TCA flashback: The five weirdest things I witnessed during the TV Critics press tour

I'm still driving back to the Sunshine State from Chicago as I write this, so I'm a little short on new material. instead, let me present you with a flashback to my time at the TV Critic's press tour in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago:

Five most oddball things I witnessed during the TV critics press tour:

1) Rapper Coolio swearing to me that one of the ladies from Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta was “on his jock.” Whatever that means.

2) Damian Lewis, the British actor who stars in NBC’s Life, speaking almost exclusively in his character’s American accent because “speaking to Americans, my British accent sounds fake.”

3) Howie Mandel, the host of NBC’s Deal or No Deal and a renowned germophobe, insisting on simply bumping fists when meeting journalists.

4) Jay Leno, disguised in a bald cap and fake moustache, taking the microphone to grill NBC executives during a press session.

5) Hearing Wipeout host John Henson joke about hitting on co-host Jill Wagner so much, you wondered if he was really joking.

Lessons learned from the TV Critics press tour

The Lambourghinis and Mercedes have rolled away. The paparazzi have moved on to the hip new restaurants and rehab facilities. And Teri Hatcher has been packed back into her cryogenic stasis chamber.

Yes, the TV Critics Association’s summer press tour has completed another wild, informative run.

And while the blizzard of celebrity-fueled press conferences, network TV parties and soundstage set visits has come to an end, this critic rolled away from the Beverly Hilton Hotel after eight days on Tuesday with a few important lessons learned about the state of the TV business heading into the dog days of 2008.

Lesson #1: The writer’s strike fallout continues – Even though the walkout by the nation’s film and TV writers in ended in February, it continues to screw up the television industry by limiting the amount of new shows any network could cobble together for this fall.

The broadcast networks problems emerged during press tour, as every outlet struggled to articulate the plotlines and story arcs for new series put into production without filming an initial “pilot” episode – leaving executives (and critics) with little evidence whether these lofty ideas might actually produce watchable shows.

Lesson #2: Without new shows, old shows face more pressure – Several series have promised big changes in trying to “reboot” returning shows which need to regain audience’s attention after months in reruns or worse. ABC’s Desperate Housewives is moving five years into the future, while NBC’s Heroes is focusing on a new cadre of villains and even Fox’s blockbuster American Idol is promising major changes.

“We’re all in this elevator – CSI, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives – and the elevator’s going down,” said Housewives creator and executive producer Mark Cherry. “As a result, we’re willing to do anything to keep our audience base…There’s intense pressure to come up with something that gets everyone’s attention.

Lesson #3: TV has pretty much accepted its lack of diversity – Time and again, the question emerged – Why are there no new shows starring a person of color this year? – and the answer was mostly a shrug with promises to do better. In a down economy, networks are more willing to hand new shows to British and Australian actors than anyone with a skin tone darker than a light tan.

First look: Promo for Tampa native JoAnna Garcia's new CW show, Privileged

Critics haven't yet seen a pilot episode from Tampa native JoAnna Garcia's new CW show about a Yale graduate roped into serving as tutor/keeper for a pair of rambunctious Paris Hiltons in the making, Privileged.

But the CW released a bunch of material from their new show on YouTube recently, including a promotional trailer for the program, set in Palm Beach. Check it out and judge for yourself whether the former Reba co-star has landed in a program worth her time and talent.

How to translate the total BS of Hollywood

After eight days, dozens of chicken dinners and countless conversations with airheaded celebrities, I'm winging my way east as the TV critics summer press tour winds to an end.

I'm actually stopping in Chicago for a week to check out the UNITY convention uniting journalism organizations representing black, Hispanic, Asian American and Native American people. But before I step on the plane, I can't help reflecting on the worst element of this particular cavalcade of star interviews, press conferences and hip-ified parties.

The total BS that comes out of everyone's mouth. Constantly.

Few people say what they really mean at a press conference for 200 journalists blogging in real time -- thank you Drew Carey and Dick Smothers! -- so you often have to decode what people are really saying out here.

Here's a little guide to dissecting all those innocuous quotes in press tour stories on my blog and elsewhere.

Actor says: "What drew me to this project was the script."

Actor means: "What drew me to this project was the paycheck. And the fact that I only have to work about three days a week."

Actor says: "This is just the happiest set I've ever worked on. We all really love each other."

