George Lucas: No time for 'Indiana Jones 5'
Is George Lucas prepping for another Indiana Jones movie? According to E! News, not anytime soon. Despite speculation that Shia LaBeouf might take over the franchise, Lucas insists the research and time involved in making a decent sequel make it unlikely we'll see Indiana Jones 5 anytime soon. "That sits on the shelf there as one of 50 projects that I have to deal with," he said. "It's Very hard to come up with stories for that thing ... (A plot is) really impossible, because it has to be real. It has to be something that actually happens, it has to be something people know about, and it has to be supernatural."
Wow, George Lucas has 50 projects on his shelf? We now know Indy 5 is up there, but what else? Thankfully The Juice* has obtained this exclusive list of Lucas's other 49 unfinished projects:
Star Wars: Episode VII: Cloud City Rockers
Star Wars: Episode VIII: The Resurrection Of Greedo
Star Wars: Episode IX: One Hand Luke
Star Wars: Episode X: Jabba Gets Jiggy
Star Wars: Episode XI: Just Shut Up And Take It, You Stupid Nerds
Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope: Collector’s Edition: More F---ing Lasers
Star Wars, But With A New Six-Second Snippet Of A New Digital Character; Let’s Call Him, Oh, Lieutentant Tulailo
Star Wars, But With A New Six-Second Snippet Of A New Digital Character; Let’s Call Him, Oh, Lieutentant Tulailo: Director’s Cut
Indiana Jones and the Nightmare at the Cineplex
Indiana Jones and the Lost Eight Dollars
Indiana Jones and the Abandoned Pretense of a Plot
Indiana Jones and the Destruction of Childhood Memories
Indiana Jones and the Seriously, I Will Hold A Grudge Against George Lucas For The Rest Of My Life Because Of That Movie
Indiana Jones and the Missing Pinkie of Shia
The Shia LaBeouf Experience, Featuring Indiana Jones
The Clone Wars: People Will Watch This?
Lucasfilm Ltd. Logo: The Movie
The Neckbeard Chronicles
Alien (remake)
Aliens (remake)
Alien vs. Predator (remake)
Alien vs. Jar Jar
Alien vs. Alien
Alien Graffiti
Bob & Carol & Ted & Aliens
...And Justice For Aliens
Willow, But With Aliens
Star Wars, But With Greasers
Lucasfilm Ltd. Logo: The Movie 2: Also, There Are Aliens In It
I’m Telling You, If There’s One Thing People Are Clamoring For More Of In Today’s Society, It’s Aliens
The Dark Knight: I Bought The Rights To It, And Digitally Inserted Some Aliens
Yet Another Star Wars DVD Set: The Movie
Ewok The Line
THX: 1138: TXH In Tha Hood
The Elderly Indiana Jones Chronicles
Padawan School Musical
Robot Chicken: I Should Get A Cut Of That
Family Guy, Too
Hayden Christensen’s Rat-Tail: The IMAX Experience
My Dinner With Salacious Crumb
Marcus Brody, PI
The Devil Wears Plaid Buttondowns
Indiana Jones and the Early Bird Special
C3P0’s Cereal: Can We Still Make Money Off It?
Sy Snoodles: Live At Red Rocks
Industrial Light & Mindfreaking
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins 2
Frank Darabont Made The Shawshank Redemption, And You’re Telling Us He Couldn’t Have Written A More Believable Script For Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull? Really? That’s What You’re Telling Us? That’s The Story You’re Sticking With? Fine, Just Checking
Every Movie I Just Listed, But With An Additional 'Aliens’ In The Title
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That's the list ... but gee, we can't help feeling we're leaving some titles out. Any Star Wars or Indiana Jones fans out there want to help us out in the comments?



Make this your daily (heck, hourly) stop for a fresh serving of pop smarts and cool things from around Tampa Bay and the nation. Compiled by tbt* jack-of-all-trades Joshua Gillin and his merry band of rogue journalists, it pokes fun at ridiculous celebrity worship, collects entertainment tidbits and features fun links to amuse and amaze you and your friends.

what? No Star Wars Holiday Special: Special Edition? Howard the Duck 2? Lucas has gotten lazy.
Posted by: Bill | August 09, 2008 at 06:16 PM
That is hilarious! Great list! The only things I could ad would be: "Starwars Ep. IV: in 7-D" and "Starwars Ep. IV in 7-D Directors Cut" or to go along with the Vs. franchise.."Lucas Vs. the script-writer" and "Lucas Vs. The scriptwriter 2: Secret of the Ooz." The tagline is "Whoever wins, we all loose!"
What?! Taken?!
Posted by: Kevin | August 08, 2008 at 01:35 PM