Brooke Hogan lashes out on MySpace blog

Brooke Hogan is all sorts of torqued about the backlash against her family following her brother Nick's no contest plea, so she chose to sound off on her MySpace page about it.

"I know most of the public thinks my brother is some rich little selfish kid, but NO ONE knows the real story and I'm really pissed that the truth didn't come out from either side," she wrote. "A LOT of lies were told in that trial. Believe me. And it wasn't from us. John (Graziano) was NEVER home. He was at our house. ALL THE TIME."

She also ripped on how you idiots who watch Hogan Knows Best and for some reason give a damn about them had better get up off it, because reality TV is anything but. Who knew?

"And by the way, before you judge anybody, make sure you really know them. I promise you if you were to meet my brother he would give you the shirt off his back. He's not "NICK HOGAN." AND hes not the person he plays on tv. People are so gullible now a days…"

Of course, that rant was taken down after awhile and replaced with: "wtvr I have the truth on my side. And the truth will set everyone straight sooner or later. PEACE ps: yes I took my last one off cause I know itll go around anyway. Have at it ppl."

Well, golly. It's a good thing we and lots of other folks saw it, so here we are, having at it. What? She said we could.

[Photo: AP]

Source

Mischa Barton says cellulite pics are faked

Paparazzi photos of Mischa Barton's lumpy thighs ended up in celebrity mags and tabloids recently, including Britain's Daily Mail, causing the former O.C. starlet to cry foul.

She initially told Ok!, "Every woman does have cellulite! I just feel like the photographers try to get the most unflattering shots." But now shes saying some digital trickery had to have been involved.

"Those photos are doctored," Barton's rep, Lisa Perkins, told the New York Daily News. "I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old."

And what's Perkins have for proof?

"Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There's a lot you can do with Photoshopping."

Believe us, we know; but does that mean these were faked? Look at the pics in question here and sound off below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Miley Cyrus could pose in 'Playboy,' Hefner says

Apparently announcing Jayde Nicole was the new Playmate of the Year wasn't enough for Playboy's Hugh Hefner, since he spouted off on Extra that Miley Cyrus would be "welcomed in the magazine" when she's legal. Dude, she's FIFTEEN!

That doesn't keep the 82-year-old from calling her a "very pretty lady," and defending her recent Vanity Fair photos.

"I think to make such a big to do over something as innocent as those photos, I think is a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality," Hefner told Extra. Excuse us while we go shower with pure lye to get the gross off of us.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Uma Thurman's stalker convicted on 2 counts

Jack Jordan, the 37-year-old former mental patient who had a habit of following Uma Thurman everywhere, has been convicted of stalking and one count of aggravated harassment, the AP reports.

The unemployed lifeguard and pool cleaner faces up to a year in jail. He was acquitted of two other harassment counts. The lascivious behavior had been going on for two years.

"In a misguided way I was trying to give her an opportunity to meet me and give myself an opportunity to meet her," Jordan testified in his defense on Friday. "I was feeling distressed. I had this feeling of longing for Ms. Thurman and I was trying to explain it. I was not trying to scare her in any way."

News to self: Sending an actress a letter in which you say her two children didn't exist and were "an illusion" will probably scare her.

[Photo: AP]

Video shows Ashley Dupre gave 'GGW' consent

We let the news side handle word that Eliot Spitzer's favorite hooker, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, was suing Girls Gone Wild creep Joe Francis for $10 million after she claimed she was only 17 when video of her was shot. She was accusing Francis of exploiting her image and name on the Internet. But we'll report that the joke's on her, though -- Francis and Co. have produced video of her confirming her age and giving a fake name, the AP reports.

Dupre is shown in a towel telling an offscreen questioner that her name is Amber Arpaio. "Do you know what Girls Gone Wild is?" the questioner asks. "Yes I do," she replies with a laugh. "Can I use this on Girls Gone Wild?" she is asked. "Of course you can," Dupre answers. The video also displays a New Jersey driver's license with the Amber Arpaio name and a birth date that would have made her appear to be in her 20s. Oops.

Her lawyer and PR firm wouldn't return calls from the AP, probably because they're too busy trying to beat some sense into her. You can find the AP video by clicking here.

[Photo: AP]

Fresno baseball team ribs Team Miley over pics

There's not much more on the Miley Cyrus front today so far, but the Visalia (Calif.) Times-Delta sure knows how to have fun with a stupid situation. After the craziness surrounding the 15-year-old's Vanity Fair shoot, the Fresno Grizzlies are having a laugh at dad Billy Ray Cyrus' expense.

The minor league baseball team is offering a "Hanna Montana Ride Your Kid's Coattails Night" on Wednesday. Parents who bring an award their child has won will get a $1 ticket to the game. You know, like a perfect-attendance award or a swimming medal, the paper clarifies.

