Jennifer Aniston will star in episode of 30 Rock

Since that movie career just isn't working out -- how does she keep getting leading roles? -- Jennifer Aniston will be getting a guest spot on NBC's 30 Rock, E! Online reports. Playing a sassy waitress or fashion-industry expert, no doubt.

Actually, the network is staying tight-lipped about this one: "She is shooting now," a source says. "We are not giving out any specifics on her character."

Boy, we know you can't wait to see how this one turned out. Seriously, the career bounce David Schwimmer got when he was on is immeasurable. It almost makes us forget how the last thing we saw him in before that was as an incompetent officer on Band of Brothers. Almost.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Michael Phelps will be dating Carrie Underwood

The nation just can't enough of Michael Phelps, who, besides getting a parade in his honor today at Disney World, has been rumored to be planning a liaison with former American Idol Carrie Underwood. The National Enquirer says they've been texting each other since the Olympics and are planning a "quiet first date" in Nashville.

His one great fear about meeting the singer? “I’m not so sure you’d want to see me eat! It might not make a great first impression,” the swimmer told her. Since when is having a reputation for eating  three fried-egg sandwiches (with lettuce, tomato, cheese, fried onions and mayo), an omelet, a bowl of grits, french toast with powdered sugar and three chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast embarrassing?

[Photo: AP]

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David Duchovny in rehab for sex addiction

David Duchovny may have been using a little too much Method acting for his Showtime series Californication, in which he plays a sex-obsessed writer who can't keep a stable relationship. The 48-year-old actor has checked into rehab for sex addiction, the AP reports.

Following up a report first posted on People.com, Duchovny released a statement that said he checked in voluntarily, and added, "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family." Because we're pretty sure Tea Leoni isn't going to want to talk about what's going on.

Duchovny's lawyer and publicist both declined further comment, but Showtime was quick to say in a statement, "All of us at Showtime wish David and his family the best during this very private time."

Meanwhile, Californication is entering its second season, which begins on Sept. 28. Who knew it became a reality show?

[Photo: AP]

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Don't all Juice*heads want a Piece of Meat?

This is equal parts hilarious and disturbing, especially if you aren't a Britney Spears fan or a vegetarian. Word of warning, this isn't the safest video to be watching in your cubicle. But keep an eye out for an appearance by James Rolfe, the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Michael Phelps is coming to Walt Disney World

Keep your eyes peeled if you're headed to Walt Disney World on Friday -- you might get caught up in the swim of things. The theme park is planning to host a special America's Homecoming Parade for Michael Phelps, this swimmer guy you may have heard about from late-night TV the last couple weeks.

Magic Kingdon guests will be able to celebrate the Olympic swimmer's 43 gold medals with lots of flag-waving and confetti throwing around 10:30 a.m. Both Walt Disney World and Disneyland did something similar for his return from Athens in 2004, so imagine how big this hoedown will be.

The good news: admission to the park is regular price for the event. The bad news: You'll have to fight every tbt* staffer with two X chromosomes to get in.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Lindsay Lohan starts MySpace fight with dad

We don't know if you've been keeping up on your MySpace fighting lately, but both Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have been bitch-slapping dad Michael on their celeblogs since he said Sam was glomming onto LiLo for the attention. Takes one to know one, we always say. Anyway, LiLo's latest volley in this cry for help/PR stunt blog war calls Michael out in front of e'rybody. Ooooooh.

Lindsay writes: "If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that's what i have believed my whole life- don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going... If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right!"

She goes on to say -- right before noting that she's listening to her own album, Confessions of a Broken Heart -- that "Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful. This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item."

That's not really fair; Page Six gets things right every once in awhile. We're just glad to see Blohan is doing what she can to minimize the embarrassment of fighting family in public. There's more to this story, but frankly, we just can't keep our lunch down and type it at the same time.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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O.J. Simpson's daughter beats him up in brawl

We've had no idea what's been going on with O.J. Simpson since he was charged with that armed robbery in Vegas, but the New York Daily News says his oldest daughter, Arnelle, just beat him silly at his Miami home on Sunday in a fight over his girlfriend, Christie Prody. You know, the one he abandoned at the airport, and the one who got hit by a car in May.

