What's your fave suburban movie nightmare?

You'll never catch Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet raising their kids in the suburbs, judging by their movie choices over the past few years. He directed the Oscar winning American Beauty and now Revolutionary Road (opening Friday), two scathing indictments of picket-fence living. She stars in Revolutionary Road and two years ago played a similarly dissatisfied suburban housewife in Little Children.

Maybe they have a point. Sometimes the only things scarier than a home's devaluation are the next-door neighbors. Especially in movies where good and bad dreams come true.

Here's a partial list of neighborhood nightmares in the movies, ranked from mere irritations to flat-out terror. Any of these situations could make a homeowner plop a For Sale sign in the yard. Feel free to add your suggestions.

Revolutionary Road -Young marrieds (Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio) are smug about their life together when not loudly arguing about it. Good fences make good neighbors but this couple calls for a tall brick wall.

Neighbors - The couple next door to Earl Keese (John Belushi) are a freeloading boor (Dan Aykroyd) and his nymphomaniac wife (Cathy Moriarty). Oh well, you take the good with the bad.

In the Bedroom - Raising a teenage boy is tough enough. Sic the sexy neighbor (Marisa Tomei) on him, with her psycho ex-husband close behind and there will be blood.

Lakeview Terrace - "Look, hon, our new home is next door to a policeman, so we'll be safe. Uh, oh, he looks a lot like Samuel L. Jackson when he's mad."

American Beauty - Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) is a pot head in severely arrested development, his wife (Annette Bening) is having an affair, their daughter hangs around with the creepy son of an ex-Marine (Chris Cooper) next door who's a closeted gay with anger issues. Can't wait for the block party.

The 'Burbs - Nothing ruins a neighborhood faster than a cannibal cult moving in down the street. Unless it's the paranoid residents (Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern) believing that rumor is true. 

Little Children - It's Revolutionary Road with more happening including a pedophile (Jackie Earle Haley) trying to go straight, a gung-ho former cop harassing him, and hot laundry-room sex. Even a playground swing set gets stained by the luridness.

Disturbia -Being under house arrest is a bummer for Shia LaBeouf, especially with a serial killer living next door. Sure, the movie rips-off Rear Window but moving the voyeuristic, amateur detective to the suburbs is a smart update.

Poltergeist - I'll take my chances with killers and killjoys next door. But tell me that my subdivision is built on a cursed burial ground and I'm out of there. Lousy TV reception, too.

(Image from MGM/UA)

 

Comments

[TechRider]

Arlington Road. Jeff Bridges lives and dies in this suburban terrorist nightmare.

[Steve Persall]

Yes, I do know that, Cat. He paid $100,000 for it, probably 20 years ago now. I can't imagine what it would bring in today's market. Gene was a very nice guy who gave me a bit of advice that almost got my butt kicked once. But that's another blog post.

[Cat]

Ha! I was at that American Beauty Block Party, steered away from the brownies tho.

Unrelated John Travolta/Movie Critic Fact:

Did you know/remember/care? that the late, great Gene Siskel's FAVE MOVIE OF ALL TIME was SATURDAY NITE FEVER -- so much so that he even purchased the White Disco Suit at a charity auction? It's true. It came with a shirt that snapped under the crotch, so it would always stay neatly `tucked-in` during a vigorous nite of dancing. But Gene never even tried it on. I think wife Marlene still has it.