Maybe it's the tilapia Princess Di baked last night that led me to today's Friday Fromage pick, 1979's Killer Fish.
Dinner was tasty, baby, but there simply wasn't enough cheese.
Killer Fish is part of the genus underwatica stupidus, evolving from Steven Spielberg's Jaws. After that blockbuster, if it could swim there was a movie about it.
The bait for moviegoers here was the chance to see piranhas munching on the Six Million Dollar Man, Lee Majors, and a better cast than usual for such soggy entertainment: Oscar nominees Karen Black (Five Easy Pieces) and Marisa Berenson (Cabaret), former NFL quarterback/playboy Dan Pastorini, the granddaughter of a famous author (Margaux Hemingway), the guy who went searching for Charlton Heston in the second Planet of the Apes flick (James Franciscus) and Gary Collins, semi-famous for marrying Miss America, Mary Ann Mobley.
They're all on the trail of stolen jewels dumped in the ocean for safekeeping. Turns out that piranhas work better than guard dogs. You'll never experience a Long John Silver's snack the same way again.
Enjoy!
Steve Persall is the movie critic for the St. Petersburg Times. He was conceived behind a drive-in movie theater his father operated and raised in projection booths and concession stands. He doesn't care how you did it up north.
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