Mary-Kate Olsen might be an Emmy contender

In a turn of events that belongs under the definition of "didn't see that coming," Mary-Kate Olsen's name is being tossed around as Emmy fodder for her extended stay on the Showtime comedy Weeds.

The L.A. Times says the network will be putting up hundreds of dollars to enter her in a multi-round nominating process, which involves a popular vote by academy members to winnow the field to 10 finalists, then submitting a sample episode for consideration.

Olsen starred in 10 of this season's 15 episodes as druggie member of the god squad who has the hots for Hunter Parrish's character Silas. That stunt-casting sure goes a long way, doesn't it?

[Photo: AP]

Paris Hilton, Benji Madden at Push in St. Pete

Even The Juice*, which spends a lot of time ignoring the world's fave heihead, admits that we'll always have Paris Hilton. At least, Push Ultra Lounge in St. Pete did on Saturday, when tbt* paparazzo Luis Santana caught her and boyfried Benji Madden stopping in so the Good Charlotte singer and guitarist could take over the turntables at the club.

Paris was in tow, and while we have our well-known Paris ban in place, it's our job to let you know what celebrity news is going on in Tampa Bay. So call us hypocrites -- we'll live. Madden has been taking time off from visiting his famous niece, Harlow (daughter of his brother Joel and Paris frenemy Nicole Richie) to fuel rumors of possibly marrying Miz Hilton, but we're more interested in how their trip to Disney World on Sunday went.

[Photos: Luis Santana/tbt*]

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt want own show

Somewhere along the way, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got the fool idea that people actually care about them (well, to be fair, we are writing about them, so we must think that, too). Either way, the New York Post's Page Six says the pervasive pair are trying to talk MTV into letting them ditch The Hills and get their own show.

Pratt and Montag were overheard at the Kobe Club in New York last week pitching the idea to MTV programming head Tony Di Santo.

"Spencer was saying, 'I want the world to see the real Heidi and Spencer,' and was emphasizing that the show would be just about them. No Lauren Conrad," a source told the tabloid. The focus? The couple's upcoming wedding, natch.

Pratt was "suggesting the show go through the whole lead-up to the wedding . . . finding a wedding planner, hunting for a dress designer, and all the drama that would be part of their wedding plans," the source said.  "The show would be a mix of The Hills meets Newlyweds."

Yikes. We saw how well that plan worked for Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. It's a good thing Heidi has successful music and fashion careers to fall back on. Except the critics are hating both. Maybe that's why a new TV show is so important.

[Photo: A peek at Heidi's new clothing line, Heidiwood, which New York magazine savaged. Getty Images]

Foxy Brown getting out of prison on Friday

Where does the time go? It seemed just yesterday Foxy Brown was being sent up the river for parole violations, but already she's set for a release from Riker's Island on Friday.  But TMZ says it's not going to be a quiet event.

The Web site says the rapper's PR team plans on making it a spectacle, with a press conference and lots of flashbulbs. But the Department of Corrections points out the Riker's parking lot is way too small for that nonsense, so they'll have to do it somewhere else.

That's fair, since inmates usually have to take a bus from the island to Queens and then into Manhattan to meet their families. But Foxy doesn't know from fair -- for the record, she was sentenced to 12 months in September, so we don't know why she's getting out now.

"She did every single minute of her bid in jail, and she did it under the most severe conditions," manager Chaz Williams told Billboard. "They had her on continuous lockdown just because she is a celebrity. They were trying to break her spirit."

Oh yes, she's suffered so much for beating and spitting on salon owners and neighbors. Let's hope her humanity is intact.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Rupert Grint hates mindless L.A. starlets

While Daniel Radcliffe gets all the kudos for the Harry Potter series, let's not forget his sidekick Rupert Grint, who sounds like he's got a decent-sized noodle between his ears. The 19-year-old actor was quoted by Showbiz Spy as saying he won't be moving to L.A., saying Lindsay Lohan is the reason he's changed his mind.

“I met Lindsay last summer and she talked about herself a lot," Grint said. “She said she was going to win an Oscar before she turns 25. I just kept thinking, ‘But you can’t act.’ ” Ouch!

And then young Rupert says something so profound, it has moved us to break our yearlong ban on printing the name Paris Hilton: “I haven’t met Paris and don’t want to either,” he said. “She and Lindsay are the type of girls you need to stay away from.”

With that kind of level-headedness, it's no wonder Grint is winning the attentions of Jessie Cave in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

[Photo: Getty Images]

News flash: Everyone hates Heather Mills

Heather Mills may have been roundly booed by the audience at last weekend's Miss USA pageant, but the producers weren't giving her many cheers, either. The New York Post's Page Six says the ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney almost didn't do the show from Vegas because she got all diva during contract negotiations.

"She flat out refused because of one line," an insider said. "They went back and forth rewriting and finally threatened to pull her from it altogether. She still wouldn't sign it because she wants to get paid if they resell the footage. Her ego is enormous, and it's getting bigger by the minute."

