Brad Pitt passes up $5 million for his kids

We've been ignoring the constant reports that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are splitting up for the umpteenth time, mostly because actions speak louder than words. And when Brad passes up a $5 million payday to take his kids trick-or-treating, that doesn't really equate to problems at home, dig?

Life & Style says the prolific papa ditched an invite to the Oct. 31 Grand Prix Ball Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates, which was a Formula 1 charity event for clean-water organization Fresh2o. It attracted performers such as Beyonce, Timbaland and a Steve Tyler-less Aerosmith, but Brad decided to dress up as Yo Gabba Gabba's DJ Lance Rock for his kids instead.

“We were told he would be attending as the guest of the Tourism Development & Investment Company,” Global Event Management rep James Magee told Life & Style. “But he was a no-show, and nobody seemed to know why.”

Of course they wouldn't. Of course they wouldn't.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jon Voight, Angelina Jolie are speaking again

It must almost be time for the holidays, because what else could explain the heartwarming tale that Jon Voight has reconciled with freaky daughter Angelina Jolie? Well, besides peace on Earth and the end of world hunger, we mean.

"We're in touch, but not regularly," Voight told Us. "We love each other and that's the most important thing."

Okay, so it's not quite the breakthrough Hallmark reunion we had not cared about, but it's something. The 70-year-old hadn't spoken to his daughter since he went on Access Hollywood in 2001 and told her to get help for "serious mental problems" (that was around her brother-kissing, Billy Bob Thornton blood-wearing phase).

A family friend says "they met face-to-face back in February, and are again on speaking terms:"Angie made the initial contact," the source says. "Brad (Pitt) has been supportive -- a key factor in her reaching out."

Of course Brad pushed her to be nice -- they need all the babysitters they can get!

[Photo: Jon and Angie back in 2000. You forgot she was that weird, didn't you? Getty Images]

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Brad Pitt blows $82,000 on a home for kids' gerbils

Brad Pitt has found something to blow his paycheck from Inglourious Basterds on, and it's not killing NAT-sees ... he just shelled out $82,000 for a house for his kids' pet gerbils. Yes, that's with three zeroes at the end.

The National Enquirer says Brad designed the habitat himself, putting in labyrinths, tunnels, platforms, seesaws and heated swimming pools for the pets Maddox and Pax picked out with Angelina Jolie in France: "The boys were really keen to get the gerbils and it was Angelina who reached into the cage to pet them before a store worker got them out," a source told the rag.

First of all, what a lame quote; Angie picked out a couple rodents? Woo. Second, is it really surprising he blew twice the median Floridian annual income on a Habitrail? This is a guy who could bathe in dodo blood every day, he's so rich. But why did it cost so much? Was it chiseled out of marble? we'll ahve to wait until it's featured in Architectural Digest.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Jessica Biel is the Web's most dangerous celebrity

Jessica Biel is the most dangerous celebrity on the Web. Security technology company McAfee Inc. on Tuesday said that searches for the 27-year-old actress are more likely to lead to spyware and viruses than any other celebrity, the AP reports. Well, searches sure aren't going to lead to any worthy news about her career.

McAfee said there'sa one-in-five chance of ending up at a Web site that's trying to ruin your CPU. This is the third such report McAfee has done. Last year Brad Pitt was private enemy No.1.

"Cybercriminals are star watchers, too," said Jeff Green, senior vice president of McAfee's product development. "They latch onto popular celebrities to encourage the download of malicious software in disguise."

Following Biel in the report, in order, were Beyonce, Jennifer Aniston, Tom Brady and Jessica Simpson. McAfee noted President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama are curiously safe searches, ranking no. 34 and no. 39, respectively. Without evidence, we figure the safest search out there is for Dan O'Herlihy, whom you may remember best as Grig from The Last Starfighter. Because, you know, why not?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Brad Pitt is a sumo's assistant in Japanese Softbank commercials

Softbank Sumo from We Love You So on Vimeo.

Brad Pitt has been known to do commercials in Japan before, so when he does a couple for Softbank featuring American-born sumo wrestler Musashimaru and directed by Spike Jonze, we'll eagerly watch. Trivia: Mrs. Juice* and I actually saw the former Yokozuna defend his title at a basho in Osaka years ago. Aren't we just so cool? But there was no Brad Pitt fawning over him then. Here's a second commercial below:

Softbank Dining from We Love You So on Vimeo.

