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Janet Jackson was spied at the Dior 2009 Spring Summer Haute Couture fashion show in Paris on Monday, showing off that ageless grace typical of the Jackson family. Seriously, her face looks like it's made out of Silly Putty. But no matter, because she's rich enough to be in Paris while The Juice* sweats it out here in Tampa Bay. Maybe we should look into some plastic surgery.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Life is tough all over for Hulk Hogan, who lamented on Bubba the Love Sponge's Sirius satellite radio show that his estranged wife's boyfriend is cramping his style. Hogan said Linda's 19-year-old boy toy, Charley Hill, is wreaking havoc on his family simply by being present, making daughter Brooke uncomfortable and even taking the Hulkster's Harley out for a spin, despite it being uninsured and, well, Hulk Hogan's chopper.
He related a story on air about the cops pulling him over recently because Linda said he was violating an injunction she had against him, despite there being no such court order, and that the whole thing was caused by Brooke finding Charley and a friend in her brother's room, using all his stuff, when no one else was home.
"There were these two 19-year-old boys hiding in Nick's bathroom and when Brooke screamed at 'em one guy goes 'Oh I'm dating your mother.' And Brooke goes, 'You're Charley Hill; I went to school with you -- you're younger than me!" Hulk said. "... She called me up panicking, she said she was scared to death. She didn't know if she was going to get beat up or anything like that, you know, or who knows what else, so she called me; I said, well tell 'em you're calling the police on em."
The Hulkster said he turned around on Highway 60 to head back home, and that's when the cops stopped him. Got all that? Neither do we. But Hulk did make it clear he didn't like Hill being in his house.
"I'm not looking for Linda, I'm looking for my daughter," Hogan said. "She could get beat up, raped or anything. I don't know what's going on."
Listen to part of the show here, and savor the delicious trashiness.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Also on the Britney Spears front, court records released Monday show that while she's trying to get more visitation time with those kids, she's looking for a new home in a "less trafficked" place for her mites to enjoy, the AP says. That would mean moving from the $7 million Beverly Hills manse she bought last year and into a place with a bigger back yard and a park nearby.
But that's not the only sign she's getting her life back in order. MTV is apparently considering letting the former teen idol perform at this year's VMAs, the AP reports.
"Everyone deserves a second or third chance, right?" Van Toffler, president of MTV Networks Music Group, told the news service. The scary part? When they asked him if he was joking, he replied "sorta." After all, her crash-and-burn performance of Gimme More last year drew 7.1 million pairs of eyeballs.
Here's the most unbelievable thing The Juice* may have ever written: Pamela Anderson called out Jessica Simpson on an Australian radio show, labeling her a "bitch" and a "whore" because the singer wore a shirt that read "Real Girls Eat Meat." Wait, what?
The outspoken vegetarian and Peta flack (that'd be Pam) told the hosts of the Kyle and Jackie O Show that the shirt didn't mean "actual cows and chickens, but was referring to, you know, men." (See a pic of the shirt in question here, since we can't pay services for the image.) Hey, Pam would know, wouldn't she? Isn't she on her third husband and getting back together with Tommy Lee, that nice young fellow who gave her hepatitis?
Simpson told Ok! after the photo was taken in June that the shirt was a dig at boyfriend Tony Romo's ex Carrie Underwood, who was twice named "World's Sexiest Vegetarian" by PETA. Give the girl a break, all right? She thought Buffalo wings actually came from bison -- you think she can handle a double entendre like this?
[Photo: Getty Images]
While USA Today oozes all over Heidi Montag for some reason in a new interview with her, we can't help but notice The Hills star threatening us with even more of that horrible noise she calls "singing." The reality show star tells the newspaper that she wants to release a Christian album in the future.
"I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God," she says. She also says that she and Spencer Pratt are headed to Africa to "feed children and help build things," since she's so nice. We're assuming she means shopping malls or handbags or something. And it'll all be on camera, of course.
But how religious is she? Well, she compares herself to her savior when asked about a possible sex tape with ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler, if you can believe that.
"I don't even want to talk about that," Montag says. "There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn't matter to me."
No, not when there are poor, Third World children to exploit for personal gain on film.
