When Hasselhoff Cries...
...we all cry.
Especially the good people at Grecian Formula, whose sales will plummet now that Taylor "Gray Guy" Hicks is your Season 5 American Idol champ. Apparently it's cool too look like a middle-aged Home Depot salesman. This, of course, is tremendous news for me.
(Seriously, what was up with Hasselhoff? Were those happy tears or sad ones?)
Last night's AI finale was kind of like if a prom broke out at the Super Bowl. Kids dressed up like grown-ups, major music acts, the whole world watching and me once again obsessed with someone's dirty pillows (welcome home, Melissa McGhee, welcome home).
Okay, what was more bizarre? Puck 'n' Pickler or Meat 'n' McPhee? Did you see Mr. Loaf prowling hungrily around the stage, leering at Ms. Runner-Up as if she she had a pork chop tied around her neck?
Cheers to Ryan Seacrest for sneaking in one more joke about Simon Cowell's man bosoms. Jeers to Toni Braxton for inappropriately grinding on Hicks during In the Ghetto.
Cheers to Prince for swallowing his pride and providing a cool finish. Jeers to Clay Aiken for that awkward-stage goth look.
And finally...I just got back from four days in Disney World, which allowed me to fully comprehend Kat McPhee's success. The Great Unwashed, it turns out, love 10-times-a-day "shows" that feature blatantly cardboard phone-it-in warblers who give no soul to what they're singing. Answer your phone, Kat: "The Festival of the Lion King" needs a new warthog.
Only 285 days until American Idol Season 6!!!
Sean Daly is the pop music critic for the St. Petersburg Times. His CD collection -- from Journey to Dylan, Prince to U2, Public Enemy to Stan Getz -- is much bigger and better than yours.
And you wanted Grey Guy gone!
Posted by: sparky | May 25, 2006 at 10:03 AM
There must be some sort of healing power in the tears of Hasselhoff. One of these days they'll be selling lockets with a picture of the Amish Leprechan and a few of the blessed tears. :)As for Meat, that was simply the drama that defines his stage persona. He was, in a sense, stalking her- I would suspect that was his interpretation of the song. And yes....that grinding on Taylor was a bit disturbing! Ewwwwww....Sherrie
Posted by: Sherrie | May 25, 2006 at 12:50 PM
What was Prince an opening act??
Posted by: SSC | May 25, 2006 at 01:00 PM
What is me? or was it painfully obvious to everybody watching last night's show that Chris Daughtry was absolutely rooked?!?!?! How is it possible that he didn't win that thing?I'm thinking that is what Hasselhoff was crying about. Or that AI didn't ask any of the finalists to join him for his version of the hit "Hooked on a Feeling".http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKu_QA8Bn9o
Posted by: SoManyJs | May 25, 2006 at 01:01 PM
he just found out that he really had nothing to do with the berlin wall coming down.the obsession with simon's man-boobs is a natural one for some one who may be as confused as ryan...it's both worlds combined into one.
Posted by: Anonymous | May 25, 2006 at 08:57 PM
oh god. that was so stressfull it's not even funny. thank god senor grey won. spazmo for the win. oh and by the way, i've already hit up disney, but not for the warthog. thank goddddddddd! i was up by your pad last nite seanie boy. the bb is anxious for her panic! prize. and i never realized how goth clay actually looked... ew. we're not even gonna go there.
Posted by: Allie!!! | May 29, 2006 at 09:33 PM