Keshia Knight Pulliam is playing a hooker

Keshia Knight Pulliam, whom you may recall as at-first-adorable-and-then-way-too-old-to-play-the-same-shtick Rudy Huxtable on The Cosby Show, has got a new gig.

The Hollywood Reporter says the actress, who just turned 29,  has signed on to play a prostitute in Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail. In the Hollywood adaptation of Perry’s play, Madea comes to the aid of Pulliam’s hooker Candy, who is being preyed upon by another inmate named Big Sal.

Derek Luke has also signed on to the movie, playing Joshua, a lawyer who has a past with Candy. Didn’t we all, every Thursday night?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Vanilla Ice arrested for allegedly assaulting wife

Vanilla Ice may have been a one-hit wonder in the early '90s, but he must have saved the rest for his wife. Robbie Van Winkle was arrested and booked into the Palm Beach County Jail Thursday night after his wife Laura called the cops to say the former rapper was beating and kicking her, the Palm Beach Post reports.

The 40-year-old was stopped on his motorcycle around 7:15 p.m. two blocks from the couple's Wellington home. Laura told deputies that she didn't want any media attention but wanted a divorce. Despite what she said during the call, she reneged and claimed her husband had pushed her, resulting in a charge of simple battery.

"He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter," she said, according to the arrest report. "I'm sorry I can't say any more until I talk to an attorney."

Vanilla, meanwhile, said that while they had been arguing since the day before, his wife was bipolar and had thrown a picture frame at him while he was with their 8- and 10-year-old children. Maybe the frame had the gold record for To The Extreme in it.

Today he was ordered by Judge Nancy Perez to stay away from his wife, and was told to only contact her by phone, which implies something was going on. Maybe he was having some Suge Knight flashbacks.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Jessica Simpson finding work posing naked

We're happy Jessica Simpson got over her kidney infection and all, so we're starting to wonder when she's going to actually, you know, work again. It seems she's starting by ripping off old covers of men's magazines.

The used-to-be singer is on the cover of next month's Esquire, emulating a March 1965 cover of the same magazine in which actress Virna Lisi is shaving her face. It's part of a multi-page spread showing her sopping wet in a swimsuit and a flesh-colored body stocking, which would have been awesome, were this 2003.

This is what Jess considers generating buzz? She might as well hang a "will work for food" sign around her neck. And while then-Esquire designer George Lois meant it as a boost for women's lib, we're pretty sure it's just the latest in Esquire's inability to develop original ideas.

New Kids on the Block are back to annoy us

What would happen if a boy band from two decades ago got back together and all their shrill teenaged fans had turned into shrill soccer moms? Ask the New Kids on the Block, who turned up on the Today show Friday to announce they were back for the first time in 19 years. They've got a new platter on the way, which should hit stores in summer.

"Weve been recording since August," Donnie Wahlberg said. "We have a great album coming out for the new material." Wahlberg added the group hopes to start a tour in the fall, and will perform together live for the first time since Hypercolor shirts were big on the Today show on May 16.

But the real news is all the now-middle-aged fans who turned up to prove they could still emit nasally whines for minutes on end without breathing. Really, is the return of Joey McIntyre really that big of a deal?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Arnold Schwarzenegger fired Clint Eastwood

Not that you’ve been keeping up with California politics lately, but Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger proved last week you can choose your friends and family by bouncing pal Clint Eastwood and brother-in-law Bobby Shriver off the state parks commission.

The L.A. Times reports both men, who were appointed by Gov. Gray Davis in 2001 and reappointed by the Governator in 2004, learned about their fate through governor aides, despite their respective relationships to Schwarzenegger.

“I think it was just somebody got a bee under their bonnet at the right moment, so there we are,” Eastwood said.

While the official reason is that Schwarzenegger wanted others to take a crack at the commission, but wor around the campfire is it was because both Eastwood and Shriver opposed an Arnie-backed plan to run a toll road right through Orange County’s San Onofre State Beach, a plan that was defeated by the California Coastal Commission in February.

“I guess he felt we were going to be guys who were going to be obstructionists for anything through state parks,” Eastwood says. Yes, you’d think parks commissioners would be against plans to pave marine estuaries (even though Dirty Harry himself had once argued for laws to be bent so he could build a golf course some years back — that, too, was defeated).

But there’s no hard feelings, especially after Schwarzenegger called and apologized for how the sitch was handled, Clint claims.