[Photo: Getty Images]
As if the news lately wasn't bad enough, we're reminded that George Carlin's funeral was Sunday. From the AP:
He was the comedian who actually said the seven words you can never say on television, but close friends and family members remembered George Carlin as a man who, when he was off stage, had only a kind word for everyone he met.
At a private memorial service Sunday attended by some 150 people -- "That was as small as we could keep it," chuckled Carlin's daughter, Kelly Carlin McCall -- her father was memorialized by comedians Bill Maher, Garry Shandling and others as someone who had no enemies, in part because he was nice to everyone he spoke to.
"What everyone said tonight is if you spent time with my father, whether it was five seconds or five hours, he was kind, attentive, very connected to you, compassionate," said Carlin's daughter.
Among those who spoke at the service, which was closed to the public and news media, was Shandling, who told of being a teenage college student when he sought out Carlin nearly 40 years ago.
"My dad read his material and encouraged him to continue on, which was a life-changing moment in Gary's life," McCall told The Associated Press after the service.
Overall, Carlin's daughter said, the service was a happy event, one presided over in part by her father himself, who spoke from a montage of video clips assembled from his 51-year career.
Carlin, who died June 22 of heart failure, recorded nearly two dozen albums, 14 HBO comedy specials, wrote three best-selling books and appeared in numerous movies and TV shows.
"It was a very, very light event, as he wanted it," McCall said of the two-hour service. "He wanted a lot of laughter. I'd say 90 percent of it was laughing and just remembering what he brought to us in his funny way."
Read the rest here.
[Photo: AP]
We're taking the Wayback Machine to the mid-90s, to a simpler time of irrational exuberance and $1 gas, when The Juice* didn't care that compact discs were $18 and mp3s were just starting to enter the collective consciousness. Back then we listened to DJ Shadow's Midnight in a Perfect World, and it was good.
What was Britney Spears up to over the weekend? Why, spending time with chirruns Sean and Jayden, of course. After regaining overnight privileges in court last week, mama Brit got to tuck the tykes in for the first time since she was hospitalized back in January.
But it was all bittersweet, since the were picked up around 10 a.m. Sunday after being dropped off on Saturday.
"Britney was very upset after the kids left," a source tells Us. "She now does not know when she will get them next for an overnight. She complains it could be next week, or it could be three months."
Meanwhile, pops Kevin Federline spent the weekend partying in Miami, the mag says. He may like the sound of Britney getting the kids more often after all.
[Photo: AP]
Nick Carter hung out at Buddha Lounge on Saturday night with some friends for an XFC after party, and took a second to pose for tbt* paparazzo Luis Santana. There was no fighting in the club, though, which is a nice change of pace these days.
[Photo: Luis Santana/tbt*]
While Anne Hathaway's ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri fends off the feds after being arrested for an alleged $6 million con, the question remains, just how did the FBI get all the dirt on him? At least one pal of Raf's thinks Anne was in on it.
"It makes sense," the friend told the New York Daily News. "She's referred to as his former girlfriend in the indictment even though her spokesman never confirmed they broke up." BEcause every breakup must be revealed via publicist these days, right?
Anywho, this theory is based on how Hathaway ditched the Follieri scene just before he was arrested for reportedly posing as a Vatican agent to bilk gullible fools out of the cash. He's facing 20 years in the cooler for wire fraud and money laundering charges.
"I think that in return for her cooperation, the feds held off on arresting Follieri until she was out of the country," the friend said. That, or she realized she was dating a guy who was stealing money by pretending to work for the Vatican.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Whether or not Amy Winehouse has emphysema, she's healthy enough to squab with people at one of her concerts -- namely, one of the fans.
The British Britney scuffled with a reveler at the Glastonbury music festival on Saturday, the AP reports. After taking the stage Saturday, she apparently jumped into the pit and started swinging after a fan tried to grab her, witnesses are saying.
She was still good to sing for about an hour after that, though, so it's good to see all her ailments have yet to really sink her.
Now with video!
[Photo: Getty Images]
That sex tape "featuring" Verne "Mini Me" Troyer won't be getting to your video shelf anytime soon: A federal judge has granted a temporary restraining order requested by Troyer's lawyers to prevent distribution of the tape to sickos who actually want to see such a thing.
