Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty are a bit off

Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty sure are spending an awful lot of time together lately. What with Pete's release from jail and the cops dropping drug charges against Wino (that's like dropping bright charges against the sun), the two are rampaging throught the streets of Olde London Towne.

But what's most frightening is a video of the pair that has ended up on YouTube showing Amy playing with a litter of baby mice and a kitten while Pete runs a camera. That's right, it's as bizarre as it sounds. There's really no point to any of this, other than the two may or may not be stonked in someone's house, but you can't help but feel none of those poor animals are going to meet a good end.

UPDATE: Here's another one, in which Amy uses a mouse baby to plead with her husband Blake Fielder-Civil not to divorce her. Someone please call the police.

Madonna hearing delayed, defends Britney

As if any of you actually cared, but a ruling whether Madonna was allowed to keep her adopted Malawian son David Banda was delayed yet again Thursday.

A judge's decision was supposed to come down, but lawyer Alan Chinula said the proceedings were delayed after a local human rights group argued about "shortcomings" in the nation's adoption laws, the AP reports. Chinula said the group wasn't challenging Madge's adoption.

Meanwhile, in a subject closer to our sphere of influence, Madonna was telling the BBC that people shouldn't blame Britney Spears for being the way she is.

"I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she was never allowed to have a childhood," Madonna told said in an interview. “She didn't get to grow up and make mistakes privately and try things out and just be a kid and be innocent. She's been watched, judged and been under a microscope since she's been a teenager. It's hard to evolve that way."

We're willing to go out on a limb and say Madge knows what she's saying when she's talking about modifying one's image. Tha must be why she's also planning to open a girl's school in Malawi. Oh come on, Oprah Winfrey tried that in South Africa and look what happened!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Source and source

Remy Ma gets 8 years in prison for shooting

Not one to let Foxy Brown or Lil Kim get all the publicity for prison time, Remy Ma was sentenced to eight years in the cooler Tuesday for shooting a woman at an NYC club, the AP says. The 26-year-old rapper (nee Remy Smith) was convicted for assault, weapon possession and attempted coercion for shooting Makeda Barnes Joseph over some cash last July.

"I feel so bad for all the physical and mental pain you've gone through," Remy said to Makeda. "This has taken a toll on us and both our families. I would never wish you harm and I pray the best for all of us." No, never wish her harm, but she sure as heck caused some harm.

The fun didn't stop there, though, when rapper Papoose started shouting "All you want is money!" at the victim in the hallway and had to be escorted out of the courthouse, all the while ranting "Lock me up! Lock me up!" Papoose, a.k.a. Shamele Mackie, keeps threatening to marry Remy, so imagine how fun those family gatherings will be.

[Photo: AP]

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Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz wed on May 17

In a desperate attempt to make Ashlee Simpson's baby legitimate, she just might be marrying Pete Wentz this Saturday in secret, Us says. Oooo, we can't wait to see if we're on the guest list!

The pair, who have been engaged all the way back in, um, April, will be having a rehearsal dinner -- "an intimate affair" for "family and close friends only -- on Friday, which isn't shocking. Isn't that what rehearsal dinners usually are? Anyway, guests are being transported back in forth in shuttles, presumably to keep prying eyes away (and make sure they reach the mothership safely).

"Proper invites have not been sent out but instead guests have been given a save the date notice," a source told the glossy. So, people got a note saying be somewhere at a certain time on May 17, do we have that right? What makes that different from an invitation?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Kim Kardashian says Nick Jonas is a hottie

Nick Jonas, run for your life: Kim Kardashian thinks you've got the goods. The reality show princess told People that she thought "Nick is so cute" backstage at KIIS-FM's Wango Tango concert Saturday while the brothers played onstage. But don't call boyfriend Reggie Bush just yet.

"I don't think Reggie will get mad because (Nick) is, like, 15," the 27-year-old said. "I really shouldn't say that he's cute. It's a little inappropriate! They're adorable." Yeah, you wouldn't want to start rumors that you'd do something inappropriate with a member of the opposite sex or anything -- especially when they're prone to wearing abstinence rings.

[Photo: Kim with her family and Ryan Seacrest on Saturday. Getty Images]

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DMX arrested again, now for animal cruelty

Days after being charged for going 114 mph on a 65 mph highway, DMX has been arrested on drug and animal-cruelty charges in Phoenix. The AP reports Earl Simmons first tried to barricade himself in his bedroom, but came out as a SWAT team entered during the early-morning raid Friday. An August search of the rapper’s home prompted by reports of dogs being abused on his property. Maybe Hef’s not so bad.