“I’m a grown person; I’m not a kid,” Eastwood says. “The parks is a voluntary job, and it’s just a job you do, when they need you. It was fun. . . . They make changes, and that’s their prerogative. It’s not like I need a day job.”

[Photo: Clint and Arnie in 2006. AP]

Josiah Leming skips 'Idol,' signs a record deal

Remember Josiah Leming, that kid on American Idol who was living out of his car and cried his eyes out at the drop of a hat (especially when it was Simon Cowell's hat)? He may not have made the top 24, but according to the Knoxville News Sentinel, he definitely rated a recording contract with Warner Bros.

According to the paper's Web site, Leming is a full-blown artist now, getting an agent and an entertainment lawyer and even buying his dad a new truck. No word on whether any Lemings are living in it.

Proof that he may actually be the real deal is that Josiah had a show at L.A.'s Hotel Cafe on March 7 (check the video above). Who says you need to go through weeks of denigrating reality TV to make it big?

Michael Jackson can keep Neverland ranch

If you were hoping to scoop up a deal on Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch next week, too bad: the one-time king of pop has refinanced his way out of trouble.

Jackson attorney L. Londell McMillan told the AP on Thursday that the pop star has worked out a "confidential" agreement with Fortress Investment Group, LLC. The deal allows him to retain ownership of the famed property in Los Olivos, Calif.

"Neverland and MJ are fine," McMillan said. An auction date had been set for March 19 because of $24.5 million the singer owed on the 2,500-acre spread northwest of Santa Barbara.

Jackson hasn't lived there since his acquittal on molestation charges in 2005, which is obvious if you've seen recent photos of the place.

[Photo: AP]

Lisa Kudrow will work on new celebrity show

With syndicated reruns of Friends on every cable channel seemingly 24 hours a day, we've been wondering what happened to Lisa Kudrow, who made P.S. I Love You last year but has mostly been in hiding since HBO canned The Comeback.

According to the New York Post, Kudrow is adapting the British hit Who Do You Think You Are, in which celebrities learn about their family trees. Hilarity ensues.

Kudrow is co-producing the series for NBC with Dan Bucatinsky under the pair's Is or Isn't Entertainment company, the paper says. And for all you Phoebe fans, you'll be glad to hear Lisa has no less than five movie projects in the works, according to Imdb.com.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Dawn Wells, a.k.a. Mary Ann, is a jailbird

In a bid to finally settle for us the decades-old question of Ginger or Mary Ann, TMZ reports former Gilligan's Island actress Dawn Wells (that's Mary Ann) was arrested after driving home from her birthday party with a bunch of Mary Jane.

The 69-year-old was pulled over Oct. 18 by a Teton County (Idaho) sheriff for swerving and changing speeds on the highway, the AP says. Authorities found four roaches and two small cases to store the nickel. Wells blamed all that on hitchhikers.

"I exited my patrol vehicle and immediately was able to smell a strong odor of burning marijuana," Deputy Joseph Gutierrez wrote in his report. "As I approached the vehicle I noticed all four window (sic) of the vehicle were lowered and the female driver was not wearing a jacket." A friend testified that he had used the car that day and left his stash, unbeknownst to Wells.

Wells is currently serving six months of probation after pleading guilty to reckless driving, part of a plea deal that saw three other charges dropped. She was sentenced Feb. 29 to five days in jail and fined $410.50. No wonder the Professor favored her.

[Photo: AP]

Aaron's (pot) party

Chalk another legal mishap up to one of Tampa Bay's Carter brothers. Aaron Carter -- Apollo Beach native, floppy-haired brother of Backstreet Boy Nick, prepubescent wooer of Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan and (reportedly) Brooke Hogan -- was busted for drug possession Thursday in Texas after cops nabbed him for speeding and allegedly finding marijuana in his car. Cater (shown above performing at Lithia Elementary in 2001 ... was he ever so young?) was to be arraigned Friday morning, according to E! Online. Kimble County sheriff Mike Chapman said officers found less than 2 ounces of pot in his car. Poor, poor Aaron -- when will you learn that not even drugs will make songs like "Stride (Jump on the Fizzy)" and "That's How I Beat Shaq" palatable? 

(Times file photo: Stephanie Boyar)

Gary Coleman got married in, um, secret

From the Where Are They Now? Dept., Inside Edition says 40-year-old Gary Coleman went the route of William Wallace and got married in secret on Aug. 28, 2007, to Shannon Price, whom he met on the set of one of his movies. Wait, Gary Coleman still makes movies?

