Michael Jackson might have been gay; Debbie Rowe paid $4M to give up parental rights

Yes, we really tried to avoid Michael Jackson news, so we'll keep this short and sweet -- unlike the plethora of dirt being dug up about everyone who cam within 100 yards of the guy.

That means we're skipping the story from the U.K.'s Sun that says MJ was gay and had an "insatiable" desire for sex with half-Asian men and said things like "the King of Pop is going to lick your lollipop," according to biographer Ian Halperin. Because he's just trying to sell and book and we have some standards, you know.

Meanwhile, the New York Post says that Debbie Rowe has given up parental rights to her kids to Katherine Jackson. The price? Oh, only $4 million. Hey, that's $2 mil apiece for Prince Michael, 12, and Paris, 11.

"It's one final payday," a friend of the family said. "They felt is was like a ransom-type thing. (Rowe) jumped back into the picture because she wanted money."

Rowe had forfeited rights back after the kids were born, allowing MJ to raise them for $8 million, plus five annual payments of $900,000. She also popped up in 2001, when Jacko was accused of molestation, but gave up rights again for $4 million more and a $900,000 home.

At least those kids won't be exploited just for money anymore. Unless the Post's report that Joe Jackson wants to combine them with Prince Michael II to form The Jackson 3 is true, that is. Wow, those kids are in soooo much trouble.

[Photo: Rubber Michael Jackson masks at a plant in Japan. Or in our nightmares. Getty Images]

Arnold Klein denies giving Michael Jackson drugs, being the father of his children

Michael Jackson's dermatologist, Dr. Arnold Klein, has denied prescribing any sort of drug for the late pop star, or of being the father of his kids. And here we thought we'd get through the whole day without more MJ news.

"All I can tell you is, to the best of my knowledge, I am not the father of these children," Klein said on Good Morning America about those rumors, which first showed up on TMZ. "I can't answer it any other way. I don't want to feed any of this insanity going around."

Speaking of feeding insanity, he also says he had nothing to do with the alleged over-prescribing of drugs by doctors, which may have attributed to Jackson's heart attack.

"I didn't give him this crap they are talking about," Klein said. "I've never prescribed Oxycontin in my life. How am I going to prescribe Diprivan when I don't understand how to use it?"

He also said that he is not one of five doctors supposedly under investigation in California over those allegations.

"I am not even under any examination by the police as one of those individuals," he said. "I have not been examined by anyone. I have not been contacted by the police in Los Angeles."

So that should settle everything, right? Because whatever people say in TV interviews is obviously 100 percent the truth, right? Right?!?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Shauna Sands cheated on Lorenzo Lamas with his 18-year-old son

Lorenzo Lamas is no stranger to daytime drama, but even we couldn't make up the reason why he left former Playboy model wife Shauna Sands (his fourth, by the way). It seems mom was cheating on dad -- with then-18-year-old son A.J. Lamas! How Oedipal!

"Shauna came on to A.J.," a source told Star about the reason for the couple's 2002 divorce. "It was the ultimate betrayal. Lorenzo had no idea; he was in the dark about the whole thing."

Of course, this is all a carefully orchestrated media blitz to get you to watch the new reality show the Lamas family is shooting for E!, but still!

"He thought Shauna was acting like a mom to A.J.," the source added. "He had no clue that she was his son's lover!"

Thanks for taking all the drama out of it, Star. Now we don't have to watch, unless we want to know exactly how many months this whole sordid thing went on. Besides, our TiVo is too full of Denise Richards episodes to record it.

[Photo: Shauna and Lorenzo signing autographs in 2003 -- after the big divorce. How can he sit so close to her? Getty Images]

Alec Baldwin could be next governor of Ohio

Could the man behind Tracy Jordan's Meat Machine be running for governor of Ohio? Alec Baldwin told the latest issue of Playboy he's sure thinking about it loudly.

“I’ll put it this way. The desire is there; that’s one component. The other component is opportunity," the 30 Rock actor said. "A law firm in a liberal Democratic bastion in Ohio state politics sent me a binder with a cover letter that read, ‘Mr. Baldwin, here’s who we represent, the kinds of cases we handle, our credentials in Ohio state politics. We want you to move to Ohio and run for governor. We will launch your career.’”

Would that mean Jack Donaghy could soon be calling Ohio legislators rude, thoughtless little pigs? Not if he could run in New Jersey or Connecticut first.

“I’d love to run against Joe Lieberman. I have no use for him," he said. And even those places are a pipe dream. "But it’s all fantasy. I’m a carry-me-out-in-a-box New Yorker."

What would ex-girlfriend Condoleezza Rice say?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Michael Bay told Megan Fox to shut up

We’re all sorts of busy ignoring more timely celebrity news this weekend, so we’ll point out that Michael Bay totally slammed Megan Fox in an interview in the Wall Street Journal last week. Why? Just because she said his movies stunk?