[Photo: AP]

Live Tyler, Royston Langdon splitting up

Is there no love left in the world? Liv Tyler and her rocker hubby Royston Langdon (a rocker's name if we ever heard one) are getting separated, People says.

"Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon have confirmed their separation," her rep confirms. "They remain good friends and devoted parents to their son Milo and are requesting that their family's privacy be respected at this time."

The pair have been married since 2003, and had their son the following year. This is an awful way to end the week.

[Photo: Getty Images]

DMX arrested for speeding, reckless driving

DMX has been arrested for speeding in Phoenix on Tuesday, and he was going so fast we just now are writing about it. The rapper (nee Earl Simmons), was filmed by traffic cameras allegedly driving 114 mph on a 65 mph suburban freeway in a 1966 Chevy, the AP reports.

Simmons was booked on charges of criminal speeding, public endangerment, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license, and was released after posting bond. You can see by the photo that he's even smart enough to put his name on the windshield to better help the cops catch him.

[Photo: AP]

Amy Winehouse is arrested for doing drugs

Oh jeez, Amy Winehouse has been arrested for (drum roll, please) ... suspected drug possession. Oh we know, we were shocked too. The U.K.'s Sun says Wino went to a London police station at "lunchtime" on Wednesday, where she was arrested and questioned over that video of her allegedly smoking crack we ran a few weeks back.

“A 24-year-old woman of the Camden area has today been arrested in connection with the possession of a controlled drug," a Scotland Yard spokesman said, trying to be coy about it. It's the second time in two weeks she's been arrested, after being charged for allegedly headbutting some bloke who hailed her a taxi while she was on a drinking binge. Uh, did we mention Britney Spears is allowed to see her kids a little more now? She's an angel compared to this fruitcake.

[Photo: AP]

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon wedding pics

You knew the photos were going to come out (because there's way too much money to be made), so the new issue of People provides photographic evidence that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon did indeed get hitched on April 30. Mercy!

Both Nick and Mimi gushed about each other, so hey, it must be love, right?

"We really do feel we are soulmates," Carey told the magazine. "I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me."

That's much more lyrical than Cannon's addition, which was still sweet: "She is beautiful on the outside and 10 times as beautiful on the inside."

And 10 times richer, don't forget. Check out some of the pics on the Oprah Winfrey Show in the video above.

Troubled singers: Winehouse, Spears, Doherty

• Producer Mark Ronson says he and Amy Winehouse have abandoned recording the theme to the latest James Bond film because the singer is not ready to work, the AP reports. She must have thought a Quantum of Solace was some kind of new drug slang.

• Britney Spears can now have expanded visits with her two sons Sean and Jayden after a custody hearing in L.A., the AP says. Of course, whether the tykes are endangered by continued exposure to dad Kevin Federline wasn’t really discussed.

• And just to keep our theme going, Pete Doherty was freed from a London prison after serving just 29 days of a 14-week sentence for violating probation, Reuters reports. But we’re sure he made lots of new friends.

[Photo: AP]

Bodyguards for Rihanna and Chris Brown assault tbt* photographer

Our very own paparazzo Luis Santana, 25 (right), was beaten and robbed early Tuesday morning near Vintage Ultra Lounge in downtown St. Pete while trying to take pictures of Chris Brown celebrating his 19th birthday.

Luis got word that Brown and Rihanna (who may or may not be Brown's girlfriend, since they refuse to confirm it to celebrity rags) were at a private party at the club, so he headed on over to help us provide your daily dose of dish. He talked to Vintage security and was told he could take photographs outside, Santana said.

After the club closed at 2 a.m., he waited outside for another half-hour or so, catching sight of Brown as he left. He said bodyguards told the hip-hopper to get in the black Excursion or Expedition limousine waiting outside the club, where Luis managed to take a couple pics of the performer.

Bodyguards chased him into the street, ripping his shirt and forcing him to the ground, breaking his camera flash and lens, Santana said. One guard put his knee on Santana's jaw and when he tried to push it away, the guards took the camera, worth about $3,000.

"I was yelling, 'Call the police! Call the police!' " Santana said. "Then one of the guys said, 'I am the police.' "

Santana said he has abrasions and bruises on his chest, back and arms. Police said there could be four male suspects who are bodyguards, but their names are unknown. The suspects left the scene in the limousine.

"I’ve shot many many celebrities and this was just another notch on my belt," Santana said. "Then it just turned sour."