They got hitched on a Nevada mountaintop in a very small ceremony on her 22nd birthday. “Nobody was around but the minister, preacher, the videographers, the photographer, the helicopter pilot and us,” Coleman said. “That was all that was there. There was nobody else.”

Price is actually the one who proposed to Coleman, and admitted she didn’t even know who the Diff’rent Strokes star was because she didn’t watch TV as a kid.

Even with almost a foot difference between the pair (she’s 5-foot-7, he’s 4-foot-8), this was Gary’s first “romantic relationship.” Said Coleman: “I never got the opportunity to be romantic or feel romantic with anyone. ... I wasn’t saving myself, she just happened to be the one.”

Why keep it a secret? “I just want my own identity as well because I don’t want to be known as Gary Coleman’s wife,” Price said. That sums it up nicely, we think.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Linda Bollea parties at the Hard Rock; Lawyer admits she went to Betty Ford for evaluation

She may be going through a nasty divorce, but that’s not stopping Linda Bollea (Hulk Hogan’s estranged wife) from having a good time now and then.

Our spies tell us Linda and family partied the night away on Saturday at Floyd’s inside the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Tampa. Daughter Brooke (who looked great at the Grammys on Sunday -- see right) and son Nick were on hand, but Floyd’s is a 21-and-up crowd, so they left early. But 48-year-old Mama Hogan held it down in the VIP area, as evidenced by these paparazzi shots.

Meanwhile, the St. Pete Times reported over the weekend that the National Enquirer’s John Blosser contacted Linda’s lawyer, A.J. Barranco Jr., with a letter seeking comment for an article the rag was writing about “her erratic behavior, her drinking habits and her verbally abusive language” toward Hulk and the kids.

Barranco replied in another letter that Linda was a “stay-at-home mom during their entire marriage,” and the children still live with her. He also says that Hulk and Blosser were compadres, with the wrassler referring to him as “my guy in the tabloids.”

And as far as the drinking, Barranco cops that Linda “sought an evaluation of herself at the Betty Ford Clinic.” But they apparently “found no issues and she was sent home after less than one week.”

Saying such allegations often arise in bitter divorces, Barranco insisted the case “will be resolved on the legal merits and true facts, not on the ‘he-man tactics.’ This case will be tried in court and we shall see a ‘smackdown’!!”

Good, good — we love it when people end letters in trite wordplay.

 

(Photos: Luis Santana, Getty Images)

Jodie Sweetin pregnant with elephant herd

A while back The Juice* brought news (and photos) about Jodie Sweetin, the one-time methhead who used to play little Stephanie Tanner on Full House. Well, she’s all grown up now — and grown out, since she’s due to give birth to a daughter in April.

“I’m ready to go,” she told Us. “It’s a scary thing but I’m kind of scared of how much bigger I’m going to get!” Judging from that picture, it is indeed a frightening thought, considering she has about two months to go. The 26-year-old says she and husband Cody Herpin haven’t decided on a name for their daughter yet.

“We want something different, something cute and girly, but not too girly — a little funky,” she said. “We’re not naming her after any fruits or electronic devices or anything like that. She’s going to have a fairly normal name.” But Kimmy Gibbler still isn’t allowed to come to the shower (boy, Jodie’s probably sick of jokes like that).

[Photo: Getty Images]

Good or bad?: New Kids on the Block returns

Taking the idea that they’re Hangin’ Tough a little too seriously, the New Kids on the Block are indeed staging a comeback, People reports. Buy your canned food and shotguns now.

The group’s Web site is back up with a mailing list being offered for info on the band.

But what was scary for The Juice* was the revelation that Jonathan Knight, who is a real estate developer these days, is going to be 40 this year. That makes him the oldest among actors Donnie Wahlberg (38) and Joey McIntyre (35), music producer Danny Wood (38) and Knight’s brother Jordan (37), who has kept at the recording business all these years.

Now excuse us while we try to talk Mrs. Juice out of cutting her hair into bangs, tight-rolling her jeans and getting a Hypercolor t-shirt.

