Jamie Lynn Spears might be pregnant. Or not.

Never in our whole lives have we ever wanted the National Enquirer to be more wrong -- not even  when they reported that giant locusts would enslave the Earth, or that El Chupacabra was real and in the United States. The supermarket mainstay is reporting that Jamie Lynn Spears (drum roll ...) is pregnant again. Heaven help us.

In what they call a "blockbuster world exclusive," they say the 17-year-old is once again with child, a mere three months after giving birth to Maddie Briann. And this time the family is begging her to get an abortion.

"Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical," a source tells the rag.  "Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out."

In further proof that our dumb children really could use a teensy bit of sex education, Jamie Lynn apparently thought some old wives' tale was true and got knocked up.

"Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding," the same source adds. "She’d expected to have her period by early September. ... They’ve reminded Jamie Lynn how much trouble she had adjusting to motherhood with Maddie, and pointed out that having a second baby now would only be a recipe for disaster."

This sure makes big sis Britney’s latest problem — her attorney rejected a plea offer that would have placed her on a year’s probation and forced her to pay a $150 fine for driving without a license — look like chicken feed, don’t it?

An "unimpeachable source" tells TMZ this ain't the truth, and another unnamed source for E! calls the report “a bunch of made-up crap,” but we'll wait to get it from the horse's mouth. Until then ... keep watching the skies!

[Photo: AP]

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Comments

[Ned]

note to jamie - keep your legs together.

[Ned]

note to jamie - keep your legs together.

[Banglijk]

TechRider, not that your post deserves a reply but, the person on death row made the decision to face death. The yet to be delivered child didn't. Pro-life means life of the child.

[Jay]

What a wonderful role model for kids this family has been.

[Larry Flint]

That girls going to be all blown out down there before she hits 20, and thats sad.

[jeff]

Is there anyway to get this family back on the trailer park and out of our sight?? It is not likely this pregnancy had anything to do with Christian teachings in their household. This classless brood of attrative looking yokels haven't tought their young'uns anything useful.

[Jon]

Christians should dump the rhetoric, obviously. Kind of "put up or shut up", I think. But I wonder about folks who think abortion should be as readily available as flu shots. Surgical procedures should not be available as a service at Walgreens or CVS, should they? The real nuts are those who think so lightly about the human body. That's truly scary, and I hope they never gain political power.

[Miki]

That was then. What do they do now other than spout rhetoric?

[Jon]

For all your comments about 'religious nuts' etc., Christians used to be known in the Roman Empire for going to the garbage dumps and taking home the unwanted infants left there by their Roman parents. Tertullian said Christians loved Romans more than Romans did. Why can't Christians get back to this reputation of adopting unwanted babies? Pro-life must include adoption of babies AND anti-death penalty or you're not really pro-LIFE.

[Monica]

Sadly a lot of teens believe stuff like that. Because the religious nuts refuse to allow sex education and birth control to be taught in the schools. "Heaven forbid" that teens get educated. They may realize that the religious nuts are just that.

[JoJo]

Jamie Lynn's not too bright for believing that -- I sure wish she lived next to me! We'd have all kinds of fun!

[Cara]

Ah yes. The pro-life nuts speak. If it were up to me abortion would not only remain legal but as readily available as a flu shot. Birth control would also be available over the counter. Watch the teen pregnancy rates drop then.

[Mary]

Let her have the child without any flack: It's her problem, not mine or yours. After all, she's obviously not doing it (getting preggers again so quickly) for the welfare $$ that so many other irresponsible women do.

[Your boss called . . .]

Ahhh . . . President Bush's poster child for "abstinance only" education rides again.

Yep - if we don't teach 'em nuthin' they won't be doin' nuthin' . . .that sure worked!

[TechRider]

So, how is it that all of you pro-lifers are also for the death penalty. You guys are like game wardens. No abortions, too small, throw em back. But once grown up, it's ok to kill em. You betcha!

[winston]

good thing sarah failin would make them get married to raise more retard children who get the wrong idea about how couples should be

[Banglijk]

Good thing she is pro-choice and murder is an option.

[Gee]

TMZ says the story is false.

[Perno]

She seems like a better mom than Britney thus far. I guess kids can be born into worse situations, no?