Paula Deen talks about catching ham with her face

We're still on Paula Deen watch here at The Juice*; We've been really bummed out since she got sideswiped by an 8-pound ham at a charity food drive on Monday. But Paula being Paula, there's no hard feelings.

"It was the guy's first day. I went to toss a ham like a football," she told Extra. "He didn't know how I normally do things, and I guess he got excited and got caught up in the moment because as I turned around to get more hams off the truck, this guy yells... and I turn around just in time to catch the ham in my face!"

To be fair, she didn't really catch it -- more like it bounced off her face like a missed field goal hitting the upright. She got some ice on it, though, and what she thought was a broken nose left only a small red spot.

The ham-tosser "felt so bad," Deen said. "I felt probably worse for him than for myself being his first day on the job. [But] accidents just happen. That's why they're called accidents. The doctor checked it and she said I was fine. I didn't even go the hospital."

Notice she doesn't name the poor sap. We all know our gracious land of helpful and understanding Americans would immediately phone in death threats for hurting a 62-year-old Food Network star. Ah, Thanksgiving!

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Oprah Winfrey not planning 'Favorite Things' episode

Were you hoping for a "Favorite Things" episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show this week? Too bad -- she doesn't seem to be doing one. What will people swoon and scream for on her show now?

The annual holiday episode, in which Winfrey touts material possessions she enjoys as part of a lavish lifestyle her fans can only dream about, is off the table for 2009, a Harpo employee told the Huffington Post. That means no audience members will be getting camcorders or PJs.

"We have no plans this season for a 'Favorite Things'," the source said. Indeed, this week's episodes include a visit to Walter Reed Army Hospital and a bunch of recipes. That's not even as good as last year's ho-hum thrity episode, in which she featured cheap or homemade gifts. We can't drive any of those things, O.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Adam Lambert gets kicked off Good Morning America

If you thought Adam Lambert's groin-grabbing, boy-kissing, fellatio-simulating act at the American Music Awards would cause him some problems, you're right. He's already been dropped from a scheduled performance Wednesday morning on ABC's Good Morning America. Who knew he made the network mad?

“Given his controversial American Music Awards performance, we were concerned about airing a similar concert so early in the morning," and ABC spokewoman told the New York Times. Yeah, that kind of thing can only happen if he's performing after 11 p.m.

Don't you worry about Adam, though; He's already been picked up by CBS to do an appearance on The Early Show. They don't think 8 a.m. is too early for slapping dancers on the ass.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Adam Lambert not sorry about simulating oral sex, kissing guy at American Music Awards

As you could see, The Juice* pretty much ignored the American Music Awards Sunday night, since it's historically been the Grammys Lite of the entertainment world, but we still saw Adam Lambert's raucous performance to close the show. And according to the ratings, so did 14.2 million others. Just don't ask him to apologize for it.

The 27-year-old's rendition of his For Your Entertainment featured Adam grinding a male dancer's head into his crotch to simulate oral sex, a lot of groin-grabbing and a moment to smooch keyboardist Tommy Ratliff (watch it on video above, if ABC hasn't taken it down yet). And while lots of critics freaked out as he flipped off the audience -- it was edited in the West Coast feed of the show -- Lambert said y'all just need to deal.

"I believe in artistic freedom and expression, I believe in honoring the lyrics of a song, and those lyrics aren't really for everybody either," he told Access Hollywood, saying he thought editing his performance discrimination. "There's a big double standard, female pop artists have been doing things provocative like that for years, and the fact that I'm a male, and I'll be edited and discriminated against could be a problem."

In fact, he added, his being gay and acting like it just points out there's something wrong with everyone else.

"People are scared and it's really sad," he said. "I just wish people could open their minds up and enjoy things, it's all for a laugh, it's really not that big of a deal."

He did add to Rolling Stone that the kiss with Ratliff wasn't clear, but just one of those heat-of-the moment things. ABC said it had received about 1,500 calls from viewers to complain about the performance, a response the network called "moderate." 

It was still way more interesting than the supposed other big moments of the night, like Lady Gaga playing a piano that was on fire and Jennifer Lopez's supposed big stage slip, which was barely noticeable in a rather ho-hum performance. Maybe more entertainers need to blow the fact that they're gay way out of proportion.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Oprah Winfrey says talk show will end in 2011

We don't want to say we told you so, but way back on two weeks ago we said Oprah Winfrey's talk show may be shutting down as the most influential female entertainer in the universe focused on her new network. So Juice*heads shouldn't have been surprised when she announced Friday that her last episode would end on Sept. 9, 2011, the AP now says. That's just in time for the 25th anniversary!

"Twenty-five years feels right in my bones and feels right in my spirit," she said, noting prayer and careful thought led to her decision."... I certainly never could have imagined the yellow brick road of blessings that have led me to this moment."

Winfrey didn't offer any specifics on what would happen once she moved over to the Oprah Winfrey Network, but we're willing to bet she'll have some other kind of show. You think she makes money by doing nothing? Meanwhile, the rest of the show's lifespan won't disappoint, she promises.

