Pasties for Preschoolers

We must put an end to sexy clothes for children! Sing it, Sister!

Young girls are constantly inundated with social messages that concentrate too much on their looks! Preach on!

Let’s combat this social injustice by putting our infants in nipple-tasseled onesies! Ame--WTH?

Clothing designer Suzi Warren said in a recent ParentDish article that her nipple-tassel shirts and “C is for Condom” tees are actually a protest against sexually inappropriate clothing for children.

"There is nothing very sexy about a baggy, lap neck, long sleeved t- shirt for a 6-month-old. So by embellishing this style of garment with printed nipple tassels, the result is not that the baby becomes sexualized by the tassels, but that the tassels are made benign and silly by the baby. In fact the more inert, innocent and unaware the infant is, the more ludicrous the contrast becomes."

Um, okay?

"The trap set to ensnare girls into a life-time of preoccupation with their looks is a subtle one. My garments are not part of this trap because they are about a subtle as a blinking brick and are aimed at parents of children too young to read or speak.”

I am all for a revolt on the short shorts and tube tops for preschoolers, but I’m not quite sure if putting my infant in nipple tassels is the most effective way to show my support for this particular protest. I realize real change has to start somewhere, but I’m not sure birth is the place to announce, “I’ve Done F**k All Day.“ While I’m irony’s biggest fan, there’s just too many w’s in the Ewww factor of this fashion statement.

 Which is considerably better than too many X’s, because according to Twisted Twee's, X is for X-rated.

Tracey Henry, Suburban Diva

[Twisted Twee's tassel T-shirt]

Obama blasted for wearing "mom jeans" to throw out first pitch at All-Star game

That's right, President Obama is being accused of wearing the kind of high-rising, no-styling, big bottom-loving jeans that were mocked in this Saturday Night Live skit a few years back:

The last person to be ridiculed this much for a jeans choice was Jessica Simpson after she gained a few pounds. I think Obama's jeans seem a little old-fashioned in their acid-washed crispness. I mean, who irons a crease in jeans?

I just wish that they wouldn't refer to these as mom jeans, especially since I don't know any moms who would wear them. How about poorly fitting, poorly tailored, you can do better jeans? Mommas, do you wear those jeans?

-- Sherry Robinson

(Diaper) Bag lady

I have always been averse to carrying a lot of stuff. Even as a student I would cringe at the thought of carrying a huge book bag and lunch box and whatever else was needed for school that day. Couldn’t I just have two sets of books? Leave one at school and one at my house? Yes, I’ve always been a little bit excessive.
So it’s no wonder that as a new mom I despise the thought of carrying all the crap that is needed when traveling around with an infant. There’s the diaper bag, the bottle cooler and, heaven forbid if you’re taking a day trip, blankets, extra change of clothes, a ton of diapers. You get the point.

So when it comes to diaper bags, I am very much about combining the diaper bag and purse. Sounds complicated, but it’s really not. And lately I’ve been peeping a lot of great styles that do just that.

Recently I purchased this cute little number. It’s a great spring bag and has two divided compartments inside. One side is big enough for a couple diapers, change of clothes, wipes and a bottle. The other side is devoted to my personal items: wallet, lipstick and cell phone.

Here are a few other options that I think are perfect for the diaper bag/purse combo.

Jessica Simpson black patent tote, $104.99, bottom right. The width is good for bottles and the patent is easy to clean.

O’Neill Prairie Bag, $52, left. A great summer option. Great size, but much more stylish than your average diaper bag.

-- Nicole Hutcheson, Rookie Momma

Rebecca Romijn: Quote of the Day

“I’m a jeans size up from where I usually am, but there’s nothing about it that freaks me out. I feel as sexy as I have ever felt. I’ve always said that sexy is having a really strong sense of yourself and never taking yourself too seriously.”

-- Rebecca Romijn, actress and model, who had twin girls just four months ago, in the June issue of InStyle magazine

Making maternity wear stretch

A few Sundays ago my hubby and I had finally gotten enough courage to take our little one to church service and I didn’t have a dress that fit. All of my pre-pregnancy clothes were still a little snug and my maternity dresses were too roomy.

