John Winter R.I.P.: the Readers React

At the risk of offering too much, I figured I’d present a blog post with some of the comments I’ve received by email since my stories on WFLA weatherman John Winter’s suicide have been published online and in the newspaper. (WFLA's guest book for him is here)

When I spoke to his family Friday, they had not decided on a memorial or funeral arrangements. But that has changed: His family now says they will hold a private funeral for John on Tuesday morning, to be followed by a public memorial on Tuesday afternoon. The public service will be held just blocks from WFLA's studios at the Hyde Park United Methodist Church on 500 W. Platt Street at 4:00 p.m.

Instead of flowers, his family has requested donations be made in John's name to these organizations that reflect his longtime passion for helping children and animals:

* The Rough Riders Teddy Bear Drive, P.O. Box 75892, Tampa, FL 33675.
* All Children's Hospital, St. Petersburg, FL
* Hillsborough County Animal Services, P.O. Box 89159, Tampa, FL 33689.

Here’s a few of the most poignant emails I have received so far:

I considered suicide for the last time in January 2001, and committed myself to a mental hospital because of the fear I would follow through and actually drive my truck into that 100-year old oak tree well off the road (so I would harm no one else), full speed ahead.  I had been eyeing that particular tree for weeks without being aware of what I was contemplating.  I was lucky because I recognized the danger of the thoughts I was having prior to acting on those thoughts.  I had, and have, people around me who love me and care about me, but there are emotions too difficult to express to those you love the most.  I was able to be open and totally honest with strangers because I knew these were people who were specially trained and had the knowledge to help me and NOT empathize with me and tell me "Things will look brighter tomorrow" or "Just snap out of it and smile!"

I have suffered from depression for over thirty years, using therapy and medications that in the end were not solutions, only stop-gap measures.  However, I finally found a therapist and psychiatrist who accurately diagnosed me with bipolar disorder, which has completely changed my life for the better.  I am now getting the correct medications that have helped me immensely, and my therapist and I are making great progress.  I feel hopeful now, something I haven't felt since I was a child - and that is no exaggeration.  I will say that living without hope is very difficult indeed, and at times seems pointless.

This past December a very special and much-loved close family member attempted suicide.  I cannot describe the feelings that engulfed me, other than to say "devastation."  My entire family was profoundly affected by her action and, in the end, in a positive way - but ONLY because she was not successful in her suicide attempt.  The depth of my family-member's emotional turmoil was recognized, and she began to receive the help she had so urgently needed.  She, just like me, has also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

I vividly recall feeling as if I was in a deep and dark hole with nothing overhead but darkness - while at the same time being all "sweetness and light" at work.  I was continually smiling and doing all I could to boost other's spirits and to help other people with their problems.  However, at the same time, I was also wishing I was dead - that my life was over and my pain had ended.  But, to reiterate, I have hope again, after all the years that have passed, and I am no longer fearful that my emotional well-being is directed by some unknown force and will change for the worse, for some reason unknown to me.

I understand the pain John Winter's family and friends are going through, and empathize.  I hope that they will all come to the realization that there was nothing, NOTHING at all that any of them could have done, did not do, did do, or did wrong, that could have stopped or caused Mr. Winter's actions.  In the end, when we make that decision to end our life or not, we each stand alone, and whether we choose to live is left to each of us alone.

I think that it is so sad. I had watch Mr. Winter since I was a lil girl and I have grown to love him. And I want his family to know that they have my prayers and thoughts. And I hope they are able to get through this. But I understand where people are coming from when they said they want to end it all. I am 19 years old and I think about killing myself all the time due to the fact on how I was raised. I was in diffrent foster home and the foster home parents where mean and nasty because I was a black female so I ran away and started sexing my body for money. And every time I laid down with a diffrent man I just wanted to roll over and end it all.

