Brooke Hogan talks about voting, hypocrisy

We're moving into a third straight day of chastising Brooke Hogan's MySpace exploits, because she had the gall to call out gossip blogs for being mean and nasty (it's like giving a junkie a fresh needle, BB). While Hulk and Linda are in divorce court, we're going to rip on her latest diatribe, which defends her comments that she doesn't vote by saying she's not smart enough to do it.

"Only 54 percent of eligible american voters cast their ballots!!!!!! Half of them are only voting cause its 'cool' to vote for so and so...they aren't even up to date on information," she writes. "I'M personally not up to date on the facts, so I don't wanna make a stupid choice for our country. I WANT to vote but only when I know exactly whats going on. More ppl should think like that."

And while that sounds almost, sorta normal in a bizarro way, her next comments about the press are just plain stupid, and we're not just being prideful.

"they really are stupid and report false news for the mean green. I feel bad for YOU guys. They are teaching our young generation how to be catty , obtain false ways of thinking and wrong ways of treating people...not to mention giving them horrible self image to look up to and horrible life choices that they are being taught to make led by an example from IDIOTS. ... To teach these kids to live vicariously through other people is ridiculous," she says, which would be great if she didn't hang her shingle on whoring out her dysfunctional life on VH1 for years now.

And the best part is her 12-step program for being a better you, which we'll republish here, sans mindless gabbing afterward:

Love.

Trust

Never stick with a cheater.

Work Work Work.

Never gossip, never feel negatively toward ANYONE.

Speak. Whatever you think, whatever you feel.

Be honest.

Live. Live like its your last day on earth- as corny as it sounds. LIVE.

Pray.

Turn OFF the TV!!!! (This one is particularly amazing, since she's got a new show.)

Eat....everything.

......then do a bad ass workout.

Don't you feel so much smarter now?

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Brooke Hogan takes stupid MySpace pictures

Our best friend Brooke Hogan has decided to follow up her rant against gossip hounds by posting some ridiculous photos of herself on her MySpace page. In a move that would do Japanese cosplayers proud, the wife-beater-wearing Brooke smears on makeup that makes her look like one of the Hulkster's pals took a folding chair to her face.

In a stroke of genius, in one pic she holds up a sign saying she'd rather be with her brother Nick behind bars. What was that she was saying about places like The Juice* making stuff up about her? With goofiness like this, all we need to do is let the pics speak for themselves.

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Ah, but the joke's really on Brooke Hogan

Brooke Hogan, that awesome wunderkind who excels at leeching off her dad's celebrity, posted a message on her MySpace page deriding dumb gossip blogs like The Juice*. By actually stringing several words together in a coherent thought, she makes us want to down Percocet by the handful when she posts:

LOL poor press and clingy gossip lovers....

It's so funny that the smallest thing I do can jack up everyones day...LOL sorry I ruined your little gossip world today people.........or did I give you something else interesting to cling to for your boring worlds? :) Stay tuned! I might go shave my eyebrows tomorrow! Lets see what other fun things I can think of...um.... don't you have a life to live? I know I do! Peace!

Love Always, Brooke

Truly, we're crying in our Froot Loops over this. In fact, The Juice* weeps openly whenever we make snide comments about the faults of the overpaid and self-absorbed, because under our iron-hard shell of hate lies a weak and shallow pool of self-loathing (at least, that's what the fan mail tells us). But the funny part? If outlets like The Juice* didn't write about Brooke, absolutely no one would know who she was. Oh, what a conundrum.

[Photo: AP]

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Hulk: Nick will be 'a great man'

Hulk Hogan offered a few details about his son Nick Bollea’s jailtime experience to People on Thursday, because hey, Monday’s season finale of American Gladiators isn’t going to promote itself, people.

He says the minimum-security facility where Nick moved after turning 18 is “much better,” adding: “Nick describes it as like a two-story warehouse with tables, seven or eight phones, TVs, and it’s people who are there for like child support and parking tickets. And instead of just once in a while being allowed go outside, they leave the door open to the exercise yard. He said, 'Dad, I can even go outside at night and look at the stars.’”

Is that little anecdote not heart-wrenching enough for you? Hulk also talks about Nick’s recent birthday party, attended by a cadre of friends and family: “He said, 'I’ll probably have a hard time making everybody understand this, but this was the best birthday I’ve ever had,’” Hogan says.