So big, in fact, that the folks who booked her vowed to never again offer her a job. That doesn't bode well for her professed move to States, since Mills said she and daughter Beatrice were moving to L.A. Sources tell Page Six that she's even thinking of hiring Elliot Mintz, former rep for an unnameable heirhead. Look how well that relationship turned out!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Madonna's hometown: Let us honor you!

Madonna may have a chart-topping single, a $120 million deal with Live Nation and a permanent place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but there’s one thing she doesn’t have: A key to the city of Bay City, Mich. Community leaders hope to change that, however, formally inviting their favorite native daughter back home to accept “the highest honor that Bay City can offer,” Mayor Charles M. Brunner wrote in the invitation, according to the Bay City Times. “We have always been proud of your accomplishments.” Really? Back in the '80s, the city shunned the Material Materialist because they didn’t think she had what it took to be a huge star. Funny what a couple of decades being the biggest female musician on the planet will do for your rep. In a line so straight-laced it made us laugh out loud, E! Online reported: “There was no immediate comment from Madonna’s publicist.” No, really?

Your daily troubled starlet update

• Troubled starlet Mischa Barton will plead no contest in her DUI case Thursday, People reports, landing three years of probation, a three-month alcohol education class and a fine of $1,700 — but no jail time. A related marijuana charge will also be dropped.

• Troubled starlet Naomi Campbell has been banned from British Airways after being booted off a flight after a scuffle with a cop, British tabloids said Tuesday. The airline hasn’t confirmed it, and Campbell’s spokeswoman told Reuters, “Naomi has been flying with British Airways for nearly 30 years and has been a good customer. She hopes this can be resolved amicably.”

• Troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan was sued Monday by her former bodyguard. TMZ says David Kim claims LiLo owes him big bucks for unpaid security detail, including driving her around L.A. He wants $55,000; Lohan’s reps had no comment.

• Troubled starlet Britney Spears might be getting into the furniture business. The New York Post says Spears’ dad, Jamie, is trying to make Brit a spokeswoman job for Danish furniture broker Claus Hjelmbak. Hjelmbak denies this (wouldn’t you?) but the Post says a possible deal has been in the works for two months.

• Troubled starlet Pete Doherty has been jailed for 14 weeks for violating his probation and for using drugs, the BBC says. The porkpie-topped “rocker” apparently missed an appointment with his probation team and was late for another. A spokesman told NME that Doherty might appeal the sentence.

• Troubled starlet Amy Winehouse is not in the news today, which is a shame, because we almost had a Troubled Starlet Yahtzee. But we suspect she’ll pop up on TMZ soon enough, freebasing ground-up hippo tusk or some such nonsense.

Rob Lowe gets crazy with the lawsuits

Okay, let’s see if we can make some sense out of this Rob Lowe extortion story. On Monday the actor posted a cryptic missive on the Huffington Post, in which he says an ex-employee was trying to extort $1.5 million from the Lowe family, or else she would accuse them “of a vicious laundry list of false terribles.”

Then things got really crazy.

On Monday, Rob and wife Sheryl filed separate lawsuits against two former nannies and a former chef — whom he alleges had sex on Lowe’s bed and stole prescription drugs. In all, the Lowes are levying several charges including defamation and violation of confidentiality, and they want millions of dollars in damages.

Let’s take this one suit at a time. According to TMZ and People, the Lowes say ex-nanny Jessica Gibson claimed to have “a personal and intimate relationship (with Lowe)”; that she “bragged” about giving Lowe a massage; that Lowe sexually harassed her; and that Sheryl made “inappropriate comments of a sexual and racial nature” to her. (This all sounds bad, but remember: The Lowes are alleging that Gibson is going around spreading all this stuff, which would be defamatory to the Lowes. Moving on.)

In another suit, the Lowes claim former nanny Laura Boyce spread “malicious lies” about the Lowes and used “intimate and salacious” details of her personal life using “profane and vulgar” language.

Finally, the Lowes sued chef Peter Clements, alleging he had sex on the Lowes’ bed “with third parties”; stole pills from their medicine cabinet; broke security cameras; and overcharged them for food. (Okay, stealing pills is one thing, but overcharging for food? That’s the last straw.) Clements told TMZ the allegations were all news to him.

“Everyone knows we live in a time where public figures are targets,” Lowe wrote in his HuffPo editorial. “Well I won’t go away. No one intimidates my family. ... We will defend ourselves with vigor and without fear.”

(Photo: AP)

Naomi Campbell arrested, spits at airport cop

Naomi Campbell's anger management classes apparently haven't been working too well, as the supermodel was hauled away "ranting and screaming" after spitting at a police officer at London's Heathrow Airport today.

The Sun says Campbell was set off by a lost bag in the notorious new Terminal Five, which any globetrotter checking bags can tell you is the airport equivalent of the eighth level of Super Mario Bros. British Airways told her in the first class lounge that one of her three bags hadn't made it onto her flight, sending her into a rage.