"Arnelle had a fight with Christie over Christie's behavior. That's what started the whole thing," a source told the Daily News. "Christie has some problems with drinking, and Arnelle got mad. O.J. said 'Don't talk to her like that,' and Arnelle pushed him."

More than that, perhaps, since the National Enquirer said he fell over and ended up with a cut on the back of his head and bleeding from the mouth. The rag says 39-year-old Arnelle was mad at dad for giving 32-year-old Prody money while Arnelle's mom, Marguerite Whitley has to work at Wal-Mart. She was nice enough to call 911 for her dad, though, and everything seems to be back to abnormal.

[Photo: Arnelle and Christie in court last year. Getty Images]

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Katy Perry plasters her breasts for charity

Never let it be said Katy Perry doesn't do her part for good causes. The pop star had a plaster mold of her breasts made for Keep-A-Breast.org, a cancer awareness organization that makes the forms of charitable chests and then auctions them off.

A bust of her 32Ds will be painted by Gym Class Heroes member (and boyfriend) Travis McCoy, she says on her video tour diary (watch above), shot by pal Markus Molinari.

"Educate yourself and also, do something for someone else by making this the highest bidded breast mold ever," she wheedles. Yes, we know it was on her MySpace blog last week, but dude! Katy Perry covered in plaster!

Hilary Duff's father going to jail for 10 days

Hayden Panatierre isn't the only one who has a dad who can get arrested. Hilary Duff's pop Bob Duff has been ordered to spend 10 days in jail for contempt of court in Texas, the AP reports.

Judge Thomas Stanbury had Bob taken into custody in a Houston court Wednesday after determining Duff had violated an injunction against selling assets without court approval. He's in the middle of a nasty divorce with wife Susan, and sold off some stocks worth a mere $367, 537 last month. Stanbury ordered Bob Duff must pay that amount into a court repository. Bob's lawyer said he would appeal.

As far as Hilary is concerned, the judge ordered Bob should pay Susan $12,500 for her 21st birthday party on Sept. 28. That's a lot of cookies 'n' creme. And that's only half of the $25,000 Susan said she wanted to buy Hilary a present and throw her a party. How dare she! That's how much Haylie's party should cost; Hilary's should be at least twice that.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Miley Cyrus depleted by 2013, scientists say

We don't dip into the Oninon News Network too terribly often, but this story has BREAKING NEWS written all over it.

Mackenzie Phillips busted with drugs at LAX

In an item sure to appeal only to Juice*heads of a certain age, Mackenzie Phillips was arrested at LAX on Wednesday for suspicion of possessing a controlled substance. For those of you too young to remember One Day at a Time, she was the not-as-pretty older sister to Valerie Bertinelli, the girl who's in the Jenny Craig ads now, but was once married to Eddie Van Halen.

Anyway, Airport police Sgt. Jim Holcomb said Phillips was on her way to NYC when a security search turned up a pinch of cocaine and a dash of heroin, the AP reports. That's no big surprise, since drugs are why she was fired from the sitcom, which ended in 1984. Younger Juice*olytes may have seen here in Disney's So Weird, which is pretty appropriate for the 48-year-old. If only she could have called Schneider.

[Photo: AP]

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Haley Joel Osment will be starring on Broadway

Since we stopped paying to attention to Haley Joel Osment after Steven Spielberg convinced us all he was some silly robot child, it's good to hear the now-20-year-old actor has new life on Broadway. He'll be starring in David Mamet's American Buffalo alongside such luminaries as John Leguizamo and Cedric the Entertainer, BroadwayWorld.com says.

The revival, which opens at the Belasco Theatre on Nov. 17 will be Osment's Broadway debut. It's good to see he's working again, even if it is a play about three guys who attempt to steal some guy's coin collection. We see fed people.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Suge Knight arrested for beating up woman

Marion "Suge" Knight, whom we haven't heard from since he got knocked out in a fight in Hollywood back in May, was arrested in Las Vegas on Wednesday for allegedly beating a woman while holding a knife. Classy.

