Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty are a bit off

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty sure are spending an awful lot of time together lately. What with Pete's release from jail and the cops dropping drug charges against Wino (that's like dropping bright charges against the sun), the two are rampaging throught the streets of Olde London Towne.

But what's most frightening is a video of the pair that has ended up on YouTube showing Amy playing with a litter of baby mice and a kitten while Pete runs a camera. That's right, it's as bizarre as it sounds. There's really no point to any of this, other than the two may or may not be stonked in someone's house, but you can't help but feel none of those poor animals are going to meet a good end.

UPDATE: Here's another one, in which Amy uses a mouse baby to plead with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil not to divorce her. Someone please call the police.

Marissa Miller named Maxim's sexiest woman

About a month ago FHM said Megan Fox was tops on its list of the 100 sexiest women in the world, so fellow lad-mag Maxim needed to get in on the act. So it named Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover girl Marissa Miller the best on its ninth annual Hot 100 list (Megan manages a meek 16, sad to say).

She's not letting it get to her head, though, dismissing her career as just so much cotton candy: “I get a kick out of it, but it would be stupid to let it go to my head," she said. "It’s modeling—I didn’t find the cure for cancer.”

Following her in an appropriate 2-3-4 were Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel and Eva Longoria, followed by a misplaced No. 5 in Sarah Michelle Gellar. After her was Elisha Cuthbert (whom we haven't follwoed since she got her finger cut off in House of Wax), Eva Mendes and Christina Aguilera.

In ninth was Lindsay Lohan, showing how trustworthy the voting was, with new-nosed Ashley Tisdale rounding out No. 10. The big surprise was No. 19, Britney Spears, who got the mercy 100 spot on FHM's list. That Maxim spot goes to Tila Tequila, who will probably do something else wild 'n' crazy to boost her self-esteem over it.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Source

Jimmy Fallon will take over for Conan O'Brien

We tried and tried to believe it wasn't so, but apparently it's true. Jimmy Fallon will be taking over for Conan O'Brien when the big C takes the reins at The Tonight Show. NBC announced the deal at a press conference on Monday, with Lorne Michaels saying the changeover will occur "sometime in '09," the AP reports.

Apparently there's plenty of backroom deals going on to try to keep Jay Leno on NBC and not on some other network.

"We love Jay and want to keep him around," NBC Entertainment co-chairman Ben Silverman told Entertainment Weekly. Just not on the little screen so many people watch, we guess.

As for what Fallon's show is going to be like, he says he's been doing standup routines a lot lately to get into shape. That beats listening to him sing parody songs and watching him mug for camera all night long.

"We're not going to reinvent the wheel," Fallon said. "But when Conan took over for (David) Letterman, he wasn't Letterman. Oh, and all the furniture will be suspended six feet in the air."

See? He's trying too hard already.

[Photo: AP]

Source

Mary-Kate Olsen might be an Emmy contender

In a turn of events that belongs under the definition of "didn't see that coming," Mary-Kate Olsen's name is being tossed around as Emmy fodder for her extended stay on the Showtime comedy Weeds.

The L.A. Times says the network will be putting up hundreds of dollars to enter her in a multi-round nominating process, which involves a popular vote by academy members to winnow the field to 10 finalists, then submitting a sample episode for consideration.

Olsen starred in 10 of this season's 15 episodes as druggie member of the god squad who has the hots for Hunter Parrish's character Silas. That stunt-casting sure goes a long way, doesn't it?

[Photo: AP]

Katherine Heigl might still try to leave 'Grey's'

That Katherine Heigl is moving right along on her path to being a chain-smoking superstar movie diva, but she's decided there's one big obstacle -- a little TV show called Grey's Anatomy. Us Weekly says Heigl is looking to ditch the show, not even 15 months after renegotiating her contract.

“She's working really long hours and is ready to move on,” a source tells the magazine. But it's got to be more than just the hours; we hear she's been in a couple movies called Knocked Up and 27 Dresses, which might have been sorta successful.

“She’s a smart one. She saw what can happen with someone like Jennifer Aniston, who was crazy successful on TV, but can’t seem to carry a film, and she tested the waters early,” a movie industry source said. Take that, Aniston!

But don't expect her to get out of that contract anytime soon. She's likely locked in since she wanted such a big raise. Be careful what you wish for, Katie!

[Photo: Getty Images]

This is even better than that time ...