"Over this holiday break, my team and I will be brainstorming new ways that we can entertain you and inform you and uplift you when we return here in January," she said. "And then, season 25 -- we are going to knock your socks off."

That can only mean one thing: Eating contests, monster truck rallies, fireworks and nonstop NASCAR!

Pamela Anderson had to tell her kids about Tommy Lee sex tape

The grandmammy of all sex-tape mistresses finally has to pay what she owes, as Pamela Anderson confesses she had to tell her two kids about her celluloid shenanigans with then-husband Tommy Lee. Gee, mom, we'd rather talk about menopause than to hear about this, they said.

Anderson said during an interview with British talk show host Jeremy Kyle that her boys Brandon, 12, and Dylan, 11, are finally of the age where things like her background in videography are coming into play, the New York Daily News reports, especially since it was mention in 2006's Borat.

"I knew kids were going to watch the film and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," the 47-year-old said. "I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.' "

Since all the kids have iPhones these days, we doubt they'll just hear about it. Although, it's been a long time since 1998, so maybe 12-year-old boys aren't as into porn as they used to be. Oh, who are we kidding?

[Photo: When your mom looks like this, you're probably not surprised by much. Getty Images]

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Rihanna may have a thing for 90210's Tristan Wilds

We're closing in on a year since Chris Brown savagely attacked Rihanna, so it must be about time to hear if she's ready to date again. Forget the Justin Timberlake rumors; The New York Daily News says she's taken a shine to 90210's Tristan Wilds.

The 20-year-old actor showed up at a party Rihanna was hosting over the weekend at her L.A. home before leaving for London, and guests noted the sparks were immediately noticeable.

"No one knew why Tristan was there initially, because it was not an industry party — it was very intimate," a source says. "But everyone quickly realized they weren't meeting for the first time, because they were openly affectionate for everyone to see."

In fact, the pair met when a music producer introduced them. Wilds starred in The Wire and Jay-Z's Roc Boys video, and is working on an album of his own, which is a prerequisite for young actors these days.

"He's a real gentleman," the source adds. "She likes him a lot, and it shows. From the moment he walked into her party, Rihanna lit up."

The affection is only supposed to get more intense, the source promises: "They're already planning to use iChat and Skype to stay in contact until Tristan finishes shooting 90210 for the season and can fly out to meet her on the road." Good, that'll keep us busy here at The Juice* for a spell.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Tila Tequla sues Shawne Merriman for abuse

In an incremental legal update, reality TV princess Tila Tequila is suing ex-boyfriend and San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for domestic abuse, the AP reports. The penalty for allegedly choking a 100-pound MySpace mistress, according to the suit: $1.5 million.

Merriman was arrested on Sept. 6 after Tila (nee Tila Nguyen) signed a citizen's arrest warrant accusing him of battery and false imprisonment at his home. Merriman, 25, countered he was trying to protect Tila -- by throwing her to the ground and holding her down to prevent her from leaving. She might have been drunk, but Meriman's lawyer won't say that was the reason.

This civil suit is the result of local DA Bonnie Dumanis not filing charges against Shawne, despite the fact that he weighs in pretty close to three bills, and probably didn't have to force Tila to the ground to stop her, let alone allegedly choke her. We think it's entirely possible all those steroids Merriman's been taking may have clouded his judgment.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Gossip Girls: Blake Lively's breasts build buzz

If you were paying attention to coverage of the premier of The Private Lives of Pippa Lee in New York on Saturday (and really, who didn't?), you may have noticed Gossip Girl star Blake Lively's ensemble (far left), if only because of what wasn't there.

New York magazine's Jessica Pressler noticed, too, writing: "The assets Lively flaunts most flamboyantly are not on her head: They're on her chest. ... Regarding her bisque-colored, seemingly nippleless boobs, rounding like Barbie's out of her tiny jacket, we realized we'd seen those things before. Many, many times. Clearly, Lively, who has said she does not employ a stylist, is trying to make Abundant Cleave her look."

The Juice*'s crack investigative team looked into it for a whole seven minutes and realized that yes, the 22-year-old has a penchant for plunging necklines. Above you can see here on the red carpet at the Emmys (second photo), at an after-party for the same event (third) and at a fashion show in September (last). What do you expect from the star of a show that touted a threesome as a big ratings draw?

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Levi Johnston 'did not go full frontal' for Playgirl

Sorry to disappoint all five of you Levi Johnston fans, but he doesn't go full-frontal in his nude photo shoot for Playgirl. That's fine, we've already seen quite enough of him as it is, thank you.

"Although Playgirl is ecstatic with the footage of the Levi Johnston shoot, and viewers are going to be pleased and surprised, Levi did not go completely full frontal, as was suggested by his camp a few weeks ago," magazine rep Daniel Nardicio tells Us. "Levi looks great in the shoot, and was a consummate professional, and we look forward to releasing the photos very soon."

Levi isn't ready for his 14th minute to end quite so soon, manager Tank Jones says, telling Us: "People need to wait. I was on the shoot. I know what was shot."

That tells us only one thing -- something wasn't what Playgirl had hoped. Perhaps the size of his ... ego?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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