Eubanks have been named PETA’s “world’s sexiest vegetarians,” besting the likes of Joaquin Phoenix, Milo Ventimiglia, Kristen Bell, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jared Leto and Lisa Edelstein in the annual contest.

They take the crowns from last year's winners, Prince and Bell, who starred on Veronica Mars before it got canceled by meat-loving network execs.

A whole 110,000 votes were cast in the competition, which may explain why Underwood is winning after already getting the title in 2005.

[Photos: AP, Getty Images]

Tyrese is getting married, one way or another

After lots of speculation, actor/singer Tyrese Gibson is indeed engaged, People reports, but not to Brandy. The 28-year-old is marrying some unnamed woman, who happens to be pregnant with his baby. Wait, he’s marrying the mother of his first child? And it’s not a publicity stunt for Transformers? Is he even allowed to do that these days?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Things are just Fiennes for Ellen

Spies for the New York Post’s Page Six spotted actress Ellen Barkin at the Mercer Hotel with a new boy-toy, “holding hands and cuddling before going up to his room.” Who is the mystery man? Oversexed actor Ralph Fiennes. The pair had already been seen “full-on making out” at the hotel last week. Apparently Qantas stewardesses aren’t doing it for him anymore.

[Photo: Getty Images]

What if Angelina Jolie was a trashy hick?

That's the question the makers of Clones hit us up with. The show follows normal peeps who look like fabulous folks, like Tiffany Claus, who really does look like Angelina Jolie (after a serious bender, or maybe playing the smack-addled model in Gia).

Some movie shorts

• Al Pacino and Robert De Niro may be joined in their latest film venture, Righteous Kill, by rapper Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, the Hollywood Reporter says. Fiddy will play a drug dealer, which is a real stretch for him, we’re sure.

• Shia LaBeouf may reunite with Disturbia directorial cohort D.J. Caruso for Eagle Eye, about a slacker and a single mother framed as terrorists, Reuters reports. Anything to distract us from his roles in the assured dreck of Transformers and Indiana Jones 4.

• Hugh Hefner’s Playboy exploits will be coming to the big screen, courtesy of director Brett Ratner and producer Brian Grazer, Variety says. There might be a little nudity involved.

Lindsay's probably sick of mom and dad

It’s official: Lindsay Lohan really is extending her stay in rehab, according to mom Dina.

“She’s going to be doing extended care,” Dina Lohan said in Tuesday’s editions of the New York Daily News. “It was her choice.”

Lohan was speaking to the paper after a hearing at Nassau Family Court in Mineola, N.Y. Judge Stacy Bennett ordered Lohan and her estranged husband, Michael Lohan, to attend family therapy.

Bennett said the family therapy aims to gradually reunite Michael Lohan (who was just released from prison for drunken driving and attempted assault) with his two youngest children.

You think all of this is related somehow? With parents like these, any hiding place would seem great.

[Photo: Getty Images]

'American Idol' tryouts announced

Get ready to try your luck again. Fox has announced auditions for the seventh season of American Idol, and it looks like you’ll have to head down Alligator Alley to get turned down.

The talent search will start July 28 in San Diego, when aspiring schmoes will line up at Qualcomm Stadium for wristbands to take part in the July 30 auditions. Other stops are Dallas; Omaha, Neb.; Atlanta; Charleston, S.C.; Miami (Aug. 22 at American Airlines Arena) and Philadelphia.

After this last snoozer of a season, all we can hope for is that the Southeast-heavy focus pays off.

Benoit family deaths a possible murder-suicide

The death of pro wrestler Chris Benoit, whose body was found next to his wife Nancy and 7-year-old son Daniel at their home in Fayetteville, Ga., on Monday, may be the result of a murder suicide, authorities say.

Reuters reports the WWE superstar, known as the Canadian Crippler and the Rabid Wolverine, had canceled two appearances in Texas over the weekend, citing a family emergency. He then sent “several curious text messages” to friends early Sunday, prompting police to check on him at home and finding the grisly scene.

“We’re viewing it at the moment as a murder-suicide,” Fayette County D.A. Scott Ballard told CNN. “We aren’t foreclosing the possibility that it might be a triple murder but our belief at the present time is that there is no killer at large.”

UPDATE: TMZ quotes authorities as saying Benoit may have strangled his wife on Saturday, smothered his son the next day, then hanged himself in the home's weight room on Monday. A coroner's ruling is not yet available.

The site also quotes divorce papers and a request for a restraining order filed in 2003 in which Nancy says Benoit "lost his temper and threatened to strike the petitioner and cause extensive damage to the home and personal belongings of the parties, including furniture." Nancy also was "in reasonable fear for petitioner's own safety and that of the minor child."

Nancy asked to have the papers dismissed three months later.

[Photo: AP]

Oh, like you haven't heard

While all the Juice*heads were tucked away safely in their little beds (or up watching DVR'd episodes of E! True Hollywood Story), poor little rich girl Paris Hilton made her break from the clink in L.A.