"Mr. Troyer is extremely distraught by the recent exploitation of his private life," Troyer's publicist, Melissa Bergera, told the AP. The diminutive Casanova has sued TMZ, which has since removed clips of the tape, and One Night in Paris mastermind Kevin Blatt over the whole deal. He's seeking $20 million in damages in addition to a permanent injunction against showing the video.
Meanwhile, Splash News caught up with the now-22-year-old wannabe model caught up in the mess.
"Do I look like I should be smiling about this?" Ranae Shrider told curious paparazzi in L.A., meaning the release of the tape, not the actual shooting of the tape. She tells Splash News the tape was stolen from the pair's apartment, as Troyer has said, and admits to still living with the 2-foot, 8-inch actor. Somehow we're doubting the two are stil an item, though.
[Photo: Screen grab viz TMZ]
When Steven Tyler went into rehab last month to recover from what said was a foot ailment, we all knew he was lying. Now the AP confirms the 60(!)-year-old Aerosmith frontman was fibbing. He was actually fighting an addiction to pain meds and sleeping pills.
"To have your feet done, to have your leg done, you have to be on narcotics. You have to be on sleep aids at night," he told the AP. "I just put the brakes on and checked into detox and just pulled the plug on all of it."
Does that count as falling off the wagon? He's been sober since 1986, and technically he was on medication that was prescribed from the surgery. Oh well, at least he's clean now, right?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Speaking of reality shows, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne are on their way back to the tube with a weekly variety show, TV Week reports.
All four major networks are interested in the project, which is supported by American Idol producer FremantleMedia North America. Kelly and Jack will be on the show somehow, but details are few and far between as deals are being formed.
FremantleMedia reportedly had the in with Sharon thanks to her judging stint on America’s Got Talent, so hopefully they can make a show that will further track Ozzy’s devolution into a sedentary chatterbox, thanks to all those drugs he’s done.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Reality shows got you down? See if you can’t find a way to watch Britain’s Missing Top Model, a new U.K. show that features models with disabilities from around the world (yes, including the States).
The eight contestants include six women without limbs, some who are partially paralyzed and one who is deaf, the New York Daily News reports.
“I went into this program thinking it was an adventure, rather than a path to a new career,” wheelchair-utilizing contestant Jessica Kellgren-Hayes says of the show, which debuts in July. “Although I don’t want any of my dreams to be unattainable, I’m not sure if Britain is ready for a model with a disability.”
The winner will have a photo spread in British Marie Claire. Don’t be surprised to see her appear on the U.S. version of the show, whenever they get around to doing that. Because you just know they will.
[Photo: Diabled contestants Sophie, Debbie, Kelly, Jessica, Kellie and Rebecca. BBC]
Since remakes and superheroes are the poisons of choice in Hollywood today, Robert Rodriguez has decided to bring Red Sonja back to the silver screen.
USA Today reports Rodriguez will try and get his girlfriend, Rose McGowan, to play the fire-haired hellraiser, which would be a long way from the casting of Brigitte Nielsen in the awful 1985 version.
“When they first came to me with it, I thought it was funny,” says the actress, 34. “I do have a body made for sitting on a veranda with mint juleps and a parasol. I don’t know why I always have to save the planet.”
Rodriguez and McGowan both say they haven’t seen the original, and don’t plan to watch it. They plan to cull the origin from the comics and the pulp novels of Robert E. Howard, with Rodriguez associate Douglas Aarniokoski as director. It can’t be much worse than Brigitte’s take on the material.
[Photo: Getty Images]
The Juice* and Quentin Tarantino are both sad to hear that Uma Thurman is off the market again. The 38-year-old actress is now engaged to financier boyfriend Arpad Busson, the New York Daily News reports. Busson is the guy who has two kids with Elle Macpherson, you'll recall. It must be the size of his ... bank account.
Or the size of the rock he gave Uma. The Daily News quotes a source who says he gave her an engagement ring so big "she can't fit it through the sleeve of her coat." How's she supposed to swing samurai swords with that?
"It's a done deal," a family friend said, talking about Uma flashing the finger candy at a benefit Thursday at Elton John's British manor. "They're already planning a wedding."
