Sweet Dreams & Flying Machines

Listening to your iPod on a plane can be a harrowing experience. I swear I don't remember downloading James Taylor's Fire and Rain to begin with. But damn if that doomsday sucker doesn't start playing every time I'm wedged in Row 37 on some Southwest clunker. Sure, an iPod is an invaluable time-eater on a plane. An hour flight lasts, what, 10 songs? That takes a man's mind off of things; you get to six, seven songs, you're gonna be fine, right? That said, it's not doing you any good when Springsteen's I'm Goin' Down shuffles up right when you hit a patch of turbulence. That's just asking for trouble. So I strongly suggest putting together what I like to call a "Coffee, Tea or Me? Mix." These are soothing, flight-friendly ditties that reaffirm your belief in air travel. I recommend buoyant, happy tunes (Fly Like an Eagle, On the Wings of Love, Up Up and Away) or, for that matter, the entirety of Frank Sinatra's Come Fly With Me, which, as a bonus, will also give you confidence to flirt with those sexy stews. Things to stay away from? Stranded-in-space songs (Rocket Man can go either way, your call) plus any folkie soft-hit crap from the '60s and '70s, which always sound like something they'd play over a slo-mo montage of your shortened life (see Both Sides Now, Send in the Clowns). Happy traveling!

Travel Tips Needed: Ft. Lauderdale

Flying to Ft. Lauderdale tomorrow to work on a top-secret feature story that, with any luck, will change all of your lives forever (or, at the very least, make for killer accompaniment to your Fruity Pebbles). Never been to that part of FLA before, so I'm LOOKING FOR BARS, RESTAURANTS, QUIRKY LOCALES that would make for good interview backdrops. Doesn't have to be classy -- in fact, I'd prefer sexy, smarmy, hip, hot, illicit, etc. So come on, help a guy out.

Daly + Clarkson = Pulitzer?

Maybe, just maybe... KC and I (I call her KC; she calls me "random interviewer whose name I forgot immediately") chatted last Thursday. She was driving thru her Fort Worth 'hood. She talks really fast, and laughs a lot and punctuates most of her sentences with y'all. Best of all, when I grilled her ferociously about her shattered relationship with AI, she gave me some damn good answers. She also talks about such h0t-button issues as: what's on her upcoming album, how she can never recognize celebrities and her feverish passion for go-karting (really). But you can read all about this Thursday in Weekend. (Per usual, you can get all my crap here.) Check it out, y'all. You won't be sorry.

Best "John Hughes" Music

Watched The Great Outdoors this weekend, the cable-classic comedy written and produced by John Hughes --but which might as well have been directed by him, too. Not as great as his other "dysfunctional adults" movies featuring John Candy -- including Planes, Train and Automobiles and Uncle Buck -- but damn funny regardless. (If I ever make it to Paul Bunyan's Cupboard, I'm totally ordering the Old 96er. I'll just skip the Bucket of Salad.) Anyway, the movie's credits feature a zany "dance" scene cut from the middle of the film: Dan Aykroyd & Co. partying in a lodge to the tune of Wilson Pickett's Land of 1,000 Dances. It's fun stuff, and just another example of John Hughes' deft touch with cool, vaguely kitschy music. It got me thinking of all the great music from John Hughes movies -- and not just the obvious teen ones. So herewith...The Old 96er "Processing Nicely" Mix: 1) Danke Schoen -- Wayne Newton (from Ferris Bueller's Day Off) 2) Red River Rock -- Silicon Teens (from Planes, Trains and Automobiles) 3) Wild Thing -- Tone Loc (from Uncle Buck) 4) Try a Little Tenderness -- Otis Redding (from Pretty in Pink) 5) Land of 1,000 Dances -- Wilson Pickett (from The Great Outdoors) 6) Weird Science -- Oingo Boingo (from Weird Science) 7) Crazy Love -- Bryan Ferry (from She's Having a Baby) 8) I Go Crazy -- Flesh for Lulu (from Some Kind of Wonderful) 9) If You Were Here -- Thompson Twins (from Sixteen Candles) 10) Holiday Road -- Lindsey Buckingham (from Vacation) BONUS TRACK: The Spirit of Christmas -- Ray Charles (from Christmas Vacation)