... (fill in the '80s reference of your choice here. We'll go with Teeny Little Super Guy.) Seth MacFarlane, the do-it-all smartmouth behind Family Guy, American Dad and the forthcoming Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show, is about to become one of the richest dudes on TV. The Hollywood Reporter says MacFarlane has inked a deal worth $100 million that'll keep him at 20th Century Fox TV through 2012. Yes, that makes him the highest paid writer-producer (and actor, if you want to get technical) on television. Higher than Matt Groening. Higher than Simon Fuller. Higher than J.J. Abrams. Higher than Jerry Miller, creator of Farmer Wants a Wife. (Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?) Suffice it to say, MacFarlane will never again have to hump anyone's leg to get a dry martini around here.

(Photo: Getty Images)

Let's watch Gary Coleman on 'Divorce Court'

In case you missed Divorce Court yesterday, and won't be catching it today, here's Gary Coleman making us wish for the old Diff'rent Strokes days. Shannon Price looks like she does, too.

Mariah Carey also one of Time's most influential

Speaking of Mariah Carey, Mimi has made it onto Time's list of the world's 100 Most Influential People, because she can command a 17-carat ring from a guy who was in Drumline, apparently. Joining Carey are Miley Cyrus, Robert Downey Jr., Herbie Hancock, directors Joel and Ethan Coen, Bruce Springsteen, Mariah Carey, George Clooney, Tyler Perry, Brangelina, Oprah Winfrey and Chris Rock.

Stevie Wonder writes the profile on Mariah, saying he's rewriting a song for her that's going to be a tribute to his mother. That's pretty cool. Of course, what does it say when Mimi is sharing a list with the likes of the Dalai Lama and Rupert Murdoch?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Video shows Ashley Dupre gave 'GGW' consent

We let the news side handle word that Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, was suing Girls Gone Wild creep Joe Francis for $10 million after she claimed she was only 17 when video of her was shot. She was accusing Francis of exploiting her image and name on the Internet. But we'll report that the joke's on her, though -- Francis and Co. have produced video of her confirming her age and giving a fake name, the AP reports.

Dupre is shown in a towel telling an offscreen questioner that her name is Amber Arpaio. "Do you know what Girls Gone Wild is?" the questioner asks. "Yes I do," she replies with a laugh. "Can I use this on Girls Gone Wild?" she is asked. "Of course you can," Dupre answers. The video also displays a New Jersey driver's license with the Amber Arpaio name and a birth date that would have made her appear to be in her 20s. Oops.

Her lawyer and PR firm wouldn't return calls from the AP, probably because they're too busy trying to beat some sense into her. You can find the AP video by clicking here.

[Photo: AP]

Kate Hudson face of People's Most Beautiful

It's time to feel bad about yourself again, because People's 100 Most Beautiful issue is on its way to newsstands. The cover girl is Kate Hudson, which we can't argue with, but the list has a few interesting choices.

Besides the usual roundup of big names like Salma Hayek, Carrie Underwood, Halle Berry, Julianne Moore and Mary J. Blige, People picked a couple people whose careers have gathered strength as of late, like Patrick Dempsey and Christina Applegate.

There were celeb couples, too, like Eva Longoria and Tony Parker, and Jessica Alba and Cash Warren, and some surprises in Sarah Silverman and Rumer Willis, who says "I grew up with a mom that most moms don't look like." That's fine, because she doesn't look like Demi Moore, either.

Other names included Isla Fisher, Zoe Saldana, Vanessa Hudgens, Taylor Swift, swimmer Amanda Beard and the Miami Dolphins' Jason Taylor. Oh, and the entire cast of Gossip Girl: Blake Lively, Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick, Jessica Szohr, Penn Badgley, Leighton Meester and Taylor Momsen. Too bad nobody's watching the show to see all those hot folks.

Fresno baseball team ribs Team Miley over pics

There's not much more on the Miley Cyrus front today so far, but the Visalia (Calif.) Times-Delta sure knows how to have fun with a stupid situation. After the craziness surrounding the 15-year-old's Vanity Fair shoot, the Fresno Grizzlies are having a laugh at dad Billy Ray Cyrus' expense.

The minor league baseball team is offering a "Hanna Montana Ride Your Kid's Coattails Night" on Wednesday. Parents who bring an award their child has won will get a $1 ticket to the game. You know, like a perfect-attendance award or a swimming medal, the paper clarifies.

“We’re distraught about the negative publicity that Miley Cyrus has recently received and terrified that this may impact the resurgence of Billy Ray’s career,” said Scott Carter, Vice President of Marketing for the Grizzlies. Hope Billy Ray can take a joke. But who cares? Baseball for a dollar!

