My list of summer TV's worst shows . . . so far

A couple of weeks back, I filled The Feed with a list of the shows I most liked this summer. Now it’s time for the other shoe to land.

For every ambitious drama like Nurse Jackie or True Blood, there’s a boorish I Survived a Japanese Game show lurking around the corner. And heartwarming as some of the performers’ stories are on America’s Got Talent, most of the bunch are musty enough that I’ve considered adding a question mark to the end of the show’s title.

In that spirit of crabby grousing that the sweltering heat of late July can produce, here’s my list of stinkers for the summer – titled, you’d be well-advised to avoid by any means necessary.

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, 12:35 p.m. weeknights, WFLA-Ch. 8: The rush from his triumphant debut has faded, and a few months into his job as NBC’s New Conan, it’s obvious former Saturday Night Live star Fallon is floundering like a 16-year-old driving his dad’s Maserati. Mentor Lorne Michaels has built an amazing vehicle for his young talent – complete with the second-best band in late-night, The Roots – but Fallon can’t do much with it besides make funny faces and look adorable.

I’m  a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here, aired in June on WFLA: Unfolding like a bizarre ripoff/blend of Celebrity Apprentice and Survivor, this show mostly had the distinction of publicizing reality TV brats Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt so much, you actually felt sorry for Sanjaya Malakar and the governor’s wife whose husband got caught trying to sell Barack Obama’s old Senate seat.

 Big Brother 11, airing at 8 p.m. Sundays and Thursdays, 9 p.m. Tuesdays on WTSP-Ch. 10: In case there was a viewer left who missed the sophomoric stuff that went down when a dozen vapid reality TV wanna-bes got stuck in a makeshift house over three months, this year producers made it official by separating contestants into the kind of cliques you remember from high school. The problem: This makes the show unwatchable for everyone except that small percentage who still fondly remember high school.

Wipeout, airing at 8 p.m. Wednesdays on WFTS-Ch. 28: Watching over-excited, under-coordinated knuckleheads doink their heads of the show’s outlandish obstacle courses feels entertaining the first dozen times you watch. But every telecast feels like it saps your brain power a little more, until you’re babbling at the screen like somebody stuck in the audience of that Schwarzenegger film, The Running Man.

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For this wise African-American, Sotomayor hearings unveil the heart of race conflict in America

Never have I wanted more to throw a brick through the screen of my television.

Watching Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor sit stoically through a succession of white men, perched at the head of the whitest, malest, most powerful political institution in the country -- the U.S. Senate -- telling a Latina from a New York housing project that her Hispanic heritage should mean nothing in her work as a judge, was heartbreaking.

“Our legal system is at a dangerous crossroads. Down one path is the traditional American system, so admired around the world, where judges impartially apply the law to the facts without regard to personal views,” said Republican Sen. Jeff Sessions during the  first day of Sotomayor's hearings Monday. “Down the other path lies a brave new world, where words have no true meaning, and judges are free to decide what facts they choose to see. ... I reject that view, and Americans reject that view.”

Or Sen. Charles Grassley from Iowa: “Judge Sotomayor, you are nominated to the highest court of the land, which has the final say on the law. As such, it’s even more important for the Senate to ascertain whether you can resist the temptations to mold the Constitution to your own personal beliefs and preferences. It’s even more important for the Senate to ascertain whether you can dispense justice without bias or prejudice.”

For anyone who knows how the pointedly conservative views of justices such as Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas have shaped their decisions, this posturing was worse than disingenuous. It was a neon sign that said: judges get to use their personal backgrounds to decide cases when they're conservative.

GOP legislators have worked themselves into a lather over Sotomayor’s comment about a “wise Latina” making better decisions than a white male. However true that might be regarding discrimination cases, it’s the kind of in-your-face racial absolutism that was a perfect softball for conservatives bent on twisting her original meaning.