It's not a bad catch for Uma, who broke up with hotel mogul Andre Balazs last year after a three-year stint. This will be her third marriage after Gary Oldman and Ethan Hawke, with whom she has two kids. Apaprently she and Busson bonded over custody issues.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Here's a trailer for John Woo's upcoming The Battle of Red Cliff, which is supposed to be the most expensive historical epic ever made in China or something, and focuses on that nation's Three Kingdoms period, which I've only ever experienced by playing the Dynasty Warriors series on the PS2. The movie looks a lot like that game, too. Where's Cao Cao's power meter?
In a storyline straight out of Desperate Housewives (no, really -- remember the Scavos?), Lindsay Lohan's dad Michael has told Ok! that he secretly fathered an illegitimate daughter with another woman while separated, but still married to, wife Dina. Oh no he di'n't!
"Years later (the woman) contacted me, convincing me that I was the only person she was with and that she had my child," Michael told Ok!. He went on to show the mag letters in which he said the secret spawn "is beginning to look a lot like Linds, with a mix of (her younger brother) Cody, believe it or not." Does the new kid have a five-minute AA chip and everything?
While he was still in Collins Correctional Facility, the mag says, Michael also sent a pic of himself to the kid and signed the letter, "Love Daddy." Awww, just what every bastard child wants -- a photo of dad from prison!
Actually, the next step would be for pops to visit the girl, who turned 13 on June 12, because he's never seen her or sent any child support.
"It's time for Michael to take responsibility," the girl's mama tells the glossy. If he took responsibility for anything, he wouldn't be in this position to begin with.
[Photo: Getty Images]
We've been wondering this for years ...
We've said Will Smith was flirting with Scientology before, but Life & Style reports that the Fresh Prince was still up to his purported preachiness on the set of his upcoming flick, Hancock. Convenient that this comes out just as it's getting ready to open, yes?
"He gave out Scientology-like pamphlets at the end of the shoot," says writer Andrew Morton, the guy who was getting sued by Tom Cruise for writing an unauthorized biography about him last year. He's an authority, you know. "It's also been said that he and Jada are homeschooling their children in Scientology methods."
That probably comes from rumors that the couple are financing the New Village Academy in Calabasas, Calif., this fall. The school is supposed to have Scientology ties, but we don't go there, so we don't know. We do know the academy told the L.A. Times it's a nonreligious school, though.
The summation from Morton: “So between that, the pamphlets, the school in Calabasas, and his close friendship with Tom, it seems all the evidence leads one to conclude that he is a part of this organization.”
And by that logic, the fact that The Juice* owns a Tampa Bay Rays cap, attends games, watches them on TV and is a big Akinori Iwamura fan, means we'll be playing shortstop next week. It's true!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Remember how we were telling you about Verne "Mini Me" Troyer's sex tape? Well, the woman in said photoplay is (rightfully) furious about the TMZ report, Splash News says.
"Do I look like I should be smiling about this?" 22-year-old Ranae Shrider asked curious paparazzi in L.A., meaning the release of the tape, not the actual shooting of the tape. She says the tape was stolen from the pair's apartment, and has been put on the market illegally.
But the good news is, she admits to still living with the 2-foot, 8-inch actor, although she's unsure if she'll get any money from the deal to pursue her modeling career. That sure sounds like she's upset about starring in perhaps the most infamous sex tape since a certain member of the Hilton clan employed night vision.
Furthermore, E! ONline says the diminutive Casanova has sued TMZ and One Night in Paris mastermind Kevin Blatt over the whole deal. He's seeking $20 million in damages and an injunction against showing the video. That's probably a lot more than he'd get if the tape actually sold.
[Screen grab via TMZ]
Wesley Snipes' lawyers are asking a Florida judge to let the actor leave the country while they appeal his three federal tax convictions, the AP reports. Sure, what's the harm in that?
Snipes wants to work in London and Bangkok for the films Gallowwalker and Chasing the Dragon, according to documents filed in federal court. That's a pretty steep privilege for someone who hasn't filed a tax return since 1998.
Post-production editing of Gallowwalker is set to begin July 14th, and filming of Chasing the Dragon will start in September. The manhunt for Snipes would likely start in November.