[Photo: Getty Images]

A Jimi Hendrix sex tape isn't really a surprise

For all the people out there who think modern-day celebs are responsible for the downfall of modesty, consider that we've already heard all about a supposed Marilyn Monroe sex film. Next on the list of possibly guilty icons: Jimi Hendrix.

The New York Times says Vivid Entertainment plans to release a 45-minute DVD called Jimi Hendrix the Sex Tape, with a whole 11 minutes of a man resembling the guitar great and two brunettes. (The rest is a retrospective of his career, minus any music, 'cause you've got to pay for that.)

The man's face is only seen for a few seconds, but he's wearing the familiar bandanna and Afro, so that solves the case, doesn't it? If you feel like getting ripped off, Vivid is selling the DVD for $39.95, either in stores, on the Web or as a download. If you want to buy, we trust you're the type who knows how to find it.

Cheri Oteri's father was stabbed to death

The father of Saturday Night Live's Cheri Oteri was allegedly stabbed to death by country songwriter Richard William Fagan Saturday night.

The AP says 69-year-old Gaetano Thomas Oteri was stabbed by the 61-year-old, who is listed as a co-writer on hits by singer John Michael Montgomery, including Sold (the Grundy County Auction Incident), Be My Baby Tonight, and I Miss You a Little. He was charged with criminal homicide on Monday.

Police say Fagan and the victim, who was Fagan's music associate and publisher, were roommates in Nashville. The Tennessean newspaper says Fagan was arrested Saturday night for a DUI. He told Police that he had fought with Gaetano (known as Tom) around 9 p.m., using a pocket knife to cut Oteri's wrist before leaving. Gaetano was discovered dead by EMTs on Sunday.

[Photo: Getty Images]

'Speed Racer' could be really good ... or bad

Ali Dee and the Deekompressors are in charge of the theme song for Speed Racer, and this video features a lot of action. After watching it about five times, we've come to the conclusion that it just may be too much like the cartoon for its own good. But we're still seeing it.

Mariah Carey is all caught up during 'GMA'

Don't dare make mistakes around divas, friends and neighbors, lest they eat you alive. Such is the case with Mariah Carey's performance on Good Morning America on Friday morning (see video below).

While Mimi looks H-O-double-T in a pink minidress, things got off to a bad start right after her introduction, with the track of backing vocals for Touch My Body starting a wee early. But here's the funny part: About three minutes in, she turns and stares at a backup singer, working the line "Stop singing my part now baby" into the lyrics. Bam!

After the performance the diva smiled and announced to the crowd she tries "to bring something new to the moment every time." Yeah, like threatening her lackeys live on national television. Hey, the song does say she'll hunt you down.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien in '09

In a move that will guarantee The Juice* will sleep better at night, the Hollywood Reporter says Jimmy Fallon has signed on to replace Conan O'Brien in 2009. And by sleep better, we mean that's because we won't be watching TV after 12:30 a.m. anymore.

NBC is expected to announce the move May 12, but sources say Fallon and Late Night executive producer Lorne Michaels will start assembling a team to take over once Conan moves to The Tonight Show to fill Jay Leno's shoes.

Sure, Fallon stepped in for David Letterman back in 2003, but if his Weekend Update stint on SNL proved anything, it's that he has a hard time keeping a holding an audience. Maybe he can just sing those goofy, Weird Al Yankovic-style songs every night.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Montag can't take Spencer anywhere

You can never trust anything going on at the White House Correspondents dinner these days, especially after someone was dumb enough to ask Stephen Colbert to speak. But the latest did-they-or-didn't-they tale comes at Heidi Montag's expense.

The New York Post's Page Six says Montag had been invited to this Saturday's fete by MSNBC, but decided to turn it down when boyfriend Spencer Pratt couldn't get his expenses paid for. "He demanded first-class tickets for both him and Heidi -- even though he wasn't invited," a source says. The alleged reason he gave? "It wasn't 'A-listy' enough," the source added.

Really? Don't tell Pamela Anderson, actress Kerry Washington or artist Jeff Koons at Bloomberg LP's table. Or celeb couples Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner with Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at ABC News' table. Or Time Style & Design's invites to Donatella Versace and Rupert Everett. And scattered across the room will be the Jonas Brothers, Hayden Panettiere, John Cusack, Claire Danes, Rob Lowe, Marcia Cross and Tracey Ullman.