On Tuesday, Sotomayor didn't debate the issue, dismissing the line as a clumsy mistake and insisting she would “state up front, unequivocally and without doubt, I do not believe that any ethnic, racial or gender group has an advantage in sound judging.”

Still, consider what then-nominee Samuel Alito told the Senate during his confirmation hearings in 2006: "But when I look at those cases, I have to say to myself, and I do say to myself, "You know, this could be your grandfather, this could be your grandmother. They were not citizens at one time, and they were people who came to this country" . . .  When I get a case about discrimination, I have to think about people in my own family who suffered discrimination because of their ethnic background or because of religion or because of gender. And I do take that into account."

Anyone who is paying the barest attention knows that this is when Supreme Court rulings count most; when issues of law are debatable and all that's left is what each justice believes in their heart is right.

But yesterday's cavalcade of conservative GOP senators decrying Sotomayor's statements about her heritage and the role of judges in making law -- boldly honest statements she had to know would come back to bite her someday -- also reinforced that age-old Republican canard: conservative white people don't make decisions based on their culture.

It's what I have often called the privilege of being generic. When Chief Justice John Roberts reaches back to his heritage and personal values to make decisions, he's simply allowing timeless principles to guide his thinking. But Sotomayor using the experience of being the first and the only in so many places of power is shrugged off as bias -- an unforgiveable unfairness for GOP senators, mostly because it doesn't benefit their causes.

(Indeed, as blogger Glenn Greenwald points out, nobody asked Alito whether his Italian-American heritage influenced his vote upholding claims by Italian-American firefighters in overturning a Sotomayor-decided affirmative action case.) 

Still, this is the beating heart of most conflicts over race in America. People of color fear decisions made by institutions still largely controlled by white culture and white people, while those white people in power often insist they are just doing "what is right" or "what is just" -- unable or unwilling to admit the role their culture plays in their own decisionmaking.

What we're really seeing, of course, is an elaborate Kabuki theater, in which Republicans complain loudly about a jurist everyone knows is really a centrist -- though you never can tell, once they get that lifetime appointment -- so that when Obama advances a real liberal justice in his next appointment, that person will look even more radical by comparison.

Sototmayor proved Monday she's going to play along, offering a short statement that focused mostly on the facts of her biography and promising "fidelity to the law." It's the Obama strategy -- don't engage these sticky race issues if you don't have to, dodge them.

And so we're treated to another high-profile instance where some people get to pretend they don't have an agenda while others are accused of nothing but.

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Producers for Jerry Seinfeld's Marriage Ref come to the Tampa Bay area this weekend

If you haven't already tried out for Who Wants to be a Millionaire, or Biggest Loser or America's Next Top Model or American Idol -- all top reality TV shows who have auditioned folks in or near the Tampa Bay area in recent weeks -- then you've got one more shot at unscripted television glory.

Producers for Jerry Seinfeld's new show The Marriage Ref are expected to fly into the Tampa Bay area this weekend, scheduling interviews with couples who have a longstanding disagreement over something ("no problem is too small," the casting notice insists).

Instead of arranging a cattle call audition somewhere public, however, the producers are asking prospective couples to call their hotline at 1-877-304-4040 or email marriagerefcasting@shedmediaus.com to schedule an interview this weekend. Seinfeld is the creator and executive producer; in other words, he isn't going to be there.

The Marriage Ref is a show dreamed up by Seinfeld which allows celebrities, comics and sports stars to act as referees for typical and not-so-typical marital spats.

So imagine turning to Chris Rock for advice on how to keep your wife from complaining about your boys nights out, or asking Kathy Griffin for tips on how to spice up your love life (maybe you want to ask Pamela Anderson, instead)

If you do call and get an audition, feel free to post here on how it went.

This may be some couple's last chance to earn the kind of fame which has made household names of Jon and Kate Gosselin -- though that may not be the best motivation.