“We’re distraught about the negative publicity that Miley Cyrus has recently received and terrified that this may impact the resurgence of Billy Ray’s career,” said Scott Carter, Vice President of Marketing for the Grizzlies. Hope Billy Ray can take a joke. But who cares? Baseball for a dollar!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Amy Winehouse cheats on her husband twice

What we like about Amy Winehouse is that she gives us an alternate to the troubled starlets on this side of the pond and hits a sweet spot in fame -- she's known well enough to be interesting, but not well enough for anyone to actually care. With that attitude, we share the Sun's report that she not only plans to divorce her jailbird husband Blake Fielder-Civil, but has cheated on him twice.

Besides a fling with her manager's aide, Alex Haines, she recently took up with American photographer Blake Wood. Wow, now her similarities to Britney Spears are going to a whole new level. A source says her friends referred to him as Blake II, and she hooked up with him just as she was getting out of rehab and staying at London's Park Plaza hotel.

“You could hear them down the hall," a friend said. "Her thing with Blake II lasted a few weeks. The pair barely left their room.”

They were introduced by Kelly Osbourne, the paper says, and Wood had apparently been helping her fight her drug addiction. But what the Sun's source said next chills us to our very core.

“It’s funny how she bedded the last two people who have been helping to look after her. Amy is sex-mad — and she gets what she wants.” Look at that picture and think about that. Shudder.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt crash dinner

To catch up on the weekend: When last we heard from Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, the Hills couple were getting disinvited from the White House Correspondents Dinner in D.C. on Saturday night, since Spencer thought it wasn't "A-listy" enough (i.e., he wasn't invited). But lo and behold, they managed to get in somehow.

The New York Post's Page Six says they weaseled into a couple seats at Fortune's table, and then went out for the night at various after-parties across the burg. One of the place's they dropped by was the Bloomberg LP shindig at the Costa Rican embassy, which was so over capacity that real stars like Colin Firth, Rob Lowe, Donatella Versace and Rupert Everett couldn't get in. Of course, a source tells the paper that the roof was leaking on guests anyway.

Meanwhile, Vanity Fair's party at political writer Christopher Hitchens' home went well (before the Miley Cyrus shoe dropped): Kal Penn was spotted with Salman Rushdie for a new high in incongruity, while Katie Couric, Rita Cosby, Charlie Rose and Tucker Carlson milled about, the paper says.

But for The Juice* faithful, the quote of the night came from the Capitol File party at the Newseum, where Rosario Dawson hosted and Pete Wentz acted as DJ. Before he took the tables, he gave a shout out to Ashlee Simpson by yelling, "I just want to thank my girlfriend's vagina!"

Now, now, Pete; the proper term is "my fiancee's vagina."

[Photo: Getty Images]

Mariah Carey is all caught up during 'GMA'

Don't dare make mistakes around divas, friends and neighbors, lest they eat you alive. Such is the case with Mariah Carey's performance on Good Morning America on Friday morning (see video below).

While Mimi looks H-O-double-T in a pink minidress, things got off to a bad start right after her introduction, with the track of backing vocals for Touch My Body starting a wee early. But here's the funny part: About three minutes in, she turns and stares at a backup singer, working the line "Stop singing my part now baby" into the lyrics. Bam!

After the performance the diva smiled and announced to the crowd she tries "to bring something new to the moment every time." Yeah, like threatening her lackeys live on national television. Hey, the song does say she'll hunt you down.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Amy Winehouse arrested; husband flirts on

Remember Amy Winehouse's fab night out, during which she was doing drugs and headbutting people? It earned her a ticket to Bobbyville on Friday, as the 24-year-old was arrested at a London police station on suspicion of assault.

The Daily Mail says Wino was due to be questioned about allegedly headbutting a 38-year-old man who approached ehr as she was trying to get in a taxi early last Wednesday. Folks in her camp say she was felt he was trying to molest her, because she oozes all sorts of class. She faces up to six months in jail and a $4,000 fine.

Speaking of jail, her no-good hubby Blake Fielder-Civil appeared in court on charges of assault and "conspiracy to pervert the course of justice" to pub landlord James King. Something tells us Blake knows all about perversion, but he denied both allegation.

And since Amy wasn't at the hearing, he was free to flirt with Sophie Schandorff, a blonde sitting in the gallery who described herself as a close friend. How close? He mouthed "You all right, babe?" and "I love you" to the 21-year-old, who mouthed "I love you" back.

Maybe that's why Wino was caught doing drugs in a restaurant bathroom the night before. Seriously, her addictions are bad enough, but when a guy like Blake thinks you're not worth the trouble, that's a reason to be depressed.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Darth Vader attacks new Jedi church in U.K.

A man posing as Darth Vader attacked a Star Wars fan who had founded a Jedi church in Britain, the BBC reports. Arwel Hughes, 27, from Holyhead, told a court he was drunk when he jumped over a garden wall wearing a black garbage bag and a cape, and shouting "Darth Vader!"