No, not "A-listy" at all. Of course, MSNBC denies the invite at all, so what can you believe?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Miley Cyrus is writing her autobiography

That MIley Cyrus sure is branching out, moving from a teen pop star and teen actor to a teen writer. Ok! says the ubiquitous 15-year-old has decided to write an autobiography.

Well, not all by her lonesome, of course. Much like her music and acting career, she's going to be relying on a ghost writer to put all one-and-a-half sassy decades in print. It's all part of a "very hush-hush" multimillion-dollar deal with Disney books, an insider says.

"The plan is to move her away from Hanna Montana. She's outgrown it," the source tells the mag.

Outgrown it? The show has only been on since 2006! Did Gary Coleman outgrow Diff'rent Strokes after two years? Did Michael J. Fox outgrow Family Ties after two years? Did Mayim Bialik outgrow Blossom after two years? Sure, they didn't have instahits playing on Top 40 radio or hosting gigs on country music shows, but darn it, they stuck with it!

[Photo: With her older half-sister Brandi, who probably wants her own show, too. Getty Images]

Angie Harmon gets naked in 'Allure' shoot

Once upon a time, Angie Harmon was everywhere, what with marrying then-New York Giants cornerback Jason Sehorn and starring in Law & Order. Then she kinda disappeared for awhile, starring in things that made us wish A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael was back (Agent Cody Banks, anyone?).

But now that she's starring in Women's Murder Club she's got to do something to get that media attention back. How about taking naked photos in Allure? That's what she and a few others did for the mag's May issue.

But it's not about the sex, oh no: "It's about showing the female body in a positive, beautiful way," Harmon told Allure.

She's joined by Gabrielle Union, Zoe McLellan, Ana Ortiz and Jill Scott, who boasts, "Here I am, naked in a magazine at size 16 ... We are all beautiful, each and every one of us." Wait, what was the message here?

Martha Stewart says goodbye to Paw Paw

In keeping with an apparent theme of sad news in today's Juice*, we say goodbye to Martha Stewart's dog, Kublai Khan Paw Paw Chow Chow Chow. The 60-pound chow was almost 13 when he died of renal failure on Saturday.

"Paw Paw was a spectacular chow and an even more spectacular dog," Stewart wrote in a blog post. "He was always my loyal companion, displaying the most agreeable temperament."

Not only did the blog post mourn his passing, it showed several photos of poor Paw Paw with all the friends in his life, including Stewart's other dogs, Francesca and Sharkey, who paid their final respects to the chow before he was "laid to rest amidst the crocus and greening grass" on her upstate New York property.

Why do we feel like more people care about this than Cameron Diaz's poor dad?

[Photo: AP]

Have you ever seen a naked cockatoo?

Oscar needs a tiny sweater.

Jason Beghe doesn't like Scientology anymore

Warning: Video contains profane language.

Jason Beghe isn't exactly a household name, but he is one of those actors who make you think "Oh, that guy" when you tick off his resume: Demi Moore's beau in G.I. Jane, a bunch TV shows like Criminal Minds, CSI and Numb3rs, and even David Duchovny's best man in his wedding to Tea Leoni, But now you can add ex-Scientologist to that mix.

Fox News' Roger Friedman says Beghe, who has been taking church courses since 1994, has made a YouTube video about his experiences now that he's gotten out, claiming, "Scientology is destructive and a rip-off."

The three-minute video (shown above), in which he declares the church "ain't deliverin' what it's promised," is a teaser to a longer video coming soon. Beghe says that he achieved "Operating Thetan Five," a level similar to folks like Tom Cruise, Kirstie Alley and John Travolta. But Beghe wasn't too impressed.

"It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution," he says on the video. "I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s f---ed up."

And blowing cash on courses is a big part of the problem, he adds: "The further up the bridge, the worse you get."

We can't say for certain why Beghe chose now to put Scientology in the crosshairs, but The Juice* will follow up when the full video is released.

UPDATE: For reasons not entirely clear, xenutv1 has had his YouTube profile yanked. Let the conspiracy theories begin.

At least Miley Cyrus made more than that dog

Get ready for Sunday's annual "What People Earn" issue of Parade -- or, as we like to call it, the annual "hate your life and the rest of the world" issue.

The big surprise (or is it?) is that cover girl Miley Cyrus raked in $18.2 million, which we hear is a lot of scratch for your average 15-year-old. That's more than Jessica Alba's $9 million and even Katherine Heigl's $11 million.

Making more than Heigl was Leona Helmsley's dog, Trouble, which was a $12 million beneficiary after Helmsley's death. That's also the same amount Ryan Seacrest made, who we're betting does a little more actual work than that pooch.

