Journey to the Center of Princess Di's Mind

So, I'm sitting with Princess Di, looking at the garden I gave her because she went to Italy without me (long story, but I'm dealing with it).

For some reason we're discussing Journey to the Center of the Earth, which we saw last night in 3-D and apparently can't leave behind.

So, we started with the yo-yo that Brendan Fraser passes on to his snotty nephew because the kid brought it with a box of stuff that causes the movie. The kid lays down his PSP to try this quaint toy, and Fraser informs him that yo-yos were once used as weapons. The kid flicks it into the lens a few times to make wearing those nerdy 3-D glasses -- some tech geek's revenge for a locker-stuffing -- somewhat worthwhile.

"Where was the yo-yo scene," Princess Di asks, "when the kid uses the yo-yo to bonk the dinosaur, or something?"

Of course it isn't there. Neither is a follow-up scene to several things that get attention and don't mean anything later. The obligatory chick, who's a mountain guide by trade, mentions two energy bars she packed but nobody eats them and the kid eats some kind of prehistoric gruel when he's starving.

Di wants to know why she didn't get caught with crumbs on her lips, a lesson for two dudes who took dibs on her affections on first sight.

Then Di mentions the dinosaur, who apparently had roughage before dripping lime-green goo on the kid's head, while chasing him for a meal.

"What is this creature eating?  Guacamole?," Di says, with foolproof logic for an illogical movie ostensibly based on science.

"How does he know he'll like the kid's taste? No humans have been down there in centuries except the one who got away in the prologue, so how does he know they taste good?"

I won't even get into her comments about the vaginal-looking plants that are man-eaters (get it?) or the weird father-brother-son-daughter vibe throughout.

But that's why Di is the right side of my brain. And why I wish she could be available for discussions before deadline.