Actor means: "We just started working together, so we're on our best behavior. Just wait until we win a couple of Emmys and I start up my crystal meth habit."

Producer says: "(He/She) walked in, and we knew right way this was the person for the role."

Producer means: "All the other really good actors emigrating from England were taken."

Producer says: "We just cast the best people for the role, and wound up with an all-white cast."

Producer means: "We just cast the best people we thought other white people might want to watch. And the just happened to be white!"

Network executive says: We love (insert name of troubled performer here), and can't wait to work with them again.

Network executive means: "It will be a cold day in the hell that is my existence when I ever return this egomaniac's telephone calls. Unless, of course, they land another hit movie."

Network executive says: "We love you critics; we wouldn't have successful shows without you."

Network executive means: "Our technology division is working out a Microsoft program which will write out a review 30 second after the episode airs. I'm betting you have about six months left in your job."

Jay Leno rips off Jimmy Kimmel

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. -- If, as the old joke goes, imitation is the sincerest form of television, then NBC emerged as the most sincere network around while addressing TV critics here on today.

Last week, ABC late night host Jimmy Kimmel posed as a reporter during a press conference to show he wasn’t estranged from the network as rumors swirled that NBC host Jay Leno might land there when his contract expires in December 2009.

So when a bearded, bald guy took the microphone during a press conference with NBC executives here at the TV Critics Association’s summer press tour, it didn’t take many questions before real reporters figured out what was going on.

“Do you think what Jimmy Kimmel did…was kind of cheesy, coming (here) in disguise?” asked Leno, drawing laughs. “I know Leno got an Emmy nomination for his website garage but not for the Tonight Show, do you think people liked him better as a mechanic than as a talk show host?...(And) is it true you offered him a fifth hour of Today?”

But the prank didn’t shake the perception that NBC has a serious late night problem brewing (especially since Leno didn’t stick around to take questions). NBC announced Monday that Leno’s last show is Friday, May 29, 2009, and Conan O’Brien will take over the 11:30 p.m. timeslot the following Monday, June 1.

Since Saturday Night Live veteran Jimmy Fallon will take O’Brien’s timeslot - debuting online this fall, six months early, in a special 12:30 p.m. Web cast - the open question left is, where does Leno land? Particularly since Leno’s ratings have risen recently as O’Brien’s ratings have fallen.

Critics say Leno's recent actions, joking about a possible move to ABC on his show and telling USA Today he was done with NBC last week, shows that the network has pretty much thrown their longtime late night host under the bus in search of the younger ratings expected from O'Brien and Fallon. Leno may be playing nice now, because he's still under contract for 18 months.

“The point for you guys to take away is that we have a great relationship with Jay Leno,” said Ben Silverman, NBC entertainment chief, noting that the network has been criticized in the past for losing David letterman, Bryant Gumbel, Katie Couric and Tom Brokaw, only to see each of their replacements excel.

“(Leno’s) really good at what he does and is going to want to continue doing what he does,” said Silverman, adding that Leno felt a USA Today story last week which quoted him saying “I am definitely done - with NBC,” took his quote out of context. “He’s focused on what he’s doing today.”

The tough question left for NBC: What if Leno wants to keep doing what he does today -- namely, host the Tonight Show?

NBC also confused critics by announcing that Saturday Night Live veteran Amy Poehler will star in a prime time series for NBC debuting in March, developed by the executive producers of the network’s comedy, The Office. But it won't be an Office spinoff.

Details on how this will all work, which NBC suits were reluctant to divulge because they don't want to snark off the Office producers, didn't make much sense -- especially since the network is also developing an Office spin-off. The actresses’ pregnancy – she’s expected to have her baby in October or November – complicated plans for the project, keeping NBC from airing the first episode after the Super Bowl, and resulting in Poehler staying on SNL until she has her baby.

Silverman said he hopes to develop a crew of producers and actors from the Office to fill other shows, much in the same way creator Lorne Michaels has developed a crew of actors to top film and TV projects from the SNL cast.

Drew Carey feeling left out at 'Price is Right'

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. -- Don’t bother asking new Price is Right host Drew Carey about the recent firing of the show’s longtime executive producer Roger Dobkowitz after 36 years, or rumors that network executives are planning an extensive overhaul of the program’s look.

Because, according to Carey, he’s just about the last person to know anything that happens on the venerated CBS game show.

“I get totally left out of any discussions – I didn’t find out about Roger until the night before,” said Carey Friday at a party for TV critics here held by CBS.

