Miley Cyrus could pose in 'Playboy,' Hefner says

Apparently announcing Jayde Nicole was the new Playmate of the Year wasn't enough for Playboy's Hugh Hefner, since he spouted off on Extra that Miley Cyrus would be "welcomed in the magazine" when she's legal. Dude, she's FIFTEEN!

That doesn't keep the 82-year-old from calling her a "very pretty lady," and defending her recent Vanity Fair photos.

"I think to make such a big to do over something as innocent as those photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality," Hefner told Extra. Excuse us while we go shower with pure lye to get the gross off of us.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Video shows Ashley Dupre gave 'GGW' consent

We let the news side handle word that Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, was suing Girls Gone Wild creep Joe Francis for $10 million after she claimed she was only 17 when video of her was shot. She was accusing Francis of exploiting her image and name on the Internet. But we'll report that the joke's on her, though -- Francis and Co. have produced video of her confirming her age and giving a fake name, the AP reports.

Dupre is shown in a towel telling an offscreen questioner that her name is Amber Arpaio. "Do you know what Girls Gone Wild is?" the questioner asks. "Yes I do," she replies with a laugh. "Can I use this on Girls Gone Wild?" she is asked. "Of course you can," Dupre answers. The video also displays a New Jersey driver's license with the Amber Arpaio name and a birth date that would have made her appear to be in her 20s. Oops.

Her lawyer and PR firm wouldn't return calls from the AP, probably because they're too busy trying to beat some sense into her. You can find the AP video by clicking here.

[Photo: AP]

A Jimi Hendrix sex tape isn't really a surprise

For all the people out there who think modern-day celebs are responsible for the downfall of modesty, consider that we've already heard all about a supposed Marilyn Monroe sex film. Next on the list of possibly guilty icons: Jimi Hendrix.

The New York Times says Vivid Entertainment plans to release a 45-minute DVD called Jimi Hendrix the Sex Tape, with a whole 11 minutes of a man resembling the guitar great and two brunettes. (The rest is a retrospective of his career, minus any music, 'cause you've got to pay for that.)

The man's face is only seen for a few seconds, but he's wearing the familiar bandanna and Afro, so that solves the case, doesn't it? If you feel like getting ripped off, Vivid is selling the DVD for $39.95, either in stores, on the Web or as a download. If you want to buy, we trust you're the type who knows how to find it.

Kelly Clarkson likes being naked at her home

By now we all know about Christina Aguilera's "naked Sundays," but would you believe Kelly Clarkson likes to have naked everydays? Us Weekly is saying that's the case, since the American Idol has a penchant for wandering around her house jekkid as a naybird.

"I just like being naked," the singer apparently tells people visiting her home, a source tells the mag. That includes not only close friends (reeeeaall close), but also when her house is "filled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings."

Well, we suppose that depends on what people are taking photos of, and what kind of clothes she's getting fitted for. It's a good thing she didn't bust those moves out when she was meeting Pope Benedict XVI.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Playboy heads out to the Olive Garden

For those of you who can’t get enough of the Olive Garden’s soup and salad, we offer cheesecake. Playboy.com is doing a “Girls of Olive Garden” pictorial.

It seems the idea came from Hugh Hefner gal pal Kendra Wilkinson (to the left of Hef), who is a huge fan of the chain — especially it’s breadsticks (no jokes, please). Kendra, one of the stars of E!’s The Girls Next Door, will select the winners. According to Playboy.com, Kendra once told Italian couturier Roberto Cavalli that the Olive Garden is better than any of his country’s trattorias. (The Juice* imagines the turnoffs on her Playmate Data Sheet: authentic Italian food, Mario Batali, restaurants without salad bars.)

As for the pictorial’s candidates, they must be current employees of the Olive Garden’s 600 outlets. The OG reportedly said it won’t stop its servers from stripping, but won’t endorse it, either. For more, go here (but not in the office).

Angie Harmon gets naked in 'Allure' shoot

Once upon a time, Angie Harmon was everywhere, what with marrying then-New York Giants cornerback Jason Sehorn and starring in Law & Order. Then she kinda disappeared for awhile, starring in things that made us wish A.D.A. Abbie Carmichael was back (Agent Cody Banks, anyone?).

But now that she's starring in Women's Murder Club she's got to do something to get that media attention back. How about taking naked photos in Allure? That's what she and a few others did for the mag's May issue.

But it's not about the sex, oh no: "It's about showing the female body in a positive, beautiful way," Harmon told Allure.