[Photo: Handout]

Britney's got some 'splaining to do

Britney Spears was to be deposed Wednesday by Kevin Federline’s lawyers in their ongoing custody case, but she called in sick. (Parenting at its finest, people.) She was supposed to be there at 10 a.m., the Associated Press reported, but didn’t show up at all. Federline’s attorneys said she’ll appear at a later date, at which point she’ll be grilled about her past drug and alcohol use, her alleged failure to follow court orders, and anything that reveals whether she’s a fit mother. Like flashing her hoo-ha for the camera and attacking photographer with an umbrella, maybe?

(Photo: Entertainment Weekly/New York Times)

Howie D takes a wife

Perhaps if we built a time machine and traveled back to 1999, it would excite us to learn that Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough has snagged himself a wife. Sadly, in the year 2007, boy-banders aren't front-page news unless they're sleeping with Jessica Biel or announcing they're gay on the cover of People magazine. That said, we find ourselves duty-bound to report that Howie D (above left, in happier times) married longtime girlfriend Leigh Boniello in Orlando over the weekend. People reported several Backstreet Boys were in attendance.

(Photo: Stephanie Boyar/tbt*, 2001)

Scott Baio is 46 and Married

Ladies, the day you've long dreaded has finally arrived: Scott Baio has gotten hitched. The star of Charles in Charge and Scott Baio is 45 and Single (he actually turned 46 in September, so there's another Hollywood myth shattered) wed longtime gal pal Renee Sloan on Saturday, according to People. E! Online reports the second season of the VH1 show will deal with the birth of Baio's daughter, who was born last month, and his new marriage. Word is a camera crew was on hand to document Saturday's nuptials for the show -- so you know it was a classy affair.

So as to prevent any further confusion, The Juice* presents this handy clip 'n' save guide to Scott Baio's age, marital status and name:

(Photo: ABC.)

Boy George's chain hang low

Ladies and gentlemen ... Mr. Boy George.

LONDON (Reuters) - Police charged pop singer Boy George with false imprisonment on Tuesday after he allegedly chained a man to a wall at his London home.

Boy George, whose real name is George O'Dowd, was released on police bail and is scheduled to appear in court on November 22.

"George O'Dowd ... is charged with false imprisonment of a 28-year-old male ... on April 28, 2007," a police spokeswoman said.

The 47-year-old former Culture Club frontman was arrested in May after a man accused him of "false imprisonment and common assault" at the singer's London home.

Seriously though ... who would want to run from this face?

(Photo: AP)

Mickey Rourke busted for SUI

That would stand for “Scootering Under the Influence.” Mickey Rourke -- shown here impersonating an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean -- was arrested on DUI charges early Thursday morning in Miami Beach while driving his Vespa, the Palm Beach Post reported. A police spokesman told People that Rourke blew a .081 on the Breathalyzer and spent 24 hours at the Miami Dade County jail. According to the arrest report, Rourke’s face was flushed, his eyes bloodshot and his speech slurred. “I’m not drunk, I didn’t even drink that much,” the actor is quoted as saying.

(Mug shot: Associated Press)

Rosie coming to MSNBC?

If you thought the vitriol between Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly was rough, brace yourselves: Rosie O'Donnell might be landing a prime-time show on MSNBC. The New York Times said O'Donnell's show would go up against Larry King Live and Hannity & Colmes, but the two sides are pretty far apart on the money. "It’s far from a done deal," an exec told The Hollywood Reporter. The Juice* is not exactly itching to see O’Donnell back on the air, but it would almost be worth it just to witness the back-and-forth between her and Fox News.

Oh, and to all you Rosie O'Donnell-Sean Hannity fan-fic fetishists out there: You're welcome.

(Archive photo; MS Paintsmanship courtesy of The Juice*.)

Clay Aiken headed to 'Spamalot'

When you think Monty Python, you think Clay Aiken. You just do. That's how it is. So it should come as no surprise that Aiken is joining the Broadway cast of the musical Spamalot on Jan. 18. He'll play Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir-Lancelot in the Tony-winning musical, written by Eric Idle and directed by Mike Nichols. "I really couldn't have asked for a more wonderful group of people to work with," Aiken said in a statement. Reciprocates Nichols: "Clay Aiken is amazing beyond that glorious voice. Turns out, he is an excellent comic actor and a master of character." As you know Aiken's not the first American Idol alum to hit the Great White Way. Fantasia has starred in The Color Purple, and LaKisha Jones will join the cast in December. Tamyra Gray has performed in Rent and Bombay Dreams. Constantine Maroulis took a turn in The Wedding Singer. Diana DeGarmo was in Hairspray. And Justin Guarini now sings for quarters on the sidewalk outside the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company.