She shouted at airline staff even after the flight was called and she walked onto the plane, prompting calls to security. Three officers came onto the plane and tried to calm her down, the tabloid says, but she responded by spitting at one and swinging at the rest, shouting "get off me, leave me alone," earning her a ticket off the flight.

"We can confirm that a passenger was removed by police from a BA flight this afternoon," a Heathrow spokeswoman told the Sun. The flight left more than 90 minutes late, and security likey scrambled to hide their cell phones from that crazy Campbell.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Madonna might want to remake 'Casablanca'

The Juice* is starting to think there is simply way too much Madonna news making its way into our midst, but how about this monument to absurdity? Madonna is scheming to remake Casablanca. And set it in Iraq. And then threaten the world with it in exchange for a bath drawn from the blood of 10,00 fair-skinned virgins, we're guessing.

The ever-reputable Daily Mail says the non-actress wants to hit it big, so why not destroy a cherished Hollywood classic in the process?

"She is still determined to make it in the movies. She and her representatives have been touting around a project which is a remake of Casablanca," a source told the paper. "The reception has been lukewarm to say the least. No one can understand why she wants to redo what many people consider the greatest film of all time."

The source goes on to say she wants to play Ingrid Bergman's Ilsa, and set the as-yet-unscripted flick in war-torn Iraq. At this rate, they'll probably replace Humphrey Bogart's Rick Blaine with Ashton Kutcher and have Sam play some ridiculous medley of Rick Astley songs. That's it; Madge has just got to be Rick Rolling all of us! 

[Photo: With husband-of-the-moment Guy Ritchie. Getty Images]

Jessica Sierra can complete California rehab

This was on our Breaking News blog yesterday, but I was off yesterday and I like to keep the RSS feeders happy. Plus, you people can't get enough of her:

Jessica Sierra’s name came up in court again Monday morning, except this time, it’s not the former American Idol contestant who is causing problems.

According to her attorney, John Fitzgibbons, she “couldn’t be doing any better” in her California drug and alcohol rehab program. But the state of California still is refusing to accept a transfer of Sierra’s probation. They want her to fly back to Tampa, where she has had multiple run-ins with police, and apply for the transfer before they will consider accepting it.

Fitzgibbons blamed bureaucrats for the delay and predicted Sierra, 22, is more likely to relapse if she returns home before completing the rehab program.

Hillsborough Circuit Judge Daniel Perry, it seems, agreed. He put Sierra on “mail-in status,” meaning her doctors will keep Florida authorities updated on her progress. When she is finished, she’ll return to Tampa and the judge will review her probation status at that point.

“I’m glad she’s in California,” her father Joseph Sierra said. “We don’t need her back here.” After last week’s episode of Celebrity Rehab, in which she admits she’ll likely get drunk and arrested upon her return to Tampa, our hearts are breaking.

[Photo: Sierra with Fitzgibbons and Dr. Drew Pinsky on Jan. 7. Getty Images]

Brittany Murphy loves sandwiches, hates crust

Brittany Murphy is having some sort of psychotic break in which she thinks she’s actually important. PageSix.com says the set of her next movie, Across the Hall, “comes to a grinding halt” because of her diva-esque tendencies when she comes to the set.

Apparently her husband, Simon Monjack, is an issue too, skulking around the set and demanding so much that producers are trying to figure out how to intervene.

But the strangest thing? Sources tell the site that Murphy must have “diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with the crusts removed” constantly. “She needs one every hour,” a crew member said. “It’s painstaking — her assistant takes about a half an hour making each one.”

Needing them every hour is one thing — PB&J is good eats — but what’s the deal with it taking some mouth-breathing drool machine 30 minutes to make a sandwich?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Oscar's walk of shame

Well, the Academy Awards may be over (and perhaps not a moment too soon; preliminary Nielsen ratings for Sunday’s ceremony were 14 percent lower than the least-watched ceremony ever — in 2003. But that only means it’s time for the real highlight of Oscar night — shameful, hungover, post-Oscars gossip:

• The most intriguing tidbit of the night comes from People, which reports Sean Penn (who has been separated from Robin Wright Penn for less than two months) popped up with model Petra Nemcova at the Elton John AIDS Foundation party. Nemcova told People that she and the actor “are friends,” and that Penn is an adviser to her charity, but the mag says they’ve been spotted together around town.

• Turns out we weren’t the only ones wondering why the late Brad Renfro didn’t merit a mention during the Oscars’ In Memoriam segment. Radar Online even asked why the Apt Pupil star got the shaft. “Unfortunately, we can’t fit everyone in,” a spokesperson told Radar, adding that Renfro died too late to make the cut. But wait ... didn’t Renfro die a week before Heath Ledger, who made the cut? Radar suspects the omission had more to do with the fact that Renfro died from a heroin overdose, as opposed to Ledger’s OD from prescription pills. “There’s no specific reason,” the spokesperson reiterated. “Unfortunately, he was edited out.” Also edited out, apparently: Charles Nelson Reilly, Joey Bishop and Marcel Marceau.