That's Why I Love Mankind

On Oct. 27, my concert "wish list" gets that much blissfully smaller: Randy Newman, one of the great razor-sharp chroniclers of the American condition, plays the Tampa Theatre. Sad but true: Besides Short People and I Love L.A., I couldn't name another Newman song until a few years ago. But I remember where I was when I heard his two best albums, Good Old Boys and Sail Away, for the first time: Spring 2002, at my desk at the Washington City Paper. Rhino had just rereleased them. I didn't get anything done that day. I just listened and listened to a guy tsk-tsking his countrymen with a wicked wit and the echoes of Aaron Copland, Scott Joplin and Mark Twain. (Don't worry, you can sing along, too.) For a lot of you, I'm preaching to the choir. But if you don't have those aforementioned albums, go get 'em. Or, if you'd rather pick and choose select songs -- beyond his Pixar work, although that's deceptively smart, too -- here's a quick list: 1) Rednecks -- from Good Old Boys 2) Louisiana 1927 -- from Good Old Boys 3) A Wedding in Cherokee County -- from Good Old Boys 4) Sail Away -- from Sail Away 5) Political Science -- from Sail Away 6) Memo to My Son -- from Sail Away 7) God's Song (That's Why I Love Mankind) -- from Sail Away 8) Prologue 1915 - 1923 -- from The Natural 9) Ragtime -- from Ragtime 10) It's Money That Matters -- from Land of Dreams 11) I Think It's Going to Rain Today -- from Randy Newman

Questions for Kelly Clarkson?

If you had Kelly Clarkson all to yourself -- presumably trapped in the lotiony pit in your basement -- what would you ask her? Sometime this week, I will pick up my phone and Miss Independent will be on the other end. She's playing Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa on July 1, and I'm doing a profile for the June 29 Weekend magazine. So in the name of interactive journalism -- and in the name of laziness -- gimme some questions to ask the pop star, preferably something not related to American Idol. Kelly don't play that.

The Crying Game

I normally don't regurge my columns that run in the paper, but upon reading my Keane take in today's St. Petersburg Times, I realized that my lede rocks. So please enjoy (or not) the first few graphs, and if you want more, either shell out 35 cents or click on the link.

If there were ever a steel-cage
slapfight involving the swoony boys of Brit-pop, the guys in Keane would be the first ones to bleed.

The trio from Battle, England -- of all places -- are cuddlers not fighters, and they make fellow heartsleevers Coldplay and Travis and Doves (and so on) look like head-knocking soccer hooligans.

Sure, Brit-pop is awash in cerebral touchy-feelers, but at least most of the guy groups have jangly guitars in their songs. Keane, whose 2004 smash debut Hopes and Fears featured ubiquitous hit Somewhere Only We Know, builds its gauzy, gushy anthems with not much more than a piano, bass and drums. Toss in a harp, and Keane could get a steady gig playing the meet-and-greet at the Pearly Gates.

Okay, maybe that's being a little snarky. After all, I kind of like Keane, especially on their new album, Under the Iron Sea, released today.

Read more to be delighted or disgusted.

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

The longer I live in St. Petersburg, the more I realize I was always meant to be here: Bananas Music, just a few minutes from the newspaper, is now officially THE LARGEST "RECORD" STORE IN THE WORLD.

Tucked away in a butt-ugly industrial park (2226 16th Ave. N), two user-friendly warehouses hold more than 3 million pieces of vinyl, CD, videos and DVDs. The vibe is casual; the collection is mind-blowing; the prices are cheap. Give yourself three weeks to look around. Also bring a towel, 'cause I was sweating my tuchus off.

I ducked in for the first time last Thursday around 2 ('cause it's my job, you know). I scribbled out a quick wishlist of vinyl I owned as a dumb kid -- and now crave again as a dumb grownup. Owners Doug and Michelle Allen grabbed my soundtrack-intensive list, disappeared into the stacks for a few minutes and came back with all the goodies in pristine condition:

For Those About to Rock -- AC/DC (wish I smoked pot so I could roll a fat one in the gatefold cover)
Lights Out -- Peter Wolf
Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy -- Elton John
Up the Creek -- Various Artists (including Cheap Trick on the killer title track and Kick Axe ripping 30 Days in the Hole)
Easy Money -- Various Artists (including Rodney Dangerfield performing a rousing version of Italian wedding song Funiculi, Funicula)
Tootsie -- Various Artists
Vision Quest -- Various Artists (shout out to Molly Sherman, a high-school girlfriend, who deemed Crazy for You our "official" song)

Pop Music

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, YOU VIRILE S.O.B.s! Look at the Old Man over there; when I grow up, I wanna be just like him. ("Damn you, Bumpuses!")