(Photo: Getty Images. That shot big enough for ya, Claymates?)

Alicia Silverstone tries to get attention for PETA

A ways back, Alicia Silverstone said she’d go naked for PETA, if the animal-rights group would have her. Well, they took her up on the offer.

The Houston Chronicle says the 30-year-old actress (yeah, like she’s been working) will appear naked in a pro-vegetarianism commercial for the group starting Wednesday. It’ll be on about two dozen times in the Texas city, which was picked by PETA because it’s awfully high on annual lists of cities with unhealthy eating habits — it was called the sixth-fattest city in the U.S. this year by Men’s Fitness.

“I wasn’t always a vegetarian, but I’ve always loved animals,” Silverstone said. “Physically, the effect has been amazing.” But will it help her flagging career? Nah.

[Photo: PETA/AP]

Steph didn't say she was pregnant -- how rude!

The Juice* has become a clearinghouse of former meth addict (and Full House star) Jodie Sweetin, so we need to spill that girl is preggers! TMZ says Sweetin and her new husband Cody Herpin — awwww ... Jodie and Cody! — sent them a sonogram of the new babe, and so far it bears no resemblance to John Stamos. The couple didn’t dish how far along things are, but that may be because they were married just a few weeks ago in Las Vegas. This pair has “lifelong bliss” written all over them.

[Photo: Getty Images]

El DeBarge arrested in domestic violence call

The last time we heard about El DeBarge, Tutti and the gang from Facts of Life were trying to win a chance to record a song with him (anyone remember that? anyone?). But now Eldra DeBarge — that’s his real name — is back on the scene after being arrested in a domestic violence call in Lancaster, Calif., People reports.

Details were sparse, but L.A. County Sheriffs Dept. Sgt. John Coffeen tells the mag that DeBarge was “cooperative” and that “an arrest like this usually involves abuse of a spouse or significant other. I don’t know whose house it was.”

The 46-year-old was denied bail and is now at the downtown L.A. jail. Jo, Blair and Natalie should pay him a visit.

Zed busted with crack in NYC

Ever wondered what really happened to the guy who played Zed in Pulp Fiction? Well, he’s not dead — actor Peter Greene was arrested Tuesday for holding some crack, the New York Daily News said.

Greene had a big problem with heroin and coke back in the ’90s, but it was believed he had cleaned up his act. He even had a shot on NBC’s The Black Donnellys before it was canceled, but that wasn’t enough to keep him from being busted on Avenue D in the East Village.

Hopefully no one will bring out the Gimp in the county lockup.

Isaiah's back, but Mandy's gone

Somebody decided Isaiah Washington’s worth a second chance.

The AP reports the ex Grey’s Anatomy actor has landed a role in NBC’s series remake Bionic Woman as “a mysterious person who is brought into the enigmatic scientific organization” that built Michelle Ryan’s titular character. The job is worth at least five episodes, with the option for an action series of his very own.

How did this happen? Washington met with new NBC co-chairman Ben Silverman at a party June 7, the same day Isaiah learned he wouldn’t be back at ABC.

“ ‘You’re not just going to be golfing, reading books. You’re coming to NBC,’ ” Washington said the executive told him.

“I’m humbled by this opportunity,” the actor said Monday in humble PR-speak. “What I always wanted to put at the forefront is my creativity, that thing I want to do, which is act.” And get a paycheck ... don’t forget that.

Meanwhile, Criminal Minds actor Mandy Patinkin has asked to be released from the show over creative differences. The 54-year-old actor plays FBI profiler Jason Gideon, a character who will be written out early this fall.

The move was related to neither a contract renegotiation or salary issues. Makes us wonder if there were any slurs being bandied about on set.

This is Stephanie Tanner? Really?

Our recent discussion of John Stamos’ condition while giving interviews in Australia got us to thinking, what happened to the rest of the Full House cast? We know about Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and Dave Coulier swings through Tampa every now and again, but what about Jodie Sweetin, who played little Stephanie Tanner?

Well, looks like the 25-year-old’s had some work done en route to the launch of an L.A. location of Harry Morton’s Mexican chain Pink Taco (click on it for the, ahem, enlargement). There are so many jokes here we find it hard to pick one, but we’ll go with: Who’s laughing now, Kimmy Gibbler?

