Race for the Hundy winner is ...
Jeanne Cosenza photo
SAFETY HARBOR, Fla. - On a beautifully breezy 88-degree day, two warriors went to battle on an unpopulated asphalt track in this quaint burg, just a card's throw from Old Tampa Bay.
The Official Arrival Ceremony lived up to the hype. Fasso, escorted by Scott Long, entered the arena from the North, sporting a Fly Emirates red cap and slurping a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, venti. From the South, Cosenza stalked the track, escorted by Ante Upper Erik, with a 67-ounce bottle of Gatorade pinned to his lips, a WSOP ballcap screwed on backwards and an iPod Shuffle dangling from his neck.
For a death-defying 33 minutes, the combatants exchanged quips, threats and taunts. Negotiation over the rules was tense at times. Cosenza refused Fasso's demand that he run in Lane 6 the entire way, but did agree to not step to the left of the inside white line - until he was way ahead and Fasso couldn't see.
The roaring, collected crowd (population 4) smirked at a request to station track stewards at each 100 meters.
Shortly before kickoff, Chris' wife arrived, offering moral support and photographing the historic event for posterity. Fasso's wife never arrived, not much of a surprise, seeing as he doesn't have a wife.
Like buckin' broncos at a rodeo, the fighters were restless and wanted to start early, but the crowd booed and made them sweat out the next 4 minutes.
At the stroke of 11, the gun (really just Scott yelling) sounded, and they were off!
Cosenza blasted from the blocks and scorched to a race-best 1:33:06 lap on the first trip around the asphalt. Fasso, using his patented "recumbent bicycle" stroke, was slow and steady, finishing the first lap in 1:42:34.
At the 600-meter mark, the tank clicked "Empty" on Cosenza's gut and he was forced to walk. (BIG surprise). Fasso didn't take the bait, keeping his slow and steady strategy intact.
At the end of three laps, the noticeably dying "athletes" crossed the line at the same time, setting up a bell lap for the ages. They kept neck and neck, ankle to ankle, for the next 200 meters, when Fasso made his move. He boosted his mph from 1 to 2, and left Cosenza in the dust ... for about 3 meters.
Chris dug in and put on the turbo boost (and you don't want to know what his "turbo boost" is. We got a whiff of it prerace) and streaked (fully clothed, thankfully) to the finish line, taking the Race for the Hundy in a startling 9:09.01.
Fasso, to the polite encouragement of the peanut gallery, finished in 9:21:17 - never having to walk a step.
Congratulations to both of these bold men, who have inspired couch potato turtles everywhere.
Stay tuned for the video report, expected from Snuffy later tonight or Sunday.
And after the Ante Up! Home Game, which begins in just 10 fateful minutes, I'll go through the several Race for the Hundy predictions, and crown a winner. That lucky soul (not as lucky as Rant, but still ...) will be shipped a Bicycle-brand coffee thermos.
Maybe you can loan it to Fasso for Race for the Hundy II.
- SCOTT
Christopher Cosenza is co-host of the longest running poker podcast on the planet, Ante Up! He started playing poker seriously in 2003 and his favorite players are Phil Ivey and Kenna James, though he tends to act like Phil Hellmuth if you make a bad play against him.
Scott Long, Ante Up!'s other co-host, is the author of the monthly Bet on It column in tbt*. He began gambling way too young (don't tell the fuzz!) and in the seventh grade, named his state "Gambleland" for a school project (State Animal? Loan shark, of course).
Wow, what an epic post and day. Definitely looking forward to the final video.
Posted by: NickG | May 10, 2008 at 02:12 PM
Mike Fasso is my hero!!!
"9:21:17 - never having to walk a step."
Great job both of you. When's the rematch???
Eric
Posted by: | May 10, 2008 at 02:18 PM
Only one second off on my time estimate. If Chris doesn't wimp out and walk I'd be rich!
Glad to see the paramedics didn't have to be called!
Posted by: mn156 | May 10, 2008 at 04:08 PM
Awesome. Is there video?
Posted by: Lee | May 10, 2008 at 06:37 PM
> "Great job both of you. When's the rematch???"
Early money is on Never.
Posted by: Gambit | May 10, 2008 at 07:13 PM
Cosenza always plays to trap heads up.
nice hand sirs.
Posted by: daedalus | May 10, 2008 at 11:48 PM
It was rigged!
Posted by: Erwin Blonk | May 11, 2008 at 07:55 AM
btw shouldn't Race For The Hundy blog entries be in the Grumpy Old Men category?
Posted by: Erwin Blonk | May 11, 2008 at 08:31 AM