He admitted hitting Barney Jones with a metal crutch. A prosecutor said Jones had recently started the Jedi church, and it had about 30 members. Jones and his cousin had been filming themselves playing with lightsabers in the garden before the attack.

Police said Hughes had drunk the best part of a 10-liter box of wine and could not remember the incident. We're surprised he remembered who Darth Vader was.

[Photo: AP]

TomKat blow $100k on Suri Cruise's birthday

Think you're spoiling your kid? Think about poor little Suri Cruise, whose folks blew $100,000 on her second birthday party on April 18. That's five zeroes, mind you.

The New York Daily News and In Touch Weekly say Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes invited 24 people to an afternoon bash. Everyone got an individual designer cake in the shape of a hat bearing that person's name, with a butterfly and a daisy on the brim.

They also ordered $230 worth of cupcakes in flavors like lemon coconut and chai latte, in case that wasn't enough sugar. But the main event was Suri's four-tiered, polka-dotted cake, which was covered in yellow and white sugar butterflies. (Suri is into the butterflies, apparently.)

"They're very specific about what they like," said baker Jane Lockhart, owner of Sweet Lady Jane Bakery in West Hollywood, which made the cakes. "They wanted (Suri's) cake to look simple and childlike so they designed it themselves, which was kind of interesting. They brought in photos they had seen of butterflies and other cakes."

After eating an additional $45,000 in food from Wolfgang Puck and enjoying $17,000 worth of fresh flowers, the day gave way to an evening affair for TomKat's close friends, including David and Victoria Beckham, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Eva Longoria Parker and Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy.

We're sure they all sat around the Cruise compound and discussed rising gas prices, health insurance premiums and global food costs as they were gorging on birthday cake and avarice. Why wouldn't they?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Photos show Miley Cyrus in her bra, being 15

Well, Juice*heads, we tried to take the high road on this one. If you read today's print edition, we allude to the fact that some leaked photos of Miley Cyrus are spreading far and wide on the Internet because of their supposed lascivious contents, but we wanted to ignore it. But oh no, you all are clamoring for more, so here we go.

The shots show the 15-year-old pop sensation pulling down her shirt to show off a green bra, while two more show her draped across some guy's lap, and even (gasp!) pulling up her shirt. There's been no response from the Cyrus camp about the pics (there's speculation it's not even her), but it echoes the photos last year of her hanging out in a hotel room with a female friend. Except, you know, the friend was female.

It's ridiculous that Cyrus had to say there was "nothing bad" about the sleepover photos, because looking at the photos, they dont' seem much worse than anything in high school yearbooks these days. Oh, and remember that bikini pic that came out? Yeah, that was sooo totally outrageous. Who knew 15-year-olds wore bathing suits?

LINK: We don't want to court possible legal issues, so if you're dreadfully curious, Tyler Durden has the pics here.

Meanwhile, the AP says she signed that book deal we were telling you about, so how’s that for real news?

“I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” she said in a statement. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”

Now quit worrying about what some teen-ager you don't even know is doing and get back to work.

[Photo: Getty Images. And btw, this will be the first post filed in our new "Miley Cyrus" category, so now you'll get all your dirt in one place.]

Gary Busey owes more than $50k in back rent

As if Gary Busey didn't have enough problems, ContactMusic.com says he's getting evicted from his Malibu home of 14 years? Apparently Busey owes something to the tune of $50,000 in back rent because he hasn't paid his landlord in almost a year.

"It's true he owed over $50,000 in back rent -- but he stopped paying because of a health issue," Busey's attorney Vicki Roberts says, denying the actor is broke. "The landlord wouldn't clean out the vents."

Busey says the vents are riddled with mold, and the air handling system in the $6,000-a-month joint is making him sick. That might explain his strange behavior at the Oscars. Wait a minute, $6,000 a month? Do movies like Succubus: Hell Bent and Blizhniy Boy: The Ultimate Fighter pay that well?

[Photo: Getty Images]

David Hasselhoff pays Pam Bach $25k monthly

David Hasselhoff has to pay the price for ending a contentious marriage to ex-wife Pamela Bach -- to the tune of $25,000 a month, the AP reports. Court documents released Thursday show the couple's divorce settlement demands he pay $21,000 a month to Bach and another $4,000 to support daughters Taylor, 17, and Hayley, 15. That's a lot of drunken cheeseburgers.

The couple divorced in 2006 after more than 16 years of marriage. They will have joint custody of their children and their San Fernando Valley home. We wonder if they're going to tape the house down the middle like that episode of The Brady Bunch. They will be dividing the family's cars, bank accounts and Hasselhoff's pensions from acting and directing guilds.

Wait a minute: It took two years to decide Bach deserved that much, while the kids don't even get a fifth of the cash even though they're dependents? That Baywatch money was way to kind to her. And remind us not to anger Mrs. Juice* too much.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Joe Simpson wants pic deal for Ashlee's baby

We'll let the "is she or isn't she?" talk about Ashlee Simpson's supposed pregnancy slide for now, because the New York Post's Page Six says papa Joe Simpson is already pimping his daughter's baby out to celeb glossies.