She's joined by Gabrielle Union, Zoe McLellan, Ana Ortiz and Jill Scott, who boasts, "Here I am, naked in a magazine at size 16 ... We are all beautiful, each and every one of us." Wait, what was the message here?

Daniel Radcliffe's 'Equus' coming to Broadway

Are all you Harry Potter fans jealous that stagegoers got to see Daniel Radcliffe in the buff and you did not? First, gross! Second, here's your chance to see him bare it all Stateside.

Reuters says Radcliffe will reprise his role in Equus for a 22-week run on Broadway. That's a bit of a longer stretch than the eight weeks he played the role in London last year. It'll be the first revival of the Peter Shaffer play on Broadway since its 1974 debut (the show ran until 1977).

Joining 18-year-old Danny will be Harry Potter cohort Richard Griffiths, who was in the London show and played Uncle Vernon in the movies. Now that the kids who grow up with Harry are old enough to see this play, we're expecting a lot more scarred psyches in the future.

[Photo: Handout/AP]

Jessica Simpson finding work posing naked

We're happy Jessica Simpson got over her kidney infection and all, so we're starting to wonder when she's going to actually, you know, work again. It seems she's starting by ripping off old covers of men's magazines.

The used-to-be singer is on the cover of next month's Esquire, emulating a March 1965 cover of the same magazine in which actress Virna Lisi is shaving her face. It's part of a multi-page spread showing her sopping wet in a swimsuit and a flesh-colored body stocking, which would have been awesome, were this 2003.

This is what Jess considers generating buzz? She might as well hang a "will work for food" sign around her neck. And while then-Esquire designer George Lois meant it as a boost for women's lib, we're pretty sure it's just the latest in Esquire's inability to develop original ideas.

Your daily troubled starlet update

• Troubled starlet Mischa Barton will plead no contest in her DUI case Thursday, People reports, landing three years of probation, a three-month alcohol education class and a fine of $1,700 — but no jail time. A related marijuana charge will also be dropped.

• Troubled starlet Naomi Campbell has been banned from British Airways after being booted off a flight after a scuffle with a cop, British tabloids said Tuesday. The airline hasn’t confirmed it, and Campbell’s spokeswoman told Reuters, “Naomi has been flying with British Airways for nearly 30 years and has been a good customer. She hopes this can be resolved amicably.”

• Troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan was sued Monday by her former bodyguard. TMZ says David Kim claims LiLo owes him big bucks for unpaid security detail, including driving her around L.A. He wants $55,000; Lohan’s reps had no comment.

• Troubled starlet Britney Spears might be getting into the furniture business. The New York Post says Spears’ dad, Jamie, is trying to make Brit a spokeswoman job for Danish furniture broker Claus Hjelmbak. Hjelmbak denies this (wouldn’t you?) but the Post says a possible deal has been in the works for two months.

• Troubled starlet Pete Doherty has been jailed for 14 weeks for violating his probation and for using drugs, the BBC says. The porkpie-topped “rocker” apparently missed an appointment with his probation team and was late for another. A spokesman told NME that Doherty might appeal the sentence.

• Troubled starlet Amy Winehouse is not in the news today, which is a shame, because we almost had a Troubled Starlet Yahtzee. But we suspect she’ll pop up on TMZ soon enough, freebasing ground-up hippo tusk or some such nonsense.

Shockingly, Dita Von Teese made some porn

Wow, The U.K.'s Sun says new Wonderbra spokesmodel Dita Von Teese (a.k.a. Heather Sweet, a.k.a. ex-Mrs. Marilyn Manson) has a mysterious background in porn. You think? Seriously, it's not like she hung her shingle on being a fetish queen or burlesque performer or anything.

Anyway, the meat of the story is somewhere out there on the InterWebs there's kinky video of Von Teese being spanked and having all-girl orgies with sex toys that would make Jenna Jameson blush. The 35-year-old has been plying her burlesque shows as performance art for years -- which is really up to you to decide, dear readers -- and has been very outspoken in defending it.

The Sun posits that this will ruin her new gig with the lingerie company, but is there a woman on this earth who didn't think Dita's announced line of undergarments wasn't backed by a girl with a dark past?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Audrina Patridge is in naked photos. Again.

The Hills' Audrina Patridge apparently wasn't happy all those naked pics she released for buzz that were leaked without her knowledge a few days ago, so Splash News Online has a completely new set she's approved that are much more PG-13. Well, except for the one showing her nipple, but that's what gaussian blur is for.

