Playboy's 'The Drinking Man's Guide to Cinema'

Yes, I still read Hugh Hefner's magazine, even if his sexual revolution has been neutered over the years. I never felt the need to use the timid alibi: "... but only for the articles." Doing that would be like not carrying an umbrella when it rains. Come to think of it, I think the Playboy Advisor once used that analogy for some completely different situation that can't be described here.

But I digress.

This time, it is an article in Playboy that got my mouth watering. Right there on Pages 48 and 49 of this month's issue, a tribute to potent potables (thanks, Alex Trebek) in the movies: "The Drinking Man's Guide to Cinema." It almost makes me forgive the editors for that terrifying photo of Lisa Rinna and her artificially plumped air mattress lips on the cover. Somebody, please, lance those things.

I digress again.

The article lists eight types of booze with preparation tips matching the cocktail recipes used in famous movies. Just pick your poison -- gin, sake/wine, champagne, whiskey, tequila, party punch, beer or "anything and everything" -- and there's a movie and mix to accompany it.

Here's the short version for each. Enjoy, then get into the spirit and leave your own choices for the best movie booze.

Gin: Drink it watching The Thin Man, in which William Powell offers classic martini-shaking advice: "The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now, a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time. A dry martini you always shake to waltz time."

Vodka: My favorite call, especially since The Big Lebowski's White Russian is the suggested mix. Kudos for also mentioning Karen Allen's vodka shot throwdowns in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Sake/wine: Sideways and Bottle Shock are merely honorable mentions here. First prize goes to Jackie Chan chugging sake like Popeye eats spinach in The Legend of Drunken Master.

Champagne: Casablanca, for the scene when Humphrey Bogart toasts Ingrid Bergman with "Here's looking at you, kid."

Whiskey: Tough choice when you think about all those saloons and speakeasies through Hollywood history. Playboy makes a bold choice: Bill Murray's impersonation of gonzo author Hunter S. Thompson in Where the Buffalo Roam: "Necessary equipment: Six grapefruit, a bottle of Chivas, a bottle of Wild Turkey, a hunting knife and your attorney."

Tequila: Another great, off-the-wall pick, but appropriately psychotic: Sam Peckinpah's Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, with a photo of the late, great character actor Warren Oates chugging from the bottle.

Party punch: No contest. National Lampoon's Animal House.

Beer: Not sure I agree with Bob and Doug McKenzie quaffing in Strange Brew. Especially if they're going to mention Walter Matthau's Boilermakers in The Bad News Bears.

And finally...

Anything and everything: Face down, the funniest drunk ever in movies, Dudley Moore in Arthur. Necessary equipment: "The contents of a medium-sized liquor store, a steel liver, plenty of friends, no regrets." Playboy also reminds us of Arthur's shot-glass wisdom: "Not all of us who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we're not poets."

Okay, kiddies, bar's open. What's your call?