[Photo: Getty Images]
A new season of American Idol is as reliable as higher gas prices these days, so let us provide the dates and locations for auditions for you, lest you go running around town singing at the top of your lungs hoping Simon Cowell will hear you.
Anyone ages 16 to 28 as of July 15 can head to San Francisco on July 17, or any of seven other locales: Louisville, Ky.; Phoenix, Ariz.; Salt Lake City, Utah; Kansas City, Mo.; Jacksonville; East Rutherford, N.J.; and San Juan, Puerto Rico. The Jacksonville date, the closest to the Tampa Bay area, will be at Veterans Memorial Arena on Wednesday, Aug. 13.
Additional information is available at American Idol's Web site, but really, if you're traveling further than Jacksonville to audition, we suggest professional help.
Since it's apparent we have so many Mark Wahlberg fans who read The Juice*, we're going to spoil the big surprise and tell you that the actor is planning to marry his babies' mama, Rhea Durham. Sorry, you're not invited.
“They are planning to spring the wedding on most of their pals,” an unnamed source tells In Touch. “They’re going to invite people over for a pool party and surprise them with the wedding. ... No one is going to know until the last possible moment. It could happen in a few days or months from now.”
That's pretty vague, especially considering he gave her a fat rock back in 2003 when daughter Ella was born (Rhea got nothing when son Michael was born two years ago), but there has yet to be an engagement announcement. Maybe they're waiting for their next son to be born in September. They've been dating since 2001, so what's the rush, right?
[Photo: Getty Images]
Nicole Richie is looking to go the Britney Spears route and get some positive buzz by appearing on a sitcom. The 26-year-old new mom will guest star on NBC's Chuck, playing the high school nemesis of Yvonne Strahovski's CIA agent Sarah Walker.
"Nicole auditioned for the part and was very funny," executive producer Josh Schwartz said. "This role is a great opportunity for her to show off her comedic skills and be diabolically evil and kick some butt. It's going to be really fun."
It's just more for her resume of semi-stardom, which includes her stint on The Simple Life and spots on American Dreams and 8 Simple Rules. Next thing you know, she might be a legitimate celebrity!
[Photo: AP]
We all know it ... it's time to tell him. Mind a little bit of NSFWness, just like the internet.
• TMZ has been showing footage from a sex tape made by “Mini Me” Verne Troyer and his girlfriend, who is not a little person. Are you grossed out yet?
• Stephen Colbert used his Comedy Central show to scold the glamorization of “face violence” after the comedian somehow bruised and scarred his face over the weekend. Was he fighting with Jon Stewart again?
• And speaking of TMZ, they also report that Dr. Jan Adams, the plastic surgeon who worked on Kanye West’s mom before she died, has been arrested for DUI for the third time since 2003. This stuff writes itself, people.
Here's a rarity in Celebrityville -- no, not that Bill Murray was getting divorced, but that the whole proceeding is over just a month after being filed. He and ex-wife Jennifer have reached an agreement that ends the tiff just as it was getting juicy, TMZ says.
Court documents from Charleston County, S.C., dated June 13 show the pair's petition has been granted. Murray must pay child support, while Jennifer gets custody of their four children and ownership of their two houses.
Jennifer had accused Bill of being an abusive drunk who often abandoned them, while more recently police reports turned up that showed Jennifer was the drunk, who had left their kids to fend for themselves at least once. This seemed to move pretty fast, but with stories like that, there were probably plenty of blows behind the scenes.
Download bill_murray_divorce_papers.pdf
[Photo: Getty Images]
Just as we were reeling from yesterday's news that Brooke Hogan thought April pics of daddy Hulk rubbing suntan lotion on her nether regions were no big deal, Fox News' Pop Tarts reports the Hulkster showed up to watch her photo shoot for Maxim that same month.
The July ish of the mag features Brooke in a bikini top and unzipped jeans, which was supervised by Hulk, who showed up on set during the shoot back in April. A source tells Fox News that the former wrestler's appearance was a surprise, and that he was there to make sure his 20-year-old daughter didn't show too much. He would be the judge, wouldn't he? Maybe Billy Ray Cyrus should take note -- those two could form a club!