Finally, Hulk believes Nick’s incarceration “happened for a reason,” and that he expects his son to drift out of jail a better human being. “I’m so excited, because Nick is going to be a great man now,” he said. “I’m proud of him.”

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Photo: Associated Press

Brooke Hogan wants out of the middle

Brooke Hogan told People magazine that she regrets signing what she now calls false allegations that her father Hulk Hogan abused her mother. "I did it under significant pressure from my mother," she told People. Hogan, 20, moths ago signed a legal affidavit accusing her father, whose real name is Terry Bollea, of verbally and physically abusing wife Linda during their marriage. She later thought it was a bad idea and asked that it not be filed in court.

But a tabloid unearthed the document and her spokesman said Brooke is "distressed at the latest efforts by mother Linda to fracture the family. This time they let leak out an old document that Brooke signed filled with exaggerations and fabrications about father Terry's behavior during the marriage. The months-old document was signed by Brooke at a time when she was upset with her father."

Brooke is now living with Hulk, 54, and not on speaking terms with her mother, People says.

"I love my mother, and hope to one day reconcile with her," Brooke says. "But using kids as pawns in a divorce is awful. Every day my mother resorts to this kind of behavior makes it that much harder for us to ever have a relationship again."

Sharon Kennedy Wynne

Photos: Bill Serne, Times files

Brooke Hogan knows... women?

Feminism was already not a high priority for her, but on this week’s episode of Brooke Knows Best, the reality show of Hulk Hogan’s daughter, she really shone in her speech about how she’s “not that much into voting” and how crazy it was a woman was running for president because, “Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?” Guess it’s time time to cancel the Brooke Hogan for President campaign.

Sharon Kennedy Wynne

Brooke Hogan dishes about family, TV show

Brooke Hogan recently sat down with the Associated Press to pimp her new show, Brooke Knows Best (the laughably titled show starts Sunday at 10 p.m. on VH1), and she spilled all sorts of beans about being on TV and her infamous Tampa Bay fam. To wit:

AP: What made you want to do another reality show?

Hogan: The first four times we did the reality show, I didn't have my stuff together with my music career. So this time, I'm like, all right, I have to start recording an album and using this TV show to my benefit, other than just letting these cameras come into my life to make ratings (laughs). And plus, I have to admit I really do miss the guys when they're gone, because they're like built-in family now, all the cameramen and stuff. So it's like, "Ah man, I really hate being followed all the time, but okay, come back. You guys are cute." (Laughs.)

AP: Do you think the Hogan reality show helped tear your family apart?

Hogan: I don't think a camera and a cameraman can destroy a family. I mean, they're not part of the family. But I think that it was the pressure of the cameras being there and the pressure of being on guard and not really being able to let your feelings fly, like if you are mad at somebody. Let's just say my parents were fighting; they couldn't just let it all out on national television. So I think it kind of suppressed it to the point where it almost let it explode, but I think that it would have come sooner or later.

AP: Do you think the strain of your brother's problems played a role in your parents' breakup?

Hogan: It takes two to tango, and it was my mom and dad, they had problems. And it's not the camera crew that tears it apart, it's not Nick's accident that tears it apart, it's just that those things add more stress so I think that to every cloud there's a silver lining, and I think that they almost saved my parents from their marriage going any farther down a destructive road.

AP: How have you dealt with your brother not being around?

Hogan: It's really, really hard because I feel like our whole lives I was able to protect him ... and now I had to watch him walk away in handcuffs and I couldn't do anything about it. It's hard because he's like my best friend. I mean, I have friends, but my brother is really the one person who I can confide in and talk to about anything. So it's tough because everything that we talk about now is recorded. And we saw what happened with that.

AP: How did you and your mother get so far apart?

Hogan: My mother and I naturally have a tremendous bond, there's like a bond that you just can't break with us. ... Right now I'm just really disappointed with her and I feel like I wish I could talk to her, but you just can't. It's one of those kind of things where, I am a very straight-laced person and maybe that makes it even harder for me to see the path that she's going down as being right, but I look at her now and I'm like, "You were my hero at one point. Why are you making these weird choices?" I don't understand it. I definitely don't condone what's going on. I definitely don't think it's cool who she's dating. I think it's ridiculous but at the end of the day she's my mother and I will still respect her and love her but right now ... I just have to love her from a distance for now.