"This was apparently Marion Knight's girlfriend that was riding with him in his car at the time," police Lt. Chris Carroll told the local CBS affiliate. "She started punching him while in the car (he was driving) in an effort to escape she grabbed the steering wheel and steered it to the curb. That's when she got out of the car and tried to run and he caught up to her."

Knight was booked for assault with a deadly weapon, battery, domestic violence and possession of a controlled substance. It's sad to see Death Row Records wasn't the only thing he's ruined. And yet we still wonder, why is his nickname not spelled "Shug," anyway?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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'Impulse' on Guitar Hero III, via Lego

If you're dorky enough to keep trying to beat An Endless Sporadic's Impulse on Guitar Hero III, then you'll appreciate the absolute nerdery involved in whoever laid out the fret board in Legos. That's why it's called the Daily Time Waster, folks.

Sheryl Crow's clothing line digs in Bootheels

Sheryl Crow was in Las Vegas promoting her new clothing line, Bootheel Trading Co. (named after her old stomping grounds in that little part of Missouri that hangs down between Redneck and Hayseed), and she seems pretty proud of her wares.

“Denim has become so high-priced as of late," she has told People. "My friends back home don’t want to spend $250 for a pair of jeans. I want them to be able to walk into a medium-priced store and be able to afford a cool pair of jeans for less than 100 bucks.”

That medium-priced store is Dillards, and less than $100 price is $69 for her most expensive pair. As for shirts, they start at $29. As for the advertising for Bootheel by The Juice*, that's free.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Matthew McConaughey's dad died having sex

In case you ever fear your mom has reached the pinnacle of being embarrassing, think of Matthew McConaughey. His mom, Kay, has dished up in her new autobiography, I Amaze Myself, that Matty's dad died in the throes of marital bliss with her.

“On Monday mornings, he and I often said goodbye by making love,” Kay tells Us. “But one day, all of a sudden, it just happened. I knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing. But it was just the best way to go!”

And if that's a not enough, she says she made sure her man was carted out naked for all the world to see.

“I was just so proud to show off my big old Jim McConaughey — and his gift,” she says.

Time to go call Mama Juice* and ask about something innocuous, like that new British comedy she's watching, or maybe about that time she and her friends snuck a cow into an elevator during college. Anything but what Kay was just saying.

[Photo: Matt with Camila Alves. Getty Images]

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Sean Combs actually flies on American Airlines

As proof that money can't buy you brains (or humility), Sean Combs has posted another YouTube vlog complaining to the populace that hey, gas is too expensive lately, so he doesn't want to take his private jet all over the place.

"As you know, I do own my own jet but I have been havin to fly back and forth to L.A. to pursue my acting career," he whines on the video above (mind the salty language). "Okay, now, if I’m flying back and forth, like, twice in a month that’s like 200,000, 250,000 round trip. F--- that. I’m back on American Airlines right now."

He even pleads with the Mideast to help his tale of woe find a happy ending, giving a shout-out to "all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if y’all could please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it. But right now, I am actually, can you believe this, I am actually flying commercial. That’s how high gas prices are ok, so I feel you."

Yes, Diddly-Do, we can believe it. Did you know that some people actually have to work to pay bills and buy gas to drive to the grocery store to get food for their children? We know you think that's the stuff of myth and legend, but it's true! We read about it on Wikipedia.

Isis is like all the other girls on 'Top Model'

Here's Isis, the transgendered contestant on the upcoming cycle of America's Next Top Model. (By the way, did we mention the casting call in Tampa this weekend?) We don't care about the transgendered stuff, especially since she looks like she has all manner of other personality traits that will make this season's house a powder keg anyway. It's ratings gold, I tells ya!

And Brad Pitt and his kids are in Venice, too

See, we told you Brad Pitt was in Venice. Here he is with adopted sons Maddox and Pax, who look thrilled to be carted away from France for this. Apparently they both visited the salon, too, since Mad got the blue dye job and Pax seems to be sporting some sort of Stacy London-style streaks.