This new set of mostly topless photos were taken 4 months ago, unlike the last round, which were shot three years ago, not long after she graduated high school. Apparently Audrina is tired of being called the "brunette on The Hills," Splash says. We're guessing "that reality show chick who's naked all the time" is better for her.

[Photo: With that camera hog Lauren Conrad. Getty Images]

Calum Best denies Lindsay Lohan sex tape

No sooner do we get done telling you that Lindsay Lohan just may have a sex tape with Calum Best, than his rep tells Us that it’s not true. “Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not Calum in the tape,” the British model’s peeps said.

So who is it in that grainy image splashed on Google image searches? TMZ says it was some tramp in Illinois goofing off with her boyfriend. The stills were taken from an old XTube video that was posted two months ago.

There you go, folks; The Juice* finds out the truth for you once again!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Kristin Davis ex Eric Stapelman is a big jerk

So the cat's pretty much out of the bag: Those really are naked pics of Kristin Davis making the rounds, even though there's be no official admission. What is clear, though, is that they were taken by her ex-boyfriend Eric Stapelman waaaaay back in 1992. So who is this guy?

Thanks to Best Week Ever, who has spent an alarming amount of time doing "research," Stapelman is a decidedly unpopular chef at a schmancy Sante Fe restaurant called Trattoria Nostrani. And according to anecdotal evidence, he's such a vindictive jackhole that he not only sold his pics of Davis to a friend, but he's a veritable Oscar the Grouch at his restaurant.

Restaurant reviews all over the interwebs say Stapelman has a tendency to throw out patrons if they are too "scented," as evidenced by gossipy reviews at Mouthfuls and Trip Advisor. If patrons happen to disagree, the executive chef/owner will chase people out into parking lots and even into other restaurants, yelling the entire way. Gee, we can't imagine why Davis broke it off with him.

[Photo: Getty Images]

'Sex' pics, Wentz is sick, Wino's shtick

• Sex and the City’s Kristin Davis and her reps deny it, but TMZ has discovered that the nude photos allegedly of Kristin were taken by her ex-beau Eric Stapelman, who sold the pics to someone to get back at her. If he wanted to get back at her, they should remind her that Kim Cattrall’s Samantha is supposed to be the sexy one.

• Pete Wentz tells MTV that he once tried to kill himself by taking a lot of the anti-anxiety drug Ativan in his car at a Best Buy parking lot, but his mommy showed up and took him to a hospital. Maybe next time he should just try drinking too much Gatorade or mixing Bayer and Tylenol; listening to his girlfriend Ashlee Simpson sing would be more effective.

• Amy Winehouse wants to raise awareness about breast cancer by posing nude in the April issue of Brit women’s mag Easy Living, RadarOnline says. Wino is probably also hoping the photo, which shows her jaybird-style with duct tape on her breasts, will distract us from the claw marks all over her arms and the raging impetigo on her face ... not working, though.

Ashley Dupre was a hit on 'Girls Gone Wild'

Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Ashley Alexandra Dupre (nee Kristen the call girl) got her career off to a raucous start in Miami by letting Joe Francis' Girls Gone Wild crew shoot plenty of film, PageSix.com says.

Her debut apparently was in Spring Break 2005: Anything Goes, a collection actually shot in 2003 that shows Dupre gyrating in a bikini and trucker hat in a room full of drunk college students before things take a decidely skimpier turn.

And never one to let an entrepreneurial opportunity pass him by, the recently freed Francis' Web site boasts about seven tapes of material from the Emperors Club's main event, including the obligatory girl-on-girl action. Dupre had apparently lived on the GGW bus for a week after getting kicked out of her hotel room.

Francis was apparently about to offer the now-22-year-old $1 million to appear in a non-nude spread in his new magazine, the AP says, but after a quick archive check they found they had all the footage they needed.

"It'll save me a million bucks," Francis told the AP. "It's kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch."

There's a catch, though: Before the company can put all the footage on their site and charge you $29.95 per month for it, they're investigating claims by Dupre's lawyer, Don Buchwald, who tells TMZ that Ashley's birthday is April 30, 1985, which would make her only 17 in the footage, which was shot between March 13 and March 20, 2003. Whoops.

But no worries, Joe says that Florida and federal laws allow her to be filmed in any state of undress as long as she consents and there is no sexual contact. And it's really creepy that he knows that.