After three weeks of a $1,109.78-per-day stay, Hilton was released around 12:15 a.m. Left Coast time this morning, meaning The Juice* was moving on to our third round of REM sleep right about then.

A swarm of insane people crowded outside Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood to see if they couldn't take a pic of Paris (and sell it to X17, no doubt) as the cell-ebutante made her way to see mom Kathy, who apparently couldn't be troubled to even step out of her SUV to hug her jailbird daughter. They left together en route to the HIlton compund above Sunset Blvd.

"She fulfilled her debt. She was obviously in good spirits. She thanked people as she left," said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore.

Well, she's technically still got some debt to fulfill, as Paris will be on probation until March 2009, during which time she has to keep her drivers license current and not break any more laws. That gives her plenty of time to develop a market scheme for the incarceration diet: Officials say the heirhead lost 10 pounds during her stay, according to TMZ.

Don't forget to TiVo her exclusive interview on Larry King Live on Wednesday (and then "forget" to watch it).

[Photos: AP]

Quote of the day

“I don’t think we’ve ever said (I love you). I mean, I’m sure we have, but we would have to punch each other in the arm first.”

— Angelina Jolie, pretty much telling Marie Claire that she has intimacy issues with Brad Pitt because of her strained relationship with daddy Jon Voight.

Larry is the only one who will talk to Paris

Thanks to Larry King’s hard-hitting interview style, we’ll soon know the ordeal behind Paris Hilton’s all-too-short jail time.

E! reports the interviewer has scored the first sit-down with the heirhead on Wednesday night, just in time for us to find out that she pretty much sat around for three weeks and proved that no one younger than age 30 can write in cursive anymore.

“I am thrilled that Larry King has asked me to appear on his program to discuss my experience in jail,” Hilton said in a statement. “Larry King is not only a world renown journalist but a true American icon. It will be an honor to do his show.”

Of course, the only reason King has the interview is because NBC, ABC and CBS all turned down the opportunity to chat her up (with the Hiltons trying to win a big payday in the process). Now that’s integrity!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Sizemore off to the clink

Looks like Tom Sizemore didn’t rate a second chance with his latest judge. Reuters reports the Saving Private Ryan actor was sentenced Monday to 16 months in prison for violating his probation in a drug possession case.

The actor admitted in court last week to violating his probation on a previous felony drug conviction and tearfully pleaded with the Los Angeles Superior Court judge for leniency, begging her, “If you would please just give me one more chance for myself.”

He was on three years probation for meth possession when he was busted with the drug again on May 8. Now he’s got to go back on Tuesday to see whether he’ll get credit for the time he’s been in residential drug treatment facilities, which obviously haven’t been working.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Britney may be heating up her own cold war

And what would The Juice* be without Britney Spears gossip? It seems the Brat is getting ready to file a restraining order against her mom, Lynne, to keep her away from her two kids. At least, that’s what X17online.com says.

The paperwork alleges Lynne has been abusing prescription pain medication, a source says. That reunion a few days back? Actually a surprise visit from mom, and Britney apparently didn’t like it.

The sticking point seems to be that Lynne has been going behind Britney’s back and visiting Sean and Jayden at ex Kevin Federline’s house, so Britney is convinced Kev and mama are plotting against her to take away the tykes (just like they “plotted” against her to stick ehr in rehab). With a daughter as crazy as this, we can understand taking painkillers.

Rosie won't be ruining our favorite game show

We can lay to rest that awful rumor of Rosie O’Donnell taking over for Bob Barker on The Price Is Right — Rosie says it’s a no-go. After having a “nice lunch” with the producers, Rosie says she changed her mind on taking over the show.

“Well, here’s the thing: I don’t really need a job,” O’Donnell says in a video posted Sunday on her Web site. “I’m in a weird position. I don’t need the money. So to get my entire family uprooted from their lives and move them across the country so that I can have a fantasy childhood indulgence, you know, job ... it just doesn’t seem fair.”

Rosie and her partner live in Nyack, N.Y., with their four children.

“You know, if they were able to do it in New York, it would be a different story,” O’Donnell says. “But it looks like it’s — ain’t gonna happen.” That sounds like O’Donnell actually asked them to move it from L.A. We wonder how they took that suggestion, and whether they’re still laughing.

[Photo: Getty Images]

For some reason, everyone's watching this

Far be it from The Juice* to be left out of the mainstream. Here's an awfully dramatic gopher, doing his awfully dramatic gopher thing. People have been calling it a chipmunk, but it's a gopher. Or maybe a prarie dog. Whatevs.

And yet it was sold to her in a capitalist market

Cameron Diaz had to do a little apologizing after getting some on-the-job cultural sensitivity training over the weekend. While visiting the Incan city of Machu Picchu in the Peruvian Andes on Friday, Cammy wore a olive green bag with the Mao Zedong-era communist slogan “Serve the People” in Chinese.

Problem is, in Peru it’s reminiscent of the Maoist Shining Path insurgency that crippled the government in the 1980s and ’90s and killed nearly 70,000 people.

“I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it,” Diaz said in a statement e-mailed to the AP on Sunday. “I’m sorry for any people’s pain and suffering and it was certainly never my intention to reopen what I now know is a painful wound in this country’s history.”