“When you want to know about what happened on a show, how are they changing things, what are they going to do – I’m the last person they tell,” he added, sounding a little dejected; Carey thinks news of Dobkowitz firing circulated widely because it happened over July 4 weekend just before a long hiatus for the show when no one could comment. “I just show up and they push me onstage.”

CBS Entertainment head Nina Tassler denied the network planned any extensive changes beyond putting a “fresh coat of paint” on the production with upgraded elements to the set and some new dollar amounts in some games.

“When Drew started this year, the refurbishment was already done,” she said, noting of the producer’s departure. “We were finding a way to bring in somebody who might be more Drew’s guy.”

Which was news to Carey, who said he got along with his producer and was surprised by the move. Carey also noted that the recent version of the nighttime Price Is Right Million-Dollar Spectacular he hosted made insurance executives nervous, handing out $3-million over the first four tapings.

“They wanted to put as much pressure on the contestant and make it as difficult as possible so they don’t have to give away a million dollars,” Carey said. “I think it’s going to be harder to win a million bucks – because that $3-million in four shows, scared the heck out of them. That’s a whole lot of money. We had to jump through some hoops just to get insurance for the next round of tapings.”

The comic also lamented lacking the time or energy to pull together a full-fledged return to standup comedy – mostly because the money is so good.

“Larry the Cable Guy, in 2006 according to the Wall Street Journal, made $21-million,” he said. “Find a person on TV making $21-million a year. Can you imagine how much money Chris Rock is making playing the Staples Center (in Los Angeles)? You can’t make that money making movies – unless you’re Will Smith, and they already got a Will Smith.”

Carey’s other problem: his life is going too well. “(Stand up comedy) is harder to do when you’re not desperate for laughs -- like I used to be. That’s the kind of thing where you really have to be hungry to do it well, and if I do it, I really want to do it well.”

SNL creator has no problem making fun of Obama

  BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. -- After tussling with conservative radio host Blanquita Cullum on CNN this morning over the issue of why some humorists think they can't make fun of Barack Obama, I decided to make sure today to ask the master:

So, Saturday Night Live creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels, why are other people finding it so hard to lampoon the Democratic candidate?

"He's still defining himself and he's primarily cast as heroic," Michaels said. "But sooner or later, everyone does something to irritate us. He becomes more and more familiar...you sort of find what the take is, and everyone agrees with it. In the summer of 2004, the May shows, Darryl (Hammond) did Al Gore twice on Weekend Update at dress (rehearsal), and neither time it worked, and he'd already been vice president for seven years. It took the fall, when everyone was paying attention, for people to get clear on where they were prepared to laugh." 

"I think that Obama can't be mocked until somebody finds a way in," he added. "As a sketch thing, it only works if everyone laughs. The only way everyone laughs is if it seems right...You can't preach to people about this stuff. It only works if everybody goes 'Absolutely -- that's exactly what I was thinking.' We give voice to that. It doesn't mean we're partisan in any way, we just give voice to that."

Michaels faced TV critics here Sunday with the cast from SNL to talk about a wide range of stuff: NBC will make two more live SNLs than last season, 22 episodes total, and four new episodes straight out of the box; the network will also present SNL: Thursday Night Live, four half-hour episodes on Thursday in October centered on the election; Michaels will be helping Jimmy Fallon prepare his new 12:30 p.m. late night show, expected to take Conan O'Brien's slot in 2009; he also will be helping O'Brien move to Los Angeles and take over the Tonight Show next year; he'll be helping out with 30 Rock as a producer.

  And, oh yeah, he'll have to deal with SNL's utility player, Amy Poehler, having a baby later this year -- "hopefully, after the elections," Michaels quipped of Poehler, who plays Hillary Clinton -- and hiring two new cast members for the 33-year-old variety show.

"A lot of comedy people are like procrastinators who hate failure," said head writer and Weekend Update co-anchor Seth Meyers. "So, when they have to actually do a show, they all come together -- I'm not worried."

It's a interesting sight: After enduring inevitable talk last year that the show might again be on the decline, Michaels has spread his unique brand of SNL-forged humor across the showbiz landscape -- from 30 Rock star Tina Fey's successful movie Baby Mama, to Michael's dominance of NBC's late night plans. (he said Fallon, for example, will debut Webisodes online in the fall five or six months before his actual show debuts).

