Guy Ritchie calls Madonna 'retarded' in Esquire

We knew Guy Ritchie would have to break his silence and speak out about his ex-wife, some chick named Madonna. Haven't heard of her; have you?

Taking time out from talking about beliefs, Sherlock Holmes and Brazilian jujitsu, Ritchie spills the beans about his ex-wife to Esquire's Tom Chiarella: "She's a manifester, if there ever was one. First-rate manifester. Madonna makes things happen. Put Madonna up against any twenty-three-year-old, she'll outwork them, outdance them, outperform them. The woman is broad."

And then, out of nowhere, and inexplicably with no follow-up, comes this: "And, of course, here you go: I still love her. But she's retarded, too."

For some reason, Chiarella moves on to some jabbering about Ritchie's personal rules, which apparently don't include refraining from fragging your ex-wife in PR yaps. So we'll just have to live with the knowledge that we really don't think you have to be married to Madonna to think that.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Madonna wins damages from British paper over wedding photos

A court battle over photos of Madonna's wedding to Guy Ritchie has ended, with Madge accepting undisclosed damages from the publisher of the U.K.'s Mail on Sunday, the AP reports. At this point, they should have to pay all their readers damages, too.

The singer wasn't in court Tuesday, but her lawyer John Kelly confirmed that she had accepted "substantial" damages from Associated Newspapers, the paper's publisher, the AP says. The amount wasn't disclosed, but Kelly told Justice Peter Smith that she would donate the money to her Raising Malawi charity.

Madge, who just got divorced, had sought damages in excess of $8 million after the paper published photos of the 2000 wedding that were copied by an interior designer working in the singer's Beverly Hills home. Kelly said the newspaper initially turned down the offer, but bought the pictures last year after the divorce was announced, otherwise they would have sued to stop publication and save us all some trouble.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Madonna booed in Romania for promoting Gypsy tolerance

Madonna always finds something to get people riled up, and this time it's for telling Romanians they shouldn't discriminate the country's Roma, a.k.a. Gypsies. Oh Madge, you're always stirring the pot!

"It has been brought to my attention ... that there is a lot of discrimination against Romanies and Gypsies in general in Eastern Europe," she told a crowd of 60,000 in Bucharest Wednesday night. "It made me feel very sad."

She got a lot of cheers, but there were plenty of boos and whistles, too (watch the video above). A few cheered when she added: "We don't believe in discrimination ... we believe in freedom and equal rights for everyone." But she got more boos when she mentioned discrimination against homosexuals and others.

Roma, or Gypsies, are a nomadic ethnic group believed to have their roots in the Indian subcontinent. Many of the estimated 500,000 to 2 million in Romania do not have official identification, which means they cannot get social benefits, are undereducated and struggle to find decent jobs. Not that it matters to some.

"I jeered her because it seemed false what she was telling us," 23-year-old fan Ionut Dinu told the AP. "What business does she have telling us these things?"

Hey Ionut, you're the one who paid something like 300 Lei for a ticket. You tell us.

1 dead in Madonna stage collapse in France

A 53-year-old French man is dead after a stage being built for a Madonna concert in Marseille collapsed, CNN reports. A Briton and an American also were severely injured, and four other were hurt at the accident at the Stade Velodrome, fire department spokesman David Goddin said.

 "At this point we don't know how it happened, but we are confident no one else is still under the rubble," Goddin said.

About 27 fire engines and 80 firefighters responded to the scene after the accident happend shortly after 5 p.m. local time.

"There were a lot of open fractures, of injuries, it was a messy sight," a rescue worker told Agence-France Presse in a macabre bit of detail. The concert planned for Sunday has been canceled.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Justin Timberlake will work for Guy Ritchie

It looks like Justin Timberlake will be headed back to the big screen, if Guy Ritchie has anything to say about it. Britain's Sun says the pair shook hands over belts of whiskey at a bar in London on Monday. Apparently JT isn't playing favorites between Guy and his ex-wife.

“Guy and Justin have known each other for a while through Guy’s ex-missus Madonna," a source told the paper. “Guy rates Justin as an actor. He thought he was impressive in Alpha Dog. He likes his personality."

But what kind of project does he like him for? Perhaps another silver screen treatment of Guys and Dolls, or even a remake of the war flick Wild Geese, the Sun says.

“Justin would be ideal for Guys And Dolls because he can act, dance and sing," the source adds. “He would be a great box office draw into the bargain, as well as a safe bet to sell the soundtrack.”