In honor of Dads the globe over, here's a music mix to celebrate the Men of the House, the Arm-Chair Warriors, the Alpha Males, the Urinal Kings.

Have a helluva Sunday, boys.

1) Papa Was a Rolling Stone -- the Temptations
2) Papa Loves Mambo -- Perry Como
3) Papa Don't Preach -- Madonna
4) Father and Daughter -- Paul Simon
5) Father Figure -- George Michael
6) Gone Daddy Gone -- Gnarls Barkley
7) Strokin' -- Clarence Carter
8) Big Man on Mulberry Street -- Billy Joel
9) Old Man -- Neil Young
10) The Old Man Down the Road -- John Fogerty
Bonus Track: Mistress for Christmas -- AC/DC

"Never Call Him Ice. Always Call Him Cube."

There's a very good chance I'll be bludgeoned with a champagne bottle today, but it probably won't be Ice Cube doing the thumping. Last year, I got to hang out with the rapper-actor at the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, D.C. It was a press junket, and he was there to hype Are We There Yet?, a slapstick kid flick in which the former mouthpiece for N.W.A., a man who once hollered F--- Tha Police, repeatedly gets kicked in the crotch. I was more interested in his rhyming days, and how a once-reviled musician -- an FBI target, as a matter of fact -- had gone and turned himself into family entertainment. Seconds before he walked through the suite door, I realized I had no idea how to address the Hollywood player. Do I call him Ice? Mr. Cube? Maybe his real name: O'Shea Jackson?

"Never call him Ice," a PR toadie said. "Always call him Cube."

Good to know.

The hourlong interview wound up being one of my all-time favorites, and I still love the feature that ran in the Washington Post. Ice Cube apologizes for nothing in his life, including such incendiary rap cuts as Black Korea and No Vaseline. He didn't want fans to think he wasn't being honest back then. That was how he felt at the time.

And he was damn proud of Are We There Yet? He never dodged a question. He spoke at length about everything. Pure charm, pure confidence.

Anyway, in today's St. Petersburg Times, I wrote a relatively nasty review/essay on age limitations in rap, and how new albums by aging rhymers Ice Cube, now 37, and Busta Rhymes, 34, show the stars battling Father Time with different degrees of success. Once again, Cube's honesty pays off big time.

Check out the review. And let me know if you spot Busta Rhymes in the Tampa Bay area. That could be a problem.

Best Father's Day Gift Ever

Because I'm the World's Greatest Dad, and it says so on my BBQ apron, the Forever Fiancee and Kid Lulu let me open my Father's Day gift last night: A hipster retro music "center" with phonograph, CD, AM/FM and, hilariously enough, a tape deck. That sucker is looking mighty sweet in my epic CD room, complete with leather recliner and related guy crap. I can't tell you how much I love this gift -- especially because my bounty of vinyl has been mocking me lately, a mighty collection that spans from AC/DC to Robert Goulet. I stayed up late last night listening to crackly Jackie Wilson albums. I adore the rituals of vinyl, something I've written about at length. Studying the album art, flipping the record over. I like the sound, too: It's more visceral to me, more real, flaws and all. This morning, I ate Fruity Pebbles and played Side 1 of The Electric Horseman soundtrack. It was sublime.

Another Reason Why CD Sales Blow

I love CDs. I love opening them, I love fondling them, I love piling them in wobbly stacks around my house. When a colleague recently asked me how I was going to "dispose" of my CDs in this brave new iPodian world -- digital sales will surpass physical sales any day now -- I almost gave her a flying head kick.

Hell, I still collect vinyl.

Despite all this love, however, I suffered genuine CD malaise the other day in Best Buy, usual a safe haven for me. I was there purchasing two (2) single-disc CDs for my father: Donald Fagen's Morph the Cat and Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris' All the Roadrunning.

The cost of these two (2) CDs?

$36.36!

Good lord, those are Sam Goody prices!

Now here's the real rub:

Both albums are also available on iTunes.