But one thing Michaels wouldn't dish much on: How he feels about the fact that NBC made a deal to center their late night lineup on his proteges O'Brien and Fallon, without finding a role for the guy currently winning the ratings war in late night, Jay Leno.

"I have so little to say on that," he said, smiling. "I only work there...One of the things that I learned from the first years of Conan, was how tough it is to find the show on the air. in 1975 with SNL, we were in a relatively obscure time period...we were able to stay experimental and keep finding it...Beginning (Fallon's) show online will give us a chance to find the show before it debuts."   

Tampa native Joanna Garcia: a veteran actress in kid's clothing

As an appropriately cynical TV opinionator, whenever I meet Tampa native Joanna Garcia, I'm always wondering in the back of my mind: Is she for real?

That's because, despite assembling a lengthy showbiz resume -- she starred in the old Nickelodeon series Are you Afraid of the Dark? back in 1994 -- Garcia seems as bubbly and enthusiastic as the day she started her first acting job, playing the role of Wendy in a Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center production of Peter Pan about 18 years ago.

This year may be the best year for her since snagging a co-starring role in the WB's long-running sitcom Reba in 2001. The 28-year-old is finally starring in her own series, Privileged, for the struggling CW network, playing a Yale graduate forced to care for a family's bratty rich kids in Palm Beach, Fla.

Considering some of the overnight success stories clogging Hollywood these days -- seems all you need to get a starring role in a network series these days is a work visa from England -- it's always surprised me that the Tampa Catholic High School grad didn't snag a series sooner, given her wide-eyed beauty, dedicated work ethic and CW-network-ready youthful look.

I spent some hanging with Garcia on the set of her new show last week -- where the show's crew has recreated the interiors of a glitzy, Trump-style mansion with surprising detail. I expect to cobble together a story based on my day there soon; Garcia proved an engaging, earnest subject, tackling everything from her romance with fiancee and longtime Justin Timberlake partner Trace Ayala to questions about why she dyed her signature blonde tresses auburn (it signifies a life change for her character in the pilot).

She may need that positive attitude soon: producers have been working hard to turn a 20-minute presentation filmed for the network into a full-fledged hourlong episode, bringing along movie veteran Anne Archer as the mother who hires Garcia's Megan Smith, crafting a comedy striving to bridge the gap between teens and young adults.   

“The one thing that’s kept me upbeat about my career, is that I’ve always made choices based on the material,” said Garcia, now starring in a comedy series producers defined as “the Gilmore Girls teaching the Gossip Girls.” “I feel really proud of everything I’ve done, because I never did anything for the money.” 

Hanks, Fey, Giamatti shine at the TV Critics' awards

More than once during the Television Critics Association awards ceremony last night, this thought came to mind:

THIS is why I love my job.

The TCA offers a unique take on awards ceremonies, held on the last Saturday night of press tour every year to celebrate the best the small screen has to offer. Because we want our honorees to show up, we tell them in advance who has won, and each year most every award winner does come to the Beverly Hilton Hotel for their glass plaque.

We have a no-muss ceremony, with a short intro from a TCA member for each award and a short -- usually very entertaining -- acceptance speech from the winner. And because it isn't televised, the onstage moments can offer wondrously off-the-wall magic.

Like John Adams star Paul Giamatti repeatedly referring to his part in HBO's grand seven-part epic as a "nutbuster." Several times. Or 30 Rock creator/star Tina Fey dishing on her love for Bosom Buddies (of course, Tom Hanks was in the house), relating how "the rest of our cast could not be here, because NBC is broke," and admitting how co-star Jack McBrayer "is actually a child...made up to look like a 30-year-old hillbilly."

Hanks, in accepting John Adams' TCA award for best movie and miniseries as a producer, noted that one objective of the project was "to show a president of the United States and his first lady, doing the deed in bed...We have achieved that goal." Hanks also gave a shout out to his award-winning star noting "(he) will show you his busted nuts...thank God this isn't on TV."

The night started with an amazing tribute to the Smothers Brothers, who stopped by to fill the show's traditional opening monologue (in the past, ably filled by comics such as Drew Carey and Garry Shandling), recounting how their songs and skits criticizing the Vietnam War got them fired from CBS, despite the fact they were earning serious ratings against TV's most popular show, the long-running Bonanza.