And nary a mention of why Diaz was in Peru to begin with: She’s working with 4REAL, a Canadian TV production that focuses on young community leaders around the world. This is a great lesson on knowing the local history of the places you visit.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Sure, you can think it, but ...

Just remember, folks, no matter what you think, you can’t label Victoria Beckham a “grade A bitch,” because she’ll sue you for it and win. The AFP reports the wife of footballer David Beckham won undisclosed libel damages in London’s High Court on Monday after Star magazine called her that and more.

The glossy said the crew on her new reality show, Coming to America, “can’t stand her” and said she was “very picky, demanding and rude,” according to Posh’s lawyer Gerrard Tyrell, who testified in court. Star also said she yelled at Becks “like he’s one of her kids” when he called her on the set, Tyrell said.

“The show is designed to make her a star in the States, but she’s dreaming if she thinks that’s going to happen,” Tyrell said the magazine wrote. “She’s coming off as a grade A bitch!”

The problem? Filming hadn’t started yet, so there was no crew to say such things. Star paid her off, printed a retraction and took on her legal costs, a tradition in British courts. They really are more civilized than us!

Cruise must keep stress tests out of Germany

Germany is no fan of Tom Cruise, it seems, and especially when it involves Cruise playing a German officer who tried to kill Adolf Hitler.

Reuters reports the nation has barred the makers of Valkyrie (named after the plot to assassinate the Nazi leader in 1944 with a briefcase bomb) from filming at military sites because Tommy, who is playing historical protagonist Col. Claus von Stauffenberg, is a Scientologist.

“In general, the Bundeswehr (German military) has a special interest in the serious and authentic portrayal of the events of July 20, 1944 and Stauffenberg’s person,” Defense Ministry spokesman Harald Kammerbauer said.

Apparently being a Scientologist prevents you from acting authentically -- German officials have labeled Scientology a cult that masquerades as a religion to make money, and do not recognize the church.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Pipes and looks not enough for Xtina

With her newfound power from beating out Britney Spears and Jessica Simpson for the title of hottest girl in pop, Christina Aguilera is setting her sights on new conquest.

“I am looking forward to moving into another form of what I feel is another creative outlet for me and that would be acting,” the 26-year-old singer told the AP Monday in Shanghai, where she was to hold her first mainland China concert Tuesday night.

“It is something that, when I attempt to do it, I want to do it right so it’s important for me that I do choose the right first role for myself.”

The Juice* is conflicted about this: We’d love to see Christina continue her success, but remember how it took her three tries to get the whole top-selling album thing right.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Ocala theater really tells you the plot

Folks, sometimes your business is everyone's business. Such is the case at this movie theater in Ocala. At least it wasn't about John Travolta.

[Photo: AP]

Eddie's the baby daddy, all right

Speaking of the Spice Girls, this one won’t wait until next week. People reports the results of Melanie Brown’s paternity test against Eddie Murphy are in: “He’s the baby’s father, it’s official,” says a source close to Brown. “The baby is undoubtedly, 110 percent his.”

Brown wasn’t surprised at all, the source tells the magazine, but Murphy still hasn’t had contact with 2-month-old Angel Iris Murphy Brown. “He hasn’t seen his daughter,” Brown said. “My people have contacted his people and they just had no response to anything.”

So the resulting paternity suit will no doubt bankroll the Spice Girls world tour, we’re guessing.

Now this is a reunion we can get behind

All our childhood faves are returning! First the Transformers, then Scott Baio and now Salt ‘N’ Pepa!

The rap duo may be appearing in a new show (appropriately titled The Salt ‘N’ Pepa Show) following the pair as they attempt to reconcile their differences and get back in the groove, according to VH1.

It won’t be easy, though (is it ever?), because Sheryl “Salt” James has found God and lives a quiet life after feeling underappreciated by Sandy “Pepa” Denton, who is still a party girl and blames Salt for breaking up the group. Snap!

Work in some Spinderella weighing in on this mess and and our DVRs are set every week.

[Photo: From left, Pepa, Salt and Spinderella in 2005. Getty Images]

Freeman to play his friend Nelson Mandela

Playing the creator of the universe is old hat to Morgan Freeman, so now he’s turning his attention to Nelson Mandela.

Variety says Freeman will play the former South African president in The Human Factor, and indie film based on John Carlin’s upcoming book The Human Factor: Nelson Mandela and the Game That Changed the World. The plot will focus on the 1995 Rugby World Cup, when Mandela was in his first term and used the events to help end mistrust after the end of apartheid.

“I have known Nelson Mandela personally for quite some time, and am continually in awe of his enormous presence in the world,” Freeman said. “The opportunity to portray him in this film is a great honor.” Greater than working with Jim Carrey and Steve Carell? Boy, that’s high praise.

[Photo: Getty Images]

NBC not paying Paris for interview (wink, wink)

NBC News denied that it was bidding a whopping $1-million for first crack at interviewing Paris Hilton after she’s released from jail, Reuter and the AP r