James Guttridge, manager of Vintage Ultra Lounge, said the club instructs security personnel not to get involved in altercations that happen outside the club. Guttridge said guards do not have the authority to prohibit photographers from shooting pictures outside the club, on the public right-of-way.

"Our only concern is what happens inside here," Guttridge said.

Guttridge called the incident "unfortunate" and said he hopes celebrities will feel welcome in St. Petersburg, but also doesn't want residents to be turned off.

Santana says he believed the incident was retaliatory after he took photos of Rihanna at International Plaza on Monday afternoon (like this photo shown here). He said Rihanna's bodyguard pushed him at the mall, and the same bodyguard attacked him outside Vintage. Rihanna opened for Kanye West at the Ford Amphitheatre earlier that night.

And as an aside, a lot of you know Luis from working the clubs eevry weekend to get you in tbt* and our online photo gallery at tbtpics.tampabay.com. Drop him a line to wish him well.

[Photo: Luis Santana/tbt*; reporting by Stephanie Garry, St. Pete Times; and yours truly]

Mariah Carey, Nick Cannon did sign a prenup

Leave it to Mariah Carey to have all the bases covered when it comes to her quickie marriage to Nick Cannon. The Juice* previously had heard there was no prenup between the two, but now Fox News is saying she's smarter than your average diva.

“Anyone who thinks we didn’t have a prenup is smoking something,” Mariah apparently told a friend. Yes, she definitely learned a lesson after taking Tommy Mottola to the cleaners for $50 million. It restores our faith in love greed.

[Photo: AP]

Rihanna heads to IP with Chris Brown

Before you head to an amphitheater to rock thousands of fans, where do you go? If you’re Rihanna, you take boy toy Chris Brown to International Plaza. The couple browsed Kenneth Cole between rounds of Chris skateboarding in the mall and Rihanna heading to the Cheesecake Factory on Monday. We hear she wasn’t that cool with fans pestering her, but what does she want? She’s at the mall!

[Photo: Luis Santana/tbt*]

'HSM3' gets rolling, Miley Cyrus speaks out

 

Various and sundry Wildcats arrived late last week in Salt Lake City for the start of filming on High School Musical 3: High School Musical with a Vengeance (or whatever it will be called). Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and all the rest were on hand, but not everyone was feeling the East High spirit. E! News says the newly beschnozzed Ashley Tisdale “never cracked a smile and did not socialize with anyone, except Vanessa Hudgens,” and had a police escort by her side at all times. Still, the cast put on their best smileys and somehow managed to remain fully clothed. “We’ve done the first and second one here, and it brings back so many memories,” Hudgens told the Salt Lake Tribune. “Just being here feels like home — being back here with everyone, it’s amazing.” The plot of HSM3 will revolve around Troy and Gabriella’s relationship as they prepare to head off to different colleges. In the interest of realisim, The Juice* hopes to see a touching scene in which the two clique-crossed lovers clumsily culminate their relationship in the backseat of a Ford Focus at a post-prom field party.

Elsewhere in the wonderful world of Disney, Miley Cyrus finally spoke out on the sorta-scandalous photos that have been the talk of every pervert on the Interwebs this past week. According to People, at a concert Saturday night in Orlando for the Disney Channel Games — which is apparently a thing — Cyrus thanked the crowd for standing by her during this tumultuous time: “I saw a sign back there that said, 'Miley, I’m praying for you.’ I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you.”

(Photos: HSM, Getty Images; Miley/Mickey/Minnie, handout.)

Paris Hilton, Benji Madden at Push in St. Pete

Even The Juice*, which spends a lot of time ignoring the world's fave heihead, admits that we'll always have Paris Hilton. At least, Push Ultra Lounge in St. Pete did on Saturday, when tbt* paparazzo Luis Santana caught her and boyfried Benji Madden stopping in so the Good Charlotte singer and guitarist could take over the turntables at the club.

Paris was in tow, and while we have our well-known Paris ban in place, it's our job to let you know what celebrity news is going on in Tampa Bay. So call us hypocrites -- we'll live. Madden has been taking time off from visiting his famous niece, Harlow (daughter of his brother Joel and Paris frenemy Nicole Richie) to fuel rumors of possibly marrying Miz Hilton, but we're more interested in how their trip to Disney World on Sunday went.

[Photos: Luis Santana/tbt*]

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon DID get married

By now we all know platinum diva Mariah Carey and, uh, actor Nick Cannon got married this week, but nobody's really confirming anything. But since The Juice* takes its rumors and innuendo seriously, we've managed to piece together what may have gone down.