*****
Your article today on a follow up about John Winter's suicide was very good.  I just have one thing I would like to encourage the media to do...........A show on suicide is important, but I think even more important is something being written about depression.  Everyone was looking for answers about how this could have happened to a man who appeared to have it all.  It is so sad to hear that it was depression and it wasn't treated properly.  Maybe this could have been prevented.  How very sad for his family and the whole Tampa Bay area. News reports about this disease might help to save someone's life.

*******
I am fairly undone by the news of John Winter's passing.  We had been e-mailing each other as recently as two weeks ago.  He was one of the last people I saw before I moved.  I guess I'll never forget the e-mail bantering we would engage in during his morning shows.  It was a fun way to wake up.  I'll miss his funny one liners both on the television and in his notes.  I'm so sorry for his wife, parents, sisters and co-workers.  For a long time, they will be asking themselves "What if" and "Why."  Your coverage on line has been really respectful.

As the news settled in on me last night, all the old feelings of my previous experience when another friend of mine took his life began resurfacing.  It's an odd juxtaposition that I'll be grieving the loss of a friend on the same weekend I'll be celebrating the passing and rebirth of a religious icon.  It is my hope that through his death that he is reborn with the peace he was seeking.

********
Unconditional love is the reason pets..or animals should be revered.  Yet in the 25 years I have rescued felines off the streets as a hobby I have been through some very heart-rending situations.  For those times when "no reason" was evident for a result, I have always found some comfort in these Rainbow Bridge statements.

I always saw Mr. Winter (& Channel 8) as a helpmate for those unfortunate pets that needed another chance at a rainbow bridge relationship. 

You both wrote some awesome pieces in the Sat. papers.  HOPEFULLY those of us who care and pause ...will be able to learn and use some new found knowledge from John's sorrow and his/our loss.  That seems to be the only thing we can do at this point. 

If we are touched by John Winter, it is our role to create hope and solutions where we or someone has none. 

I know I should have sent this with the thousands who have entered very important words in his blog.  Yet it has taken some thought to go this route.  Hopefully you will see the value and share with those who might need to be comforted to begin to understand.

*********
For those of us who worked with NewsChannel 8 meteorologist John Winter, all the outpouring of support here and on other blogs around the here is VERY much appreciated.

In response to critics of the media coverage, John's reach to his morning/MidDay viewers was overwhelming judging from the 10K indiv. entries on the blog at tbo.com. I think it is warranted, the viewers and his co-workers need the release of the funny video retrospective and most TV stations have produced sidebar stories on the dangers of suicide.

Bottom line, our good friend John Winter is gone -- far too young and in a tragic, violent way. We will forever hold the memories of your precise forecasts, your pranks with the crew and other meterologists behind-the-scenes near and dear to our hearts.

Rest in peace, John. We miss you dearly but are comforted knowing you and your beloved Davis are enjoying walks in the park once again.

Comments

[Wintervakantie]

Ireally love winter

[nhartt]

just help me out

[ELINOR]

You say that Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are "seriously flawed leaders." This type of statement demands substantiation. Al Sharpton's comments on Imus were on message. He said clearly that the issue is not whether Imus is racist or whether he is sorry about what he said. The issue is whether or not these degrading comments should be permitted on the public airways. This incident has provided a lot of folks an opportunity to beat up on Sharpton and Jackson. Jesse said "Hymietown" and Sharpton mistakenly defended Tawana Brawley. Jesse apologized profusely on numerous occasions and has been vilified by Jews ever since. Sharpton has had to eat crow for his mistaken defense of Tawana. While I believe the black community must muzzle SOME hip hoppers (they are not all the same), there is an enormous difference between them and Imus. When Snoop Dog and 50 Cents and a few others use this abhorrent language, they are talking about women in general; when Imus used it, he was talking about 10 specific, identified women. This is a big difference. Is there such a thing as "slander" anymore?