[Photo: Maxim]
There's been a lot of scuttlebutt that Queen of Pop Madonna has been thinking about divorcing director hubby Guy Ritchie, but until now it's been mostly speculation. Now the Times of London is saying Madge has enlisted divorce lawyer Fiona Shackleton for legal advice. You know Fiona -- she's the one who helped Paul McCartney keep Heather Mills' settlement to a paltry $48 million or so.
Madonna's people wouldn't confirm the report, but a source tells the Times that this is the second lawyer the singer has gone to for information. Ritchie already has been in touch with another firm as well, the paper says. And the big issue likely to be underdiscussion? The pair are believed to not have signed a pre-nuptial agreement. That likely would get any divorce lawyer's attention.
[Photo: Getty Images]
An Idaho judge has tossed a second arbitration claim brought by Tom Hanks against a construction contractor that accused the builder of shoddy workmanship.
Judge Robert J. Elgee said Hanks and wife Rita Wilson couldn't sue Storey Construction again over alleged new construction defects because the actor had already lost a 2004 arbitration case that ruled in favor of the company and awarded it $1.85 million in unpaid construction costs. Hanks and Wilson had been complaining about work done at their compund north of Ketchum, which includes their home and three guest cottages.
"The judge essentially ruled that they had their chance in the prior arbitration," Storey attorney Miles Stanislaw told the Idaho Mountain Express. "So unlike the movies where you get to do it over again, in Blaine County you don't get a do-over if you don't like the results the first time around."
Maybe Tom and Rita can focus on doing a little charity work from now on, like their friends Ben and Brangelina are doing.
[Photo: AP]
With all his time not working, Ben Affleck has taken a cue from Brangelina and decided to visit a few people less fortunate than he and wife Jennifer Garner. His recent travels to the Congo, to which he traveled three timed in the past year to learn about the region, will be chronicled at 11:30 p.m. Thursday on ABC's Nightline.
"It's fairly clear that in the modern age that there is a currency to celebrity, or celebrity is a currency, really," Affleck told the AP on Wednesday. "I've discovered that you can spend it in a lot of ways, or you can squander it. You can be taxed, as well. I really started thinking long and hard about how to use that currency as long as I had it."
Affleck plans to use that currency to detail how people have been affected by years of war and subsequent poverty and hunger.
"I want to try to bring people along to learn and if they might not tune into this unless there was some celebrity involved in it, either because they're interested in the celebrity or because they want to see the celebrity kind of make a fool of himself, then so be it." That's usually a tough choice, but we're watching either way.
[Photo: AP]
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt once again prove they're so much better than you, donating $1 million for educational aid to kids affected by the Iraq War, both in Iraq and the U.S., Reuters reports.
Their Jolie-Pitt Foundation ponied up $500k to three groups in Iraq that will help about 5,700 kids with books and school supplies, the Education Partnership for Children of Conflict said. The Armed Services YMCA Operation Hero Program also gets a half-mil for tutors and counseling for 2,500 children who have a military parent who was killed in the war.
The Juice* is so conflicted about Brangelina; We want to rip on them for doing things like buying French chateaus and $300,000 coffee tables, but then they go and use their powers for good, not evil. It's like, they're responsible or something!
[Photo: Getty Images]
In case you missed it (and if you're a typical Bonnaroo attended, it's entirely possible you did), Kanye West is in a snit over his treatment at the music festival. He lashed out at fans, the organizers and the technicians at Bonnaroo, posting an ALL CAPS RANT on his blog at KanyeUniverseCity.com.
"This Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life," he wrote. "This is the most offended I've ever been ... this is the maddest I ever will be. I'm typing so f---ing hard I might break my f---ing Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want.... arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of.... BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL!"
That's right folks, he's key-pounding mad! West's performance at the Tennessee festival was scheduled for 2:45 a.m. in the early morning of June 15, the AP says. West didn't take the stage until 4:25 a.m., angering much of the crowd who had stayed up late. Ever-patient, they tossed glow sticks and beer onstage and chanted "Kanye sucks."
West says the delay was caused by problems putting up the stage set, which included a spacey landscape and a giant video screen, with lots of glow-in-the-dark effects. He says by the time everything was ready, a bad show was all but inevitable.