"He called us and told us all about it. We are happy for him. If that is what he wants then we are happy for him," family member Linda Cannon told E! Online. "I’m not going to give you any details, but we are happy for him."

We don't need Linda's ol' details, though, since the New York Post says the couple got married after dating for one month at the house Mariah just bought in Eleuthera, Bahamas, according to a source.

People also digs up that Mariah and Nick obtained a valid marriage license and met legal requirements for a ceremony, meaning they had to be in the country for at least 48 hours, be over the age of 16 and have obtained a license within 90 days, according to Monique Gomez, a Bahamian attorney.

E! Online says a rep for jeweler Jacob & Co. confirmed that Nick paid $2.5 million for the 17-carat engagement ring she's been wearing, although they didn't say if it still the same setting as seen on his former fiancee Selita Ebanks' finger last year. The Victoria's Secret model's people did tell the Post that she returned her ring to Cannon. For the record, you could pretty much buy the Isle of Man for 17 carats.

But we haven't gotten to the funny part yet. The wedding was so hurried that one crucial thing was missing.

"There was no pre-nup," a source told the Post. "There wasn't time."

But we have all the time in the world to watch what happens during the inevitable divorce.

[Photo: Back in 2005. Getty Images]

Whitney Houston's daughter attempted suicide

Bobbi Kristina, the 15-year-old daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, tried to stab her mom during an argument in March and then tried to slash her own wrists, the National Enquirer says.

Family member Ann Davis told the rag that Bobbi "tried to stab Whitney" a few days before the girl's 15th birthday party. She then turned the razor she was wielding against herself and tried to attempt suicide. Davis says Bobbi said "she doesn't want to live with Whitney."

Usually we're hoping stories from the National Enquirer aren't true, but since they actually name a source in this one, it makes us think the worst.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon got married?

There's been all sorts of rumors about Mariah Carey being engaged to Nick Cannon, what with Mimi strutting around the Tribeca Film Festival with the rock that sunk the Titanic strapped to her left hand. Access Hollywood even reported it had (unnamed) confirmation that yes, the two are now linked in the throes of a celebrity engagement.

But now Latina magazine says via its Web site that the two got married on an island yesterday in a "very impulsive" ceremony. We'll have to see if that's true, but the mag says a few close friends (like Da Brat) were there.

Meanwhile, we do know the pair were together at the after-party for the Tribeca Film Festival screening of her film Tennessee, but more obvious was the bling. What we find interesting are digital whispers that the ring is the same one the 27-year-old Cannon gave Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks when they got engaged in 2007 (they broke it off the same year).

At top-right is Mariah's, and below that is Selita's; Except for some colored diamonds around the ice cube in the middle, they looks strikingly similar. But then, Mariah (who's 11 years older than Nick, by the way) has so much dosh she probably sleeps on a pile of emeralds and rubies, so this may be some old throwaway she picked up on a whim. Either way, we're left wondering how Nick pulls superstars like Mariah Carey and Selita Ebanks. He should write a book.

[Photos: Getty Images]

Roger Waters' giant Coachella pig still missing

Organizers for the Coachella music festival just what happened to Roger Waters' giant inflatable pig, since it's been missing since it was sent airborne during a Sunday night performance.

The two-story swine was sent aloft during a Sunday performance of Waters' song Pigs at the California music festival, but instead of wrangling it back to earth, stagehands watched it float away.

"It wasn't really supposed to happen that way," festival spokeswoman Marcee Rondan said. "I don't have the details."

The festival is offering a $10,000 reward plus four Coachella tickets for life for the safe return of the pig. Waters didn't seem too terrbily upset at the time though, telling the crowd, "that's my pig" as it drifted away. He'll probably just buy a new one.

[Photo: AP]

Fresno baseball team ribs Team Miley over pics

There's not much more on the Miley Cyrus front today so far, but the Visalia (Calif.) Times-Delta sure knows how to have fun with a stupid situation. After the craziness surrounding the 15-year-old's Vanity Fair shoot, the Fresno Grizzlies are having a laugh at dad Billy Ray Cyrus' expense.

The minor league baseball team is offering a "Hanna Montana Ride Your Kid's Coattails Night" on Wednesday. Parents who bring an award their child has won will get a $1 ticket to the game. You know, like a perfect-attendance award or a swimming medal, the paper clarifies.

“We’re distraught about the negative publicity that Miley Cyrus has recently received and terrified that this may impact the resurgence of Billy Ray’s career,” said Scott Carter, Vice President of Marketing for the Grizzlies. Hope Billy Ray can take a joke. But who cares? Baseball for a dollar!

