A roundup of dumb stuff to finish the day

• Barron Hilton, 18-year-old brother of a certain unnamed heirhead, was arrested by the L.A. County Sheriff Tuesday morning for allegedly driving under the influence, the AP reports. He must have gotten jealous of all the attention his sister got for serving time last year.

• Pamela Anderson has barred the media from her striptease shows at the Crazy Horse cabaret in Paris, Agencie France Presse reports. The last thing she wants is for people to see photos of her naked, we’re sure.

• Nicolas Cage has sued Kathleen Turner in a British court, the New York Daily News says, demanding a retraction for saying in her book Send Yourself Roses that he once got drunk and stole a Chihuahua. We all know the only thing Nic ever stole was a baby in Raising Arizona.

• Consumer Reports posted a blog item Tuesday pointing out that Miley Cyrus and dad Billy Ray are seen riding in a Range Rover without seat belts in the 3-D concert film Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert, sparking a “controversy” about setting a good example. The horror! Next thing you know, we’ll find out Miley actually (gasp!) smokes cigarettes like half of Hollywood does.

Leona Helmsley's rich dog hides out in Florida

As you try to scrape together enough money to buy gifts for your kids and keep the lights on, remember the inspirational tale of Trouble, Leona Helmsley's millionaire dog. You remember Trouble -- she got $12-million in a trust after the hotel queen kicked earlier this year.

Well, Trouble has been getting so many death threats, she's had to high-tail it to the Sarasota area, the New York Post reports. The Maltese had been staying in a 28-room Connecticut estate after her owner's death, but about two months ago she was brought to the Sunshine State on a private jet (with a security detail) after getting two dozen threats of being dog-napped or killed for her money.

"We had problems keeping her identity confidential, and we had to change her name even to take her on the aircraft," said John Codey, the Helmsley exec in charge of Trouble's trust fund. "We called her 'Bauble' instead of Trouble." Now we know their secret.

Not disgusted enough? Even though the pooch's cash will go into a charitable trust when it finally turns up its toes, its annual care -- including security, medical care, grooming and food prepared by freakin' chefs -- totals about $300,000 a year. Remember that when Johnny asks for a new Xbox 360.

[Photo: AP]

Ellen may have been dumping dogs before

It sounds like Ellen DeGeneres is a master of palming off unwanted pooches. The New York Post’s Page Six quotes an L.A. producer who says she gave Ellen a mutt named Stormy two years ago, but less than two months later DeGeneres had given the dog to a staff member.

“She may have had it for much less time than that. I only say two months because that’s when I called to check on the dog and found out she no longer had it,” Kerri Randles said. “I was totally shocked. I thought she was out of her mind.”

And this may be a recurring problem: Howard Stern told his Sirius radio show audience that rumor has it Ellen has ditched unwanted dogs nine times previously. That’s a lot of abandonment.

Randles says she had taken the pooch to Ellen at NBC studios, where DeGeneres “drilled” her about the dog for four hours and decided to take it home for a trial run, then said a few days later she’d keep it. “She acted like she was keeping it for life,” Randles said.

We’re sure she acted that way with Anne Heche, too. What? Too soon?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Ellenpuppygate: Day 3

The sad saga of Iggy, the Brussels Griffon mix puppy adopted by Ellen DeGeneres, passed along to her hairstylist's children, and then confiscated by the adoption agency, is coming to a detente. The AP reports that on Thursday's show, Ellen said she's done talking about the issue publicly until the dog is returned. The decision was prompted by reports that the owner of the adoption agency, Mutts & Moms, had received death threats and been called a Nazi. "It's gotten out of hand," Ellen said. "I want nothing, nothing more than that dog returned to that family. But you don't resort to violence. So anybody out there, please stop that." She said other adoption agencies have offered up another dog, even a dog that looks like Iggy, but said that's just not good enough. "Ruby, the little girl, doesn't want another dog, she wants Iggy. It's not a toy that's been broken that you can replace. It's a dog."

Access Hollywood scored a pic of the cute little puppy. Click here to see it.

What do you guys think? Is Ellen making the right decision? Should she hush up and let bygones be bygones, or should she continue to stand up and fight for Iggy? Ifyou were in her Chuck Taylors, what would you do?