Tampa Bay Idol winner and runner-up move up

Samantha Leigh's shot at American Idol fame came down to about 15 seconds; the amount of time she got to blast through Aretha Franklin's Rock Steady during her audition today before American Idol producers in Orlando.

Leigh was the singer I helped choose for a special audition slot handed out through WTVT-Ch. 13's Tampa Bay Idol contest, working with four other judges to sort through 80 applicants and watching 10 finalists sing at a Brandon mall.

Turns out, she and second-place finisher Brad Iturriaga did well, moving to the next stage in Idol's audition process.

Leigh's win guaranteed an audition before the show's producers ahead of the 10,000 people who crowded around Amway Arena today, joining about 50 people who had won similar contests around the region or done well at Disney World's Idol Experience.

 According to Leigh, singers were split into groups and asked to sing when pointed at, standing before four casting producers. Generally, singers got through about 15 seconds of a tune before they were stopped -- nothing like the longer auditions with feedback they show during the Idol broadcasts.

(Here's Leigh with WTVT's Charley Belcher, me, WFLZ's Meredith and singer Belinda Womack last week in Brandon.)

"They tell you ahead of time not to introduce yourself, not to ask for feedback, they just point to you and you sing," said Leigh, 22, who works as a hairstylist and performs at Busch Gardens  in Tampa. "It was crazy, nerve-racking . . . almost surreal."

Leigh and Iturriaga will perform for the show's executive producers later this month -- Fox doesn't publicize those auditions the way they hype the big stadium cattle calls -- and won't face on-camera judges such as Simon Cowell, if they're lucky, until next month.

Leigh didn't even get to meet Idol host Ryan Seacrest, who was there to film some of the opening sequences for the audition shows. "I did get to stand 20 feet away from him," she said, laughing. "Maybe I'll meet him next time."

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Oprah re-airs episode based on St. Pete Times' Pulitzer-winning report, The Girl in the Window, today

Talk queen Oprah Winfrey is re-airing her episode based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning St. Petersburg Times series The Girl in the Window today.

You can see the episode locally at 4 p.m. on NBC affiliate WFLA-Ch. 8. see the Times array of reports by clicking here.

The episode was actually filmed last year, featuring Times reporter Lane DeGregory, who authored an in-depth look at a 6-year-old named Danielle found living in squalor in plant city, unable to talk, wearing dirty diapers and living in a cockroach-infested home. See Winfrey's online material by clicking here.

Winfrey's cameras visited the Plant City home in which Danielle was found in 2005 with the officer who discovered her, describing how animal feces lined the walls, how her mattress was moldy and falling apart, and the child herself was covered in insect bites, fleas and mites, wearing only a soiled diaper.

Footage from Tampa Bay area cable newschannel Bay News 9's 2008 interview with Danielle's biological mother, Michelle Crockett, was shown during the episode, with Crockett's face blurred out. Winfrey never mentioned Crockett by name, quizzing DeGregory on the mother's mental state; DeGregory appeared from the Times newsroom via the video conferencing service Skype.

"She seemed very much in denial," DeGregory said of Crockett. "She felt very much like a victim . . . Her only regret was moving (to Florida)." Winfrey noted that the show attempted to get a statement from Crockett through her attorney, who did not return their calls.

Times photographer Melissa Lyttle's intimate, revealing photographs were added to footage gathered by Winfrey's producers and other sources to show Danielle's integration into her adoptive family, including parents Diane and Bernie Lierow.

Clips of Danielle spending time with the Lierows revealed what Danielle looks like during frequent fits and while she was learning new ways to eat, walk and use the bathroom. The Lierows appeared in Winfrey's studio for the story, but Danielle remained off camera in the show's "green room" for guests, seen there only in a brief video clip of the host meeting with the family backstage.

As Discovery Channel airs tribute to pitchman Billy Mays tonight, his family OKs continued airing of his commercials

As I originally reported last week, the family of legendary pitchman Billy Mays has given their permission for marketers to continue airing commercials featuring the popular infomercial/spot selling king, who died suddenly in his Tampa home on June 28.