[Photo: Screen capture from GirlsGoneWild.com footage via AP]

Oh, and here's some video, too:

The Hills' Audrina Patridge has nude photos

All you fans of The Hills have some internet searching to do today, because Splash News Agency says Audrina Patridge has plenty of nude photos floating around.

Apparently after a 19-year-old Patridge graduated high school, she got the fool idea of wanting to be a model, so she asked a photographer pal to take pics of her with less than everything on (so sorry, but we can't show you those). A source told Splash that Audrina wanted to be a big name, so off came the bikini.

"She was determined to go ahead with it, even though she was warned to wait and see how her modelling went before doing topless stuff," the source said. "She was always comfortable in front of the camera and wasn't shy or nervous about doing a nude shoot."

But for some reason, Playboy didn't seem to care, ruining her hopes for one month of fame at the price of her dignity.

"I was young and very trusting of others and I didn't know to protect myself," Patridge told TMZ. "It is a lesson learned, for myself, and hopefully for the young girls who look up to me."

Well, now all the 22-year-old has is a few episodes of a wildly famous MTV show under her belt and a stack of nudie pics to embarrass her. Expect some kind of contract to be signed within hours.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Nude pics of Gisele, Kate Moss up for auction

Forget trolling the Web for naked pictures of Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen. If you've got $40,000, you can just buy nude pics of the models at auction.

Christie's is putting a large lot of expensive prints on the block on April 10, the New York Daily News reports, including a nude of Gisele and a 1996 shot of Moss in the buff, both of which are expected to go for 40-large.

The images were shot by photogrpaher Irving Penn and are part of a collection belonging to Gert Elfering, a 49-year-old German who has been hoarding photos for 20 years.

Other photogs represented in Elfering's collection include Richard Avedon, Man Ray, Robert Mapplethorpe, Guy Bourdin and Diane Arbus. Their subject matter includes a topless pic of Lauren Hutton, a portrait of Brigitte Bardot, and tamer shots of Miles Davis, the Beatles and Picasso.

The entire collection is expected to sell for around $4.5 million, meaning a high-speed connection and a quality laser printer may be a better investment for Joe Citizen.

[Photo: A security guard at Christie's looks for more to Kate Moss' pic. Getty Images]

Joe Francis pleads no contest in Panama City

Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis pleaded no contest to child abuse and prostitution charges in Panama City on Wednesday, settle a case that began in 2003.

Fox New reports Judge Deede Costello sentenced the video kingpin to 339 days in jail, giving him credit for the last year he’s languished in jail in Bay County and Reno, Nev. That means Francis’ court troubles in Florida are over with, and he can stay out of jail on bond until his federal tax evasion trial begins in Nevada.

“I am happy to be done with Bay County,” Francis told TMZ.com. He’s on six months’ probation and will get back $60,000 and a Ferarri Bay County confiscated from him last year, but the big news is that he’s not allowed to film in the area for three years. Just wait until that big comeback video in 2011!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jenna Jameson *doesn't* get naked for PETA

It's so good that former porn star Jenna Jameson can take the moral high ground and pose for PETA. Here she unveils her new campaign to keep people from buying leather -- by wearing pleather instead. Because wearing leather is very detrimental to society, you know.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Now, with video!

Joe Francis coming back to Florida for hearing

Much to the behest of fathers everywhere, jailed Girls Gone Wild mogul Joe Francis is returning to Florida. It’s not all margaritas and camcorders now, though, since his trip to Panama City is to face charges of filming underage girls.

The AP says defense attorney Fred Atcheson coughed up a $1.5 million cashier’s check to cover Joe’s bail on tax evasion charges in Nevada so he can come to Florida for a court appearance on Wednesday for four felony and two misdemeanor charges in a case that goes back five years.

We certainly hope he can get back to Nevada to face his tax evasion trial in August — he’s only facing 10 years in prison and $500k in fines for that.

[Photo: AP]

Hugh Hefner wants Lindsay Lohan in 'Playboy'

With that New York photo shoot under her, um, belt, Lindsay Lohan is free to explore all sorts of Marilyn Monroe-related career moves (of which overdosing on drugs may or may not be an option). Next up: Playboy’s Hugh Hefner reportedly wants LiLo to take it all off to pose in his mag.

The inspiration would be Marilyn’s nude swimming scene in Something’s Got to Give, the New York Post says. Oh, something’s got to give, all right.