Their total digital download price? $18.91!

Sure, you don't get the opening and the fondling and the hot pictures of pinups Fagen and Knopfler. But I'm willing to guess I'm in the minority about that. Most people don't care about the physical. They just want the music. And when it's available in a cheaper, hipper format, they'll opt for that.

Rainy Days & Mondays

And so it begins: When I woke up this morning, Tropical Storm Alberto had already started installing a pool in my backyard. I figure if he turns into a hurricane, I have a good shot at a hot tub, too. Good lord. When I lived in D.C., I never had to worry about this crap. Sure, I had rats the size of sedans living in my walls, but tropical storms, not so much. Anyway, because I'm always on the lookout for a blogation topic, here goes... Sean's "If the Rain Don't Get Ya, The Wind Will" Mix 1) It's Raining Again -- Supertramp 2) It's Raining Men -- Weather Girls 3) Stormy Weather -- Billie Holiday 4) Trying to Reason With Hurricane Season -- Jimmy Buffett 5) Splish Splash -- Bobby Darin 6) Under the Sea -- Bobby Darin 7) Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head -- B.J. Thomas 8) Laughter in the Rain -- Neil Sedaka 9) November Rain -- Guns 'N Roses 10) Purple Rain -- Prince Bonus Track 11) Love Reign O'er Me -- The Who

If You Could Take the Summer Off...

...and follow one band around the country, who would it be?

In August, I'll be traveling the Sunshine State with the Poison/Cinderella tour, exploring the rich, enduring bond between suburban headbangers and their preferred hirsuticians. I'm also hoping to score some really choice groupies, totally working the Bret Michaels cast-offs line.

My tentative itinerary is to hang with Poison in Tampa, Cinderella in West Palm Beach and then a free-for-all of fans and fun for the finale in Orlando. We're sending a photog along, too, so the pix should be killer. Deadheads get all the press -- Metalheads, however, have been just as loyal.

Anyway, my summer plans got me to thinking about other acts I'd enjoy following around the country:

Bob Dylan (ever-changing setlist, continuous contact high)
U2 (great music, drunk chicks)
AC/DC (100% pure Angus)
Dixie Chicks (just so I can heckle all the idiotic protesters)

INSTANT CLASSIC: "This Is Us"

For me, shopping on iTunes is a lot like shopping at Tower Records: As soon as I get there, I can't remember a single thing on my music wish-list. (I also immediately feel the urge to use the bathroom. Have no idea what that's about.) Just in case a lot of you are just as forgetful, here are a few Great New Songs to check out at your preferred digital music emporium (or, for that matter, to sneak peaks of at the record store). Write 'em on your hand or something. By the way, for those with wilder, hipper pop palates, check out my review today of Sabbathian hairballs Wolfmother and Jack White's stuck-in-the-'70s crew the Raconteurs. I dig 'em both. Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris -- This Is Us (from All the Roadrunning) A travelogue of an aging couple looking back on their lives (presumably in a photo album or on a home movie), it's one of those songs that you'll listen to 10 times in a row and still not be sick of it. Also the rare duet that both FLAT-OUT COOKS (Knopfler picks the hell of his guitar) and will put "dust in your eye." Love that piana coda. Paul Simon -- Outrageous (from Surprise) Graceland-worthy wit and wisdom with the complex pop framework to match. Another song about getting old but keeping your wits. Cheap Trick -- Perfect Stranger (from Rockford) Glam-pop goodness from a band that has no right still sounding so cool. Robin Zander lives 10 minutes from me; I want to take him golfing. Nelly Furtado -- Promiscuous (from Loose) The rest of the album is a cheap Gwen Stefani knockoff. But this club banger from Ms. Fly Like a Bird is catchy enough that you'll forgive her for a few naughty minutes. Apparently producer Timbaland didn't give Missy E. all the good beats. John Mayer -- Route 66 (from the Cars soundtrack) This guy rubs me the wrong way, and this song has been covered to death. But damn if he doesn't put a thrusty modern twist on the road-trip classic.