• What, exactly, was the deal with Gary Busey getting all Gary Busey with Ryan Seacrest and Jennifer Garner on the red carpet? Busey himself called Seacrest’s radio show Monday morning to explain. “I just wanted to pay you a compliment,” he said. “I didn’t know you were in the middle of an interview, and I was just moving through there.” What was that compliment, exactly? “You are to me, when you’re working, an innocent champion of honesty,” Busey told Seacrest. “Your heart has a way to embrace the truth in your delivery, without looking like you’re reading from a script.” Okay then. Moving right along.

• The most questionable faux paw of the 2008 Oscars (and that includes the horrible pun we just made) might have been Sharon Stone’s decision to wear a broach made from a rat’s paw to the Elton John party. PETA, of course, didn’t like the ratly accoutrement, stating: “Her accessories these days are as dead as her career.” Um ... snap? Here's a pic:

• Juno scribe Diablo Cody got all (insert hipster-gibberish word for “angry” here) over allegations that she was too cool for shoes — namely Stuart Weitzman’s million-dollar, diamond-encrusted heels. Cody (at right, with Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead director Edgar Wright) took to her MySpace blog to explain why she turned down the chance to wear diamonds on the straps of her shoes: “I must have somehow missed the part where my shoes cost a MILLION F------ DOLLARS and my 'choice’ of footwear would be publicized nationwide,” she typed. “I honestly thought they were just sparkly shoes. ... I’m not Nancy Rockman, Expert Gemologist.” To summarize: Diablo Cody doesn’t hate diamond shoes. You may now exhale.

• And finally, here’s the obligatory review of Jon Stewart’s performance as Oscar host, in seven words or less: “frisky,” (New Orleans Times-Picayune) “dependable,” (Boston Globe), “fair-to-middling,” (Washington Post) and “mostly winning” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette). Confused? Don’t worry, these post-awards-show host reviews are all pointless anyway.

(Photos; Penn/Nemcova, AP; the rest, Getty Images)

Jeffrey Ross on the Dana Jacobson Incident

Jeffrey Ross isn’t one to mince words -- which made him an ideal choice to emcee ESPN’s roast of Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg on Jan. 11. But it wasn’t the veteran standup, comedy's "Roastmaster General," who made headlines afterward -- it was ESPN First Take host Dana Jacobson, who unleashed a drunken tirade against Notre Dame and coach Charlie Weis. Snapshots of Jacobson brandishing a bottle of vodka quickly made the rounds online, and she was suspended for a week by ESPN. Tbt* caught up with Ross, who’s performing at the Tampa Improv from Feb. 28-March 3, and asked for his take on the Jacobson incident. (For the full interview, pick up next Friday’s tbt*.)

Roasting was in the news recently, where Dana Jacobson got in trouble for getting hammered and screaming obscenities about Notre Dame at the Mike and Mike roast. You, in the articles that I saw, were cited as a guy who could have gotten away with it. She was suspended for a week. Fair or not fair?

Yeah, that was an interesting turn. Fair or not fair? I would say not fair. Because what happens at a roast stays at a roast, especially at a private, un-televised roast. And you can't send people onstage with a microphone and booze and not expect somebody to have too good a time.

To his credit, Charlie Weis was a great sport, and he seemed to be okay with it. I was exceptionally vicious on him. And he was laughing his boobs off. I mean, he’s a big man. I called him the Lunchback of Notre Dame. I said, "What happened, Charlie? It looked like you put on all your freshmen's 15." And he loved it, because I took the time to write good stuff about him.

Dana was sort of on a rant, and wasn't particularly interesting, wasn't funny, was arguably tragic. Eddie Griffin handed her a bottle of Grey Goose, and she was just drinking it right out of the bottle -- which, normally, at a roast, would be a lot of fun. You want a chick like that at a roast! She was our Courtney Love for the night. But unfortunately, she got punished, and I think it wasn’t necessarily fair. Probably appropriate, but not fair.

Is there a lesson that comes out of this?

Leave the roasting to the professionals. This is like driving a race car. This is not for amateurs.

Amy Winehouse video under police scrutiny

Well, that trip to rehab Amy Winehouse took with her father Mitch on Tuesday lasted all of two hours, the Daily Mail reports. The paper says she spent a couple hours at the facility but didn’t check herself in.

Apparently her bad habits have returned with her beehive, and Scotland Yard is looking into that video (above) from the Sun of her allegedly smoking what the kids call the crack rock, the AP says.

“Officers will be reviewing the footage and will then assess the footage and ascertain whether any action is to be taken,” a police spokesman said.