[Photo: Getty Images]

Oh, like you haven't heard

While all the Juice*heads were tucked away safely in their little beds (or up watching DVR'd episodes of E! True Hollywood Story), poor little rich girl Paris Hilton made her break from the clink in L.A.

After three weeks of a $1,109.78-per-day stay, Hilton was released around 12:15 a.m. Left Coast time this morning, meaning The Juice* was moving on to our third round of REM sleep right about then.

A swarm of insane people crowded outside Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood to see if they couldn't take a pic of Paris (and sell it to X17, no doubt) as the cell-ebutante made her way to see mom Kathy, who apparently couldn't be troubled to even step out of her SUV to hug her jailbird daughter. They left together en route to the HIlton compund above Sunset Blvd.

"She fulfilled her debt. She was obviously in good spirits. She thanked people as she left," said sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore.

Well, she's technically still got some debt to fulfill, as Paris will be on probation until March 2009, during which time she has to keep her drivers license current and not break any more laws. That gives her plenty of time to develop a market scheme for the incarceration diet: Officials say the heirhead lost 10 pounds during her stay, according to TMZ.

Don't forget to TiVo her exclusive interview on Larry King Live on Wednesday (and then "forget" to watch it).

[Photos: AP]

Now this is a reunion we can get behind

All our childhood faves are returning! First the Transformers, then Scott Baio and now Salt ‘N’ Pepa!

The rap duo may be appearing in a new show (appropriately titled The Salt ‘N’ Pepa Show) following the pair as they attempt to reconcile their differences and get back in the groove, according to VH1.

It won’t be easy, though (is it ever?), because Sheryl “Salt” James has found God and lives a quiet life after feeling underappreciated by Sandy “Pepa” Denton, who is still a party girl and blames Salt for breaking up the group. Snap!

Work in some Spinderella weighing in on this mess and and our DVRs are set every week.

[Photo: From left, Pepa, Salt and Spinderella in 2005. Getty Images]

Now we've got Stretchy Spice, Anorexic Spice, Old Spice, Angry Spice and Unemployed Spice

So now that Sporty Spice Melanie Chisholm has relented on her qualms with a Spice Girls reunion, it looks like that dark day may be upon us.

The AP reports the quintet’s management company on Friday said they will have something pretty big to say next week, fueling rumors of a comeback -- possibly as early as December, if we're to believe People.

“Following weeks of speculation, the Spice Girls are set to make an official announcement to the world regarding future plans on Thursday, June 28,” said the statement from 19 Entertainment. “Details regarding the announcement will be released in the coming days.”

What are the chances it’s to say they’re launching a new line of baby clothes?

[Photo: AP]

Danza returns to the public eye

When the sitcoms dry up and the daytime talk shows get canceled, it’s good to know you can always fall back on Vegas. Tony Danza is headed back to Sin City to reprise his lead role as Max Bialystock in the Paris Las Vegas run of The Producers, the AP reports.

“I love the part,” Danza said. “... I think Max is a likable guy. Sure he’s up to no good. But it’s almost like he can’t help himself.” Danza, 56, played the role in the long Broadway run of the show, which opened in 2001 with Nathan Lane and ended after 2,502 performances.

Even writer Mel Brooks is thrilled: “Tony brings the laughs, a certain charm, and an inescapable charisma,” Brooks told the AP. “He’s irresistible. Everybody likes Tony Danza.” So take that, David Hasselhoff.

[Photo: AP]

Rosie keeps on rollin' after 'The View'

We really haven’t been on Rosie O’Donnell watched since she stormed out of The View, but People says she’s alive and well on tour with Cyndi Lauper. The 45-year-old comedienne played drums for the singer and yakked with the crowd at a recent show, giving her point of View to the audience.

“I got to tell you, I’ve been hanging around with those heteros for a full year and it’s not fun,” she said. “Turn around one minute and they’ll stab you in the back with a high heel. They will.”

Of course, her heterosexual former co-hosts are kind of glad she’s gone, as Barbara Walters told Ryan Seacrest last week: “There are some things that we were able to discuss that we weren’t able to discuss with Rosie, like heterosexual sex. Because, you know, Rosie’s lifestyle is different, being an open lesbian ...We are perhaps not quite as political [or] vocal about [things], but the Hot Topics have been very fun, and the ratings are up, so we’re quite happy.” Snap!

But the scary thought is the possibility that Rosie could take over The Price is Right, a possibility Bob Barker breached last week. “I believe they’re going to have a meeting with Rosie,” Barker said at the Daytime Emmy Awards. “She knows the show. There’s no doubt in my mind she could do the show.”