[Tom Madden]

I was grateful for so many compassionate remarks about John Winter's tragic death. Glad, also, you shut the bible thumper. No human being can ever judge the state of any man or woman's conscience at any givem. My own brother committed suicde 5 years ago on March 25 and I live with it daily. The turning point in healing came when I surrendered to God all the efforts that I put forth trying to undertand what I will NOT understand. I am a Catholic priest and have done dozens of suicide funerals. I am open to talking to John's wife, but more powerfully, declaring that I believe that love of God is greater than any human hurt or intention. God bless John and all who are hurt by the mystery of his death.

[Tom Madden]

I was grateful for so many compassionate remarks about John Winter's tragic death. Glad, also, you shut the bible thumper. No human being can ever judge the state of any man or woman's conscience at any givem. My own brother committed suicde 5 years ago on March 25 and I live with it daily. The turning point in healing came when I surrendered to God all the efforts that I put forth trying to undertand what I will NOT understand. I am a Catholic priest and have done dozens of suicide funerals. I am open to talking to John's wife, but more powerfully, declaring that I believe that love of God is greater than any human hurt or intention. God bless John and all who are hurt by the mystery of his death.

[Tom Madden]

I was grateful for so many compassionate remarks about John Winter's tragic death. Glad, also, you shut the bible thumper. No human being can ever judge the state of any man or woman's conscience at any givem. My own brother committed suicde 5 years ago on March 25 and I live with it daily. The turning point in healing came when I surrendered to God all the efforts that I put forth trying to undertand what I will NOT understand. I am a Catholic priest and have done dozens of suicide funerals. I am open to talking to John's wife, but more powerfully, declaring that I believe that love of God is greater than any human hurt or intention. God bless John and all who are hurt by the mystery of his death.

[Kimberly]

This is a horrible time for John Winters' family and friends so a need to express anything more then care and compassion, is cruel. Remember THAT when you pray and ask yourself where being judgemental has a place in your faith......I am so sad about the news of John Winter. I hope that his family will know that they are being prayed for everyday. I hope that you all find peace in the near future.

[Eric Deggans]

Curt --

I am the arbiter of what can and can't be said on my blog. I felt your comments about man who killed himself being consigned to eternal punishment crossed a line of decency and compassion.

To be honest, I planned to delet the comment about murder as well, but I forgot in the rush to do my job in other areas. that said, i think your comments were worse.

And because is my blog, I get to make those kind of calls.

Please bear in mind that colleagues, friends, fans and even possibly family members of John Winter may be reading these posts. Edit your responses accordingly, or i'll be forced to remove them.

[Richard K. Palais]

I am very sad about what happened to John Winter. I really liked him as a human being and as a Weatherman. I looked forward to seeing and hearing him every morning. He gave my day a great start and I for one, will miss him forever! In fact, my entire family is sad and really distraught about his untimely death. We all believe that John was a good man with a quick sense of humor and a warmth and caring that could be felt by everyone. I keep thinking, "if only someone knew why and could have gotten through to him before he..." but I guess we will never really know what happened within the confines of his darkest thoughts. RIP, John. We all love you and miss you! Rich Palais

[Eric Deggans]

I apologize to other posters here. i've generally been pretty good about weeding out the comments which cross the line. But I missed Curt for a few hours. I would encourage all to consider this guy some kinda crank who wants to stir the pot.

[Barb]

Amen Kim,
there is no reason to pass judgement on anyone ever and curt didn't know John. I am a viewer like many others who's morning was not complete without John. We may never know (nor is it our business) what pain was in John's heart. This is a place to express our sympathy and share our good thoughts about John. The God I know, Whom I believe in is loving and forgiving and doesn't condemn people to burning in Hell. Keep John and his family in your hearts and know that his pain is over and hopefully his death will help others seek help before tragedy happens again.

To John's family, He will be missed by everone. He touched so many lives through his community involvement and weather forecast. John would want to be remembered as the person who was always happy and smiling. Lets take the time to make this tragedy into a community education on the problems that may have lead to this. Depression is ugly and without help its fatal. I believe John would have wanted this to be used to educate people of the signs and ways to to get them help.