"Joe is contacting all the weeklies and asking them to pony up $1 million to put Ashlee on the cover," a magazine insider said. "The deal would include photos of Ashlee -- taken by Joe, of course, so he can make more money -- an interview and photos of the baby when she has it."

He's all heart, ain't he? But a million is a lot to ask, and no one is putting up that kind of coin.

"$60,000 maybe -- but definitely not a million," one nameless editor says. "The timing is a little suspicious. Her album (Bittersweet World) is dropping next week, and there was little to no interest until now. Ashlee's lucky she got pregnant, frankly."

Hey, Joe knows exactly what he's doing. Seriously, look how wildly successful Jessica is lately.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Rupert Grint hates mindless L.A. starlets

While Daniel Radcliffe gets all the kudos for the Harry Potter series, let's not forget his sidekick Rupert Grint, who sounds like he's got a decent-sized noodle between his ears. The 19-year-old actor was quoted by Showbiz Spy as saying he won't be moving to L.A., saying Lindsay Lohan is the reason he's changed his mind.

“I met Lindsay last summer and she talked about herself a lot," Grint said. “She said she was going to win an Oscar before she turns 25. I just kept thinking, ‘But you can’t act.’ ” Ouch!

And then young Rupert says something so profound, it has moved us to break our yearlong ban on printing the name Paris Hilton: “I haven’t met Paris and don’t want to either,” he said. “She and Lindsay are the type of girls you need to stay away from.”

With that kind of level-headedness, it's no wonder Grint is winning the attentions of Jessie Cave in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Debbie Gibson now has her very own stalker

Debbie (excuse us, Deborah) Gibson is so popular she's got her very own stalker. The singer filed for a restraining order against Spaniard Bassas Jorge Puigdollers, asking that the 44-year-old be kept 100 yards away, not try to contact her and stop attending her concerts, the AP reports.

"I wanted to use the fan club to help people who can't go see her to get autographs and photos," he told the AP in Spanish, adding that the correct spelling and order of his name is Jordi Bassas Puigdollers. Gibson claimed Puigdollers has attended all her "nationwide performances since 2002 and often tries to get backstage to get her autograph and follows her to her hotel room.

The fun and games ended Sunday, however, when he showed up at her L.A. home on Sunday, prompting a call to police and an emergency protective order that expires Friday. A hearing on her request is scheduled for May 28.

"I understand that she wants her privacy," said Puigdollers, a taxi driver. "I would like to say I'm sorry. I don't want problems and I don't want to bother her so much." That must explain why he plans on attending five of her concerts in Atlantic City in May.

[Photo: Getty Images]

News flash: Everyone hates Heather Mills

Heather Mills may have been roundly booed by the audience at last weekend's Miss USA pageant, but the producers weren't giving her many cheers, either. The New York Post's Page Six says the ex-Mrs. Paul McCartney almost didn't do the show from Vegas because she got all diva during contract negotiations.

"She flat out refused because of one line," an insider said. "They went back and forth rewriting and finally threatened to pull her from it altogether. She still wouldn't sign it because she wants to get paid if they resell the footage. Her ego is enormous, and it's getting bigger by the minute."

So big, in fact, that the folks who booked her vowed to never again offer her a job. That doesn't bode well for her professed move to States, since Mills said she and daughter Beatrice were moving to L.A. Sources tell Page Six that she's even thinking of hiring Elliot Mintz, former rep for an unnameable heirhead. Look how well that relationship turned out!

[Photo: Getty Images]

Alicia Keys thinks feds invented gangsta rap

Alicia Keys sure has some interesting theories about where the big trends in hip-hop are coming from -- namely, good ol' Uncle Sam. Keys told Blender that "gangsta rap" was created as a government ploy to convince black people to kill each other.

"'Gangsta rap' didn't exist," Keys said in an interview, which will be in the May issue out Tuesday. Who's responsible? "The government." She goes on to say that the deaths of Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. were egged on by The Man.

"(The murders were fuelled) by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing," she said. Keys apparently wore a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck during the interview ecause it "symbolizes strength, power and killing them dead." It's no surprise that Keys has been reading books by leaders of the Black Panthers lately.

At this point The Juice* would crack a joke at Keys' expense, but really, she's starting to freak us out. Next thing you know, she'll be telling us the White House made up reasons to invade Iraq.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Barron Hilton pleads no contest in DUI charge

It’s time for a Juice* followup report: CelebTV.com is reporting that Barron Hilton, the 18-year-old troublemaker brother of one overcelebrated heirhead we never write about, pleaded no contest Wednesday to his February DUI charge.

His attorney, Rich Hutton, entered the plea in a Malibu courthouse, a few days ahead of the scheduled April 14 court date. Might the rich folk be trying to avoid media spectacle once again?