[Photo: AP]

George Clooney lives it up on Italian red carpet

George Clooney attends the 65th Venice Film Festival "Not On Our Watch" Charity Gala held at the Hotel Cipriani on Tuesday (his buddy Brad Pitt will show up this week, as well). That sounds really impressive until you realize that George has his own villa in Italy and has been cruising around in his yacht for the better part of the last month. That is, when he's not crusading against genocide in Darfur. And once again, he proves a movie star's life is one not all of us could lead!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Dr. Dre's son is found dead in his home

Dr. Dre's 20-year-old son has died, the rapper's publicist said Tuesday. "Dr. Dre is mourning the loss of his son Andre Young Jr.," publicist Lori Earl said in a statement.

Young Jr., who was named after his father, was found dead Saturday by his mother at their home in suburban Woodland Hills, county coroner's Lt. John Kades said. An autopsy was performed Monday, but the cause of death wasn't likely to be determined for eight weeks while toxicology tests are done, Kades said.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Brad Pitt shoots next cover of W magazine

If the coverage of Brad Pitt's and Angelina Jolie's family in People isn't enough for you, you're in luck. Fashion Week Daily says Pitt's photographs of the entire clan at their French chateau will end up on the cover of the November issue of W.

Photography is a little hobby of Brad's so what better way to show it than shill pics of your kids to a magazine? It worked once before, when Brangelina were on the cover of W's July 2005 issue (at right), but that was with the help of pal Steven Klein. This next round will be all Brad's handiwork. Let's hope there are no thumbs in the frame.

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Lab sues Kate Hudson for breach of contract

Kate Hudson is in the legal crosshairs of scientists after L.A.-based 220 Laboratories filed a complaint against the actress for stealing a shampoo formula and using it to make her hair-care line. Hudson's Wildaid line of eco-friendly products, masterminded by hair pro David Babaii (also named in the suit), incorporate a special formula that 220 developed, but weren't paid for, E! Online reports.

The so-called Vanuatu Complex -- a mix of plant life and volcanic ash from the eponymous islands -- was stolen by Hudson and taken to a competing manufacturer on the cheap, the papers say. Seventeen causes of action include fraud, misappropriation of trade secrets, breach of contract, breach of confidence and more, E! says.

The lab claims it had an oral contract with Hudson back in August 2006, which was violated by the use of the complex, similar product packaging, and various promotions Kate and Babaii did for the line, including an appearance on Home Shopping Network in July. 220 Laboratories says it didn't give consent, and even if they did, they haven't gotten any payment yet. Looks like Matthew McConaughey isn't the only one who was in Fool's Gold (zing!).

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Denise Richards' 'It's Complicated' is cancelled

It seems that Denise Richards has finally -- finally! -- been figured out by the TV-watching public, who were so uninterested in her shtick on E!'s It's Complicated that the network has canceled the show. And this from the place that brought you The Simple Life.

"The numbers started out pretty good - just over 1.5 million tuned in for the premiere episode (on May 26)," a source told The Insider. "But the audience has dropped off. "

That's great news for the general state of modern society, as it proves no one wants to watch a washed-up B-lister ruin her kids, Sam and Lola, while trying to burn Charlie Sheen at the stake. To wit:

"Viewers were disgusted that a mother of two young girls would use such foul language," the source added. So what have we learned? You can star in bad movies in which you have lesbian liaisons with Neve Campbell, kill giant alien insects and bed James Bond, but swearing in front of your kids is still a no-no. Wow, it really is complicated.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Let's eat at Steve Guttenberg's Steakhouse

The sad part? Even though this is supposed to be funny, we wouldn't doubt it was true.

Kirsten Dunst hooks up with Justin Long in L.A.

Justin Long, a.k.a. Mac Guy, a.k.a. Drew Barrymore's ex was seen hanging out with Kirsten Dunst at Sunset Junction in L.A., the New York Daily News reports. She must not need rehab anymore, but what a career move for Long!

The pair "were making out hard-core while waiting in line for margaritas," a source says. "They were holding hands and were all over each other." And if there's one thing Kirsten Dunst does well, it's end up all over her boyfriends, like Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Hartnett, Andy Samberg and Orlando Bloom.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Why is Mitchel Musso in Pasco County?

