Jennifer Aniston will star in episode of 30 Rock

Since that movie career just isn't working out -- how does she keep getting leading roles? -- Jennifer Aniston will be getting a guest spot on NBC's 30 Rock, E! Online reports. Playing a sassy waitress or fashion-industry expert, no doubt.

Actually, the network is staying tight-lipped about this one: "She is shooting now," a source says. "We are not giving out any specifics on her character."

Boy, we know you can't wait to see how this one turned out. Seriously, the career bounce David Schwimmer got when he was on is immeasurable. It almost makes us forget how the last thing we saw him in before that was as an incompetent officer on Band of Brothers. Almost.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Michael Phelps will be dating Carrie Underwood

The nation just can't enough of Michael Phelps, who, besides getting a parade in his honor today at Disney World, has been rumored to be planning a liaison with former American Idol Carrie Underwood. The National Enquirer says they've been texting each other since the Olympics and are planning a "quiet first date" in Nashville.

His one great fear about meeting the singer? “I’m not so sure you’d want to see me eat! It might not make a great first impression,” the swimmer told her. Since when is having a reputation for eating  three fried-egg sandwiches (with lettuce, tomato, cheese, fried onions and mayo), an omelet, a bowl of grits, french toast with powdered sugar and three chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast embarrassing?

[Photo: AP]

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David Duchovny in rehab for sex addiction

David Duchovny may have been using a little too much Method acting for his Showtime series Californication, in which he plays a sex-obsessed writer who can't keep a stable relationship. The 48-year-old actor has checked into rehab for sex addiction, the AP reports.

Following up a report first posted on People.com, Duchovny released a statement that said he checked in voluntarily, and added, "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family." Because we're pretty sure Tea Leoni isn't going to want to talk about what's going on.

Duchovny's lawyer and publicist both declined further comment, but Showtime was quick to say in a statement, "All of us at Showtime wish David and his family the best during this very private time."

Meanwhile, Californication is entering its second season, which begins on Sept. 28. Who knew it became a reality show?

[Photo: AP]

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Don't all Juice*heads want a Piece of Meat?

This is equal parts hilarious and disturbing, especially if you aren't a Britney Spears fan or a vegetarian. Word of warning, this isn't the safest video to be watching in your cubicle. But keep an eye out for an appearance by James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Michael Phelps is coming to Walt Disney World

Keep your eyes peeled if you're headed to Walt Disney World on Friday -- you might get caught up in the swim of things. The theme park is planning to host a special America's Homecoming Parade for Michael Phelps, this swimmer guy you may have heard about from late-night TV the last couple weeks.

Magic Kingdon guests will be able to celebrate the Olympic swimmer's 43 gold medals with lots of flag-waving and confetti throwing around 10:30 a.m. Both Walt Disney World and Disneyland did something similar for his return from Athens in 2004, so imagine how big this hoedown will be.

The good news: admission to the park is regular price for the event. The bad news: You'll have to fight every tbt* staffer with two X chromosomes to get in.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Lindsay Lohan starts MySpace fight with dad

We don't know if you've been keeping up on your MySpace fighting lately, but both Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been bitch-slapping dad Michael on their celeblogs since he said Sam was glomming onto LiLo for the attention. Takes one to know one, we always say. Anyway, LiLo's latest volley in this cry for help/PR stunt blog war calls Michael out in front of e'rybody. Ooooooh.

Lindsay writes: "If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that's what i have believed my whole life- don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going... If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right!"

She goes on to say -- right before noting that she's listening to her own album, Confessions of a Broken Heart -- that "Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful. This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item."

That's not really fair; Page Six gets things right every once in awhile. We're just glad to see Blohan is doing what she can to minimize the embarrassment of fighting family in public. There's more to this story, but frankly, we just can't keep our lunch down and type it at the same time.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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O.J. Simpson's daughter beats him up in brawl

We've had no idea what's been going on with O.J. Simpson since he was charged with that armed robbery in Vegas, but the New York Daily News says his oldest daughter, Arnelle, just beat him silly at his Miami home on Sunday in a fight over his girlfriend, Christie Prody. You know, the one he abandoned at the airport, and the one who got hit by a car in May.

"Arnelle had a fight with Christie over Christie's behavior. That's what started the whole thing," a source told the Daily News. "Christie has some problems with drinking, and Arnelle got mad. O.J. said 'Don't talk to her like that,' and Arnelle pushed him."

More than that, perhaps, since the National Enquirer said he fell over and ended up with a cut on the back of his head and bleeding from the mouth. The rag says 39-year-old Arnelle was mad at dad for giving 32-year-old Prody money while Arnelle's mom, Marguerite Whitley has to work at Wal-Mart. She was nice enough to call 911 for her dad, though, and everything seems to be back to abnormal.

[Photo: Arnelle and Christie in court last year. Getty Images]

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Katy Perry plasters her breasts for charity

Never let it be said Katy Perry doesn't do her part for good causes. The pop star had a plaster mold of her breasts made for Keep-A-Breast.org, a cancer awareness organization that makes the forms of charitable chests and then auctions them off.

A bust of her 32Ds will be painted by Gym Class Heroes member (and boyfriend) Travis McCoy, she says on her video tour diary (watch above), shot by pal Markus Molinari.

"Educate yourself and also, do something for someone else by making this the highest bidded breast mold ever," she wheedles. Yes, we know it was on her MySpace blog last week, but dude! Katy Perry covered in plaster!

Hilary Duff's father going to jail for 10 days

Hayden Panatierre isn't the only one who has a dad who can get arrested. Hilary Duff's pop Bob Duff has been ordered to spend 10 days in jail for contempt of court in Texas, the AP reports.

Judge Thomas Stanbury had Bob taken into custody in a Houston court Wednesday after determining Duff had violated an injunction against selling assets without court approval. He's in the middle of a nasty divorce with wife Susan, and sold off some stocks worth a mere $367, 537 last month. Stanbury ordered Bob Duff must pay that amount into a court repository. Bob's lawyer said he would appeal.

As far as Hilary is concerned, the judge ordered Bob should pay Susan $12,500 for her 21st birthday party on Sept. 28. That's a lot of cookies 'n' creme. And that's only half of the $25,000 Susan said she wanted to buy Hilary a present and throw her a party. How dare she! That's how much Haylie's party should cost; Hilary's should be at least twice that.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Miley Cyrus depleted by 2013, scientists say

We don't dip into the Oninon News Network too terribly often, but this story has BREAKING NEWS written all over it.