Even if they are, the site is reporting that Barron must visit an L.A. County morgue to see what drinking and driving does, and will be lectured by Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Good thing, because apparently Kathy and Richard aren’t doing it. He wonder if he gave that fake ID to his brother Conrad so he, too, can get arrested for being a scofflaw.

[Photo: AP]

Naomi Campbell spewed racist slurs in arrest

Really, who buys things because Naomi Campbell models them? Surely not security at London's Heathrow Airport, who have plenty to be PO'd about if what the U.K.'s Sun says Campbell called them is true.

The tabloid says the supermodel's rage in Terminal 5 last week was accompanied by some choice nastiness. She apparently called a white, female police officer a "white ****" (whatever a **** is) and a "white s**g," which The Juice* can only assume means slag or shag, both words rendered harmless in our print by Americans' complete indifference to them.

But our favorite is the report's claim that Naomi called the cop and her pals "f***ing white honkeys" after she was dragged off the flight to L.A. in handcuffs. Scotland yard staff were apparently furious about statements Campbell allegedly made to a friend about the reason for her arrest. "It just goes to show I have to fight for who I am," she supposedly said. "It’s because I’m black.”

Actually, Na-Na, it's because you freaked out when a bag didn't make it onto the plane, spitting on cops and making a scene. Security generally doesn't like that.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Madonna's hometown: Let us honor you!

Madonna may have a chart-topping single, a $120 million deal with Live Nation and a permanent place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but there’s one thing she doesn’t have: A key to the city of Bay City, Mich. Community leaders hope to change that, however, formally inviting their favorite native daughter back home to accept “the highest honor that Bay City can offer,” Mayor Charles M. Brunner wrote in the invitation, according to the Bay City Times. “We have always been proud of your accomplishments.” Really? Back in the '80s, the city shunned the Material Materialist because they didn’t think she had what it took to be a huge star. Funny what a couple of decades being the biggest female musician on the planet will do for your rep. In a line so straight-laced it made us laugh out loud, E! Online reported: “There was no immediate comment from Madonna’s publicist.” No, really?

Rob Lowe gets crazy with the lawsuits

Okay, let’s see if we can make some sense out of this Rob Lowe extortion story. On Monday the actor posted a cryptic missive on the Huffington Post, in which he says an ex-employee was trying to extort $1.5 million from the Lowe family, or else she would accuse them “of a vicious laundry list of false terribles.”

Then things got really crazy.

On Monday, Rob and wife Sheryl filed separate lawsuits against two former nannies and a former chef — whom he alleges had sex on Lowe’s bed and stole prescription drugs. In all, the Lowes are levying several charges including defamation and violation of confidentiality, and they want millions of dollars in damages.

Let’s take this one suit at a time. According to TMZ and People, the Lowes say ex-nanny Jessica Gibson claimed to have “a personal and intimate relationship (with Lowe)”; that she “bragged” about giving Lowe a massage; that Lowe sexually harassed her; and that Sheryl made “inappropriate comments of a sexual and racial nature” to her. (This all sounds bad, but remember: The Lowes are alleging that Gibson is going around spreading all this stuff, which would be defamatory to the Lowes. Moving on.)

In another suit, the Lowes claim former nanny Laura Boyce spread “malicious lies” about the Lowes and used “intimate and salacious” details of her personal life using “profane and vulgar” language.

Finally, the Lowes sued chef Peter Clements, alleging he had sex on the Lowes’ bed “with third parties”; stole pills from their medicine cabinet; broke security cameras; and overcharged them for food. (Okay, stealing pills is one thing, but overcharging for food? That’s the last straw.) Clements told TMZ the allegations were all news to him.

“Everyone knows we live in a time where public figures are targets,” Lowe wrote in his HuffPo editorial. “Well I won’t go away. No one intimidates my family. ... We will defend ourselves with vigor and without fear.”

(Photo: AP)

Clooney: 'Head writer?

The Writers Guild of America was lampooned last week on South Park, and now they’ve made another powerful enemy: George Clooney. Clooney wanted a credit on the script for Leatherheads, after he claims he basically rewrote much of Rick Reilly and Duncan Brantley’s 17-year-old script. (Side note: Are you sure your want your name attached to that bomb, George? Just checkin’.) Variety says the WGA denied Clooney’s request, and so Clooney protested the only way he knew how: by scaling back his Guild membership to something called “financial core,” which means he’s still technically a member, and can therefore work on WGA-approved productions, but that’s about it. Otherwise, he said he would have quit the Guild entirely. “When your own union doesn’t back what you’ve done, the only honorable thing to do is not participate,” Clooney said. Even more amazing? This whole imbroglio went down before the writers strike last fall, and Clooney chose not to publicize it, because he didn’t want to hurt the Guild’s position. And then they go and do him like this?