Why couldn’t my cute maternity clothes just shrink to fit my new post-baby body or my former wardrobe expand a few inches?

Faced with this problem, I did what any fashionista mommy would do -- I improvised. I chose a maternity slip dress that I swore by during my pregnancy and paired it with a skinny belt. The silhouette was classy and I was comfortable.

And it got me thinking about how many Mommas are faced with the same problem. You invest in great maternity clothes and then voila -- baby is born and you can’t wear them anymore. But your old clothes aren’t quite cutting it. And of course, this comes at a time when you can be faced with a bit of a financial crisis. 

One shopping trip later and I’m now able to get some more tick out of a few maternity pieces. Here’s what I found:

1.     Wide belt – the perfect accessory to make all those blousy maternity dresses look pulled together.

2.     Shrunken jacket – Play with proportions  by pairing a roomy maternity dress with a tight jacket.

3.     Short shorts – There’s something very chic about a blousy peasant top (or maternity top) and some tiny shorts.

4.     A good tailor – For those maternity investment pieces. I shelled out big bucks for a special occasion dress during my pregnancy and am not about to wait until my next pregnancy to wear it again.

-- Nicole Hutcheson, new Times Mom

Boys still wear undershirts?

Maybe it's because I grew up with all sisters but I thought undershirts went out of style years ago. And since we live in a relatively hot climate here in Florida (I mean, good gravy, the highs are nearly 80 in JANUARY), it never occurred to me to dress my kids in undershirts because it seems too hot.

Well, my 10 year old informed my of my cluelessness. If even the nerdiest kids at school and the neighborhood wear undershirts, why didn't he have any? Having never been an adolescent boy, I guess I must be missing something.

I had always thought Clark Gable killed the undershirt industry. A co-worker tells me it may be the football jersey (which is what my dear son was wearing the day of my prosecution for cluelessness). Wearing a T-shirt under a meshy shirt like that makes it more comfortable. So I may need to quiz the mini fashinistas on whether they wear them all the time or just with replica football jerseys, which are the THE fashion staple of fifth grade these days.

On the fashion pages, there has been some lamenting that the sight of T-shirts popping up from a man's outfit is the male equivalent of visible panty lines. But the dudes aren't listening. Turns out, the guys think they look cool. How do they know? Because Matt Damon, the Sexiest Man Alive in 2007 clearly has some T-peepage leaking out at the neck here on the cover photo.

Now I find out that what I call a wife-beater shirt is the height of fashion. Ugh! I blame K-Fed.

This is just the first of many blunders I think I am going to make coming from a family of all women and now surrounded by boys. It just never occurred to me to even buy them because, well, girls don't.

-- Sharon Kennedy Wynne

What I miss most? Doing my daughters' hair

Of course I miss my girls, and of course I miss my husband. Working out of town for two months has its challenges.

But of all the daily, little things, my heart aches to do my daughters' hair. To brush it repeatedly and talk about what's coming up that day. To create a style of ponytails or braids or some other negotiated look. To pick the matching ribbon or barrette or other accessory that puts the punch in an outfit.

No offense to my husband, but his skills max out at ponytails. And, not entirely perfect ones, either. I pride myself on neat, cool styles. The side braid; the top/bottom ponytails; the THREE-ponytail style. I may be guilty of uneven pigtails. But usually, my girls walk out with a tight hairstyle, strong enough to hold at least until recess.

And it's not just missing the experience. It's wondering what they look like without me! Is my little one walking around with wild, uncombed hair? Is my 8-year-old conning her dad into letting her go au naturel, sans brushing?!

At least, I'm home on weekends. Judge me on the Saturdays and Sundays!

-- Amy Hollyfield

Swimsuit Season!?! Already?!?!?

I looked at the calendar recently and realized that although summer was still a ways off, it was time to make reservations for our annual beach vacation.

Then I consulted my caloric calendar, and realized, “OMG! I just booked a vacation at a beach! Bathing suit season is only a few weeks away! That is right around the corner!”