Her “friends” aren’t too happy about the footage, and say she was set up by the tabloid. Well, duh. “She is a recovering addict and if someone waves temptation in her face, she is not yet strong enough to say no,” a source told the Daily Mail. She also apparently can’t say no to ballet shoes, hair dye and anorexia.

Paula Abdul freaks out in L.A. airport

Paula Abdul is keeping it real as we get ready for another season of American Idol — real dramatic, that is. Radar Online says the hysterical judge spazzed out at LAX over the holidays, providing a pretty entertaining description.

“She had an insane nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes,” a source said about her rage against the Continental Airlines machine. “One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the next she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled ‘Poltergeist’ voice. She kept screaming three names over and over — Michael, Sidney and Leslie. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn’t care.”

Too bad Hey Paula won’t be back to show us what was going on. Or whether Michael, Sidney and Leslie are real people or just in her head.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jessica Sierra avoids prison for more rehab

From our Breaking News blog:

VH1's Dr. Drew Pinsky came to town Monday to plead with a judge to allow fallen American Idol Jessica Sierra to go to a treatment center instead of prison. Circuit Judge Daniel Perry said he was reluctant to approve of such a situation but ultimately decided to allow Sierra to head to California for a residential treatment program.

He also extended her probation for 24 more months, bringing it to a total of three years following her yearlong treatment.

Sierra will undergo one year of treatment at the Pasadena Recovery Center. Pinsky --  host of Celebrity Rehab, a VH1 show that has featured Sierra --  said Sierra is an addict who really needs "sustained, intensive and highly monitored treatment."

The judge said he is tired of Sierra's problem being glamorized and said she was not to allowed to use treatment as a stepping stone to a career. "I don't want her getting interviewed. I don't want her on TV. I'm over that," Perry said.

He told prison loomed if she didn't complete her treatment. "Either you finish it on your first try or you are going to prison.

"Stay out of Ybor City."

[Photo: Sierra in 2005. Getty Images]

Kim Kardashian, Reggie Bush might be engaged

We still fail to see what Kim Kardashian has really done to make her worth writing about, but reputable rag Ok! is saying that she and New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush are engaged. As in, to be married.

The pair were in South Beach on New Year’s Eve while Kim hosted Tanqueray and Ciroc New Year’s Bash, and although she wasn’t wearing a fresh rock, she made perhaps the most ironic statement by a pseudo-celebrity, ever: “One thing I did learn from ‘07 was to try to keep it as private as possible so I’m trying to hold that close to my heart but I’m here with everybody that I love.”

Never mind she had a sex tape, was in Playboy, has an awful reality show on E! and basically whores it up for paparazzi cameras everywhere at the drop of a hat. Did she have anything to do with the 22-year-old Heisman trophy winner’s injury-shortened season? We’ll probably see the tape soon enough.

[Photo: Kim and her sister Kourtney. Getty Images]

Mischa Barton ditches gig, can't escape Vegas

Despite Mischa Barton's insistence that she would host the grand opening party for the CatHouse nightclub in the Las Vegas strip's Luxor over the weekend, Barton decided that may not have been the best idea and pulled the plug, E! Online reports.

Well, officially it was the lounge that said she was no longer wanted. "Because of the media attention currently surrounding Mischa Barton, CatHouse has decided it is best for all parties involved that Mischa does not appear at tonight's grand opening," a statement from CatHouse read Saturday.

But that doesnt mean she's off the hook. "Mischa did not show up last night as expected," a rep for the club said. "She still has to honor her contract, and what happens next remains to be seen." So a DUI means she only can postpone her next drunkfest.

Mischa Barton won't let her DUI end her party

Mischa Barton may have been arrested for DUI last week, but that won’t keep her from hosting a New Year’s celebration in Vegas, Us says. “

We are aware of Mischa Barton’s incident last night, but at present she is still expected to host the CatHouse grand opening at Luxor Las Vegas on December 29th,” a rep for the new lounge said. “We will let you know if anything changes.”

Since Barton was busted for weaving in her car while toasted and had some weed and pills on her (so says the L.A. County Sheriff), perhaps hanging out in Vegas on the drunkiest night of the year isn’t the smartest thing to be doing.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Turns out Tony Parker was right after all

Only now, after the holidays take a quick breather before plunging headfirst into New Year’s, can we relate the latest about Alexandra Paressant, the so-called model who claims basketball star Tony Parker cheated on new wife Eva Longoria with her after meeting at the couple’s wedding.

People’s Dana Kennedy wrote on the Huffington Post that she did some digging and found several holes in Paressant’s story — namely that she made the whole thing up, uses pictures of other models and claims they are of her (including the ones on her MySpace profile, which is now set to private), pretends she is other people and is frankly off her rocker.

Kennedy said that after calling Paressant several times, the woman said she was going public with her “affair” after Parker insisted they have a menage a trois with Paressant’s friend, “model” Ornella Irie. Problem is, when Kennedy called Irie, it was obviously Paressant answering the phone.