(Handout photo)

Shockingly, Dita Von Teese made some porn

Wow, The U.K.'s Sun says new Wonderbra spokesmodel Dita Von Teese (a.k.a. Heather Sweet, a.k.a. ex-Mrs. Marilyn Manson) has a mysterious background in porn. You think? Seriously, it's not like she hung her shingle on being a fetish queen or burlesque performer or anything.

Anyway, the meat of the story is somewhere out there on the InterWebs there's kinky video of Von Teese being spanked and having all-girl orgies with sex toys that would make Jenna Jameson blush. The 35-year-old has been plying her burlesque shows as performance art for years -- which is really up to you to decide, dear readers -- and has been very outspoken in defending it.

The Sun posits that this will ruin her new gig with the lingerie company, but is there a woman on this earth who didn't think Dita's announced line of undergarments wasn't backed by a girl with a dark past?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Britney Spears' weight-loss secrets revealed!

As much as The Juice* wants Britney Spears to get her life back together, we find it both hilarious and sad that Ok! magazine felt the need to fudge the cover of its latest ish.

Under a headline screaming “Britney lost 15 lbs in just 4 weeks” (adding “no pills, no lipo”), the glossy claims that the one-time pop princess is “back to her old body.” They must have meant that quite literally, because The Huffington Post points out the cover is from 2003!

The pic in question is from Glamour’s Women of the Year issue, and probably had very little to do with dieting. (Head on over to www.WorldofBritney.com, which has the photo so you can see it much larger than this.)

That “miracle food” Ok! is talking about must be the Kool-Aid, if you catch our meaning. And trust us, dear tbt*-inis, if we mess with a photo, we’ll tell you in big letters that we did it.

[Photo: via The Huffington Post]

Jay Leno sorry about Ryan Phillippe gay jokes

Jay Leno didn't impress too many folks in the gay community last week by asking Ryan Philllippe to make his "gayest look" while the actor was being interviewed on The Tonight Show last week. But after GLAAD got all up in his grill, the late-night host has coughed up an apology, Us reports.

"In talking about Ryan's first role, I realize that what I said came out wrong," said Leno, whose yakking spawned the hilarious (and sorta NSFW) www.mygayestlook.com. "I certainly didn't mean any malice. I agree it was a dumb thing to say, and I apologize."

Leno had pointed out on the show last Thursday that Phillippe's first role was as a gay teenager on One Life to Live, and asked Ryan, "Can you give me your 'gayest look?'

"Say that camera is Billy Bob -– Billy Bob has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming," Leno went on.

"Wow," Phillippe replied. "That is so something I don't want to do."

The Juice* thrives on controversy like this, so we have to ask, do you think Jay went to far?

Stalker arrested outside John Cusack's house

A 33-year-old woman was arrested Sunday in Malibu on suspicion of stalking the 1980s' most lovable non-threatening boyfriend, John Cusack.

The L.A. Times reports Emily Leatherman was booked on charges of stalking, violating a restraining order and petty theft after L.A. County sheriff's deputies were called about a cab customer refusing to pay her fare. Leatheman had ridden the taxi to Cusack's home but wouldn't pay once they stopped.

By the time the cops arrived, Cusack flagged down a deputy and explained he had a restraining order against Leatherman. She had once before thrown a bag of love letters, rocks and screwdrivers over his fence onto his property, leading to the order. The TImes says she had thrown another bag over the fence this time, but authorities didn't say what was in it.

Leatherman is a busy stalker; Just last year she was arrested outside Tom Cruise's house, also for violating a restraining order. Can't she just stay home and watch Risky Business and Say Anything like a normal person? Get a Netflix account!

Madonna might want to remake 'Casablanca'

The Juice* is starting to think there is simply way too much Madonna news making its way into our midst, but how about this monument to absurdity? Madonna is scheming to remake Casablanca. And set it in Iraq. And then threaten the world with it in exchange for a bath drawn from the blood of 10,00 fair-skinned virgins, we're guessing.

The ever-reputable Daily Mail says the non-actress wants to hit it big, so why not destroy a cherished Hollywood classic in the process?

"She is still determined to make it in the movies. She and her representatives have been touting around a project which is a remake of Casablanca," a source told the paper. "The reception has been lukewarm to say the least. No one can understand why she wants to redo what many people consider the greatest film of all time."

The source goes on to say she wants to play Ingrid Bergman's Ilsa, and set the as-yet-unscripted flick in war-torn Iraq. At this rate, they'll probably replace Humphrey Bogart's Rick Blaine with Ashton Kutcher and have Sam play some ridiculous medley of Rick Astley songs. That's it; Madge has just got to be Rick Rolling all of us! 

[Photo: With husband-of-the-moment Guy Ritchie. Getty Images]

Tyra Banks is getting sick of 'Next Top Model'

We've had a spate of Tyra Banks news on The Juice* lately, and that's because we revel in having the TV-watching predilections of teen-aged girls by counting America's Next Top Model as one of our faves.