Those of you with y-chromosomes are doing the math and calculating that sixteen weeks is plenty of time to tone up for summer in a healthy, responsible manner. I say to you, "Pardon me, Sir, but you are an idiot." Women know that it just doesn’t work that way.

My sisters will no doubt understand that the collective damage on one’s thighs after a season of turkey, Christmas cookies, Super Bowl guacamole, Valentine’s Day chocolates and Mardi Gras libations will not disappear in mere months under normal circumstances. If I was planning to fit into my 2012 Inauguration gown, I may have time if I started now, but the upcoming swimsuit season? You have got to be kidding.

No, we’re past the point of healthy weight loss measures -- we are in full-blown panic mode. No over the counter pansy remedies -- it would be like taking a baby aspirin after open-heart surgery or popping a Sudafed to ward off the Black Plague. Underpowered and ineffective in the face of a Fat Tuesday paczki.

We can no longer rely on anything FDA approved. Perhaps MLB ignored, but not FDA approved. We need products with outrageous claims sold only on late-night infomercials or in Google text ads.

It’s crunch time, and by “crunch” I don’t refer to a delicious candy bar, but rather a half of a rice cake sprinkled with Hoodia. We need a particularly aggressive case of food poisoning immediately followed by a 2400-hour stomach virus.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. The next victims of the recession have to be the ice cream sandwich and lard industries. We’re talking Sara Lee and Chester Cheeto convicted in a Ponzi scheme. We need Toll House to be foreclosed upon. The Dow needs to close below eight. Size eight.

Okay, maybe I’m talking crazy (Fen-phen will do that to you). I have plenty of time to go legit. No fad diets -- three and a half months is more than sufficient to eat right, drink lots of water and exercise regularly.

And it also leaves just enough time for standard shipping rates from some of those misspelled Canadian pharmacies in my spam folder….

-- Tracey Henry, Suburban Diva

[Photos.com]

No sexy look for my tween

Fishnet stockings. Check. High-heel shoes. Check. Body-hugging, skin-showing outfit. Check.

From the looks of it, that’s what my 8-year-old is supposed to be wearing this Halloween. Thank goodness her heart was set on being Hermione from the Harry Potter series. She of the long robe and sensible shoes! Sure honey, whatever you want!

But I couldn’t help but notice the other options:

• A B. Witched child costume, with uber short metallic black baby doll dress, paired with striped knee high socks and sexy heels.

• A Dark Angel child costume, with black lace dress, fishnet gloves and sheer leggings. And check out the look on the model’s face. Tell me that’s a child’s costume.

• Same goes for Devil Grrl and her red leather-like dress, horns, wings and pitchfork.

Now there are plenty of great options that don’t look like I’m prepping my daughter for a sex kitten contest, but I’m embarrassed that some of these costumes are even available. Because if my daughter had not just read all seven Harry Potter books, she might have been trying to be the Dark Angel. Not that I would let her.

It just makes me wonder how low we’re going to go. Newsweek had a great article recently about the pornification of our children, and I have to admit I see it. Not that my daughter understands any of that, but the ease with which certain images are introduced to our kids is desensitizing her at this young age.

I’ll do my best to protect her. Starting with her no-skin-showing Halloween costume.

-- Amy Hollyfield

High heels for babies? They can't even walk

I'm not sure you have to say much about these crib shoes from Heelarious once you see the pictures. They are, without a doubt, the best gift for a diva mom whose little girl will indeed be a diva. The soft shoe, for infants 0-6 months, has a collapsible "heel'' on the bottom. I love the pink patent leather heels but I think my favorites are the leopard.

When you see these you think of Kimora Lee Simmons, Beyonce (once she has kids) and Victoria Beckham.

Sure, the old fogeys and fashion police will say this is a bad idea -- that it makes girls, no matter how young, want to strain their foot into stiletto heels. But I think it is just a funny gag gift -- albeit an expensive one at $35 a pop. Best silly baby item since the socks that look like Mary Janes.

Have fun divas! Don't let the haters get you down.

-- Sherry Robinson