[Photo: Getty Images]

A Jimi Hendrix sex tape isn't really a surprise

For all the people out there who think modern-day celebs are responsible for the downfall of modesty, consider that we've already heard all about a supposed Marilyn Monroe sex film. Next on the list of possibly guilty icons: Jimi Hendrix.

The New York Times says Vivid Entertainment plans to release a 45-minute DVD called Jimi Hendrix the Sex Tape, with a whole 11 minutes of a man resembling the guitar great and two brunettes. (The rest is a retrospective of his career, minus any music, 'cause you've got to pay for that.)

The man's face is only seen for a few seconds, but he's wearing the familiar bandanna and Afro, so that solves the case, doesn't it? If you feel like getting ripped off, Vivid is selling the DVD for $39.95, either in stores, on the Web or as a download. If you want to buy, we trust you're the type who knows how to find it.

Amy Winehouse cheats on her husband twice

What we like about Amy Winehouse is that she gives us an alternate to the troubled starlets on this side of the pond and hits a sweet spot in fame -- she's known well enough to be interesting, but not well enough for anyone to actually care. With that attitude, we share the Sun's report that she not only plans to divorce her jailbird husband Blake Fielder-Civil, but has cheated on him twice.

Besides a fling with her manager's aide, Alex Haines, she recently took up with American photographer Blake Wood. Wow, now her similarities to Britney Spears are going to a whole new level. A source says her friends referred to him as Blake II, and she hooked up with him just as she was getting out of rehab and staying at London's Park Plaza hotel.

“You could hear them down the hall," a friend said. "Her thing with Blake II lasted a few weeks. The pair barely left their room.”

They were introduced by Kelly Osbourne, the paper says, and Wood had apparently been helping her fight her drug addiction. But what the Sun's source said next chills us to our very core.

“It’s funny how she bedded the last two people who have been helping to look after her. Amy is sex-mad — and she gets what she wants.” Look at that picture and think about that. Shudder.

[Photo: Getty Images]

'Speed Racer' could be really good ... or bad

Ali Dee and the Deekompressors are in charge of the theme song for Speed Racer, and this video features a lot of action. After watching it about five times, we've come to the conclusion that it just may be too much like the cartoon for its own good. But we're still seeing it.

Mariah Carey is all caught up during 'GMA'

Don't dare make mistakes around divas, friends and neighbors, lest they eat you alive. Such is the case with Mariah Carey's performance on Good Morning America on Friday morning (see video below).

While Mimi looks H-O-double-T in a pink minidress, things got off to a bad start right after her introduction, with the track of backing vocals for Touch My Body starting a wee early. But here's the funny part: About three minutes in, she turns and stares at a backup singer, working the line "Stop singing my part now baby" into the lyrics. Bam!

After the performance the diva smiled and announced to the crowd she tries "to bring something new to the moment every time." Yeah, like threatening her lackeys live on national television. Hey, the song does say she'll hunt you down.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Yoko Ono sues film folks for using 'Imagine'

Yoko Ono is suing the producers of a movie challenging the concept of evolution, alleging they used Imagine without her permission and leading the blogosphere to castigate her (that's right, we used a big, 50-cent word right there).

A lawsuit in federal court says the producers of Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed inferred that by using the song, they are saying the people who guard her dead husband John Lennon's legacy endorsed the film, the AP reports. Not so, say the film's producers.

"Based on the fair use doctrine, news commentators and film documentarians regularly use material in the same way we do," Premise Media said in a statement. "Unbiased viewers of the film will see that the 'Imagine' clip was used as part of a social commentary in the exercise of free speech and freedom of inquiry."

The film features Ben Stein challenging Darwinian theories and suggesting that life could have come about via intelligent design. The suit alleges Ono was accused of "selling out" on blogs and forums because of the song's use.

Oh, no, no, no, Yoko -- that's not why they're saying that at all.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Kelly Clarkson likes being naked at her home

By now we all know about Christina Aguilera's "naked Sundays," but would you believe Kelly Clarkson likes to have naked everydays? Us Weekly is saying that's the case, since the American Idol has a penchant for wandering around her house jekkid as a naybird.

"I just like being naked," the singer apparently tells people visiting her home, a source tells the mag. That includes not only close friends (reeeeaall close), but also when her house is "filled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings."