And what’s worse, she confirms she’s meeting with the producers! Maybe we can remind them that even with all the fuss at The View, they still lost to Ellen DeGeneres at those Emmys.

[Photo: Getty Images]

Bud Bundy argues, smokes weed

Oh, that Bud Bundy from Married with Children made us laugh back in the day. Not so much because he was funny, but because we weren’t him and didn’t live his sad life. Now life imitates art: TMZ says actor David Faustino was arrested over the weekend in New Smyrna Beach after drunkenly arguing with his ex-wife Andrea in the middle of the street. The 33-year-old was also busted for having about a gram of weed, the Orlando Sentinel says. Another child star’s life gone horribly wrong ...

[Photo: Getty Images]

Die Hard? Boy does it...

<...an Ill Literate post>

Nothing (except The King of Queens) dies harder than the Die Hard series. Sure, it's been 12 years since unstoppable cop John McClane's third adventure, Die Hard: With A Vengeance, 17 since Die Hard 2: Die Harder and 19 since the original classic Die Hard.

But Bruce Willis is back this summer in Live Free or Die Hard, which could well be the worst movie title Hollywood's drummed up since... um... Die Hard: With A Vengeance.

Live Free's release is still two months away, but the trailer's been getting plenty of play. Which brings me to my mixed emotions. The original Die Hard remains one of the coolest, most perfect action movies ever. The two sequels, while lesser, still are far better than most "supercop" fare.

I have high hopes for the fourth installment, but lowered expectations. Why? For one, the credited writers have mediocre resumes, and director Len Wiseman's only previous films are the two Underworld flicks. (Granted, they're not too bad. But hardly Die Hard worthy.)

I'm buoyed by the supporting cast: Timothy Olyphant, awesome in Deadwood and Go, is the big baddie. (No one will ever top Alan Rickman, but Tim's a good call.) Justin Long, the "Mac" in those Get a Mac commercials, plays McClane's sidekick. He's a likeable kid. (OK, he's 28. But he looks younger.)

The insanely talented Jeffrey Wright's in there too, plus Mary Elizabeth Winstead (hot), Maggie Q (hotter) and Kevin Smith (smokin' hot).

My two big issues: One, the action sequences in the trailer (watch it below) look cool, but some are so over-the-top and clearly computer-generated they look like Die Hard cartoons. And two...

Bruce is bald in this one. Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. Your Juice* authors basically are too, at least at the moment. (Yes, Josh, I shaved my head. See you at soccer.)

But Bald Bruce just isn't John McClane to me. Bald Bruce just looks like the same guy from Hostage and Tears of the Sun and a bunch of other (mostly) bad movies.

Look, I realize all the Rogaine in the world won't make the guy Sanjaya, but come on. He's still pulling the receded-hairline look in recent flicks like Perfect Stranger and Lucky Number Slevin--so why suddenly go chrome dome when you're back playing McClane? (That's him from the third film in the pic. Now that's John McClane.)

Think I'm overstating the point? Let me know. Check out the trailer and let me know if that doesn't look more like the chunky-phase Britney blowing away the bad guys:

[Photo: Times files]

The Germans hate John Goodman

Except for a couple bad movies here and there, John Goodman has really fallen off our radar since Roseanne ended. But fear not, The Juice* has found him! The 54-year-old Goodman has been sued for $3-million by Constantin Film Produktion, a German production company, for allegedly backing out of a film called Pope Joan after accepting $500,000 for a role. The flick was supposed to start filming in May, but Johnny apparently has scheduling conflicts, the AP says. “No agreement was ever reached,” Goodman rep Stan Rosenfield told TMZ.com. “This is a frivolous lawsuit.” At least we’ll see Goodman in Evan Almighty with Steve Carell. [Photo: AP]

The polar opposite of Alex

Remember when Family Ties ran out of storylines and did the sitcom staple of adding a new baby? Well, Brian Bonsall, who played little Andy Keaton on the show, is now 25 — and he just got locked up last week for allegedly beating his girlfriend. TMZ says he was arrested in Boulder, Colo., after allegedly poured an alcoholic drink on his girlfriend’s face as she slept, choked her and threw her onto a bed when she tried to leave. He’s now in the county lockup on charges of second-degree assault and false imprisonment. Where did Steven and Elyse go wrong?