No offense to Trinity Elementary School in Pasco County, which managed quite the coup by pulling in a bonafide TV tween heartthrob to deliver a public service message Tuesday, but we'd think Mitchel Musso (Oliver Oscar Oken of Disney's Hannah Montana) could do better gigs than selling gradeschoolers on the importance of hand washing.

In any case, Eleana Giannakopoulos, 14, and sister Varvara, 5, were thrilled to get autographs. In the background is Dr. Jonathan Perlin of the Hospital Corporation of America, which has hired Musso to spread the word about not spreading germs.

[Photo by Brendan Fitterer of the Times]

Britney Spears won't be at this year's VMAs

Give up your dreams of Britney Spears repeating on the MTV Video Music Awards, because it's absolutely untrue, the New York Daily News reports. Manager Larry Rudolph said Monday that there's no chance she would be on the Sept. 7 show.

"She did the promo for them, but there never were any plans for her to appear on the show," a spokesman for Rudolph said. The flack also said that rumors fueled by a hair stylist telling E! News that he might be doing Brit's hair for the show are just so much hogwash.

For now we'll have to be satisfied with her nominations for Piece of Me and those annoying promos with Russell Brand -- and, of course, last year's awesome performance (above). Hey, Brit has plenty of time to reclaim her lost limelight, right?

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Andy Dick won't face sexual battery charge

Andy Dick may have been accused of pulling a teenage girl's top down back in July, but he won't be charged with sexual battery, the AP reports. Hey, hey's an actor in California -- criminal charges are for lesser beings!

Dick will still be charged with misdemeanor drug possession and battery charges, but there will be no felony stakes after prosecutors reviewed video of the incident, the AP reports. The incident took place in Murrieta, a city about 80 miles east of L.A.

We can't imagine what the confusion was all about, but we'll find out Wednesday when he goes to court. If nothing happened to him after juggling Pamela Anderson's breasts during her Comedy Central roast, we don't see why anything would happen now.

[Photo: AP]

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JoJo faints at show, K-Ci doesn't even K-Care

In the latest sign that compassion is as dead as Dillinger, Joel Hailey of K-Ci and JoJo collapsed onstage at the Enmore Theatre in Sydney over the weekend, and nobody really seemed to care. Maybe it's because the concert was billed as a Jodeci show, but only had these two.

While Cedric Hailey continued to sing All My Life, JoJo fell over and appeared to lose consciousness, while a big fat stagehand just wandered over and picked up the singer's microphone (at about 1:50 in the video above). Eventually Joel stood up and wobbled offstage, with Cedric later telling the audience that the duo were tired from their flight to Australia.

Vibe says the show was advertised as also having Jodeci members Donald and Dalvin DeGrate, but those two weren't there. Is it possible this is all a stunt to raise Jodeci's profile in time for their upcoming double CD? It's not working -- even the guys backstage didn't care.

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Kim Kardashian cuts toe in time for 'DWTS'

While Eric Deggans blogs about the newest members of the Dancing With the Stars cast, Kim Kardashian got a scare this weekend after cutting her left big toe open on a glass coffee table, TMZ reports. Oh noes! Whatever will she do?

She'll get some surgical glue and be just fine, the Web site finally reports. Whew! A source who is not at all given to hyperbole said there was "so much blood, it looked like a murder scene." For a murdered chipmunk, maybe. They also have a bloody photo of it, which is disturbing to think about, since that means they took the time to sit down and document the grossness.

The site reports Kardashian asked for the glue because stitches take longer to heal, and she wanted to be ready intime to get kicked off DWTS. Just wait until Warren Sapp steps on it.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Kara DioGuardi is new judge on 'American Idol'

In a move that is no doubt sending Paula Abdul to the shrink with anxiety attacks and an inferiority complex, Fox has announced it is adding a fourth judge to American Idol. Songwriter Kara DioGuardi will join the panel this fall for the eighth season of the waning talent show, the AP reports.