Brangelina have 'a few special places.' For sex.

Don't believe the rumors that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are close to splitting up. No, they like to brag about having sex too much for that. But remember, she talked about Billy Bob Thornton that way, too.

After Brad dished in Parade that there's a grotto behind the waterfall in their pool that was "a great place for sex," Angie took the time during the L.A. premiere of Inglourious Basterds to say that was just one of many places they grabbed a quickie.

"We've got a few special places, you know? You keep it going," the U.K.'s Sun quoted her.

"It's not true," Brad added. "We have far more comfortable places to go. There is an old Hollywood property just a few minutes away. It has a grotto there. The rumor is Jimi Hendrix spent some time there."

And that anecdote, ladies and germs, is enough to keep them on the overexposed list for at least another three months.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Angelina Jolie visits refugees in Iraq

Angelina Jolie kept up the do-gooder part of her UN goodwill ambassador status by traveling to Iraq for a third time and speaking to refugee families, Us reports. We didn't exactly think the Abu Ghraib district was a regular vacation spot.

The 34-year-old actress met four families displaced from that district, listening to how their children couldn't go to school and the couldn't afford medical treatment (see, they aren't so different from us).

"It takes a lot of strength for you to survive this life, " Jolie told one refugee. "I don't know if I would be strong enough to survive this."

It's Jolie's third trip to the country, having visited in August 2007 and again back in February.

"I want to come back and find you in a better place and in a different situation," Jolie told locals. "We hope that UNHCR and the government will support you in getting a piece of land. You need help not because you are poor, but because you are the future of Iraq."

[Photo: AP]

Brad Pitt looks old, nerdy on cover of Wired

Maybe we're just hating on Brad Pitt, but when did he turn into Benicio del Toro? The 45-year-old actor ostensibly shills his upcoming Quentin Tarantino flick Inglourious Basterds by sporting a Bluetooth earpiece and talking about nerdy things while channeling Lt. Aldo Raine, Nazi scalp hunter. We're buying our copy today.

"Who cares if your Warcraft wife is really a dude," Brad says right on the cover. "If it's good, don't check under the hood."

Among his other nuggets of wisdom, he says to limit bathroom conversations to text messaging, because, well, talking on the phone in a public restroom is just foul: "Just be sure you don't hit the wrong button and end up putting a photo of your junk on Twitter. Trust me, you don't want those followers."

And that whole issue of truthiness online? Yeah, forget that, especially when discussing income.

"Everyone lies online. In fact, readers expect you to lie. If you don't, they'll think you make less than you actually do. So the only way to tell the truth is to lie."

Hey, it all makes sense to us.

Brad Pitt's Moneyball may still be coming

That $50 million screen adaptation of Michael Lewis' book Moneyball starring Brad Pitt may have been shut down days before production was slated to begin, but don't count it out yet. Unlike the Oakland Athletics, who are pretty much done for the season.

The New York Times says The West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin has been hired to rewrite the script, which Sony took exception to because it was too much like a documentary. That's tough, since it is a nonfiction book about a baseball team's financial strategies.

Sony Pictures hopes to add on producer Scott Rudin, who was behind such light-hearted fare as There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men. The Times says if the Sorkin rewrite goes as planned, Moneyball will be ready to shoot in the fall. At least Pitt would still be involved -- unless he doesn't like the new script.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston richest women in Hollywood

Forbes just released its list of top female moneymakers in Hollywood, and Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston take first and second place. Hanging around with Brad Pitt sure does make you rich.

The list, not to be confused with the recent most-powerful compilation Forbes released, says Jolie raked in $27 million from June 2008 to June 2009, mostly from global box office from Wanted and an advance on Salt. Aniston came up with $25 million. That SmartWater deal and residuals from Friends are really working out for Jen -- oh and Marley & Me.

Meryl Streep was third with $24 million, Sarah Jessica Parker topped $23 million, just in time for her new twins to get in the will.

The rest of the Top 10 includes Cameron Diaz ($20 million), Sandra Bullock and Reese Witherspoon (both with $15 million), Nicole Kidman and Drew Barrymore ($12 million each) and Renee Zellweger ($10 million). Too bad Harrison Ford's $65 million topper for last month's men's list could buy and sell them all.

[Photos: Getty Images]