When will the nightmare end?

Anyone who doubts the nightmare these last few weeks of school are for parents need only to consult their last nightmare of the nocturnal variety. 

I think it is a definite sign of something significant that at my advanced age and corresponding number of years out of school, that I’m still having dreams of forgetting to show up for a final exam or having to repeat middle school because I’ve missed some rogue pre-requisite null and voiding every life experience thereafter.

I think these nightmares intensify during these waning weeks of our children’s school because we as parents are more or less responsible for making sure our kids don’t live out these horrific scenarios in real life. This particular stress factor must be so ingrained in our subconscious that it doesn’t manifest itself until we’re the ones doing the actual scheduling, procuring of supplies, and signing of the report cards.

Depending on the age of your student, there are last-minute projects and book reports. There are final exams. There are banquets, plays, dances and meetings. With this flurry of academic (and not) activity, something is bound to get lost in the shuffle.

I’ve already misplaced the outline to the final book report due. I’ve been shopping at 10 p.m. on a Sunday for a tri-board for the last social studies project. I’ve turned in a permission slip to a field trip that was already cancelled from the Swine flu pandemic that panned.

And there is still another three weeks to go.

At this rate, by that last Monday I won’t be surprised if they really do show up to class in just their underwear simply because I’ve forgotten to do laundry.

It makes me wonder who is really dreaming (or trying to anyway) of summer vacation more -- them or me?

 Either way, please someone wake me when it’s over …

Tracey Henry, Suburban Diva

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When do your kids go to bed?

Do your kids have a set bed time? What do you do to get them there? 

My kids have a bedtime of 9 p.m. My husband does his fair share to help out. But still, we have Scout meetings and homework essays and clarinet practice to deal with.

Some nights, by the time we get teeth brushed, baths done, lunches made for the next day, bedtime books read and the lights out, we're closing in on 10 p.m.  And then one of the boys will invariably ask for a bedtime story, too, so they're awake even later.

I have friends who tell me their kids are in bed by 7:30 p.m. -- and I wonder, how do you DO that? (I sometimes wonder if they're exaggerating so that the rest of us would feel bad about letting our kids stay up to watch the new episodes of Phineas and Ferb.) The Obamas still make their kids go to bed at 8 p.m. -- no matter what.

This New York Times column says most kids need between 9 and 10 hours of sleep each night. We shoot for that, but it's really difficult.

I’d love to know how you Mommas do it. Do you have a bedtime routine? We have a routine but it just maybe starts later. Do you have any special techniques for getting your kids headed off to Dreamland at the right time? How do you summon the Sandman for them -- especially when you're feeling sleep-deprived yourself?

-- Sherry Robinson

Goodbye to Mom's best friend: Sleep

I knew this day would come. A dreadful day I've fought off for months. The day when my 3-year-old stops participating in the most glorious part of any day: her naptime.

The hour and a half every afternoon where wonderful things happen. Guilt-free time to nap myself! Alone time with my 8-year-old! A hassle-free opening for housework, bills or even quick errands! Hey, maybe lunch with a friend! (If my husband is home.) The possibilities are endless, each day different.

But, it's almost over. A couple of days a week, there is no naptime. No rest for the weary. No priceless chunk of free time.

I knew it wouldn't last. My older daughter quit napping almost as soon as she started preschool. But the younger one got my hopes up. It's nearly December of her first year of preschool and she was going strong until a couple of weeks ago.

Alas, it's goodbye nap. Loved having you in our lives. Don't be a stranger!

-- Amy Hollyfield

Sleep smackdown, part 2: The sleep deprivator

Why is it that the night before a big day at work, an early plane trip or other plans that really demand a good night's rest, your children won't allow it? It's like there's a voice inside them that says, "Tonight I need to wake up a couple of times to make sure Mommy and Daddy don't sleep well."

I've been burned by my 3-year-old waking up in the middle of the night and I've wrestled with her to stay in bed now that's she's out of her crib, but we've been on a roll of good sleeping lately. Moving into the big girl bed did help.

So the other night, when I went to bed knowing it was my last chance for good sleep for a few days, I had every hope that I would actually get it. And I so needed it. I've been sick for a week and I have some very long work days in front of me. Days when I'm sure to get only a few hours' sleep. To prepare, I went to bed at 9:30!

Still, it should have been no surprise at 2:50 a.m. when she screamed at me through the monitor. Nor at 4:50 a.m. when she did it again! The first time, it was like she woke up from a bad dream, so I just rubbed her back and tucked her in. The second time she said, "I never got my cuddle!" So I tucked her in and climbed in bed next to her. After a few minutes, I kissed her head and got up.

Maybe these tips on keeping your kid in bed can help. In the end, she knows how to melt my heart. As I walked away, I forgot about my lost sleep as she whispered, "Thank you, Mommy. I feel much better."

-- Amy Hollyfield

The sleep smackdown

"One more drink!" 

"My baby needs pajamas!"

"I need the light on!"

"I don’t want to sleep with the purple monkey!"

"You need to read another book!"

On and on she goes, and I know she is playing me. Now it doesn’t come all at once. It’s a demand here, a desire there. Each time it seems sort of reasonable and each time I sort of give in.

A few minutes later, there’s just one more thing she needs . . . .

I toy with saying no, and sometimes I do. But part of me takes over, the part that really wants her to go to sleep so that I can have peace and quiet and finally sit down and eat dinner and not have someone yelling in my ear because if I don’t experience quiet in the next few minutes, I’m going to lose my mind.

My heart is racing as I try at once to calm her and to keep her from running the show. I say goodnight one more time and retreat into the family room. There, I did it.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. “MOMMMMMMMMY!!!!!”

Ugh.

-- Amy Hollyfield

Momma's stressed -- hand me my purse please!

A couple of weeks ago our very own Suburban Diva said she missed the ice cream man. Maybe he hasn't gone out of business. Maybe, according to this New Yorker cartoon, he just found a more potent product that might appeal to stressed out parents. But what tune do you think he plays? Don Ho's "Tiny Bubbles", perhaps?

-- Sherry Robinson

P.S.: Apparently the ice cream man sometimes needs something a tad stronger than a Mega Missile too, according to this story in today's St. Petersburg Times.

Bedtime stories for both of us

Finally, my news junkie personality and my ability to recite every word of Goodnight Moon still to this day (all together now, "In the great green room, there was a red balloon and a picture of...")  is being challenged. The creators of Goodnight Bush, a countdown to Inauguration Day, have thrown down a challenge: Every Friday starting July 4 it will post a couplet based on the headlines written by readers. But it may be hard to beat "a quiet Dick Cheney whispering 'Hush' " with the vice president seated in a rocking chair wearing bunny slippers with a shotgun across his lap.

Celebrity author alert! Brooke Shields has joined the growing clubhouse of famous people who write children's books. This week she released "Welcome to Your World, Baby," the story of a new sister as told through the eyes of Shields' 5-year-old daughter, Rowan. Shields has said she recorded the darnedest things her daughter said from the moment she learned her mom was pregnant. "So basically she wrote the book."

While the tall drink of water and Princeton grad is no lightweight, the rosy welcome for the new baby is like a pink parfait of yumminess. Personally, I like the edgier and more honest thesis of the also newly released Mail Harry to the Moon about a brother who's fed up with the spit up and the wailing at night. Let's be honest, it's hard to go from the Lord of the Manor to the one who has to be quiet during nap time.

Sharon Kennedy Wynne