Well, we suppose that depends on what people are taking photos of, and what kind of clothes she's getting fitted for. It's a good thing she didn't bust those moves out when she was meeting Pope Benedict XVI.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Amy Winehouse out drinking once again

We love the British press, because while their libel laws are much stricter than American guidelines, they regularly trash celebs with such abandon we can’t help but read. Take Amy Winehouse: the Daily Mail says the singer went out for a “six-hour pub crawl” Tuesday night and got so wasted she had to break into her own house.

That part's believable enough, but the Mail says she went out with Mick Whitnall, guitarist in Pete Doherty’s group Babyshambles, and eventually “tried to punch and headbutt a man in the street before buying the early editions of yesterday’s papers and heading for home, where she had to gain entry via the garage,” the paper writes.

This after saying that earlier in the week she was wandering around getting high, and (get this) embarrassing her jailed husband, Blake Fielder-Civil.

“Blake will get stick about this from fellow inmates,” his mom Georgette Civil said. “Her behavior has spiralled out of control. She’s made a complete fool of herself and I hope my son divorces her.”

Yes, because Blake is such an angel. Isn’t he in jail on charges of threatening a witness to him beating someone? She's such a black sheep in this company.

[Photo: AP]

Richie Sambora pleads no contest to DUI

Blame those East Coast deadlines (and our indifference) again, folks, but Tuesday was the day Richie Sambora pleaded no contest on a charge of drunken driving from a March 25 arrest in Laguna Beach, Calif. TMZ says a second DUI was dropped in a plea agreement with prosecutors.

You'll recall the Bon Jovi guitarist was stopped with his 10-year-old daughter, Ava, her cousin and Richie's girlfriend Jenn Mallini in the car. Sambora will pay about $1,600 in fines and penalties, must attend an alcohol-education course and is on three years' probation.

He blew a .13 BAC, which is almost twice the legal limit of .08, and yet he managed to weasel out of a charge of child endangerment. Police apparently recommended the charge, but prosecutors decided not to go after him. Last time we checked, driving your kid around while you're half-dead from alcohol may, in fact, endanger the child. But what do we know? We're not from California.

[Photo: AP]

Jeff Goldblum, Imogen Heap are a couple now

Perez Hilton is using his photo-stealing prowess to show us that Jeff Goldblum has taken up with singer Imogen Heap (actually, he gives credit on his post, but a spade's a spade). The pair were seen holding hands and kissing during a walk in London's Hyde Park.

That's, um ... interesting news. The Juice* digs some Imogen, whom most people will recognize from Grey's Anatomy, The O.C., and Garden State soundtracks, among others (the latter as part of Frou Frou -- the video is for her song Headlock, btw). Jeff was cool until he started getting all goofy and providing voice work for Crank Yankers. Plus, he's 55 and she's 30, and that just causes all kinds of weirdness.

Beyonce, Jay-Z actually file a marriage license

If you're one of the seven people who still doubt Jay-Z and Beyonce got married, People says it has the paperwork to prove it. The glossy reports the glam couple filed a signed wedding license Friday in Scarsdale, N.Y., putting to rest the idea that the whole weddign thing was faked in order to get an espresso machine and some new crystal.

The document says the ceremony was April 4, which is when everyone has been saying it was, and there won't be any snags, even though the couple took longer than the five days allowed by law to file. Scarsdale town clerk Donna Conkling told the mag it's no big deal -- people file late all the time. This is the most exciting non-story we've read since that whole Miley Cyrus thing.

[Photo: Getty Images]

No release date, TV show for Guns N' Roses

Entertainment Weekly points out that Guns N’ Roses still don’t have a release date for their next album. The band wrote on its website that they are “in negotiations for the release of Chinese Democracy and things are going well.” No other information was included about the record, which was once scheduled for release in March 2007.

Meanwhile, guitarist Robin Finck has left GN’R to return to Nine Inch Nails for a tour this summer, and in a separate post shot down Internet rumors that the band was participating in a new reality show, EW says. “The reality TV rumors started a little while ago and have taken on an Internet life of their own, but there is no truth to any of this,” the post reads.

Photos show Miley Cyrus in her bra, being 15

Well, Juice*heads, we tried to take the high road on this one. If you read today's print edition, we allude to the fact that some leaked photos of Miley Cyrus are spreading far and wide on the Internet because of their supposed lascivious contents, but we wanted to ignore it. But oh no, you all are clamoring for more, so here we go.

The shots show the 15-year-old pop sensation pulling down her shirt to show off a green bra, while two more show her draped across some guy's lap, and even (gasp!) pulling up her shirt. There's been no response from the Cyrus camp about the pics (there's speculation it's not even her), but it echoes the photos last year of her hanging out in a hotel room with a female friend. Except, you know, the friend was female.