Not only that, but she apparently fakes being her own agent, under the name Olivia Ducreu, and photos Paressant says are of herself are actually similar-looking, real models — including German model Hana Nitsche (pictured), who was apparently the one used in pics Paressant sent to X17 claiming to be evidence of an affair.

But had we just paid attention to the French press, the alarm bells would have gone off sooner. Mag SO FOOT has been following the tale of the girl from Le Creusot since she claimed she was marrying soccer god Ronaldinho, saying so on forums and sending out faked photos so much that the gossip mongers started to think it was true. Ronaldinho finally sued her in 2006 for saying the pair were up partying and having wild sex every night during the World Cup, despite the fact they’d never met.

So what lesson have we learned? We all should pay more attention to soccer, of course.

[Photo: Getty Images]

FLASH: Britney and Jamie Lynn don't get along

Speaking of headline-grabbing pregnancies, the New York Post’s Page Six answers the question you’ve all been asking: Why didn’t Jamie Lynn Spears tell big sis Britney about her pregnancy? (Well, we know the obvious answer, but the Post’s sources try their best to get paid.)

“Jamie Lynn has a very soft personality,” the oft-quoted unnamed source says. “She loves Britney, not Britney’s temper.” So apparently Brat scares her little sister; how does that affect their kinship, you wonder?

“Their relationship is estranged,” the source says. “Jamie Lynn does not recognize Britney as the sister she grew up with, so she has gone to her friends, her boyfriend and her mom when she needs someone.” Sounds like she went to her boyfriend for a few too many things. So, once again, it's all Britney's fault!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jamie Lynn Wombwatch: Day 3

News continues to trickle out regarding the stunning up-knocking of 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears. Us magazine got in on the fun by checking in on Jamie Spears — who split from Mom of the Year Lynne in 2002 — and he’s apparently not happy. The mag says he’s “furious” that Lynne and Jamie Lynn (couldn’t these people come up with a less confusing name?) sold their story to OK! magazine. “He put his foot down and refused to take any money and 'profit off his children,’ a source said. “Lynne didn’t care.” He also reportedly “feels Jamie Lynn ruined her life.”

Meanwhile, could churchgoing boot-knocker Casey Aldridge be in trouble with the law? The 19-year-old (or 18-year-old, depending on who you believe) babydaddy-to-be could theoretically be charged with “felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile,” Us says, since Jamie Lynn is only 16. No complaints have been filed and there is currently no criminal investigation. (Life & Style says the happy parents to be are actually on the rocks; Access Hollywood, meanwhile, says they wanna get married, like, so freaking bad. The lesson, as always: No one knows anything.)

Finally, in the midst of all this chaos, MSNBC.com decided to get the opinion of the one celebrity we all wanted to hear from in this mess: Ashlee Simpson, herself the troubled little sis of a blonde former teen pop star. Ashlee’s been working on her new album Outta My Head for a year, and was supposed to debut a new video on Wednesday. Unfortunately, Casey Aldridge’s seed got in the way, costing her a shot at the spotlight. “Ashlee can’t believe this happened,” a source tells MSNBC.com. “She’s so disappointed.” Indeed — Ash had already fallen behind Drew Lachey on the fame charts; now she’s being bumped from the front pages by Jamie Lynn? If she wants to get back in the limelight, she’d better get Pete Wentz to knock her up, and fast.

(Photo: Getty Images)

UPDATE: Wino's dad hates on Doherty

If Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty ever accidentally hooked up, the British tabloids would probably close up shop and call it a day, figuring no story could ever top that. Sadly, it’ll never happen — not if Amy’s dad has anything to say about it. “He’s a scumbag,” Mitch Winehouse told Grazia magazine. “I flipped when I saw him sitting with Amy backstage at her Brixton gig. That night I went crazy. My wife thought I was going to have a heart attack. I was apoplectic.” Daddy Winehouse said he wasn’t a fan of Amy’s marriage to currently incarcerated Blake Fielder-Civil, but that he has supported it. “And he’s shown while he’s been in prison a level of maturity that he didn’t have before,” he said. Prison will do that. But the real question is, will Amy ever actually go to rehab? “Believe me, my first instinct is to get hold of her, pick her up and take her back to my house and lock her away,” Mitch said. “But I’ve spoken to the finest drug counselors in the world, and they’ve said that is exactly the wrong thing to do.”

***UPDATE!!!***

Amy was arrested Tuesday in connection with an investigation into “perverting the course of justice,” British authorities said. (We’ll pause a minute to let that one sink in.) You’ll recall that Fielder-Civil is currently being held on similar charges, such as “conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.” No word on whether Amy’s arrest is related to Blake’s case, Reuters said.

(Photo: AP)

Breaking: Pam Anderson, Rick Salomon divorcing!