But all is not well on Banksian shores: Ok! says Tyra is so sick and tired of the grind (the show's on its 10th season) that she's looking for a way out. Not only that, but she and shoot director Jay Manuel (that'd be MISTER Jay to you) are on the outs.

“It’s gotten so bad that Tyra and Jay aren’t speaking,” a source told the magazine. “Tyra barely interacts with the contestants and only wants to show up on judging day.”

So it seems Ty-Ty is more focused on her inane talk show, and is looking for another model to replace her. Could that be why Paulina Porizkova is on this season? Eh, we doubt it.

“She’s putting lots of pressure on her staff to keep her show on the map," the source claims." She had Barack Obama on, she had Hillary Clinton on — she got a taste of playing with the big boys and now Top Model seems to detract from her big plans.”

You mean her big plans of super-sizing at McDonald's and getting her weave redone? That's right, we went there.

[Photo: CW]

Some guy can't stop stalking Tyra Banks

Tyra Banks is so popular these days she actually rates her very own stalker. The AP says Brady Green, of Dublin, Ga., was arrested after showing up at the March 18 taping of The Tyra Banks Show and asking to speak with the main event. He's been ordered to stay away or face jail time.

What's wrong with asking for a chat? Well, Green has been following Tyra from L.A. to New York since January, sending her flowers and asking for a little face time. He's also been calling and generally being a nuisance, leading the 34-year-old talk-show and reality TV host to file a complaint.

He was arraigned on charges of stalking, criminal trespass and harassment last week. He has to return to court on May 13, but faces up to a year in jail if he keeps his shenanigans up. We think Mr. and Ms. Jay from America's Next Top Model should take care of business.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Fergie's meth habit revealed dramatic FBI plot

We already know not to make sex tapes, but here's today's anti-drug message: Fergie tells the April issue of Marie Claire that when she was a meth-head circa 2001, she was so wigged out she thought the FBI was coming for her. The FBI and their muffins.

"I had about 20 different conspiracy theories. I painted the windows in my apartment black so they couldn't see in," the Dutchess says.

"One day, when I was about 90 pounds, a guy comes up to me ... I'm searching in the bushes for clues about whatever they're after me for. I'm in a cowboy hat and red lips. He hands me a muffin. I'm thinking, 'He's in on it.' "

And eventually the world found out that plan was to kidnap Stacy Ferguson, get her off the meth, get her a ton of plastic surgery and unleash London Bridge on the world.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Priscilla Presley has an injection horror story

Have you been wondering what's up with Priscilla Presley's face on ABC's Dancing With the Stars? It's not just that she's had cosmetic surgery, it's that she's had bad cosmetic surgery.

TMZ says Presley and a bunch of other Hollywood peeps are the victims of a scam by one Dr. Daniel Serrano, stemming from injections he gave them starting around 2003. Argentinian Serrano claimed to have an injectable treatment that would work better than Botox.

Problem was, he was actually shooting them with "industrial, low-grade silicone similar to what's used to lubricate auto parts in Argentina," the site says. It caused paralysis, lumps and even holes in people's faces.

The doctor wasn't even licensed to practice medicine in the U.S., making him quite the target for the FBI. He was indicted and convicted for smuggling drugs and the conspiracy and use of unapproved drugs, earning him the nickname Dr. Jiffy Lube.

Several women (and even some men), would have Serrano over to shove needles in their faces for up to $500 a hit. Larry King's wife Shawn and Diane Richie, Lionel's now ex-wife, had such parties. Shawn says she developed a lump in her lip that made it tough to talk or drink. Diane, on the other hand, was indicted as an accomplice but pleaded out for probation.

Presley, meanwhile, will be getting corrective work, TMZ says, but we'll still have to wince whenever DWTS does a closeup.

[Photo: While partner Louis Van Amstel is animated, Priscilla has been stone-faced on DWTS. ABC]

Winona Ryder might've been trying to shoplift

Has it really been six years since Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting from Sak's in Beverly Hills? Old habits die hard, it seems, as the 36-year-old actress was busted again, this time at a Hollywood drug store, the National Enquirer reports.

Ryder had finished making several purchases when the security alarm sounded as she was leaving.

"When a security guard stopped her, he found make-up she had not paid for," a store employee told the rag. When the store peeps asked her what's up, Winona apparently answered, "I don't know how that happened."

The store took the unpaid stuff back and let Winona go, because really, who would believe an actress of her immeasurable status would need to swipe some eye shadow?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Steve-O is in the hospital, obviously not well

Jackass prankster Steve-O (nee Stephen Glover) will be spending a little more time in the hospital after threatening suicide a week ago, Star reports.

The 33-year-old was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center last weekend after sending e-mails to friends saying he wanted to take his own life. He was put on a 72-hour hold a la Britney Spears, but the stay has been extended, Star says.

"Steve is stabilized on meds at this point," a source told magazine. "He was also treated for burns on his skin as if he had been putting cigarettes out on his own body."

