Pamela Anderson had to tell her kids about Tommy Lee sex tape

The grandmammy of all sex-tape mistresses finally has to pay what she owes, as Pamela Anderson confesses she had to tell her two kids about her celluloid shenanigans with then-husband Tommy Lee. Gee, mom, we'd rather talk about menopause than to hear about this, they said.

Anderson said during an interview with British talk show host Jeremy Kyle that her boys Brandon, 12, and Dylan, 11, are finally of the age where things like her background in videography are coming into play, the New York Daily News reports, especially since it was mention in 2006's Borat.

"I knew kids were going to watch the film and there was a reference to the tape in the movie and they're that age and, you know, people are going start saying things," the 47-year-old said. "I just said, 'Look, Mummy and Daddy were massively in love, we videotaped everything, everything was videotaped, and you're probably going hear about something at school.' "

Since all the kids have iPhones these days, we doubt they'll just hear about it. Although, it's been a long time since 1998, so maybe 12-year-old boys aren't as into porn as they used to be. Oh, who are we kidding?

[Photo: When your mom looks like this, you're probably not surprised by much. Getty Images]

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Levi Johnston 'did not go full frontal' for Playgirl

Sorry to disappoint all five of you Levi Johnston fans, but he doesn't go full-frontal in his nude photo shoot for Playgirl. That's fine, we've already seen quite enough of him as it is, thank you.

"Although Playgirl is ecstatic with the footage of the Levi Johnston shoot, and viewers are going to be pleased and surprised, Levi did not go completely full frontal, as was suggested by his camp a few weeks ago," magazine rep Daniel Nardicio tells Us. "Levi looks great in the shoot, and was a consummate professional, and we look forward to releasing the photos very soon."

Levi isn't ready for his 14th minute to end quite so soon, manager Tank Jones says, telling Us: "People need to wait. I was on the shoot. I know what was shot."

That tells us only one thing -- something wasn't what Playgirl had hoped. Perhaps the size of his ... ego?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Vivid offers to buy former Miss California Carrie Prejean's sex tape, which is only one of 8 videos and 30 nude photos

Remember how former Miss California Carrie Prejean called her sex tape "the biggest mistake" of her life? According to RadarOnline and TMZ, she made seven more giant whoopsies, for a total of eight. She must have gone to the Kim Kardashian School of How to Get Famous.

Besides the eight total recordings, the first of which figured into her settlement with Miss California USA pageant officials, there are apparently 30 nude photos floating around out there, which area ll likely to turn up on the Internet any second now (wait, keep reading!).

TMZ says notorious porn peddlers Vivid Entertainment have offered her big-money-no-whammies for the rights to distribute "erotic footage that Carrie Prejean ... produced for her boyfriend following their four (4) day rendezvous in February 2007," according to a letter from Vivid bossman Steven Hirsch. By the way, that settles the idea that she was only 17 when the tape was made.

It doesn't sound like Prejean is biting, however, although we think she should take what money she can get. Hypocrisy and dishonesty have already cost her enough, don't you think?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Eva Mendes got naked for Calvin Klein jeans

Calvin Klein warned us that Eva Mendes' new "Body" jeans ads would be coming out in the fall and guess what? The leaves, they are a-changin'. The actress, whose advertisements for Obsession were restricted because she was naked in them, showed up in a Calvin Klein boutique in Milan, Italy, on Thursday to help sell the dungarees and show off her new campaign. She's really selling it, isn't she?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Fergie says she's faithful to Josh Duhamel, despite her bisexual past

Let's steer away from tales that Josh Duhamel was cheating on wife Fergie, since we've found out that the Duchess is also one to enjoy a roll in the hay with another woman. We woulda never guessed it.

"I've had a lot of fun with women, and I'm not ashamed of it," she tells the Advocate. "But just because I enjoy women doesn't mean I'm allowed to have affairs in my relationship."

And what brought on this confessions? Professional help, of course.

"I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it's with girls, so there is a rule there," she says, noting that there's another thing keeping her from walking away: "The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man."

She doesn't understand why this confession on bisexuality is such a big deal, though. She says she's been honest with Josh "from the get-go" and it has been brought up before.

"Go back four or five years, people, and you'll see the same answer," she says.

But even with such a sordid past, don't plan on seeing a sex tape of Fergie with Josh or anyone else.

