Three cheers for family restrooms!
The owners of the new Grove 16 Theatres in Wesley Chapel took members of the media on a tour recently to give us a peek at the cinema set to open later this month. While all the other reporters were understandably going ga-ga over the restaurant and bar, this Momma saw something even more exciting: family restrooms.
My fellow reporters may have wondered why I was so interested in seeing those restrooms and even mentioned them in a recent story. Well, I have a 2-year-old male reason why. Someday, I want to be able to take my son to a movie without his dad having to tag along.
It's okay to take a 3-year-old with you to the ladies' room, but one day those of us with sons will have to deal with a 5-year-old wanting to use the men's room. If dad's not around, the only way to do that is to let him go alone. Yet all kinds of creepy things cross my mind. What happens if there's a weirdo in there? I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened. Yet I know there will be times when he can't be required to "hold it" until we get home. What do you do when you feel have to choose between gender identity and child safety?
A family restroom is the perfect solution. Because it's just one room, you can give it the once over before letting junior go in alone. They also also give dads peace of mind during father-daughther outings. Years ago before family restrooms existed, I was in a store and saw a little girl with her father. She was desperately doing the "pee-pee dance." He just looked around desperately. Feeling sorry for both, I offered to accompany her to the ladies' room. I was a stranger, but I guess I looked trusthworthy. In a few minutes, his daughter emerged in a better mood.
So yes, bars and plush leather seats and Cinebistros are great on a date, but being a Momma gives this reporter a whole new perspective. Here's to family restrooms.
-- Lisa Buie, Times mom
Sharon Kennedy Wynne has sunscreen in her blood. She may have been born in Buffalo but she got here as fast as she could, in time for kindergarten. She grew up in St. Petersburg, graduated from the University of Florida journalism school, and even got married at Sunken Gardens. She's one of the few adults we know who actually loves taking her kids to the beach. She has two sons and with 10 years of parenting under her belt, she's starting to feel a little less out of her league. She comes from a large family and loves to debate, so brace yourself when the hot topics come up.
Amy Hollyfield is a workaholic mother of two young
daughters, blessed to have a work-at-home husband who makes their life possible. She was born in Detroit and moved around a lot as a kid (read: Air Force brat). She has lived in Florida since the month after she
graduated from Northwestern University. She lives for the yelps, hugs and kisses that greet her on nights that she makes it home before bedtime.
Sherry Robinson was born in the Sunshine State but she feels more comfortable inside a mall than outside at the beach -- thank goodness her husband is the outdoorsy type. He takes their two sons on night hikes, beach runs and bug hunts while Sherry does her best to take care of the homestead -- and find out what is new on the store shelves. A graduate of the University of South Florida in 19noneofyourbusiness, Sherry has been at the Times for nearly 20 years. And with nearly 10 years of parenting experience, Sherry is eager to offer up some great dish on raising kids and keeping your sanity.
Guest blogger Tracey Henry, a.k.a. Suburban Diva, is a frantic, slightly frazzled mother of four. She is a freelance humor writer and author which is the only thing that parenting four children ages 12-1 trains you for, except perhaps court jester and professional bull rider. She and her husband have lived all over the country, but settled in Florida eight years ago because the beachcombing is so much better here than on the banks of the Mississippi. Their family time includes a lot of sport -- both watching and playing -- and fun in the sun and surf. Catch her in Whoa, Momma! and on her site, 
Sherri Day and her husband welcomed their daughter into the world in early 2008. So far, she describes parenthood as exciting, exhausting and exhilarating. A self-described Southern belle with small-town values and big-city idealism, Sherri was born in rural Georgia. She received her bachelor's degree in journalism from Clark Atlanta University and her master's of journalism from the University of California at Berkeley. She is the Brandon bureau chief for the Times. Sherri moved to Tampa from Brooklyn four years ago.
Really worried about a 5 year old using the men's room alone? When was the last time you heard of a little boy getting waylaid in a men's room? How many little girls do you know who were molested in the ladies room? About the same number huh?
How come women can be trusted with kids but not men?
Grow up a bit and start to be a bit more trusting, or do you just hate men?
Posted by: stewart | December 30, 2008 at 10:52 AM
I have only objected to children who misbehave in the restroom-whether they are boys or girls. I've seen little ones with or without their parents making a mess and bothering people. I see a real need for family restrooms for daddy-daughter outings, due to the open urinals in most mens' rooms. That has to be embarrassing for all involved. Are girls any safer going to the ladies' room alone than boys going to the mens' room alone? Doubt it.
Posted by: rg | November 25, 2008 at 08:43 AM
Definitely something that would help a lot of parents with younger children. Thanks for bringing it up.
Posted by: David | September 16, 2008 at 06:10 PM
I think the age you let them go to the restroom alone depends on the kid. For me it was school age and after we'd had talks about safety and how to behave. I've never had a woman even raise an eyebrow over a 5 yr old being in the restroom.
But as he got older, and after many safety talks, I stood sentry outside the door and let him go. It's much better, IMO, to teach a child how to be safe than to hover constantly. It sends the message that you don't think they have ability to spot a good stranger vs. a bad stranger and can't grow to be an independent person. Our community is actually a much safer place than our paranoia lets us believe. If you equip your kids for the situation, they will be fine.
Posted by: Sharon | September 16, 2008 at 08:33 AM
There are solutions to your son not wanting to use the women's restroom when he gets older:
1. At what age do you suspect he'll start not wanting to use women's restrooms? Before that happens, explain (educate him) why you don't want him to use the men's room alone. Give him a time of passage..."when you're a little older, you'll be able to use the men's room safely, just not right now".
2. If choice is an option, give him a choice. Explain why you don't want him to go into the men's room alone. Then, ask him if he chooses to (a) go with you now to the event and use the women's room or (b) wait until his father can go with you to the event so he can use the men's room.
You're the parent. For the safety of your child, sometimes you just have to put your foot down.
Maybe other people can think of other solutions.
Posted by: Kimberly | September 15, 2008 at 09:32 PM
It's not his manners I'm worried about.I'll take care of that. I'm just worried that he wouldn't want to use a women's restroom once he gets older but yet is too young for me to feel comfortable letting him use the men's room alone.
Posted by: Lisa Buie, Times staff writer | September 15, 2008 at 09:47 AM
A few years ago, I came out of the stall in a women's restroom. There was a mother with her son who looked to be maybe 11-years-old.
She was a little embarrassed and mentioned that she was concerned that he was getting older but she didn't feel comfortable sending him alone into the men's room. I assured her I understood and felt just fine about it.
She had done such a good job of teaching her son to have good manners that it was absolutely no problem. He wasn't running around, looking under stalls, staring at the doors that had women behind them, etc. His behavior didn't make me feel in the least that my privacy was invaded.
Talk to your sons about their behavior and require good behavior, and you won't find any of us complaining when you bring them into the women's room.
Posted by: Kimberly | September 13, 2008 at 05:59 PM
another reason we love disney! they have an abundance of family restrooms.
Posted by: Heidi | September 13, 2008 at 03:35 PM