Mama Dina may not be too happy with Hef’s plan, though, since she said of the New York spread, “It was very tastefully done. I don’t look at them like it’s Playboy; she was being a character.” What a way to have both the worlds of being a celebrity rip-off and pornography collide!

Jeffrey Ross on the Dana Jacobson Incident

Jeffrey Ross isn’t one to mince words -- which made him an ideal choice to emcee ESPN’s roast of Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg on Jan. 11. But it wasn’t the veteran standup, comedy's "Roastmaster General," who made headlines afterward -- it was ESPN First Take host Dana Jacobson, who unleashed a drunken tirade against Notre Dame and coach Charlie Weis. Snapshots of Jacobson brandishing a bottle of vodka quickly made the rounds online, and she was suspended for a week by ESPN. Tbt* caught up with Ross, who’s performing at the Tampa Improv from Feb. 28-March 3, and asked for his take on the Jacobson incident. (For the full interview, pick up next Friday’s tbt*.)

Roasting was in the news recently, where Dana Jacobson got in trouble for getting hammered and screaming obscenities about Notre Dame at the Mike and Mike roast. You, in the articles that I saw, were cited as a guy who could have gotten away with it. She was suspended for a week. Fair or not fair?

Yeah, that was an interesting turn. Fair or not fair? I would say not fair. Because what happens at a roast stays at a roast, especially at a private, un-televised roast. And you can't send people onstage with a microphone and booze and not expect somebody to have too good a time.

To his credit, Charlie Weis was a great sport, and he seemed to be okay with it. I was exceptionally vicious on him. And he was laughing his boobs off. I mean, he’s a big man. I called him the Lunchback of Notre Dame. I said, "What happened, Charlie? It looked like you put on all your freshmen's 15." And he loved it, because I took the time to write good stuff about him.

Dana was sort of on a rant, and wasn't particularly interesting, wasn't funny, was arguably tragic. Eddie Griffin handed her a bottle of Grey Goose, and she was just drinking it right out of the bottle -- which, normally, at a roast, would be a lot of fun. You want a chick like that at a roast! She was our Courtney Love for the night. But unfortunately, she got punished, and I think it wasn’t necessarily fair. Probably appropriate, but not fair.

Is there a lesson that comes out of this?

Leave the roasting to the professionals. This is like driving a race car. This is not for amateurs.

Even Gene Simmons has sex tape online now

You will sure question the existence of a righteous creator god once you realize that yes, Gene Simmons allegedly has a sex tape.

The very NSFW Web site GenesSecret.com is offering an eyeful of the aging Kiss bass player with an Australia woman called Elsa who is likely A) half his age and B) finding a creative way to make rent this month.

Actually, Adult Video News says she’s the spokesmodel for Frank’s Energy Drink, which is obviously not helping her career as much as she’d like. Be careful with this, because the use of Foreigner’s I Want to Know What Love Is tends to be the most psyche-scarring part of the whole thing.

It’s anyone’s guess if it really is Simmons in the clip, as the footage is grainy (as it always is) and the site is apparently operated out of Panama (and doesn’t work half the time), but we’d be willing to bet he’s looking to draw a little more attention to his Family Jewels.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Lindsay Lohan wasn't clear about being naked

A lot of Juice* readers are wondering what in the world Lindsay Lohan was thinking when she recreated Marilyn Monroe's nude photo finale. Not only is it tempting fate by aping a starlet who died of a drug overdose, but many can’t believe LiLo would take it all off for New York magazine.

But RadarOnline is suggesting that Linds may have agreed to do them because she didn’t know the most revealing shots would be published. The music source says rumor has it 78-year-old photographer Bert Stern (picture that one, folks) just might’ve suggested that the nudes “would be displayed only in a museum or as part of his book and that the tamer shots would go to New York.” It didn’t quite happen that way, obvs.

The magazine had no real comment, with communications manager Lauren Starke sending a statement that simply said, “We’re very grateful to Lindsay Lohan for participating in this historic photo shoot with Bert Stern and we hope that she is as pleased with the beautiful results as we are.” Well, we can guess New York’s circulation department is pleased.

And to throw in a pointless quote, Lohan’s publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik tells Radar of the shoot: “Obviously you can see her breasts are real.” Thanks for clearing that up, although it doesn’t answer why you’d let an old man take pics of all your freckles if you don’t want them getting out.

Pamela Anderson's stripteases were sold out

In case you weren’t able to cough up roughly $300 per ticket and a flight to Paris to catch one of Pamela Anderson’s two striptease shows at the Crazy Horse cabaret, People has the scoop.