It's ridiculous that Cyrus had to say there was "nothing bad" about the sleepover photos, because looking at the photos, they dont' seem much worse than anything in high school yearbooks these days. Oh, and remember that bikini pic that came out? Yeah, that was sooo totally outrageous. Who knew 15-year-olds wore bathing suits?

LINK: We don't want to court possible legal issues, so if you're dreadfully curious, Tyler Durden has the pics here.

Meanwhile, the AP says she signed that book deal we were telling you about, so how’s that for real news?

“I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” she said in a statement. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”

Now quit worrying about what some teen-ager you don't even know is doing and get back to work.

[Photo: Getty Images. And btw, this will be the first post filed in our new "Miley Cyrus" category, so now you'll get all your dirt in one place.]

Shakira, British PM Gordon Brown trade praise

Even if most Americans don't know who he is, British Pime Minister Gordon Brown got a vote of confidence from Colombian hottie Shakira during a Monday telephone conference, the AP reports.

Brown was praising the singer for her working to provide the world's children with a basic education. She's supporting a week of events to highlight advocacy group Global Campaign for Education. Shakira returned the kind words with nothing but adulation for Brown.

"He is a man with wonderful intentions, he is very pro-active, he is working very hard for the issue of education," Shakira said, speaking from Washington on a conference call. She had met Brown before to discuss aid for education, and said she "could feel how passionate and enthusiastic he was about it."

All this and those rumors of her having a sex tape we're untrue, too? Believe it or not, we like it when celebrities use their powers for good, not evil. Of course, Shakira could ask us for change for a dollar and we'd be singing her praises.

[Photo: We're not making it up; here's Shakira in Bangladesh in December. Getty Images]

Kanye West and Alexis Phifer split up again

Kanye West and his fiancee Alexis Phifer are on the outs again, Us magazine is reporting.

"Kanye is possessed by the tour and everything going on and just couldn't keep it going," a source told the mag. "They are still friends and have broken up and gotten back together before, so it could work out."

Those two crazy kids have been dating since 2002, but broke up in '04 when Kanye had a thing with Brooke Crittendon, an assistant at MTV. Kanye proposed to Phifer in 2006, and have said they were going to get married because that's what his late mom Donda had always wanted. Way to follow through there, guys.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jordin Sparks fights injury, leaves Keys tour

Jordin Sparks may have won American Idol, but she's already facing an injury that threatens her career. The New York Post reports the 18-year-old had to cancel three shows over the weekend after being diagnosed with "an acute vocal cord hemorrhage," officials said.

Sparks has killed shows at Penn State on Sunday night, an Earth Day show on the National Mall in Washington today and her opening act show the first night of Alicia Keys' tour this Saturday, the Post reports.

"Because of the risk of permanent vocal cord damage, Sparks has been ordered to strict vocal rest and will not be able to perform anywhere until her condition improves," a spokesman for the arena at Penn State said.

Billboard says Sparks is off the circuit for now, but she'll be back.

"Jordin is on a vocal rest, but she's expected to make a full recovery and join Alicia on tour in May," a Jive spokesperson said.

“Sparks has been going nonstop over the past two years and now she’s going through the normal course of learning how to manage and care for her voice,” a statement from the label later clarified.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Foxy Brown is released from New York prison

We warned you it was going to happen, and it did -- Foxy Brown was released from Riker's Island this afternoon around 12:45 p.m.

"This is a big day for me," Brown told SOHH.com. "To have everybody here that I love, my whole family, the whole Brooklyn, the officers that took care of me at Rikers. Eight months to the day, I remember going in in August and I said when I come out, I'm coming out even better. And I'm back baby, it's a wrap."

The rapper was sentenced to a year in prison in September after repeated probation violations. Inmates typically serve two-thirds of their sentence, said Stephen Morello, a Department of Corrections spokesman.

She got the A-list treatment, too; Prisoners normally leave Riker's on a bus and are taken to a city parking lot, but Morello notes city councilman Charles Barron picked up Brown at the prison and drove her away, Reuters reports. She hopped in a white Rolls Royce Phantom and led a train of fans and media away. It's good to see her prison time taught her humility.

Miley Cyrus is writing her autobiography

That MIley Cyrus sure is branching out, moving from a teen pop star and teen actor to a teen writer. Ok! says the ubiquitous 15-year-old has decided to write an autobiography.