"WE WERE OBVIOUSLY DEALING WITH F---ING IDIOTS WHO DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO REALLY PUT ON THIS SHOW PROPERLY," he ranted. "... MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN'T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR
LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That's a lot of exclamation points.
But in the end, he apologizes to the fans about the quality of the show:
"IT BROKE MY HEART THAT I COULDN'T GIVE THESE FANS STRONGER IN IT'S GREATEST FORM... BY THE TIME I GOT TO STRONGER IT WAS DAYTIME AND IT BROKE MY HEART. I'M SORRY TO EVERYONE THAT I DIDN'T HAVE THE ABILITY 2 GIVE THE PERFORMANCE I WANTED TO."
Now you'll just have to shell out $100 to see it at another one of his tour dates.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Will someone female who knows please write to The Juice* and explain John Mayer to us? The guy pulls some of the best tail in celebritydom (see Cameron Diaz, Jessica Simpson, et al), but dumping Friday Night Lights' Minka Kelly for Jennifer Aniston was truly baffling.
What is it the ladies see in him? Maybe it's his sensitivity. The New York Post's Page Six says Mayer was nice enough to call Kelly and let her know it wasn't her, it was him.
"Minka received a call from John prior to the story breaking about his relationship with Jennifer," A source said. "He apologized to Minka, 'Sorry, but I'm really in love.' "
That's especially strange because the Post's source also says that "during his relationship with her, John mentioned, 'I don't really get this Jennifer Aniston thing.' " He's certainly getting the Jennifer Aniston thing now.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Looks like fun, though.
The pub manager whose face was broken by Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil has been found not guilty of trying to pervert the course of justice by a British jury, the AP reports.
James KIng had been accused of taking a bribe to drop assault charges against Blake, who has admitted breaking King's cheekbone in a 2006 barroom brawl and then offering him $400,000 to shut up over it. King had claimed he was threatened into keeping quiet, not bribed.
This is all great news for Amy Winehouse, who has some sort of lung issue that may or may not be emphysema, depending on whom you ask. Her husband will be sentenced next month, and this can't possibly look good. Blake may or may not be going up the river for a long time over this. Who will smoke crack with Wino then?
[Photo: Getty Images]
The Juice* continues to mourn George Carlin's untimely passing, since we have obviously been influenced by his culture-bashing ways, but we find it hilarious that he manages to stir things up even in death.
The Westboro Baptist Church -- the highly-opinionated activist group that is best known not for its piousness but rather for being the jackholes that demonstrate the funerals of American soldiers with signs like "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for IEDs" -- plans to picket Carlin's funeral, according to a faxed press release that landed in our basket here this morning.
"George Carlin is in Hell. Deal with it," the release reads. "You will soon join him. America is Doomed. We will picket George Carlin's funeral. Amen."
The Kansas-based group calls Carlin a "filthy blasphemer, obscene potty-mouth skeptic, agnostic, and profane atheist'" who "made lots of money making fun of God." That's why we loved him!
The Church, which bills itself as touting "religious opinion and Bible commentary on current events" has been labeled a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. We would have never guessed.
Carlin will apparently be joined in hell by "lying propagandist" Keith Olbermann and "fellow filth-monger" Jerry Seinfeld. And The Juice*, we suspect.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Because you just can't get enough Brooke Hogan, we have to tell you how the 20-year-old spilled to Us that she doesn't think those gross pics of her dad Hulk putting suntan lotion on her derierre are any big deal. Remember those pics? Of papa smearing lotion on her bum in April? Yeah, we tried to forget, too.
"I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," Brooke told the mag. "He used to change my diaper!"
The Juice* can't show you those photos, thanks to overblown licensing fees from greedy paparazzi services, but feel free to follow the source link to see one. Frankly, we're doing you a favor by not exposing you to such psychological damage again. And Brooke's metaphor of calling herself an old car certainly backfires in this case -- we felt like calling child protective services when we saw those pics.