AP: Were you at one point as disappointed in your dad?

Hogan: My dad and I had a little bit of a tiff earlier this year and that kind of stuff I really don't want to talk about now, but I was disappointed for a minute. But what I respect about my dad is he comes forth and he tells the truth, and he's a very honorable person, I respect him a lot. He, I know deep down, has a good heart. Honesty with me goes such a long way that once the truth comes out and that person can be man enough to tell you the truth, it gives me an even higher respect for them than before.

AP: Are you dating anyone?

Hogan: I was actually dating somebody that I've actually known since I was 15, and that was a great experience and I'm still really, really close to him and I still really love him but we just recently kind of broke it off, so it didn't seem right anymore. So as of right now I'm single.

AP: Will we see your romantic side in the new show?

Hogan: You'll see a little bit of the romantic side. I went on a couple of dates. Some of them were disasters and some of them were really, really great. You'll just have to find out! I'm not going to tell you everything about it.

Personally, we've never known a 19-year-old woman who didn't hate her mom and in some way argue with dad. They just don't go on TV and prattle on about it.

[Photo: Frank Franklin II for AP]

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Hulk Hogan worried Charley Hill was a rapist

Life is tough all over for Hulk Hogan, who lamented on Bubba the Love Sponge's Sirius satellite radio show that his estranged wife's boyfriend is cramping his style. Hogan said Linda's 19-year-old boy toy, Charley Hill, is wreaking havoc on his family simply by being present, making daughter Brooke uncomfortable and even taking the Hulkster's Harley out for a spin, despite it being uninsured and, well, Hulk Hogan's chopper.

He related a story on air about the cops pulling him over recently because Linda said he was violating an injunction she had against him, despite there being no such court order, and that the whole thing was caused by Brooke finding Charley and a friend in her brother's room, using all his stuff, when no one else was home.

"There were these two 19-year-old boys hiding in Nick's bathroom and when Brooke screamed at 'em one guy goes 'Oh I'm dating your mother.' And Brooke goes, 'You're Charley Hill; I went to school with you -- you're younger than me!" Hulk said. "... She called me up panicking, she said she was scared to death. She didn't know if she was going to get beat up or anything like that, you know, or who knows what else, so she called me; I said, well tell 'em you're calling the police on em."

The Hulkster said he turned around on Highway 60 to head back home, and that's when the cops stopped him. Got all that? Neither do we. But Hulk did make it clear he didn't like Hill being in his house.

"I'm not looking for Linda, I'm looking for my daughter," Hogan said. "She could get beat up, raped or anything. I don't know what's going on."

Listen to part of the show here, and savor the delicious trashiness.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Hulk Hogan watches Brooke's 'Maxim' shoot

Just as we were reeling from yesterday's news that Brooke Hogan thought April pics of daddy Hulk rubbing suntan lotion on her nether regions were no big deal, Fox News' Pop Tarts reports the Hulkster showed up to watch her photo shoot for Maxim that same month.

The July ish of the mag features Brooke in a bikini top and unzipped jeans, which was supervised by Hulk, who showed up on set during the shoot back in April. A source tells Fox News that the former wrestler's appearance was a surprise, and that he was there to make sure his 20-year-old daughter didn't show too much. He would be the judge, wouldn't he? Maybe Billy Ray Cyrus should take note -- those two could form a club!

[Photo: Maxim]

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Brooke Hogan says Hulk lotion pics no big deal

Because you just can't get enough Brooke Hogan, we have to tell you how the 20-year-old spilled to Us that she doesn't think those gross pics of her dad Hulk putting suntan lotion on her derierre are any big deal. Remember those pics? Of papa smearing lotion on her bum in April? Yeah, we tried to forget, too.

"I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car," Brooke told the mag. "He used to change my diaper!"