Also breaking: Our hearts. Because we could have sworn this marriage made in sex-tape heaven would have lasted longer than Pam Anderson's three-month marriage to Kid Rock. But it appears her Vegas wedding to Rick Salomon wasn't meant to be, either. Anderson filed for divorce Friday in Los Angeles, and she's asking for spousal support -- after only 72 days of wedded bliss. TMZ (citing CelebTV) says Anderson won't comment.

***UPDATE!!!***

What's all this, then? Appaerntly, TMZ says Anderson and Salomon are trying to reconcile. They were seen shopping together on Sunday, and a post on Anderson's blog says: "We're working things out." These crazy kids, with their sex tapes and their kooky concepts of the holy tradition of matrimony!

(Photo: Getty Images)

Reese Witherspoon vs. Vince Vaughn: This is also on!

It just wouldn’t be Friday without a new A-list feud to keep you on your toes this week. The New York Daily News apparently flicked on the Celebrity Feud Generator and pulled out the names Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn, who are supposedly fighting on the set of their upcoming movie, Four Christmases. Word is the type-A Reese has blasted Vince for being unprofessional. “Vince rolls onto set in the morning looking like he just came in from a night out, while Reese will arrive early looking camera-ready,” a source says. “Then Reese tries to force Vince into blocking out each scene and running through their lines as Vince tries to convince her that he’s an ad-libber and wants to play around and see where a scene goes.”

(Photos: Getty Images. Photo illustration: Yo.)

Hulk vs. Rosie: It's on!

Memo to Hulk Hogan: You don’t need this. Your son’s in trouble, your marriage is on the outs, and you’re about to host American Gladiators. Why do you want to sink even lower by picking a feud with Rosie O’Donnell? Hasn’t Trump already been there, done that? At a press conference Thursday, when asked which celebrity he’d most like to see get worked over by a Gladiator, he said: “Without a doubt Rosie O’Donnell. Somebody needs to shut that big mouth up.” Rosie quickly retalliated on her blog: “Hulk Hogan, the wrestler guy, wants to pummel me. Isn’t that sweet and wildly odd. It’s like a gang of gross guys, a club almost, dumb, white and on TV.” (We love how she classified Hogan as “the wrestler guy,” as opposed to Hulk Hogan, “the Russian literature guy,” or Hulk Hogan, “the nanotechnology guy.”)

(Photos: Getty Images; photo illustration, yours truly)

Liza collapses onstage

Liza Minnelli (above, in kookier times) collapsed on stage a few songs into a performance in Stockholm and taken to a Swedish hospital before being discharged on Thursday, a concert promoter told Reuters. Minnelli collapsed during a Christmas show Wednesday night and fell off the side of the stage but was caught by a technicias, said Michael Silfverskiold, a local promoter. “It was a terrible situation,” said Silfverskiold. “She fell off the side of the stage. The production manager caught her.” She was discharged from the hospital Thursday morning and flown back to the United States, Silfverskiold said.

(Photo: AP)

PETA, PETA, Olsen beaters

Proving that animal-rights defenders really do like critters more than people, PETA has called the emotionally fragile Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen the “Trollsen Twins” for wearing fur and including it in their fashion collections. “Thin-twins Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are about to get some publicity that will have them running away faster than if they’d spotted a calorie,” the oh-so-sensitive group said of clinical anorexia sufferer M-K and her sister “Trashley.”

Say it with us: ZING!

By the way, the top photo is of Mary-Kate; the inset is of Ashley. Start debating which one looks more like an extremely thin deer caught in some extremely thin headlights ... NOW!

(Top photo: Getty Images. Inset: AP.)

Naomi Campbell mugged at Led Zep?!

As the rave reviews poured in for Led Zeppelin’s concert Monday night in London, one odd tidbit stuck out like a sore thumb. Fox News’ Roger Friedman reported that Naomi Campbell, who watched the show from a luxury box, was mugged. Friedman says he saw Campbell fighting with security guards; then she told him: “Someone stole my handbag. It had two phones in it!” TMZ.com, though, isn’t buying it, reporting that Campbell did misplace her BlackBerry, but didn’t report it stolen. (Maybe she hurled the BlackBerry at rowdy fans down in front? Just sayin’.)

(Photo: AP)

Steven Tyler's gal pal throws down

And to think: It could have happened in Tampa! Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler’s girlfriend got into a catfight with a Native American woman at Pangaea, a trendy nightclub at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino down in Hollywood. The New York Post says Tyler’s g-f, Erin Brady, got mad when a Seminole woman tried to take a picture of Tyler. “Next thing everyone knows, the two girls are going at it,” a witness tells Page Six. “Scratching, hair-puling, hitting. It lasted about six seconds, then security broke it up. Steven got up to try to pull them apart, but it happened so fast, he really didn’t have time to do anything.” Said a club spokeswoman: “Nothing like a catfight and an aging rock legend to make an evening entertaining.” Indeed. Now how can we get Joe Perry to try something like this at Floyd’s?