Mays' family issued a statement Wednesday announcing the decision, reached after a conference call held last week with more than a dozen marketers who had built advertising campaigns around Mays. Though Mays' son, Billy Mays III, has made reference to a foundation to be established in his father's name, the Wednesday statement makes no reference to it.

Roger Pliakas, a California attorney representing Mays' family, said in the statement, "Out of respect for Billy's family, most commercials were temporarily pulled off the air as his loss was mourned.  While the mourning and healing process will continue for the family, they have graciously given permission for all the people, inventors, companies and corporations to continue using his likeness on television and packaging pursuant to and honoring all existing agreements that he had in place.  The family hopes this will be done respectfully and at an appropriate time because they strongly believe this is what Billy would have wanted."

The company behind the Mighty Putty and Mighty Mendit products announced Wednesday they will air the last long-form infomercial Mays recorded before his death, a pitch for the Mighty Tape adhesive strips that featured the salesman repairing a leaky air line while scuba diving -- in his trademark blue shirt and khaki pants. 

 "It is important to understand that Billy believed in every product he sold, and he loved nothing more than bringing helpful products to people at a great savings," said his wife Deborah, in the statement.  "He always enjoyed meeting his loyal fans and taking time to really talk to everyday people."

Discovery Channel will air an hourlong tribute to Mays at 9 tonight called Pitchman: A Tribute to Billy Mays, featuring interviews with family members, his co-workers in the infomercial industry and his co-star on the series Pitchmen, Anthony Sullivan. A spokeswoman for the channel said Discovery had not made any decision on the future of Pitchmen, which aired the last episode of its first season July 1.

Pallbearers copied Mays look for his July 3 funeral, carrying the pitchman's coffin clad in his trademark blue shirt and khaki pants.

Discovery has also created a space on YouTube where fans can upload video tributes to Mays. Click here to travel to the site. Look below to see some of the videos already uploaded there.

My top 11 moments from today's Michael Jackson memorial

Her voice had never been heard by the public before, somehow shielded from the searing spotlight which had turned her father into the biggest pop star on the globe.

But when 11-year-old Paris Michael Katherine Jackson finally spoke to the world, she brought a simple message about Michael Jackson which cut through all the controversy, gossiping and recriminations threatening to overshadow the memorial service Tuesday for the King of Pop.

“Ever since I was born…daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine,” Paris Jackson said, sobs catching in the back of her throat after the star-studded, four-hour tribute, flanked by her aunts and uncles. “And I just want to say I love him so much.”

Forget the sniping about who was or wasn’t there. Forget the speculation about who will get his millions, what his drug habits were and why some mourners seemed so eager to find a spotlight after his passing. Paris reminded us, at the heart of all this bombast was a father leaving three children far too soon.

Like he did so often when alive, Michael Jackson took centerstage in one final showbiz extravaganza that was ultimately so moving and momentous you had to give it up, one last time.

Along with Paris’ tender tribute, here’s my list of the other moments that made Tuesday’s memorial a singular, fitting recognition to the pop star:

10. Jackson’s backing singers leading the final song, a soaring version of We Are the World. Nice that, in an event featuring so many boldfaced names, a few unknown talents could shine so brightly.

9. Brooke Shields reminding the audience that it is possible to grow up as a child star and become a reasonably well-adjusted person. Her speech, constantly on the edge of tears, seemed more heartfelt than any but Paris’ words, as she recalled her teen friendship with Jackson and her first reaction to his trademark sequined mitten: “What’s up with the glove?”

8. Al Sharpton delivering a sermon filled with enough thunder and righteousness to remind us all there’s a “reverend” in front of his name for a reason. His best line, to Jackson’s kids —- “Ain’t nothing strange about your daddy; what he had to deal with was strange.” — was true and not in the same moment.