“I mean, I can’t s--- on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me,” Fox told Entertainment Weekly. “But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s a--. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting.”

Bay’s response: “Well, that’s Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she’s 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do.”

Michael “100 percent disagrees” with Fox, saying that even though he shoots action-oriented pics, he’s worked with some huge names.

“Nick Cage wasn’t a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in Armageddon. Shia LaBeouf wasn’t a big movie star before he did Transformers — and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from Bad Boys.” So, Megan should mind her Ps and Qs, thanks.

“Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers,” he says. “I like to think that I’ve had some luck in building actors’ careers with my films.”

Yeah, but show us one actor who won an award for starring in one of those flicks. McDonald’s doesn’t win any restaurant awards, you know.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Lindsay Lohan got $70,000 for her birthday

We try, dear Juice*heads, to ignore Lindsay Lohan -- really, we do. But she turns 23 on Thursday, which in itself is no big deal, but word is that the MGM Grand in las Vegas shelled out $70,000 to host last Saturday's "pre-celebration" at the hotel's Wet Republic pool party, the New York Post's Page Six says. That's a lot of birthday cake.

The promotional event for Sevyn Nine tanning spray (of which we know Linds is a fan) featured the one-time actress in five different bathing suits and lots of photo-taking before she hit the club. Sources say she wasn't drinking, but there was a more important purpose at hand -- making some much-need money. That would explain why no one else was there.

"None of her really close friends were there," a source told the tabloid. "The only person who was even known was Brittny Gastineau."

And really, that's pushing it. Boy, it seems like just yesterday Pure was canceling her 21st birthday bash because LiLo was in rehab.

[Photo: Wow, that many people showed up at the MGM on Saturday? Really? Getty Images]

Justin Timberlake will work for Guy Ritchie

It looks like Justin Timberlake will be headed back to the big screen, if Guy Ritchie has anything to say about it. Britain's Sun says the pair shook hands over belts of whiskey at a bar in London on Monday. Apparently JT isn't playing favorites between Guy and his ex-wife.

“Guy and Justin have known each other for a while through Guy’s ex-missus Madonna," a source told the paper. “Guy rates Justin as an actor. He thought he was impressive in Alpha Dog. He likes his personality."

But what kind of project does he like him for? Perhaps another silver screen treatment of Guys and Dolls, or even a remake of the war flick Wild Geese, the Sun says.

“Justin would be ideal for Guys And Dolls because he can act, dance and sing," the source adds. “He would be a great box office draw into the bargain, as well as a safe bet to sell the soundtrack.”

And plus, today's youth are so out of it, you don't even have to explain to them who Marlon Brando, Jean Simmons and Vivian Blaine are (we'll give them credit for Frank Sinatra).

[Photo: JT was in Berlin on Wednesday for the Bread and Butter fashion trade fair. Getty Images]

Holly Madison, Criss Angel are dating again

No sooner did Holly Madison get back from Kendra Wilkinson's wedding to Hank Baskett than the rumors started flying that she was getting back together with old boyfriend Criss Angel. Her topless spectacle Peepshow must have that kind of effect on Criss.

The 30-year-old former Playmate apparently has gotten back together with the 41-year-old trickster after she moved from L.A. to Las Vegas to star in the Planet Hollywood resort & Casino show, Star says.

“Holly still had feelings for Criss, so around mid-June she gave him a call,” a source says. “She was thrilled when he asked to meet for drinks. They’ve seen each other a few times since!”

The couple broke up in March, but that must have been too much good taste for the one-time girl next door. We won't hold our breath for a wedding.

[Photo: The couple in February, when they reveled in their innocence. Getty Images]

Jon and Kate Gosselin quit talking to media

Speaking of things you're tired of hearing about, Jon and Kate Gosselin say they're done boring us with their personal drama. We'll believe it when Jon & Kate Plus 8 is officially cancelled.

"During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation," the Gosselins said in a statement on TLC's Web site.

"Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many."

That's no problem; we're sure the media is more than willing to just leave these two alone. Well, this part of the media is, for sure.

Chris Brown, Rihanna want to be friends again

Chris Brown and Rihanna may not be able to get within 50 yards of each other, but both want to be able to get a whole lot closer, the New York Daily News reports.

"They think it's unnecessary and ridiculous," a mutual friend said of the court order. "After (the hearing), Ri and Chris talked on the phone for almost an hour and really worked at becoming friends. They're solid now."

Nobody ever said abusive relationships were healthy, so that may be why a judge imposed the involuntary order, which also says that the two can only get as close as 10 yards at music industry functions. Still, they aren't exactly planning to defy the justice system.

"That's 100 percent done," the source says. "They aren't looking to hook back up again. They're both moving on and going their separate ways."

It's a lot easier to do that when you're half a football field away from each other, anyway.

[Photo: Rihanna at last Tuesday's hearing in L.A. Getty Images]