Other big-ticket celebs featured: Dr. Phil McGraw, with an unbelievable $90 million; Steven Spielberg, who made $110 million; Mariska Hargitay and Carrie Underwood, both with $7 million; Jeff Foxworthy, topping off at $10 million; Mary-Kate Olsen, who managed $17 million; Gisele Bundchen, raking in $33 million; Scarlett Johansson, whose arty projects limited her to $5 million; 50 Cent, who earned $33 million; and the queen bee herself, Oprah Winfrey, who collected a cool $260 million.

Meanwhile, The Juice* is happy to hear it will be double coupon day at Winn-Dixie soon.

Katie Couric might be getting fired by CBS

Believe it or not, The Juice* reads the Wall Street Journal at stately Juice* Manor, so we were pretty surprised to see Katie Couric may be shown the door long before her contract at CBS Evening News is up in 2011. How early? Try the January presdential inauguration.

It seems the low ratings for the nightly show and her estimated $15 million per year salary are joining with cost-cutting at CBS for a perfect storm that would result in a pink slip for Katie. No way, says CBS: "We are very proud of the CBS Evening News, particularly our political coverage, and we have no plans for any changes regarding Katie or the broadcast," a network spokeswoman told the Journal.

Even Couric says she's "working hard and having fun," so what's the big deal? Well, those third-place ratings have a lot to say about the 51-year-old anchorwoman. But don't cry just yet -- the Journal suggests she might be in line to replace Larry King when his CNN contract expires in 2009.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Daniel Radcliffe's 'Equus' coming to Broadway

Are all you Harry Potter fans jealous that stagegoers got to see Daniel Radcliffe in the buff and you did not? First, gross! Second, here's your chance to see him bare it all Stateside.

Reuters says Radcliffe will reprise his role in Equus for a 22-week run on Broadway. That's a bit of a longer stretch than the eight weeks he played the role in London last year. It'll be the first revival of the Peter Shaffer play on Broadway since its 1974 debut (the show ran until 1977).

Joining 18-year-old Danny will be Harry Potter cohort Richard Griffiths, who was in the London show and played Uncle Vernon in the movies. Now that the kids who grow up with Harry are old enough to see this play, we're expecting a lot more scarred psyches in the future.

[Photo: Handout/AP]

New Kids, STP are back; Tom Cruise is WAY back

Three dates you need to know:

• May 17 That’s when the reunited New Kids On The Block will play their first gig in 14 years, at New York radio station Z100’s annual Zootopia concert, Billboard reports, alongside Miley Cyrus, Jordin Sparks, the Jonas Brothers and others. Who’s more excited about this news, your 13-year-old neice now, or your 13-year-old self in 1990?

• Aug. 22 Days after he was kicked out of Velvet Revolver, Scott Weiland has reunited with Stone Temple Pilots — and they’re embarking on a summer tour. On Aug. 22, that tour hits the Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa, reports MTV.com. An on-sale date for tickets has not been announced, but you’d better catch 'em while you can — every show could end up being Weiland’s last.

• Feb. 13, 2009 Tom Cruise’s Nazi-hunting eye-patch epic Valkyrie has again pushed its release date from Oct. 3 to Feb. 13, which is President’s Day weekend (!) and Valentine’s Day weekend (!!). This, after already being pushed back from Independence Day weekend (!!!). Because we all know that the combination of Tom Cruise, Adolf Hitler and eye patches is both patriotic and romantic.

(Photos: AP)

Clooney: 'Head writer?

The Writers Guild of America was lampooned last week on South Park, and now they’ve made another powerful enemy: George Clooney. Clooney wanted a credit on the script for Leatherheads, after he claims he basically rewrote much of Rick Reilly and Duncan Brantley’s 17-year-old script. (Side note: Are you sure your want your name attached to that bomb, George? Just checkin’.) Variety says the WGA denied Clooney’s request, and so Clooney protested the only way he knew how: by scaling back his Guild membership to something called “financial core,” which means he’s still technically a member, and can therefore work on WGA-approved productions, but that’s about it. Otherwise, he said he would have quit the Guild entirely. “When your own union doesn’t back what you’ve done, the only honorable thing to do is not participate,” Clooney said. Even more amazing? This whole imbroglio went down before the writers strike last fall, and Clooney chose not to publicize it, because he didn’t want to hurt the Guild’s position. And then they go and do him like this?