7.Britain’s Got Talent star Shaheen Jafargholi may have been a little pitchy, dawg, but the 12-year-old earned major props for tackling Who’s Lovin’ You in front of  Stevie Wonder and Lionel Ritchie.

6. Magic Johnson marveling that a star big as Jackson ordered in Kentucky Fried Chicken when the two hung out at his home.

5. A very pregnant Jennifer Hudson, rebounding fro the tragedy of seeing her mother, brother and nephew killed just months ago, anchoring a soaring, churchified version of Will You Be There.

4. Motown Records owner Berry Gordy topping an emotional speech by calling Jackson “the greatest entertainer that ever lived.” Almost made you forget he nearly turned down the Jackson 5 when they auditioned for his label.

3. Jermaine Jackson, once the family’s second-biggest star, struggling to get through a version of Charlie Chaplin’s song Smile, his voice challenged by grief and the Staples Center’s cavernous acoustics.

2. Smokey Robinson laughing as he recalled how a 10-year-old Jackson sang a version of Who’s Lovin’ You so well, Robinson had to remind some fans he sang — and wrote it — first.

1. Mariah Carey picking I’ll Be There as the memorial’s opening song and being smart enough to bring backing singer Trey Lorenz onstage, even as grief or lack of practice brought her usually soaring vocals to earth a bit.

Michael Jackson Memorial coverage notes: Will biggest news be who doesn't show up?

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 Watching Smokey Robinson read an awkward tribute from Diana Ross at Michael Jackson's just-underway memorial at the Staples Center, it strikes me: The biggest news from this event may be who doesn't show up.

Already, longtime Jackson pal Elizabeth Taylor has said she won't appear, sending messages through Twitter -- Liz Taylor is on Twitter?!? --  ""I've been asked to speak at the Staples Center. I cannot be part of the public whoopla....And I cannot guarantee that I would be coherent to say a word...I just don't believe that Michael would want me to share my grief with millions of others. How I feel is between us. Not a public event."

Snarkier minds may theorize that Taylor just doesn't want to appear before a worldwide audience these days -- she has been seen in a wheelchair in public recently. But I wrote this morning about how Jackson's story can seem to corrode whomever it touches -- perhaps friends such as Ross and Taylor just don't want to share space with obvious parasites like dad Joe Jackson.

Though the coverage has just begun, we've already seen a few interesting moments: an NBC reporter who had to be reminded that Betty White is not buried in Forest Lawn cemetery -- in fact, she's not dead -- but Bette Davis is; Fox news anchor Shep Smith sounding a little irritated as the channel tracked the progress of Jackson's casket through traffic noting "they're shutting down freeways for this funeral?" and ex-MTV VJ John Norris wearing a hairstyle (or hairpiece) which looks like a toupee stolen from Donald Trump and stapled to his forehead.

Commentators are comparing the spectacle to Princess Diana's death -- but this may be even bigger thanks to the worldwide audience funneled in by Facebook, Twitter and loads of Web sites. Shades of coverage seems to vary little -- though black-focused BET seems to be very deliberately avoiding any talk about the seamier sides of Jackson's life or legacy.

And it makes a certain kind of sense that the memorial for Jackson, who always seemed to exist in a time a bit apart from everyone else, would start late and have a huge pause in the beginning.

Who should Variety magazine honor as best TV performers of the new millennium?

As 2009 speeds to close, critics and pundits are scrambling to define the Oughts -- the first ten years of the new millennium.

So it makes a certain kind of sense that the trade magazine Variety would be asking critics like me to help them figure out who should get their Emmys of the '00s -- tribute as the best TV performers at the turn of the new century.

Earlier this year, we voted on finalists, listed below. I've already pulled out my picks, but I don't have to deliver a final vote until July 21. So if you disagree, now's your chance to make an argument.

Who gets your vote as best TV performer of the new millennium?

DRAMA SERIES Nominees

My pick: “The Sopranos” -- For combining creative storytelling and compelling characters with the most popular series in premium cable TV history.

