Ladies and gentlemen ... the Zombeatles

And what would Halloween be without zombies?

Britney speaks, says nothing

Leave it to Ryan Seacrest to pull the celebrity interview of the ... week. Britney Spears chimed on Seacrest's radio show Wednesday morning to offer her side of her life. The interview, however, was cut short so Britney could hop in the shower. (Seriously. You can’t make this stuff up.) "It's sad how cruel our world can be," she said. "At the end of the day, you just have to know in your heart that you’re doing the best you can do." She said she’s doing the best she can with her boys, but doesn't know much about their custody case. "That's, like, all in the court, my lawyers know all that stuff." Her lawyers, and readers of The Juice*, that is.

(Photo: AP)

What's that? I didn't notice ...

A second time waster? It must be a holiday!

Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Cavalli spills J.Lo's pregnancy beans!

Nice job, Roberto Cavalli: You just blew J.Lo’s big secret, which none of us had any idea was coming. In an interview with People, Cavalli was asked what he typically designs for his clients. "Well, Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger." So there is is, the cat’s out of the bag. Now will you confirm you’re pregnant, J.Lo?

(Photo: AP)

Beckham: I'm not a Scientologist

 

All you suppressive people out there can put your engrams to rest: David Beckham says Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes haven’t attempted to convert he and his wife, Poshyvicks Beckspice, to Scientology. "We respect their religion," Beckham told Arena magazine. "We respect everything they do and believe in. But they have never turned around to us and said, 'You have to be a part of this,' because that’s not what they’re about. It’s never been about that. ... There’s nothing being shoved down our throats because friends don’t do things like that." So what do they talk about? "We talk about all sorts. What’s happening that week, that day. ... I speak to him at least three or four times a week." He also said he keeps his marriage with Victoria fresh by doing "romantic things every day — write notes, make breakfast for each other. Something will happen every day that is romantic. ... Some people will go 'yuck' at all this. ... We were lucky to have wanted the same things in life — to have kids young and be adventurous."

(Photo: AP)

Tonyromobritneylapdancegate continues!

Tony Romo has finally buckled under pressure and offered his side of Tonyromobritneylapdancegate. When asked about Britney Spears, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback told Entertainment Tonight: "I think (it) sometimes goes with this position. Being the quarterback ... you're at the same place with someone else and people just run with it now. It’s happened a few times now, two or three times where people just say, 'You’re dating whoever.' (It was) Jessica Simpson last year, you know? So it’s just the position I guess in some ways. And you just learn that and shake your head every once in a while and you move on." Hmm. Hey, you know what words didn't appear anywhere in that statement? "It didn’t happen." Tonyromobritneylapdancegate continues!

(Photo: AP)

Was Seymour poisoned?

There must be something in the water on "Dancing With the Stars" -- or at least in the backstage gift basket. First Marie Osmond faints; now Jane Seymour misses Tuesday night’s results show with food poisoning. According to KABC-TV, Seymour had to be taken to the hospital to be checked out. A call to her publicist wasn’t immediately returned. She also missed part of this season earlier this month after her elderly mother passed away.

(Photo: Matthew Brady -- er, Associated Press)

Heather Mills is sad

Heather Mills was not a happy Beatlebabe. "I've had 18 months of absolute abuse," Paul McCartney's ex told GMTV in a lengthy, revealing interview on Wednesday. "They've called me a whore, a gold-digger, a fantasist, a liar, the most unbelievably hurtful things," she said, according to Reuters. While we pause for a moment to let her use of the word "fantasist" seep in, here’s more: "I've stayed quiet for my daughter. We've had death threats, I've been close to suicide. … I've had worse threats than a pedophile or a murder and I’ve done nothing but charity for 20 years." Yes, but what about the money from the divorce settlement, Heather? "I have been offered nothing, okay?" she said. "These figures are made up. 100 million (pounds), 50 million, 20 million. … How do you know if I even want any money? I’m one and a half million in debt in lawyers' fees." Okay, geez, Heather, we get the point: Your life sucks. Sorry we brought it up.

(Photo: Associated Press)

Prison for 'Prison Break' star

A judge sentenced Prison Break actor Lane Garrison to 40 months in state prison Wednesday for the vehicular manslaughter death of Vahagn Setian, 17. TMZ reports an emotional Garrison told the victims’ families he was sickened by his behavior that night, and was quiet after the sentence was handed down. Garrison will get credit for the 91 days he has already served, and with good behavior, could be released in about 20 months.

Happy Halloween ...

... from Tim Curry.

Thanks, Door From Hell.