(Handout photo)

'Idol' gives back, gets A-list power

The worlds of Hollywood, music, reality competition television and self-congratulatory feel-goodery collided Sunday night at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, where American Idol taped its star-studded 'Idol Gives Back' show. Among the celebs on hand: Brad Pitt, Billy Crystal, Fergie, Carrie Underwood, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman, Miley Cyrus, Fergie, Heart, Snoop Dogg, John Legend, David Spade and many others. Last year's "Idol Gives Back" raised $76 million for underprivileged children; this year organizers hope to raise $100 million for a slew of charities, including the Global Fund and Pitt's Make It Right campaign. The show airs Wednesday, but here's a sampling of some of the stars on hand...

Miley Cyrus

 

Brad Pitt

Eli and Peyton Manning

Billy Crystal

Carrie Underwood

Fergie

(AP photos: Idol judges, Miley Cyrus, Brad Pitt. Getty Images: Mannings, Billy Crystal, Carrie Underwood, Fergie.)   

Celeb sightings at the Grand Prix and Final Four

Despite hosting a pair of high-profile sporting events, the Tampa Bay area was surprisingly light on celebrity action this weekend. Miss America (above, with Charlie "Mr. America" Crist) was in town for the Honda Grand Prix of St. Petersburg, and so was Gene Simmons (below, with the private plane that brought him here). Paul Newman, whose driver, Graham Rahal, won the race, was rumored to be in town, but alas, t'wasn't to be. Finally, we present to you a photo of Danica Patrick eating an energy bar, because why not.

Meanwhile, over in Tampa, the celebrity action was even lighter. Aside from the star power on the court, celebrities were few and far between. If you're going back on Tuesday, the concourse outside the ESPN setup seems to be the best place to spot players and coaches. We spotted ESPN's Stacey Dales, Stanford's Candice Wiggins and Tara VanderVeer, and Tennessee men's coach Bruce Pearl hobnobbing with fans there. A lot of the Forum's luxury boxes appeared to be dark and empty.

The biggest star in the house might have been the Stanford Tree, a.k.a. Patrick Fortune, a 21-year-old Stanford junior. The Juice* got to hang with Fortune, who seemed like a pretty cool conifer.

But after meeting the tree, we realized something amazing -- Stanford's upset victory over UConn was portended (in a way) by none other than Christopher Walken on this past weekend's Saturday Night Live.

Plants with googly eyes -- you just can't trust 'em.

(Photos: Grand Prix, Luis Santana/tbt*; Bruce Pearl, Carrie Pratt/St. Pete Times; Tree, Jay Cridlin/tbt*.)

Richard Simmons cleans up Jimmy Kimmel

How Jimmy Kimmel's name isn't getting tossed around to replace Jay Leno, we have no idea. No offense, Conan O'Brien. Anyway, at least he's not doing unspeakables to Richard Simmons, like he did with Ben Affleck.

Angelina Jolie acted like a 16-year-old model

There's really no debate these days about Angelina Jolie's near-regal bearing, saving the world one child at a time as she is. But once upon a time she was a pouty lipped 16-year-old trying to make it modeling, and that qualifies as a sex scandal, according to InTouch Weekly.

The cover of the latest ish shouts "what she said during the shoot was even more shocking" -- except all she said to photographer Sean McCall and crew (as shown in this video) was that she liked fencing, boxing and collecting weapons. Whoop. As for the photos, they merely show Angie wearing bikinis and odd bodysuits, and really are nothing to write home about, save bragging rights that you're a creep who ogles 16-year-old girls.

After Jolie made Gia, which is full of nudity and lesbian liasons, she pretty much made sure there was nothing else left for her to try on film. That must be what that vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood and the makeout session with her brother were about.

Jay Leno sorry about Ryan Phillippe gay jokes

Jay Leno didn't impress too many folks in the gay community last week by asking Ryan Philllippe to make his "gayest look" while the actor was being interviewed on The Tonight Show last week. But after GLAAD got all up in his grill, the late-night host has coughed up an apology, Us reports.

"In talking about Ryan's first role, I realize that what I said came out wrong," said Leno, whose yakking spawned the hilarious (and sorta NSFW) www.mygayestlook.com. "I certainly didn't mean any malice. I agree it was a dumb thing to say, and I apologize."

Leno had pointed out on the show last Thursday that Phillippe's first role was as a gay teenager on One Life to Live, and asked Ryan, "Can you give me your 'gayest look?'

"Say that camera is Billy Bob -– Billy Bob has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming," Leno went on.