(Photo: AP)

"Why yes ... yes, I do." -- Janice Dickinson

Just when the world has recovered from the Jennifer Love Hewitt butt-flab brouhaha, a new weight-related question has been tossed into the zeitgeist: Is Tyra Banks fat? During an appearance on Today on Monday, Janice Dickinson told Al Roker that Hewitt “is a healthy, not emaciated woman,” but then added: “You want to see someone who’s fat? I’m sorry, Tyra. Tyra Banks is fat.” Like a knight in a shining raincoat, Roker leaped to Banks’s defense, and Dickinson backtracked. “I’m kidding, because I love Ms. Banks,” she said. Regardless, much like a baseball player named in connection a steroid scandal, Banks’s name has now been dragged through the fat-mud, meaning a chubby little asterisk will accompany the Top Model host wherever she goes in life. Is she fat? Is she skinny? We may never know the truth.

(Photo: People/PR Newswire)

Wino's mom: Let us help you, dear

The latest proud graduate of the Lynne Spears-Dina Lohan School of Parenting, it seems, is Janis Winehouse. Reuters reports that Amy's mom penned a letter to a British tabloid over the weekend begging the famously drug- and booze-addled, Grammy-nominated songstress to return to this happy little place we call reality. (Because, you know, a tabloid is the best place for a mother-daughter connection.) "We want to help you, but we know that unless you want to be helped -- unless you come to us -- anything we tried would be in vain," Janis wrote in the News of the World. "I pile hope upon hope that your strong will can bend for just a moment to make that decision and come home to me." Janis referenced recent pictures of a distraught Wino wandering the streets of London in only a bra and jeans. "All I wanted to do was rush into those pictures and wrap you up in a big, warm blanket," she wrote. "Early fame has overwhelmed you, it's dizzied you and muddled your mind. For a moment, forget you're a superstar. You're also young and vulnerable, no stronger than any of the rest of us. You think you're strong enough to get through this on your own, darling, but you're not."

(Photo: Getty Images)

Victoria Beckham's breasts may have shrunk

London’s Daily Mail is in tune with the latest in hard-hitting news, so while Melanie Brown was busy losing Dancing With the Stars, they went on an investigative spree looking into the size of Victoria Beckham’s breasts.

Posh’s appearance on the Fox show caused a stir when sharp eyes noticed that her assets seem to have shrunk, leading to rumors that she’s had her breast implants removed. Shocking! We’ll leave it to Juice*heads to decide, but we present this photographic evidence of Vicki in June (at left) and on the DWTS set Tuesday night. Frankly, we’re undecided.

“I would say she is not wearing the push-up bra she normally wears,” her publicist said, “but I have not seen the pictures and I have no idea.” We have an idea that she no longer looks like a toothpick with two beach balls stapled to it, so either way it’s a good thing.

[Photos: Getty Images, AP]

Lindsay Lohan's boyfriend goes out partying

While The Juice* has been hawking “Save LiLo” buttons in our online store (see right), we’re honestly happy to hear that 21-year-old Lindsay Lohan really seems to have taken her last round of rehab to heart, as noted by her virtual absence from our daily sleaze report.

But while Linds spent the Thanksgiving holiday in group therapy and out shopping with her whole family, the New York Post’s Page Six says her latest crush (and fellow rehabber) Riley Giles was MIA most nights. Giles had come out to Long Island to “meet her friends and family,” a source said, but apparently spent his nights out in the club scene, which can’t be good for his addictions, let alone Lohan’s.

“Riley was not very well behaved when he came back to New York with Lindsay,” a friend told the tabloid. “He was out every night without her, and I’m not sure how much longer that relationship is going to last.” If his idea of rehab is going out partying, maybe it’s best for LiLo if the relationship doesn’t last.

[Photo: AP]

Dueling Lindsay mug shots

In the wake of yesterday's harrowing 84-minute jail sentencing, we present Lindsay Lohan's new mug shot. On the left is her old one, and on the left is her new one. What do you think, Juicers -- is Lindsay's November mug shot an improvement over her July mug shot?

Cast your vote for Ms. July (left) OR Ms. November (right) in the comments!

(Photos: AP)

Oscar de la Hoya's panties in a bunch

So remember a while back when all those kinky photos of Oscar de la Hoya in girly underpants and fishnet body stockings started making the rounds on the Interwebz? (If you didn't see them, trust us, you don't want to Google them.) The Golden Boy cried Photoshop on the images, which seemed to make sense to everyone in the world -- except the woman who supplied the photos. Now Milana Dravnel is suing de la Hoya for $100 million for claiming the pictures are fake, thereby ruining her chance to sell the pictures for big bucks. Dravnel, a Siberian stripper at Scores in New York, says de la Hoya wore a thong, high heels and stockings under his own shorts, and liked her to call him "Goldie." "It was for laughs," Dravnel told the New York Post. "I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I don't believe he's gay." Her lawyer added: "This is a serious case! ... He's gonna want to settle it."

(Photo: AP)