Glover has been charged with felony possession of cocaine following a March 3 arrest, TMZ reports. That can't be helping his state of mind.

"Right now he's in his extreme mania," a family member said. "His concerned friends and family are hoping he'll seek treatment. He doesn't need jail, he needs therapy. We're just really hoping that this will be the wake-up call that gets him back to himself."

The suicidal tendencies apparently resulted from a failed relationship, leading to a troubled scene when he was admitted to Cedars-Sinai.

"Steve started flipping out," another source said. "He told doctors he wanted to hurt himself badly. He wanted to break every bone in his body one by one."

Suddenly the self-abusing career choices are making a lot more sense. Be sure and check out the latest video insanity posted to his YouTube profile above.

ICYMI: Paolo Calabresi is no Nicolas Cage

From our print brethren at tbt*'s SportsTalk:

When Nicolas Cage showed up for a recent Champions League match in Spain between Real Madrid and AS Roma, he was given the star treatment.

One problem: It was Italian TV host Paolo Calabresi posing as Cage. Calabresi, 43, bears a slight likeness to the Oscar winner.

He watched the match alongside Madrid president Ramon Calderon from the president's box at Santiago Bernabeu stadium.

"The truth is I was a little scared they would find me out, but from the first moment everyone was friendly with me," Calabresi tells the Marca newspaper. "We knew there would be many repercussions. My phone won't stop ringing."

Videos posted on Spanish media Web sites (like the one above) showed Calabresi, whose English was accompanied by a slight accent (which should have been the second tipoff, besides the obvious difference in appearance), being presented with a personalized team shirt. He also posed for photos with star striker Robinho.

Says SportsTalk: Mr. Calderon, you need to open a Netflix account.

Heath Ledger's will causing some family friction

While we reported yesterday that Heath Ledger’s daughter Matilda Rose and her mother, Michelle Williams, were not included in the actor’s will, there’s good and bad news to add to the story.

The good news: Heath’s parents and three sisters intend to help out, as they’ve said in the past.

“Matilda is our absolute priority, and Michelle is an integral part of our family,” Heath’s father Kim said. “They will be taken care of and that’s how Heath would want it to be.”

But the bad news comes via the U.K.’s Telegraph, which says the family is already having some fights over the money.

It seems Kim’s two brothers, Mike and Hadyn Ledger, have been yapping about the estate, with Hadyn spouting, “I have concerns about the distribution of funds.” Never mind those two uncles haven’t kept in touch with the rest of the fam for some time.

“It is sad at this extremely difficult time in our lives, while we are grieving the loss of our beloved son that estranged family members publicly discuss matters they have not been privy to in the past or now,” Kim said. “We hope for Matilda’s sake they will remain dignified.”

We hope for decency’s sake the entire family won’t use a 2-year-old as a pawn in a quest for cash.

[Photo: Vincent Fantauzzo's painting, 'Heath.' Getty Images]

Miley Cyrus, Billy Ray pals, but he can't dress

Because all things Miley Cyrus is apparently important these days, we have to wonder if the girl really knows what she’s talking about. Just the other day she was drinking ketchup from the bottle on Jay Leno’s show, and now she’s griping about Billy Ray Cyrus’ look.

“There’s a certain time where dad’s got, we call it the ‘Clint Eastwood Pajama look,’ ” she says, according to the World Entertainment News Network. “It’s so horrible, it’s the worst. And a really ugly hat with a bow. Oh, it’s so bad.”

What does “Clint Eastwood Pajama look” even mean? He looks like an old gunslinger with nothing left to lose? That’s pretty dope, if you ask us. Has she even seen how her dad looked before he started this whole recent reinterpretation of Garth Brooks’ Chris Gaines period?

But dad’s not free of guilt from being dumb. Billy Ray called Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM show to say he gives Miley “space to be her own little human being and go through her own things, without me cramping in.” That’s a dad’s job, Billy Ray.

But no, he wants to be seen as more of a friend, and feels that if he “invades her space he won’t be that guy.” Guess what? You’re supposed to be a dad first. It’s too bad he denies a rumor of deleting Lindsay Lohan’s number from Miley’s phone, because that would have been the first act of responsible parenting we’ve seen in a while.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Kate Hudson doesn't know Katherine Heigl

Kate Hudson must be too busy sneaking around with Owen Wilson again to pay attention to her industry. The U.K. edition of Elle asked Kate about Katherine Heigl, and Kate was mannered and smooth enough to respond, “Who is she? ... Oh, that girl in 27 Dresses? I just don’t think about that stuff.”

Here’s something she should think about: Heigl’s Knocked Up and 27 Dresses both opened as No. 1 movies, just like Hudson’s Fool’s Gold. Whether that’s good or bad is beyond our powers of reason.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Marion Cotillard thinks 9/11, lunar trips faked

Just when we were warming up to the idea