"We are turning the heat up on Idol this year and are thrilled to welcome Kara to the judges' table," creator and executive producer Simon Fuller said. "She is a smart, sassy lady, and one of America's most successful songwriters. We know she will bring a new level of energy and excitement to the show."

DioGuardi's songs have been recorded by Kelly Clarkson (strangely enough), Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani, Celine Dion, Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood and Pink, among others.

Producers said this wasn't a new idea, since Idol was supposedly intended to have a fourth judge. Simon Cowell must have had a big enough ego to qualify as two people.

[Photo: AP]

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It's Music Monday!: 'Just Stand Up'

Here's that new single featuring everyone to raise money to fight cancer (more on that here). Sorry, no video yet, but get ready to hear this song about 10,000 times a day.

Madonna's Sticky & Sweet tour is kinda gross

Fifty-year-old pop queen Madonna kicks off her "Sticky & Sweet" tour on Saturday night in Cardiff, Wales, with a good dose of her renowned sense of good taste. Truly, there's a point when even the best of us need to call it a day -- Madge looks great and all, but she was singing Like A Virgin before recent college grads were even born.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Dr. Drew Pinsky trying to avoid hospital flap

It's a bad time to be under Dr. Drew Pinsky's care these days, even with another round of Celebrity Rehab on the way to VH1.

The media-savvy doc has been distancing himself from his position of co-director of the Aurora Las Encinas Hospital's chemical dependency unit after two patients died of drug-related overdoses, another patient hanged himself and a 14-year-old female patient was raped by a 16-year-old patient, the L.A. Times reports. That's not a very good track record at all, and Pinsky seems to know it.

The Times reports that Pinsky said Las Encinas was "not my hospital" and called it a "bizarre misconception" that his name has been brought up in connection with the cases. Problem is, his bio was on the hospital's Web site with a big, fat photo trumpeting his involvment with the unit, which Drew said he didn't know about. That's since been taken down, the Times says.

"I had no direct knowledge and no direct participation in the recent care of the patients in question," Pinsky said. "Patient confidentiality laws prevent me from discussing these or any other patients who may have been admitted to the facility."

Investigations found that 28-year-old Jeffery Hearn died in April of an overdose from drugs that were smuggled in by friends, the paper says, while a day later, 23-year-old Alex Clyburn was found to be given too many medications while already suffering from an OD of OxyContin and Xanax, leading him to apparently pass out and choke on his own vomit. A hospital worker was found to have falsified reports that said Clyburn was being monitored and was fired.

In August, Timur Otus, a 43-year-old bipolar patient, hanged himself at NASH House, a treatment unit on hospital grounds. A day later the teenage girl was raped while the alleged perpetrator's probation officer slept in a nearby room.

Bad things can happen at any rehab center, but the big difference with Las Encinas (besides the alarming frequency) is Pinsky's involvement. The facility caters to wealthier individuals, the paper says, offering perks like a tennis court, swimming pool, a high-def TV and a treatment center with concierge service. All this for only $840 per night (with a roommate -- $1,400 a night for a private room).

Pinsky's Celebrity Rehab is shot at Pasadena Recovery Center, not far from the hospital.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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It's going to be a regular march of antiheroes

We hope you like your superhero movies dark, what with The Dark Knight making a gazillion dollars and Watchmen looking like the biggest cup of awesome since, well, The Dark Knight. But now Warner Bros. has said that its Superman franchise will be going the Batman and Watchmen route and get all broody and emo.

"Superman didn't quite work as a film in the way that we wanted it to," WB movie boss Jeff Robinov told the Wall Street Journal. "It didn't position the character the way he needed to be positioned." That (thankfully) means a followup to Superman Returns and a planned Batman and Superman crossover are getting scrapped in favor of returning to the drawing board.

Robinov cited Marvel Studios' method of building up their Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk and Iron-Man franchises for one big crossover as a good model -- just wait 'til The Avengers comes out. But the studio is planning four comic book movies in the enxt three years, so we'll be getting lots of shadowy scowls and bass-driven soundtracks. What, Speed Racer wasn't getting it done for them?

[Photo: Warner Bros.]