[Photo: Getty Images]
In May, TMZ says, Linda Bollea called 911 to report that her husband, Hulk Hogan, had driven up to her house and parked outside, which violated a restraining order. Two problems: (1) there never was a restraining order, and (2) Linda made the call while following Hulk up the road in her own car. An exasperated 911 operator gently told Linda to stop following him and go back home, and Clearwater police later noted that they couldn’t figure out where she got the restraining order idea. After TMZ posted copies of the 911 tape and police report on Monday afternoon, Brooke Hogan struck back at her mom about Hulk’s alleged stalking: “I know for a fact that the accusations made against my father are completely false,” she told the New York Daily News. “I just wish she would think of the family first.”
Photo: AP
Remember how Anne Hathaway broke up with her longtime Italian boyfriend Raffaello Follieri a few weeks ago? 
Well, Raffy’s just been arrested on federal wire fraud, conspiracy and money laundering charges. The Associated Press says Follieri is accused of lying to an investor, making the staggering claim that he had been appointed chief financial offer of the Vatican. Nevermind the criminal charges here — where do you even get the cojones to make a claim like that? Apparently, Follieri used this fake Vatican connection to buy properties owned by the Catholic Church in the U.S. at a reduced rate — then spent the profits on expensive clothes, food, dog-walking services and other expenses. Follieri’s lawyer, Flora Edwards, told the AP: “It’s a little premature at this time. I am hopeful we will be able to resolve everything.” Pope Benedict XVI has yet to comment on Follieri, the charges, or what he thought of Get Smart.
Photo: AP
Add Mr. Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream to The Juice*’s reading list. Steven Watts’ upcoming authorized biography of Hugh Hefner goes into great detail about Hef’s early sex life, such as the time he hooked up with a dude and the time he engaged in an incestuous foursome with his brother and sister-in-law.
Wait, what?
Page Six says Hef and his first wife, Millie, initiated a little same-bed, side-by-side action with friend and Playboy co-founder Eldon Sellers and his wife. They never actually swapped partners, but Hef later proposed the idea to his brother Keith and Keith’s wife Rae, who actually took him up on the idea.
Also of note: “Hefner’s thirst for sexual experience became so strong that he even had a one-time homosexual experience,” Watts writes. “One evening in downtown Chicago he was propositioned and, according to Sellers, he 'thought, what the hell. Found it an interesting experience. As far as I know, the guy just gave him [oral sex]’.” Hefner’s take on the book: “This is the most authoritative book ever written about me. ... It’s all essentially true.”
(Photo: AP)
Ice-T and Soulja Boy are apparently feuding. Now, before you declare this the most one-sided fight since the Harlem Globetrotters schooled those basketball robots on Gilligan’s Island (know your history, kids), here’s the backstory: Ice-T dropped a half-hearted rant on a mixtape claiming that Soulja “single-handedly killed hip-hop,” and telling him to “eat a d---.” (Language, obviously, NSFW)
The clip found its way to YouTube (see above), which happens to be the one place where Mr. Crank That feels most at home, so he responded with an inspired 7-minute slam about Ice-T’s age, hitting up the Cop Killer’s Wikipedia page to glean info on his real name, birth date and ... did we mention how old he is? “You were born before the Internet was created. How the f--- did you even find me?” ... “You hit me, your f---ing arm’s gonna break. I’ll let you fight my grandaddy, dog. That n----- will knock your ass out.” (Language NSFW)
Ice retaliated with another YouTube video, calling Soulja’s music “garbage” and saying: “When you go against me, you go against the whole West Coast, you go against all the OG’s, and trust me, there will be ramifications — not from me, but from hip-hop. You done f---ed up, lil’ homey.” He throws in this gem: “Watch the YouTubes ... this s--- is gonna go down.” Sigh. "The YouTubes?" (Language ... do we even need to say it?)
Gawker notes that neither party comes out of this squabble looking particularly fresh 'n’ clean ... but then wouldn’t you know, it, here comes everyone’s favorite know-it-all, Kanye West, to step in and declare a winner. “Soulja boy is fresh ass hell and is actually the true meaning of what hip hop is sposed to be,” West wrote on his blog. “He came from the hood, made his own beats, made up a new saying, new sound and a new dance with one song. He had all of America rapping this summer. If that ain’t Hip Hop then what is?”
Doesn’t really matter: No matter what Kanye says, Ice-T will still straight-up murder Soulja. For reals.