Ellen's puppysnatchers bite back

Ellen DeGeneres's tearful mea culpa on Tuesday's show may have showed audiences she really cares about a dog she gave to a friend's kids. But the agency that took the dog away, which says Ellen broke her adoption contract, isn't slinking away with its tail between its legs. The New York Post reports Mutts & Moms, from whom Ellen and Portia de Rossi adopted lil' Iggy, says DeGeneres threatened the agency behind the scenes. Excerpts from a voice mail to Mutts & Moms from Ellen's publicist: "We are filing a legal case against you. ... This is not going to be good for your store or your organization." Keith Fink, the agency's lawyer, said Ellen "is using her power and her access to the media to destroy this agency in the media. ... She knows what she signed." Fink said the agency's owners have received death threats since Ellen's televised plea, but have no plans to return the dog to her or the other family. "My life is being threatened, this is horrible. I rescue dogs. I can't believe this," Mutts & Moms owner Marina Batkis sobbed to Access Hollywood on Tuesday. "People are being so cruel to us. People are sending things that say 'Nazi' and words that I can't repeat. ... At this point we think (the threateners) are just gonna come and try to hurt our animals."

Where do you stand, sports fans? Should the agency give the dog back to the family, or should Ellen be held accountable for breaking her adoption contract?

Before you answer that, check out the TMZ.com version of events:

(Photo: Associated Press)

Ellen's puppy problem

Adoption isn't easy -- as Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi found out when they tried to rescue a dog recently. According to TMZ, Ellen and Portia brought home Iggy, a Brussels Griffon mix, only to realize that he didn't get along with Ellen's cats. So they tried to give the pup to her hairdresser, who has two kids. Everyone's happy, right? Not quite. On Sunday, a rep from the adoption agency came by the hairdresser's house, accusing Ellen of violating her adoption contract, and had cops come to take the dog away. "I kept saying, 'If you want to be mad at me, be mad at me, but don't take it out on the family. Don't take it out on the dog,'" Ellen said. Doggone right.

Leona Helmsley’s dog is a rich ... pooch

Real estate billionaire Leona Helmsley left $12-million in her will for her dog Trouble but cut out two of her four grandchildren entirely, Reuters reports.

The Queen of Mean’s 14-page will was made public Tuesday, but it took the media all of a day to point out that the white Maltese (who will be cared for by Leona’s brother Alvin Rosenthal, who will get $10-million) got much more than grandchildren David and Walter Panzirer, who have been bequeathed $5-million each — as long as they visit their father Jay’s grave once a year. 

“I have not made any provisions in this will for my grandson Craig Panzirer or my granddaughter Meegan Panzirer for reasons which are known to them,” Helmsley wrote. That’s got to hurt; even the chaffeur got $100,000.

[Photo: AP]

Humane Society rips on Brit

The Humane Society of the United States hasn’t taken too kindly to Britney Spears’ weekend purchase of a $3,000 Yorkshire Terrier puppy.

The organization has bombarded the offices of The Juice* and most other media outlets with a lengthy press release castigating the poplet for spending less than a half hour in a Bel Air pet shop to buy the pup.

The HSUS “is extremely concerned not only that the pop star purchased a dog from a pet store, but also that she apparently took very little time to make such a major decision.”

Furthermore, they decry the fact that most pet shops sell dogs from puppy mills, and wonder in print why Britney didn’t just go to the pound to get a pal. Last time she did that, she ended up with two kids and a flagging career.

'You're pathetic'

Maybe we should pity Paris Hilton just a little, now that we know a little more about her mom.

Because yes, "You're pathetic." You'd expect that's what the judge would have told Paris when sentencing her yesterday to 45 days in jail for violating her probation for alcohol-related reckless driving.

But no, "You're pathetic" is what Paris's mom, the even-more clueless Kathy Hilton, barked at the prosecutor after the sentence came down.

Before passing sentence, judge Michael Sauer said of Paris "I think she has wanted to disregard everything that was said and continued to drive no matter what" after her license was suspended.

But pathetic? Plenty there to go around. Let's start with 26-year-old Paris, who arrived to the 1:30 p.m. hearing 20 minutes late (nice job winning over the judge right from the start). We know you can't drive, Paris, and maybe there were no cabs handy. Maybe you should have taken the city bus?

Then there's her lawyer, Howard Weitzman, who said the sentence "is inappropriate and borders on ludicrous. It is clear that she has been selectively targeted for prosecution for who she is." That's right, Howard, because if the rest of us repeatedly get drunk and drive on a suspended license, it's slap on the wrist time.

The Associated Press reports:

When a prosecutor asked if she had read the licence suspension notice mailed to her from the Department of Motor Vehicles, she replied: "I have people do that for me." Hilton said she didn't read her plea agreement either: "I just sign what people tell me to sign."

For all that, the true pathetic one is mom Kathy, who just doesn't get it, because she's never had to get it. To her, fame--even fame gained by nothing more than having a crapload of money--takes precedence over everything.

The AP reports: 

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton‘s mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy then blurted out: "May I have your autograph?"

When a reporter asked what she thought of the judge's decision, a visibly angry Kathy responded: "What do you think? This is pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayer money with all this nonsense. This is a joke."

With values instilled by a mama like that, we almost feel bad for Paris. Almost. [Photo: AP]