The magazine’s Web site says the 40-year-old Anderson zoomed onstage astride a motorcycle wearing a sheer black body stocking, much to the delight of the 500 paying customers at each sold-out show. She was emulating Brigitte Bardot’s Harley Davidson, a fact noticed by the '50s cheescake queen, who called Anderson to wish her well.

“She was totally into it — it was impressive,” a showgoer told the site. And the crowd responded very warmly.” The Crazy Horse likely responded warmly as well, since Pammie agreed to do the shows without getting paid.

“This isn’t for money,” she said. “It’s just for the love of the art, and the Crazy Horse does it best.”

But she still got a few perks. “They have to cover their costs,” she added. “They flew me over here. And I am very high maintenance.” That’s what her plastic surgeon said!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Katie Price can't contain herself at book launch

Lad-mag and reality TV fans have known for years how trashy and foul-mouthed Katie Price (a.k.a Jordan) is, so it should come as no surprise she had a little wardrobe malfunction at a book launch on Thursday.

Several British media outlets say Price was promoting her third autobiography (such an eventful life, it couldn’t fit in one book!) at a book store in London when her streetwalker-meets-Wonder Woman outfit decided to reveal a little more than the plot of the story.

And for all you angry readers who think The Juice* publishes nothing but trash ... thank you! But we can't show you the actual slippage here.

It’s a good thing Price has tried so hard to get rid of people associating her with Jordan — she recently spent thousands reducing her bust from a 32G all the way down to a 32F.

But the real wisecrack here is the title of the book she was shilling when she popped out of her corset: Jordan: Pushed to the Limit.

She's really busting out of her stereotype, don't you think? We've got a million of these ...

[Photos: Getty Images]

Pamela Anderson will strip on Valentine's Day

Looking for something to do on Valentine’s Day? Why not head to Paris to see more of 40-year-old Pamela Anderson than you probably really want to at this point. The U.K.’s Sun reports the trash queen has agreed to four striptease performances at Le Crazy Horse cabaret on Feb. 13 and 14.

Apparently club owner Andree Diessenberg decided to sign her up after seeing her assisting magician Hans Klok at his Las Vegas show in ’07 (like she was some undiscovered beauty or something).

“Pamela chose the dates herself. But when I saw her onstage, I said to myself right away, ‘I have to put her onstage.’ What a knockout!” he said. “Pamela will perform a Brigitte Bardot tribute number entitled Harley Davidson and will also appear in the finale.”

There’s still some debate over whether Pammie will appear fully nude at the Parisian club. What, like she still has some modesty left?

[Photo: With Klok last June. Getty Images]

Judge busts lawyer for Heidi Montag mag

Heidi Montag’s image on the cover of Maxim made a judge in Salisbury, N.C., pretty steamed on Wednesday, prompting the official to find a lawyer in contempt for reading smut in the courtroom.

Rowan County District Court Judge Kevin Eddinger threw the book at local attorney Todd Paris for looking at the mag, which Eddinger described as featuring “a female topless model” on the cover, the Salisbury Post reports. (Maxim, of course, doesn't show actual nudity, much like we suspect North Carolina doesn't feature actual courts.)

Despite insisting the lad mag wasn’t pornography and saying he meant no harm, Paris was fined $300, given a 15-day suspended jail sentence and was put on unsupervised probation for one year. And that’s just further proof of the harm plastic surgery can do.

Heidi Montag says 'Hills,' breasts are fake

It’s no secret that The Hills star Heidi Montag recently had some work done — getting a nose job, breast implants and some injections into her lips — but she’s really showing it off in the February issue of Maxim. Not only that, she finally — finally! — admits The Hills are “edited for drama … It’s not like The Truman Show. They’re not with us all the time, although I wish they were, because it would be a way crazier show.” God help us.

We also haven’t heard a lot about fiance Spencer Pratt. What’s up with that engagement? “It’s on pause,” she admits. “It was causing us to fight, so we decided not to deal with it. I still have (the ring). But I guess when we decide to resume the wedding, I’ll need a new ring.” Because putting on the old one wouldn’t be quite expensive enough.

Vanessa Hudgens speaks about being naked

"I was just open with her, and she was just so cute. She was like, 'Well, everyone can be naked if they want to.'"

— Vanessa Hudgens, telling Seventeen how supportive her mother was after Vanessa's nude photos were splashed all over the Internet.