"Wow," Phillippe replied. "That is so something I don't want to do."

The Juice* thrives on controversy like this, so we have to ask, do you think Jay went to far?

A video break: Kanye West's 'Homecoming'

Kanye West's new video for Homecoming is out now, with Coldplay's Chris Martin throwing in some backing vocals and a looping piano track. About all we can say is, it's like an iPod commercial gone awry. With black and white fireworks! Awesome!

Kenan Thompson's pal arrested for marijuana

We're trying to bring you (mostly) newer faces to The Juice*, so let's try on Kenan Thompson for, ahem, size. The Smoking Gun says the Saturday Night Live staple narrowly escaped arrest Wednesday when New Jersey cops pulled him over for allegedly driving erratically and found a bunch of weed.

Bernards Township police stopped a white Escalade after getting a citzen complaint about the driver, which was Thompson. When the 5-0 got up to the car, the officer smelled the Mary Jane. Passenger Kyle Mosley, who owns the car, handed over a pack of cigarettes with a half-smoked joint.

A search turned up two small baggies of weed and some rolling papers in Mosley's pocket. Luckily for Thompson, Mosely claimed "sole ownership" of the trees, earning him charges for possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia. Kenan got off with careless driving, which is a lot better than the careless acting he's been doing since, well, Good Burger.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Britney Spears on 'How I Met Your Mother'

If you didn't watch it last night, here's pretty much every onscreen appearance by Brit-Brit:

CBS cancels Jericho, twelve people are upset

You can mail in as many peanuts as you want, but CBS is showing Jericho the door no matter what.

The season finale of the post-apocalyptic drama starring Skeet Ulrich and Lennie James will air Tuesday, laying to rest the show's seven-episode second season, the Hollywood Reporter says. Jericho was resurrected after fans mailed thousands of bags of peanuts to CBS, playing off a line in the first season's final episode.

The show's producers shot two endings for Tuesday's episode -- an open-ended storyline that would have led into a third season and a more conclusive ending that will wrap things up. Guess which one is getting used?

"Without question, there are passionate viewers watching this program," CBS said in a statement. "We simply wish there were more." Bam!

Frankly, The Juice* wishes it had a Nielsen box on its TV: The only thing on television would be Good Eats, America's Next Top Model, English soccer and reruns of Girlfriends.

[Photo: Ulrich with Esai Morales. Getty Images]

J.K. Rowling says she thought about suicide

Who knew crippling, suicidal depression was the creative spark J.K. Rowling needed to create a multi-billion-dollar empire?

The 42-year-old author recently opened up to a Edinburgh University student magazine, the BBC reports, detailing the dark period in her life before starting the Harry Potter series. She said she contemplated suicide in the early '90s after being separated from her first husband, Jorge Arantes.

"We're talking suicidal thoughts here, we're not talking 'I'm a little bit miserable," Rowling told 22-year-old student Adeel Amini. "Mid-twenties life circumstances were poor and I really plummeted."

Rowling said she had to ask friends to help pay the security deposit on her apartment -- the same one where she would begin writing Harry's adventures.

"The thing that made me go for help was probably my daughter (Jessica)," Rowling said. "She was something that earthed me, grounded me, and I thought, this isn't right, this can't be right, she cannot grow up with me in this state."

Happily, J.K. found a therapist and was able to go on to buy and sell whatever emotions she wants.

[Photo: Getty Images]

'Chocolate Rain' wins some pointless award

Tay Zonday took home another, ahem, honor by claiming best music short in the second annual YouTube Video Awards.

"It's the new Emmys," Zonday, 25, told the AP. "It's the next Oscars. The next People's Choice Awards. It'll be interesting to see what happens five years, 10 years (from now)."

We don't know about all that. Seriously, we thought those awards had been given out already, but it turns out we were just remembering when YouTube released its numbers for 2007's most-watched videos. That would explain why Obama Girl Amber Lee Ettinger lost out to avaaz.org's Stop the Clash of Civilizations video in the politics category.

But those were only two of the 12 winners, picked from six nominees in each of a dozen categories. The most shocking (or is it?) is Chris Crocker's snub for his "Leave Britney alone" ramblings. He lost out Michael Buckley's What the Buck? episode ripping on Lonelygirl15, which makes a lot of sense when you pause to consder all Crocker did was smear on guyliner and cry a lot.