Well, not all by her lonesome, of course. Much like her music and acting career, she's going to be relying on a ghost writer to put all one-and-a-half sassy decades in print. It's all part of a "very hush-hush" multimillion-dollar deal with Disney books, an insider says.

"The plan is to move her away from Hanna Montana. She's outgrown it," the source tells the mag.

Outgrown it? The show has only been on since 2006! Did Gary Coleman outgrow Diff'rent Strokes after two years? Did Michael J. Fox outgrow Family Ties after two years? Did Mayim Bialik outgrow Blossom after two years? Sure, they didn't have instahits playing on Top 40 radio or hosting gigs on country music shows, but darn it, they stuck with it!

[Photo: With her older half-sister Brandi, who probably wants her own show, too. Getty Images]

Foxy Brown getting out of prison on Friday

Where does the time go? It seemed just yesterday Foxy Brown was being sent up the river for parole violations, but already she's set for a release from Riker's Island on Friday.  But TMZ says it's not going to be a quiet event.

The Web site says the rapper's PR team plans on making it a spectacle, with a press conference and lots of flashbulbs. But the Department of Corrections points out the Riker's parking lot is way too small for that nonsense, so they'll have to do it somewhere else.

That's fair, since inmates usually have to take a bus from the island to Queens and then into Manhattan to meet their families. But Foxy doesn't know from fair -- for the record, she was sentenced to 12 months in September, so we don't know why she's getting out now.

"She did every single minute of her bid in jail, and she did it under the most severe conditions," manager Chaz Williams told Billboard. "They had her on continuous lockdown just because she is a celebrity. They were trying to break her spirit."

Oh yes, she's suffered so much for beating and spitting on salon owners and neighbors. Let's hope her humanity is intact.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Joe Simpson wants pic deal for Ashlee's baby

We'll let the "is she or isn't she?" talk about Ashlee Simpson's supposed pregnancy slide for now, because the New York Post's Page Six says papa Joe Simpson is already pimping his daughter's baby out to celeb glossies.

"Joe is contacting all the weeklies and asking them to pony up $1 million to put Ashlee on the cover," a magazine insider said. "The deal would include photos of Ashlee -- taken by Joe, of course, so he can make more money -- an interview and photos of the baby when she has it."

He's all heart, ain't he? But a million is a lot to ask, and no one is putting up that kind of coin.

"$60,000 maybe -- but definitely not a million," one nameless editor says. "The timing is a little suspicious. Her album (Bittersweet World) is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly."

Hey, Joe knows exactly what he's doing. Seriously, look how wildly successful Jessica is lately.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Debbie Gibson now has her very own stalker

Debbie (excuse us, Deborah) Gibson is so popular she's got her very own stalker. The singer filed for a restraining order against Spaniard Bassas Jorge Puigdollers, asking that the 44-year-old be kept 100 yards away, not try to contact her and stop attending her concerts, the AP reports.

"I wanted to use the fan club to help people who can't go see her to get autographs and photos," he told the AP in Spanish, adding that the correct spelling and order of his name is Jordi Bassas Puigdollers. Gibson claimed Puigdollers has attended all her "nationwide performances since 2002 and often tries to get backstage to get her autograph and follows her to her hotel room.

The fun and games ended Sunday, however, when he showed up at her L.A. home on Sunday, prompting a call to police and an emergency protective order that expires Friday. A hearing on her request is scheduled for May 28.

"I understand that she wants her privacy," said Puigdollers, a taxi driver. "I would like to say I'm sorry. I don't want problems and I don't want to bother her so much." That must explain why he plans on attending five of her concerts in Atlantic City in May.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Universal tells Amy Winehouse to clean it up

Universal has had it with Amy Winehouse's shenanigans: The label says she's better kick the drugs or they won't release any more of her future albums, the U.K.'s Sun reports. Why haven't they threatened this before?

Euro boss Lucian Grainge had made such an ultimatum before, back when that video footage of Wino smoking crack hit the Webwaves, but now the label is serious.

"Amy has been reminded of her responsibilities. Unless she is clean she will not be allowed to release another album," a source told the paper. “She took notice when Lucian talked to her earlier in the year and agreed to go to rehab. But she didn’t take it seriously enough. They would never release her from her deal, they would just not put an album out.”

They go on to speculate that any new music probably isn't on the horizon until 2009, which gives us plenty of time to find a new drug-addled songstress to lavish with too much coverage.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Ashlee Simpson pregnant with Pete Wentz's kid

Why the big rush to get married for