[Photo: AP]

Jennifer Love Hewitt says no to 'Playboy'

If you haven’t gotten enough of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s bikini bottom now that it’s ignited more debate on body image than the cubism movement, chew on this: Playboy’s Hugh Hefner apparently offered J-Love “a substantial amount” of dosh to pose in much less in the pages of his mag, In Touch says.

The offer apparently came as a response to the much-maligned pics from her November trip to Hawaii. But don’t head to the 7-Eleven just yet; Hewitt’s rep says she was flattered by the offer, but just said no, crushing men who’ve been following her since her Party of Five days.

[Photo: Getty Images]

'Jackass 2.5': The 'In Rainbows' of movies

The gross-out daredevils of Jackass pulled a new stunt for their sequel: bypassing the movie theater entirely. Jackass 2.5 will be released to the Internet with unreleased footage from Jackass Number Two and new content. “It’s the first broadband movie ever distributed by a major studio,” said Thomas Lesinski, President of Paramount Pictures Digital Entertainment. Blockbuster will offer it for free at www.blockbuster.jackassworld.com from Dec. 19 through Dec. 31. It will go on sale on Dec. 26 on DVD. The film will also be available for download at iTunes, Amazon.com and other sites. It’s exactly the kind of new-media revenue stream that Hollywood writers are striking to get a piece of, except for the fact that Jackass doesn’t require writers, just low IQs.

And no, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you: That is a saucy young lady checking out Steve-O's tush in the photo above. Shudder.

(Photo: AP)

Porn star Mary Carey auctions breast implants

Members of The Juice* audience know the name Mary Carey, whom you may recall as the porn star who ran for governor of California against Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2003.

The star of Double Air Bags 11 is back in the news since replacing her 36-D breast implants with 36-DDDs two weeks ago. Why is that news? Because she plans to sell the old implants and give the money to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation (well, about 90 percent, anyway).

“The doctors asked me what I wanted to do with them and I said, ‘You know what, I’m going to keep them and try to sell them,’ because my grandmother had breast cancer,” Carey told Reuters. Check the link to the eBay auction here. She plans to use the rest of the money to pay medical bills for her mother, who jumped off a four-story building last year.

Nothing says “I care about breast cancer” than a pair of used — and autographed! —breast implants from a Xanax junkie whose claim to fame before her upcoming Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew stint was a major role in Boobsville Sorority Girls.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Klum is a snowflake

Victoria's Secret trotted out the big guns (supermodel-wise) for its annual fashion show, which took place Thursday night in Hollywood. Heidi Klum took a break from doing nothing on Project Runway to squeeze into this sparkly little number, which looks quite comfortable. Am I right, ladies?

The show airs Dec. 4 on CBS. Here are some more pics, beginning with Heidi again.

Here's Adriana Lima.

Here are the Spice Girls, circa 2007.

And here's a close-up of Posh "Victoria Beckham" Spice. Oh, no, wait -- this is a wax animatronic figurine for Disney's new ride, "Country Beckhams Jamboree."

 

Here are James Van Der Beek and Hayden Panettiere at the after party. No idea why they're together.

And finally, since all you pervs are just trolly for panty shots anyway, here's one more image of Karolina Kurkova.

(Photos: Getty Images)

Oscar de la Hoya's panties in a bunch

So remember a while back when all those kinky photos of Oscar de la Hoya in girly underpants and fishnet body stockings started making the rounds on the Interwebz? (If you didn't see them, trust us, you don't want to Google them.) The Golden Boy cried Photoshop on the images, which seemed to make sense to everyone in the world -- except the woman who supplied the photos. Now Milana Dravnel is suing de la Hoya for $100 million for claiming the pictures are fake, thereby ruining her chance to sell the pictures for big bucks. Dravnel, a Siberian stripper at Scores in New York, says de la Hoya wore a thong, high heels and stockings under his own shorts, and liked her to call him "Goldie." "It was for laughs," Dravnel told the New York Post. "I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I don't believe he's gay." Her lawyer added: "This is a serious case! ... He's gonna want to settle it."

(Photo: AP)

David Beckham's underpants are worth $41 million

Considering how much the L.A. Galaxy is paying him to not pay soccer — $250 million — Giorgio Armani may have gotten a deal by signing David Beckham to a three-year, $41 million deal to endorse underpants. The London Telegraph says Beckham will show up on billboards and fashion mags to promote Armani’s new Emporio SS08 line of underwear. In a way, this is appropriate — since he’s been hurt, all Beckham’s really been fit to do is sit around in his tighty-whiteys. Now it looks like he’ll get paid for the privilege.