Dick and Tom Smothers showed clips from their series, which has taken on iconic status for critics,  revealing a pre-gray haired Steve Martin (a writer/performer on the show), early TV appearances by The Who and the Doors, an anti-war talk from Beatle George Harrison and an appearance from a brown-haired, Grizzly Adams-looking Kenny Rogers.

The biggest perk for critics: after the show, the celebs often mingle with us ink stained wretches. So I caught up with Dick Smothers, who owns a home in Siesta Key, and asked whether this war with this president feels reminiscent of the Vietnam War with the president who may have gotten them fired, Dick Nixon.

"Oh yes, but this is on steroids and crack...out of control," said Smothers. "I really think we should have a government where, if we lose confidence in them, we vote them out -- just like they do in France or England. The government should fear the people..they're our servants. But we fear the government."

The pair expect to soon see a DVD released of their legendary show, starting with the third and most controversial season "because that was the most funny," he said. "I think we get too much credit. we were in the chain of evolution...What we did is give the variety show a boost. CBS figured we were going to die anyway, so they gave us creative control. But we didn't like having an innocuous show, we wanted our show to be socially relevant...(After us) came Laugh In and Carol Burnett...suddenly, variety shows were hot, because TV loves to copy a hit."

Why a DVD set now? "We wanted to put it out before everyone who saw the show was dead," Smothers cracked.

Click below to see the 2008 TCA Award recipients:

Brenda Lives! Shannen Doherty joining '90210'

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. -- It’s a typically twisted showbiz irony: When the cast and creators from one of the most-anticipated new fall shows came to face the press, Topic A was the one person who wasn’t in the room.

Still, producers of the CW network’s new 90210 couldn’t wait to drop their big news Saturday to a roomful of TV critics: Shannen Doherty, the buzzed-about, troubled former star of Beverly Hills 90210, has agreed to join the cast of their 21st century reboot.

Doherty joins original 90210 alums Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth in the new show, playing a grown-up Brenda Walsh as a successful theater actress who returns to her old alma mater to direct a musical production.

But 90210 star Lori Loughlin, who was toiling away in the cast of the classic sitcom Full House when the first edition of 90210 was redefining television, urged critics to keep in mind that returning stars such as Doherty, Spelling and Garth won’t be the core of the revamped series. 

“It will be a new show…we certainly don’t want people tuning in, thinking they’re going to see Luke Perry and Jason Priestly and Brain Austin Green, because they’re not,” said Loughlin, who plays the mother in a couple moving their kids to Beverly Hills from Kansas to care for her mother-in-law, a faded TV star-turned-alcoholic.

“It is a new group of kids at West Beverly High, with new teenagers and new issues,” she said. “Kids are exposed to a little bit more at an earlier age. Stuff that we were dealing with in college, maybe they’re dealing with in high school. They want to show this new world of teenagers today.”

Critics here noted that the first 90210 was a groundbreaking show, which centered on a glamorous collection of teenage characters at a time when few show paid attention to that age group. The new edition hopes to draw in both fans of the old show and curious youngsters, featuring classic characters grown up and a re-imagining the show’s old diner hangout, The Peach Pit, as a cool coffeehouse with an upstairs club.

Critics also noted this is the series which could save the flagging CW: a buzzed-about production which might actually draw a wide spectrum of viewers. “It’s huge pressure…but you just have to do your job," said executive producer Gabe Sachs. "The network and the studio, they’re concerned about every little part of this, because this is a big deal to them. Gone are the days when a network says 'Hey creative people -- here's a pile of money, go make your TV show.'

Sachs and his partner Jeff Judah hope to bring the same subversive spirit which made past shows they’ve written – Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared and Just Shoot Me – critical favorites. They also hoped to retain their reputation for keeping a tension-free workspace, despite the addition of Doherty, who left the first 90210 and her later series Charmed, amid rumors of sharp disagreements with producers and co-workers on both shows.

Speaking to reports after the session today, Sachs downplayed any notions of Doherty as a trouble maker -- though her offscreen antics years ago were legendary, from getting arrested for assault in the '90s to a DUI charge in 2001. He said someone from her camp called him as news of the reboot was circulating Hollywood, and they eventually agreed to meet at a restaurant to feel each other out.

“I couldn’t judge her, I’d just heard these stories about her…but we brainstormed on ideas and she was so excited,” said Sachs of Doherty. “We’re including her, and I think maybe her (previous) experience was very different.”