Karen, I want you to know someone knows what you are going through. The pain, the hurt, the anger, an not understanding. I have been there. Its now been 17 years since I lost the person I loved so dear. He to was struggling with depression. I was young and did not know the signs. If I knew I may have been able to do something. Hang in there. Time heals but in honesty you will always feel the loss. It gets easier as time goes by. Don't try to deal with this alone. I did and it took a toll on me and my family. Seek help through a counsler or someone you trust and can depend on.

My prayers and thoughts are with you. God Bless.

[Kim]

To respond to the posting of "Curt".This is not the time or place to bring your Bible thumping ideas to. There are many of us who knew and loved John. We are the people who called him a friend. We didn't just watch him on t.v. like most.His job was very demanding. Relize before you speak that he wore an earpiece listening for cues, watched a monitor, and tried to interact with the anchors. It is overwhelming. Not distance. He tried to do his best at all cost. He didn't just half-ass things. You have no right to come on here and post that John is burning in Hell's fire. John had deamons, as do we all.Yes, even you. We, even as friends don't need to know what they were, just that they were there. As for his family, insurance money is not a thought. Losing there husband, son, brother, and uncle is there concern. Now, go the way of the wind "Curt", Dispite what you think John was a good, loving friend. I believe that he IS in a much greater place.One where the words of idiots will not reach his ear!God bless you John.You are, and always will be, loved and missed!

[Holly]

I have long said, "What a difference a day can make!" Good, bad, or ugly; there is an ebb and flow to life. One can only imagine what good things could have followed the very next day in John's life. In my mind, it's not an act of selfishness but one who is a lost soul and needs guidance. Good mental healh is worth its weight in GOLD! God bless his family and all his co-workers!

I am sorry this has happand to John Winter. I tried to commit suicide when I was 18 and when I was unsuccessful my family just wanted to shun me and have me put in a mental institution. They said I was selfish and just wanted attention. I still struggle with depression and have been on and off medication but due to their treatment of me during my darkest hour I have maintained strength to stick it to them where is hurts the most. I still feel the temptation when things are not going well. But, I do have good days and I look back that I wouldn't have this day if I had taken my life days before. I wish John had just waited one more day and maybe he could say the same. I will miss him in the morning. My prayers are with his family and friends.

There is a gut feeling I have that this has been determined that John took his own life without considering murder. Who would profit by having him dead? was there any of his family, friends, partners,that could have brought this on through mental or physical abuse? These are questions I think should be looked into before closing this case. A concerned long time person who watched John's weather report.???????

[anonymous]

Totally agree with the blogger that wrote that even if friends have the best of the intentions, they are not qualified to treat a darkening, devastating disease as depression. Male depression is dangerous, more because men tend to succeed more than women when attempting suicide. I am one of the ones battling with the disease, which also hit my ex-wife and my son.

Only expert help coming from a combination of a psychiatrist, a psychologist and medication will help someone to overcome the darkness of depression. It took me a learning process to realize this; after failing to "toughen up" my ex-wife, and failing to myself, I finally realized that the best way to overcome depression was by getting great counseling and medication. I am applying what I learned with my son.

Mr. Winters, I am so sad, sorry, and devastated that you lost the battle, more because it brings up memories that one do not want to recall. I only hope that the message reaches all friends of depressed individuals, help them by taking them to expert help. Mr. Winters, rest in peace, with God, or whomever your faith guided your good intentions.

[Lisa DeVitto]

John's untimely passing should remind us that we need to pay more attention to the emotional well-being of those around us -- mental health care is very important, but it receives little attention or funding. Florida ranks 15th in the nation in suicides, and down at the bottom in mental health funding -- 47/48th. Also, it was reported in the news that Governor Crist eliminated a request to the Legislature for $150,000 for an Office of Suicide Prevention. Go to www.samh.org for more information.

[Daniel Pennant]

I have known much about John Winter,acrrording to the EbonyFriends.com. He is so good that I will remember him.

[Daniel Pennant]

John Winter is a good man and We will forever hold the memories of his precise forecasts, I mentioned him on EbonyFriends.com, all of my friends were sad.