And plus, today's youth are so out of it, you don't even have to explain to them who Marlon Brando, Jean Simmons and Vivian Blaine are (we'll give them credit for Frank Sinatra).

[Photo: JT was in Berlin on Wednesday for the Bread and Butter fashion trade fair. Getty Images]

Madonna awarded adoption rights to Mercy James

We warned you it would happen, and it has. Madonna has won the right to acquire another accessory baby, 3-year-old Chifundo "Mercy" James, the AP reports. Now she has a matching set!

Malawi's highest court overruled a lower court on Friday and said that an old law that requires prospective adoptive parents must live in the country for 18 months prior to being awarded custody is outdated.

"I am ecstatic," Madonna said in a statement. "My family and I look forward to sharing our lives with her."

Madonna's lawyer Alan Chinula said he would now arrange a passport for Chifundo, which could take several days, and was awaiting word from Madonna on travel plans for the girl. We suspect the first stop on a worldwide showoff tour will be to London to show Guy Ritchie.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Madonna may get to adopt Mercy anyway

Three appeals judges have been persuaded by Madonna to let her adopt Malawian orphan Mercy James and -- OH MY GOD does anyone still care about this? Please, let us know so we can stop writing about her and her inferiority complex.

Anyway, for now we'll say that the U.K.'s Sun reports that two judges have submitted reports okaying the sale, uh, adoption, and a third is "in complete unison with them." A ruling is supposedly being announced on Sunday.

Apparently the judges feel that a rule requiring that Madge live in the country for a period of 18 months prior to adopting the little girl is out of date. Because how else will the country get all her money in the form of orphanages and kickbacks to government officials?

[Photo: Madge with son David and designer Marc Jacobs. We wonder how son Rocco feels. Getty Images]

Angelina Jolie bumps Oprah Winfrey on Forbes Celebrity 100

It's time for Oprah Winfrey to call in the spin shock troops, because she's officially been kicked out of the No. 1 spot as the most powerful celebrity in the world on the Forbes Celebrity 100 list. Who is the new top dog in Famousville? None other than Angelina Jolie.

The list, an aggregate of entertainment-related earnings and (more importantly) media exposure, says Jolie's $27 million in the last year and three flicks -- Kung Fu Panda, Wanted and the upcoming Salt -- are waaaay better than Oprah's $275 million from her multimedia empire. We're guessing our numerous items on Angie in the last year are what did the trick.

Rounding out the top five are Madonna ($110 million), Beyonce ($87 million) and Tiger Woods ($110 million). Angie's boyfriend and baby daddy Brad Pitt clocked in at No. 9.

And while the roster includes actors, models, chefs, athletes and musicians, it also includes authors. that earns President Barack Obama a debut spot at No. 49, with $2.5 million in book sales. That gives us hope, indeed.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jesus Luz says he and Madonna are just friends

We just know you've been biting your nails about whether Madonna is really going to marry Jesus Luz, especially after his dad, Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz told a magazine the couple was getting married. But no, she's "just a friend," he told a Brazilian TV show.

"She is my friend, only my friend," he said on Fantastico, the New York Daily News reports. "I cannot say anything more than I don't have plans of marrying her. I can't say if she is the woman in my life."

Madge likely won't cotton to that description. But he doesn't care what the gossipmongers say: "Frankly, I never give importance to what others say about me. They can write that I'm a 'toy boy' or 'boy toy.' And I won't care."

Throw in that Alex Rodriguez seems to have glommed onto Kate Hudson, and things must be pretty lonely for Madonna these days. Sad.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Madonna marrying Jesus Luz, kabbalah-style

Because we all know Madonna would shrivel up and fade away lest she get in the tabloids one every three days, rumor has it she's soon to get married, kabbalah-style, toboy-toy Jesus Luz. Because that really could happen, don'tcha know.

"The kabbalah ceremony will link up my son Jesus Luz and Madonna only confirms that he is extremely happy," Jesus' dad Luis Heitor Pinto da Luz tells Brazil's Quem magazine (via the New York Daily News). But don't buy a wedding gift just yet. "I don't know if there will, in fact, be a real marriage between Madonna and my son. It will be a type of ritual, but I do not know kabbalah (or if the ceremony) will have legal validity."

That's pretty weak, Madge. But there should be some kind of recognition for everything the stallion has done for you, yes? Luis says Jesus has been living in her Central Park West apartment and has been helping with the chirruns.

"She has small children, and Jesus helps her out with various tasks involving all of them," Luis says. "He plays ball with the kids. Jesus has charisma and loves children."

Maybe that's because at 22, he still identifies with them.

[Photo: Getty Images]