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Katie Holmes may be a miss on Broadway bid

Katie Holmes may want to make it big on Broadway, but audiences are apparently telling her something different. MSNBC's The Scoop says ticket sales for All My Sons -- also starring John Lithgow, Patrick Wilson and Dianne Wiest -- are "definitely off from what the production hoped," according to a source.

"You can’t say it’s the economy, because there are shows like Mamma Mia that are selling out," the source says. But maybe they want more Dawson's Creek and less depressing WWII-era tale. "It’s not that Katie’s bad in the part. She’s good enough. The producers are just getting the feeling people still want to view Katie as sweet little Joey Potter."

But being MSNBC, a source willing to be named says this is all a load of tripe. Show publicist Jackie Green says, "That information is totally false. There is a healthy advance for the show, and there is no chance of the run being shortened." Of course, she has a vested interest in making it sound like the show will be able to cash in come Oct. 16, so who should we believe?

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George Clooney replaces car he damaged

George Clooney is one of those guys who's pretty cool, so gets little print from The Juice*, but rumors that he bought a female fan a new car are too good to ignore. ShowbizSpy says the actor/producer/director/nice guy had "shunted" an unnamed woman's ride while driving in Pennabilli, Italy, hitting the vehicle from behind. We tell you, that Pennabilli traffic is a monster!

Anywho, when the woman went to the repair shop to pick up her car, she found out that Clooney had accepted full responsibility for the accident and had spent $28,000 to replace her Lancia Ypsilon. He even left a note reading: "I'm so sorry. Hope you'll forgive me. George Clooney." And while this story, if true, was likely put out by Clooney's people (what, you can't even name the woman?), it's still the nicest thing we've seen all day.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Winona Ryder is apparently dating Tom Green

Let's all get in the Wayback Machine and go to the year 1993, when Tom Green and Winona Ryder were still relevant, to make the announcement that the couple are dating. Would you like some Crystal Pepsi with that?

The National Enquirer proves its relevance by reporting the couple were at a Hollywood bar together last week and have been together since Ryder broke up with Rilo KIley singer Blake Sennett. This is the same rag that broke the John Edwards scandal?

"Winona didn't waste any time, a source said. "She and Tom were all over each other, laughing and carrying on." No, Winona has wasted enough time already, we think. And Tom Green? The last good funny thing we saw him in was that marriage with Drew Barrymore.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Sporty Spice Melanie Chisholm is pregnant

The final Spice has succumbed to mommyhood. Melanie Chisholm, a.k.a. Sporty Spice, is the fifth and final Spice Girl to get pregnant. The 34-year-old and her boyfriend of six years, Thomas Starr (he's a property developer or something) made the announcement on her Web site, www.melaniec.net. Aw, she couldn't even secure the .com domain name.

"Some happy news! I can now announce that Tom and I are expecting a baby and we are very happy," she wrote. "As I'm sure you'll understand, we needed time to wait for results and tell our families," she explained on the site.

She said she's also working on new material for a fifth (!) album, which makes this all sound like an elaborate publicity stunt, but never fear, Sporty fans: "I will need to take some time off to be a mum," she wrote. "But, before you know it, we'll be back." We can hear the rest of the Spice Girls groaning at all the phone calls now.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Gwen Stefani has her baby, Zuma Nesta Rock

Round Two in baby news is that Gwen Stefani had another baby boy on Thursday. The AP says Zuma Nesta Rock weighed 8 pounds, 5 ounces.

“Mother, baby and family are all happy and healthy,” publicist Dave Tomberlin told the AP.

InTouch Weekly broke the news, saying the 38-year-old hotness checked into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. for a C-section Thursday morning. It’s her second child with husband Gavin Rossdale.

"Gwen’s so excited to have this baby because she gained a lot of weight during this pregnancy,” a friend told the glossy. “She is ready to meet her new baby and get her body back.” That sounds a little more selfish and sinister than we think she intended.