The other winners (really, it's surprising how many of these have been on the blog):

• Best short film: Ben Shelton's My Name is Lisa

• Most inspirational video: The Texas Country Reporter's blind painter

• Best sports video: Balloon Bowl

• Most adorable video: The Laughing Baby

• Best instructional video: Dan Brown's How to Solve a Rubik's Cube (Part One)

• Best Web series: The Guild

• Best eyewitness video: Battle at Kruger (which beat out "Don't Tase me, bro," btw)

• Best comedy video: Neil Cicierega's Harry Potter with hand puppets

• Most creative video: Guillaume Reymond's Human Tetris

'South Park' examines Britney Spears mania

Didja catch South Park last night? In an episode after The Juice*'s own black hearts, the gang follows Britney Spears around after she blows out her dome, leading to further scrutiny from her so-called fans and those lampreys called paparazzi. Really, does it sound so improbable?

Oh, and yeah, don't click on this unless you want to see a cartoon Britney Spears shoot herself. (And for some reason, Red Lasso clips aren't showing up in Firefox, so my advice to you is, get a new browser.)

Some details about new 'Beverly Hills 90210'

Thanks to Variety, we now know some details of the alleged Beverly Hills, 90210 spinoff. Even though the CW hasn't given the show the go-ahead, we do know there will be some effort to make it a wee bit more racially diverse.

It will focus on the family of Tabitha Mills, a sexagenarian actress fighting alcholism by living in a posh Hills estate. Sounds tough. Her son Harrison, who graduation from Beverly Hills High in the '80s, moves back to the famous zip after living in St. Louis for years.

With him comes his Olympic athlete wife, Celia, who can't wait for California. Of course they have two bratty 16-year olds, emo daughter Annie and bad boy adoptee son Dixon. Hilarity ensues.

Other characters that show times have changed include Daphne Silver, Annie's friend, who has a crush on Dixon and hosts her own YouTube series, and Max Silver, Daphne's brother, who manages the family movie theater at the local mall, which no doubt is replacing the Peach Pit.

And let's not forget Navid Shirazi, the producer of the school's video newscast; Ethan Ward, the jock of the group; and Naomi Bennett, Ethan's hot, rich girlfriend. It's good to see the show won't rely on cliched characters.

Ashley Dupre was a hit on 'Girls Gone Wild'

Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Ashley Alexandra Dupre (nee Kristen the call girl) got her career off to a raucous start in Miami by letting Joe Francis' Girls Gone Wild crew shoot plenty of film, PageSix.com says.

Her debut apparently was in Spring Break 2005: Anything Goes, a collection actually shot in 2003 that shows Dupre gyrating in a bikini and trucker hat in a room full of drunk college students before things take a decidely skimpier turn.

And never one to let an entrepreneurial opportunity pass him by, the recently freed Francis' Web site boasts about seven tapes of material from the Emperors Club's main event, including the obligatory girl-on-girl action. Dupre had apparently lived on the GGW bus for a week after getting kicked out of her hotel room.

Francis was apparently about to offer the now-22-year-old $1 million to appear in a non-nude spread in his new magazine, the AP says, but after a quick archive check they found they had all the footage they needed.

"It'll save me a million bucks," Francis told the AP. "It's kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch."

There's a catch, though: Before the company can put all the footage on their site and charge you $29.95 per month for it, they're investigating claims by Dupre's lawyer, Don Buchwald, who tells TMZ that Ashley's birthday is April 30, 1985, which would make her only 17 in the footage, which was shot between March 13 and March 20, 2003. Whoops.

But no worries, Joe says that Florida and federal laws allow her to be filmed in any state of undress as long as she consents and there is no sexual contact. And it's really creepy that he knows that.

[Photo: Screen capture from GirlsGoneWild.com footage via AP]

Oh, and here's some video, too:

Kristin Davis denies rumors she's in a sex tape

Rumors abound all over the internet that Sex and the City’s Kristin Davis has a sex tape and is the subject of all sorts of NSFW photos being plastered on the Web (that’s what Google is for, folks), despite the actress’ rep denying it’s Kristin in the images.

The purported tape is being shopped around by a California broker no doubt hoping to cash in on the buzz surrounding Sex and the City’s silver screen debut on May 30, TMZ says. The sales pitch is that it’s Davis with an ex-boyfriend five years ago, and the seller has leaked 20 pics from the shoot as proof.

“This is not a photo of Kristin Davis,” the actress’ rep says. “There is no sex tape.” True, it doesn’t quite look like her, but it would be a good marketing tool to get people aware of the movie’s release. Just saying ... "sex" is right in the title, after all.

[Photo: Getty Images]