The rest: “Friday Night Lights”, “Lost”, “Mad Men”, “The West Wing”, “The Wire”

COMEDY SERIES - Nominees

My pick: “The Daily Show” I wanted Raymond, because it is the last, best conventional sitcom in the group. But Jon Stewart and Co. meld side-splitting humor with satire so powerful it has actually made a difference in the real world.

The rest: “Everybody Loves Raymond”, “30 Rock”, “Arrested Development”, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, “The Office”

DRAMA ACTOR - Nominees

My pick: James Gandolfini, “The Sopranos” - Another amazing field. But Gandolfini brought the quality year after year for eight seasons, creating a character so complex we were attracted and repulsed by him in the same breath. Other than Chiklis' Sheild run, no one else here has quite that tenure at the top.

The rest: Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”, Jon Hamm, “Mad Men”, Hugh Laurie, “House”, Michael Chiklis, “The Shield”, Bryan Cranston, “Breaking Bad”

DRAMA ACTRESS - Nominees

My pick: Edie Falco, “The Sopranos” - Can you tell I loved The Sopranos? Still, Falco was mesmerizing as the pragmatic mob wife who could give as good as she got. Their wall-shattering argument at the end of the 6th season was so close to reality, I felt like I was listening in on the neighbors.

The rest: Connie Britton, “Friday Night Lights”, Glenn Close, “Damages”, Allison Janney, “The West Wing", Mary McDonnell, “Battlestar Galactica”, Kyra Sedgwick, “The Closer”

COMEDY ACTOR - Nominees

My pick: Kelsey Grammer, “Frasier” - it's not as flashy a role as some of these characters, but Grammer deserves the title for creating a character which anchored two hit TV comedies, Frasier and Cheers.

The rest: Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”, Jason Bateman, “Arrested Development”, Steve Carell, “The Office”, Larry David, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, Ricky Gervais, “The Office”

COMEDY ACTRESS - Nominees

My pick: Sarah Jessica Parker, “Sex and the City” - Parker wins by a hair; only because this tart, explicit, naughty HBO series let Parker do so much -- from playing the committment-phobe against John Corbett's marriage ready furniture designer to pining for Chris Noth's Manhattan business mogul Mr. Big.

The rest: Tina Fey, “30 Rock”, Lauren Graham, “Gilmore Girls”, Patricia Heaton, “Everybody Loves Raymond”, Jane Kaczmarek, “Malcolm in the Middle”, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “The New Adventures of Old Christine”, Mary-Louise Parker, “Weeds”

If she's seeking higher office, Sarah Palin may be flunking her biggest test: Mastering the media

If Sarah Palin wants to a be a serious candidate for president, she will have to master one thing above all else: above knowing the issues, above building her base and above reconciling with the corner of the Republican party's leadership which sees her as a toxic mix of ambition and self-destructive unpredictability.

She must master the media.

So far, it looks like she's been letting the media play her, offering an awkward, stream-of-consciousness rant to justify her abdication of the Alaska governorship that made her look slightly unhinged when carved down to the requisite soundbites for TV and wire copy.

She blamed the media for picking on her -- and there's little doubt she's faced a few cheap shots. But she's also faced some serious reporting unmasking substantial problems in her candidacy for vice president, which she hasn't really addressed (to say nothing of calling a major press conference at the last minute on a 4th of July weekend, then barring reporters who showed up late).

Now, her lawyer has sent a letter to big media outlets warning them they may face legal action if they report on rumors tossed around by some bloggers and pundits that she is being investigated for actions taken during construction of the Wasilla Sports Complex, or may be investigated for embezzlement. Full text here.

Why can I write these words with little fear of a lawsuit? Because I'm just repeating details Palin's lawyer brought up himself. Just as every other mainstream journalist who reports on this letter will do.

Which only makes my point for me: Palin must learn to better master the media, instead of letting it master her.