(Photo: AP)

Boy George's chain hang low

Ladies and gentlemen ... Mr. Boy George.

LONDON (Reuters) - Police charged pop singer Boy George with false imprisonment on Tuesday after he allegedly chained a man to a wall at his London home.

Boy George, whose real name is George O'Dowd, was released on police bail and is scheduled to appear in court on November 22.

"George O'Dowd ... is charged with false imprisonment of a 28-year-old male ... on April 28, 2007," a police spokeswoman said.

The 47-year-old former Culture Club frontman was arrested in May after a man accused him of "false imprisonment and common assault" at the singer's London home.

Seriously though ... who would want to run from this face?

(Photo: AP)

Carmen Electra's nude wrestling scandal!

Look, it's not like we sit around all day Googling "Carmen Electra" and "naked wrestling," all right? But when a story drops that somehow manages to combine the two, well, we’re duty-bound to report on it. According to E! Online, Electra is suing something called the Naked Women's Wrestling League for breach of contract and unfair business practices, alleging that she never received the bulk of a promised $400,000 payday and a cut of DVD sales from four pay-per-view hosting appearances. Electra's lawyers say the use of her name and photos to promote such DVD titles as Operation Naked Storm, Bush vs. Hussein, Tag Team Dream and Twin Peaks equate to $3.3-million in compensatory damages, plus attorney’s fees. The NWWL says Carmen’s full of it. (Memo to The Juice*’s editors: We believe this story merits further inquiry. Many, many hours of inquiry.)

(Yes, that's an image of Carmen Electra playing Guitar Hero III. If we can't show you a naked Carmen Electra photo, that's probably the next-best thing.)

(Photo: AP)

Naked Harry Potter coming to N.Y.

Only in Albus Dumbledore's wildest fantasies did this seem possible: Daniel Radcliffe's play Naked Harry Potter is coming to Broadway in September 2008. (Okay, we know the play's official title is Equus. Same diff.) The 18-year-old actor strips to the buff for the play, a story about a disturbed youth who blinds horses. "It’s a good thing, it’s healthy," Radcliffe told BBC News. "I'm obviously nervous but I'm very, very excited." He said he hopes the play will become a different kind of Broadway sensation: "If we can get a straight play to really succeed in the world of theatre that is so besieged by musicals, that would be a real achievement and I think the time is absolutely right to do it there. For a kid who grew up listening to showbiz tunes in the car, Broadway is a big, big thing. All the people I know in New York say New York is ready for this kind of play." For what it’s worth, Muggles, Radcliffe's Harry Potter co-star Richard “Uncle Vernon” Griffiths will also reprise his role in the show.

(Photo: AP)

Britney blah blah kids blah court blah no undies

What would a day be without Britney Spears drama? On Thursday, Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon gave lawyers for Spears and Kevin Federline more time to discuss the singer’s visitation rights with their children, then ended the hearing without making a ruling on Brit’s request for overnight visits.

The hearing was a result of Spears filing an emergency motion to see Sean and Jayden, who were taken away from her on Oct. 1, the AP reports. The dire situation? Spears’ attorney, Anne Kiley, claimed overnight visits are critical for Spears to bond with her sons, since she can’t do that bonding while sucking down appletinis in Las Vegas.

“I do think it is an emergency for them not to have overnights with their mother, which they’ve always had,” Kiley said. “What possible concern can he (Federline) have if there are monitors present?”

Britney was so concerned, in fact, that she couldn’t even be bothered to attend the hearing (Federline also was absent) until after the commisioner refused to rule. 

K-Fed’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, was unimpressed, saying it was frustrating for Spears to try and bring this back to court so soon.

“If she could remedy all of those problems ... in one week, that would be a miracle,” he said.

One problem she couldn’t remedy is her missing underwear issues. Bratney was photographed sans undies yet again on a shopping trip, with those pics making the rounds on the InterWebs. Please cover your mouth when you yawn.

UPDATE: So, she apparently won overnight visitation rights with her kids. But she still has to be monitored. Woot. We're more interested about when Gordon said, "I understand you have a medical condition" when she didn't take her sunglasses off. What is she, some kind of vampire?

Read the AP story here.

[Photo: AP]

Lou Pearlman: I'm too fat for towels, pedophilia

Lou Pearlman has decided to dish about Vanity Fair’s assertion that he really, really l