The Juice* can't show you those photos, thanks to overblown licensing fees from greedy paparazzi services, but feel free to follow the source link to see one. Frankly, we're doing you a favor by not exposing you to such psychological damage again. And Brooke's metaphor of calling herself an old car certainly backfires in this case -- we felt like calling child protective services when we saw those pics.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Brooke Hogan to Linda: Hulk's no stalker

In May, TMZ says, Linda Bollea called 911 to report that her husband, Hulk Hogan, had driven up to her house and parked outside, which violated a restraining order. Two problems: (1) there never was a restraining order, and (2) Linda made the call while following Hulk up the road in her own car. An exasperated 911 operator gently told Linda to stop following him and go back home, and Clearwater police later noted that they couldn’t figure out where she got the restraining order idea. After TMZ posted copies of the 911 tape and police report on Monday afternoon, Brooke Hogan struck back at her mom about Hulk’s alleged stalking: “I know for a fact that the accusations made against my father are completely false,” she told the New York Daily News. “I just wish she would think of the family first.”

Photo: AP

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Frank Graziano's nasty messages for Hogans

Hulk Hogan has been the target of at least one acidic and threatening phone call from Frank Graziano, brother of John, saying that Hulk's son Nick, daughter Brooke and estranged wife Linda basically better watch their backs. AOL has audio from the call, which is easily the most NSFW thing The Juice* has heard in awhile (which means you can check it out by clicking here.)

The voice mail comes on the heels of Frank invoking 10 different versions of God's wrath on the Bollea family on Tampa-based syndicated radio show MJ in the Morning, in which he ranted, "They're talking to each other, crying, planning a reality show. You think you're gonna make a reality show out of my brother's suffering? Every day John suffers, you suffer, your family suffers. Every single day he's down, you're gonna be down. Forever. For eternity. 'Cause you can't kill me, and you can't kill the rest of my family." (Listen to that whole clip by clicking here.)

It's obvious Frank is furious, which leads The Juice* to think that this Hatfield and McCoy attitude is what would make up the plot for a pretty good reality show. And that makes us pretty sad.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Linda Hogan wants hubby Hulk held in contempt

It's just getting uglier and uglier for the Hogan family. Linda Hogan is asking a judge to find Hulk in contempt of court and jail him until he coughs up his share of a $4.2 million Las Vegas condo, the AP reports.

A court order requires them to share the cost of the place at The Palms hotel and spa. She's asking that her husband be held at the Pinellas County jail, where their son Nick is currently serving his well-documented eight-month sentence.

You know what they say -- the family that does time together ...

Statements from lawyers are expected later today, the AP says.

[Photo: AP]

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Hulk Hogan defends Nick on 'Larry King Live'

We have to start the day off with something, so here's Hulk Hogan on Larry King Live last night. Why can't we shake the feeling everything would be better if the whole HOgan family just kept their yars shut for the next six months?

Brooke Hogan confirms mom is dating teenager

It's no big secret that 48-year-old Linda Hogan is dating some younger guy, since she's been seen out clubbing with a bleached-blond Hulkster wannabe. But what's crazy is that daughter Brooke confirms the stud, Charlie Hill, is a former classmate of hers and brother Nick's -- and he's only 19!

"I'm totally freaked out," Brooke told E!'s Michael Yo off the air during a satellite radio interview. "I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support."

And what's this about going to school with Charlie?

"He was a grade under me. ... Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us (in school)," she said. That doesn't sound the least bit sensational now, does it?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Hulk Hogan hosting celebrity wrestling show

While Hulk Hogan tries his best to get son Nick a new reality show about being a jailbird, he’s killing time with a new series for CMT: Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling. Close your eyes and shake your head all you want, it’s happening.

Danny Bonaduce, Dennis Rodman and Dustin Diamond are on the roster to pummel one another in an eight-episode run this fall, the Hollywood Reporter says. We’ve seen Screech box before, so we know he can do that, but he’ll be going up against folks like Frank Stallone, boxer ButterBean and Todd Bridges, who ain’t no joke when it comes to the savage violence. There’s women, too, got to have those: The Real World’s Trishelle Cannatella, Bewitched’s Erin Murphy, Playboy playmate Nikki Ziering and yes, Tiffany.

The gang will compete for the title of Celebrity All-Star Wrestling Champion by taking on challenges like using wrestling moves, talking trash and working an audience. If they could do all that, they wouldn’t need to be on a Z-list reality show now, would they?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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