[Photo: AP]

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Joe Jonas might really be dating Taylor Swift

More fuel for the Jonas Bros. fire: Joe Jonas' relationship with Taylor Swift has taken a decidedly romantic turn, if we're to believe People's report that the 19-year-old singer showed up at the Rascal Flatts concert in West Palm Beach on Sunday night.

"I spotted Joe quickly, but he was trying to hide from the crowds by tucking in-between a few people," says Mishelle Rivera, assistant promotions director for Miami's Y-100 Radio, told People. "He was wearing a baseball cap and real casual dress so he wouldn't stand out."

He apparently was hanging out with Taylor's dad near the soundboard, obviously to repay the 18-year-old songstress' appearances at recent JB concerts.

"He watched only her performance, then walked backstage to the meet and greet area," Rivera says. "But when he saw people start to recognize him, he hid. It was real obvious he didn't want people to know he was there to see Taylor."

Taylor has said they're just friends, but with all this criss-crossing nationwide to see each other, we've got to think Nick isn't the only one with a girlfriend these days.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Lindsay Lohan wants to meet Michael Phelps

Eight-time gold medalist Michael Phelps (did you hear he won eight gold medals?) might get his chance to meet Lindsay Lohan, four years and eight medals later. He won the gold eight times, y'know.

After telling Access Hollywood at the Athens Olympics in 2004 that he'd most like to meet Linds because "she's pretty hot," the show's Billy Bush finally heard from LiLo, who told Billy to tell Michael "good luck." Scandalous!

And after he won his eighth medal (it was gold, btw), she told Billy: "Tell him he's (bad swear) amazing, and I want to meet him!" Except four years have passed, Lohan's with Samantha Ronson and Michael is more famous than LiLo is. So where are we going with this? Oh yeah -- He's got eight gold medals!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Nick Jonas, Selena Gomez email each other lots

Did you know that teenage couples send each other notes and e-mails? Shocking, but true. Star wastes a lot of ink writing that Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas have taken to the IntArWebz to e-mail each other constantly about important things, like hurricane preparedness, judging scandals at the Olympics and the geopolitical climate of post-Soviet Russia. We're kidding -- they just flirt a lot.

"I love your mouth and I love your smile. It totally melts me," Nick, 15, wrote to Selena, 16, Star reports. Way to work that younger man, G! And hold on to your seats, but the mag says they even send each other notes when they're in the same room together! ZOMFG!

"They have inside jokes and write sexy little things — he's totally in love," an obviously well-educated source tells Star. "They are addicted to e-mailing each other. That's what teenagers do!" And yet, you can't email a note that says "Do you like me?" with a yes or no box to check.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Miley Cyrus selling $250 tix to birthday party

Leave it to Miley Cyrus and Disney to extort thousands of dollars out of little kids (or more accurately, their parents) for yet another party. The singer is celebrating her Sweet 16 at Disneyland, and you can attend -- for the paltry fee of $250 per person.

Entertainment Tonight says a limited number of tix to "Miley's Sweet 16 -- Share the Celebration" will go on sale on Aug. 30. Disneyland is apparently shutting down that day to pack in as many of her closest friends as possible. Forgive The Juice* if we're wrong, but doesn't "sharing" imply doing something free of charge? Be sure to mark your Miley calendars for Oct. 5 to watch it on TV, because we know you're too broke right now to go to some birthday party for a media princess.

[Photo: AP]

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Matt Damon and Luciana have a baby girl, Gia

About six or seven months ago we had a rash of pregnancy announcements, so that means we're ready for a round of new baby news! First up: Matt Damon and his wife Luciana, who had their baby girl, Gia Zavala, on Wednesday.

"Everyone is great," Damon's rep tells Us. "She's healthy and beautiful." The couple already have two daughters, Isabella, 2, and Alexia, 10. There were no more details about Gia, but we can rest assured that Matt will be spending some time with them, since he recently told USA Today he was taking the rest of the year off.

[Photo: AP]

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What Britney Spears sounds like for real

In case you haven't see today's viral video from Funny Or Die, it's supposedly Britney Spears' isolated stage microphone tracks. It's no wonder she lip synchs. Although, to her credit, she was writhing and jumping and bouncing a lot.

Thanks, T-Bone.