Things The Juice* is trying to ignore today

• Jennifer Love Hewitt raging against Internet gossips who ripped on her cellulite-riddled fanny over the past week (she was vacationing in Hawaii). The Juice* didn’t show them because we can’t afford them and we don’t steal, but trust us, we’ve seen worse on Pinellas beaches.

• The Spice Girls kicking off their reunion tour. Enough already — you’re all moms now. Well, not Sporty, but that’s no surprise.

• Katherine Heigl complaining in Vanity Fair about how her Grey’s Anatomy character is acting. Oh, so you can buy Izzie Stevens almost killing Denny a year ago, but having an affair is too much?

• Akon pleading not guilty to minor charges for tossing a teen into a crowd, hurting another team. They've got you on tape, man.

• Britney Spears’ birthday over the weekend. Because we're as sick of her as you are.