"No, that's not happening. We're too smart for that," she says. "We've done some filming but with no tape in the camera." Yeah, that's what Josh told her, anyway.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Joe Francis gets plea deal in tax evasion case

Girls Gone Wild mastermind Joe Francis wormed his way out of trouble yet again, as a judge let him off with time served and a year of probation for filing false income tax returns and bribing Nevada jail workers, the AP reports. Letting him off the hook for savagely manhandling Playboy Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole just wasn't enough legal luck for him, apparently.

U.S. District Judge S. James Otero accepted a plea deal that Francis would get credit for 301 days served after prosecutors learned a key witness, Joe's old accountant Michael Barrett, had withheld information about hundreds of e-mails that Francis was using to sue Barrett for alleged fraudulent billing. 

Under the deal, Francis pleaded guilty in September to two misdemeanor counts of filing false tax returns and one count of bribing Nevada jail workers in exchange for food. He acknowledged omitting more than $500,000 in interest income on his 2003 tax returns and said he gave more than $5,000 in goods to the jail employees. He has to pay $250,000 in restitution to the IRS. It's so great to hear that the justice system works, don't it?

[Photo: AP]

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No charges against Joe Francis for dragging Jayde Nicole by hair

Smut peddler Joe Francis must be down to his ninth life, because late Tuesday it was announced the sleaze merchant has managed to escape charges in a club brawl (more of a beatdown, really) with Playboy Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole, Radar Online says. Ah, the efficiency of the L.A. injustice system.

The district attorney's office said it will not take legal action against Francis, Nicole or her boyfriend Brody Jenner, all of whom were involved in the fracas at Guys and Dolls on Aug. 28. The office said that Jayde (real last name of Gelette) started the incident by pouring a drink on Francis.

"Gelette appears to have acted without immediate provocation in her assault upon suspect/victim Francis,"  a report stated about surveillance video from the club (watch it above). Somehow they concluded that pouring a shot of booze on a jackass like Francis can rightfully precipitate being grabbed by the hair and thrown to the floor. Hey, she deserved it, right? The report finds "the interests of justice do not support the filing of criminal charges."

Both of them have filed civil suits against each other, so we'll hear more about it, but all you drunken college girls should remember: Before whipping off your top for Joe on spring break, remember that chivalry is dead and authorities in L.A. will say it's just fine and dandy if you spill a beer on Joe and he smashes your face into the floor when you're not looking.

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Half naked Megan Fox strips Victoria Beckham of Armani underwear job

Say so long to Victoria Beckham, because Megan Fox has replaced her as the new body behind Emporio Armani Underwear and Armani Jeans. And you said she couldn't act ...

Fox's new campaign will start running globally in January, about the same time fab Portuguese footie Cristiano Ronaldo's new campaign replaces Posh's husband David, Women's Wear Daily reports. Indeed, the Brits have taken a double dose of low self-esteem from Armani in just a week.

Megan was shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott in L.A. over the weekend. Those images will appear in print and on billboards, although there are no details on how undressed she was on set, but rest assured The Juice* will do its journalistic duty and bring you those images the moment they become available.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Joe Francis swears the Jayde Nicole thing was self-defense

You knew Joe Francis was so classy that he'd have to respond to surveillance video of him apparently manhandling former Playboy Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole at L.A. nightclub Guys and Dolls. And his response? Hey, I had to do that.

“The footage clearly shows Nicole instigating the incident, waiting to hit Francis in the back of the head and then pour her drink down his back, thereby committing two counts of battery on Francis,” Joe's lawyer Cyrus Nownejad said in a press release on RadarOnline. Cy also says that with no audio, you can't hear her say "I'm going to kill you." Like you can hear anything in a noisy club (watch it above).

“My client grabbed Nicole’s hair in self-defense to restrain her from further assaults against him and to protect himself against her horrendous threat," Francis' lawyer said. Horrendous threats? Like getting a shot glass of vodka poured on him? Does that really require grabbing a 117-pound model from behind and dragging her to the floor by her hair? We think not.

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DJ AM will air, Gossip Girl plays unfair, Mel Gibson won't despair

• MTV says it’s going to go ahead and air the eight-episode documentary Gone Too Far, in which DJ AM joined concerned family members in staging interventions for young drug abusers. The painful irony will begin on Monday.

• Three characters from the CW’s Gossip Girl are going to end up in a menage a trois on its Nov. 9 episode, Entertainment Weekly reports. Although which characters are involved wasn't disclosed, our money is on Mischa Barton showing up somehow.

• A Malibu judge expunged Mel Gibson’s DUI arrest from 2006, during which he spouted anti-Semitic remarks and remarked on the composition of a deputy’s body parts, RadarOnline reports. At least he made up for it by leaving his wife and knocking up a Russian singer.

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