Ripping Radiohead

Semi-loyal bloggist Somanyjs is tired of Thom Yorke's BS. Herewith, our correspondent reports from one of Radiohead's recent Boston gigs, bemoaning the fact that the once-incandescent Brits have taken another step back. Enjoy the rage. August 1997. Harborlights. Boston. Radiohead hits the stage a month after the release of their critically acclaimed OK Computer album and quickly proves to the sold-out crowd that they might be, at the time, the best band in the world....and a band willing and able to hold the crown for a long time. Sampling tracks from their debut, Pablo Honey (Creep), to their finest hour, The Bends (Just; My Iron Lung; Street Spirit; etc.), their classic B-Sides (Banana Co), and their latest release (Let Down; Paranoid Android), they drop 22 classics on the fans that caught on to this band well before most (if not all) of the critics had caught on...

Flashforward to June 2006. Nine years. Same venue. Of course, it's called the Bank of America Pavilion now and features a Cadillac VIP tent but, otherwise, the setting remains the same. Radiohead hits the stage with 9 years of "can't do any wrong" critical praise (the critics started playing catch up) and Thom Yorke's self-indulgence is at all all time high. Performing nine new songs of the 24 in the set list, Radiohead pays little to no homage to the albums that got them there.....in fact, only 6 of the songs were even in their catalog back in 1997. At one point mid-show, 12 of the 13 songs that they play come from their post-Kid A era (does anybody actually crank that album up at home? I, mean, tell the truth.)......the album that set the tone of the "new" Radiohead.....a band hesitant to embrace melody and meaningful lyrics, but more willing to embrace technology and with the "song" being less and less of a priority.

I have never been so disappointed in a show. In some ways, Radiohead is moving backwards. They are Pink Floyd with Syd Barrett, only AFTER writing Dark Side of the Moon. I think what is so frustrating with this band is that we've seen the possibilities, but the band pretends they don't exist. I almost get the feeling as though this band has becomes Thom's issues manifested in "song" and 4 musicians unwillinging to get in his way.

At one point in last week's set, Thom looked menacingly over at Ed when he started his background vocals on the wrong chorus (at least I think it was a chorus, not sure if they really have them anymore), and was in Colin's area adjusting his bass line, all the while as Jonny was on the floor trying to make music with a transistor radio or some instrument other than his guitar. It's a shame. It's a w.a.s.t.e. I want my Radiohead back.

6/06/06: Best Evil Songs?

In honor of today's ominous (Omen-ous) date, I think it'd be wise to offer up some sacrificial songs to Satan, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Ol' Scratch.

Here's a few to get us started and please the Dark Lord:

Devil Went Down to Georgia -- Charlie Daniels
The Devil's Been Busy -- Traveling Wilburys
Shout at the Devil -- Motley Crue

Highway to Hell -- AC/DC
Hell Is for Children -- Pat Benatar
Witchy Woman -- the Eagles

OK, Princes and Princesses of Darkness, I can think of at least 20 more, so get your Lucifer on...

(If you need inspiration, check out my colleague Susan Aschoff's story on today's 6/6/6 stir here.)

Gone Fishin' (or, Jack White's Bait Shop)

There I was, snorkeling among the bikini crowd, cruising thru a mile-long procession of sting rays, sunburning the ever-loving $!#@ out of my blubber: I spent Saturday fishing/swimming the Gulf of Mexico (see Egmont Key, right) with my friends Chuck and Clint, the latter of whom owns a badass motorboat. Not a lot of fish were caught, but it was a helluva good time. I was much more concerned with the beer and the passing boat babes (suck in those guts, boys), not to mention this monstrous sea turtle that surfaced out by a lonely buoy; at first, my brain could only process the beast as a wayward kid's float. Jaw-dropping stuff, I tell you. When I did actually fish, I used a 6-foot, 6-inch Battle Wagon rod (?) with 30-pound line (?) and pinfish, greenback and shrimp as bait. When hooking a shrimp, be sure to pierce that sucker between his eyes and brain. Don't say I never taught you nothing. As their names suggest, Chuck and Clint are significantly more macho than yours truly. So I was merely in charge of the day's soundtrack. I picked 8 CDs for our journey, the most pivotal of which was the Raconteurs' Broken Boy Soldiers, which was playing when we caught our one and only fish: a 20-inch grouper 100 yards off the the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. I went for manly, crotch-scratching music, with some tropical and country vibes thrown in for good measure. I highly recommend this assortment of fishing flavors: The Raconteurs -- Broken Boy Soldiers John Fogerty -- The Long Road Home Bob Marley & the Wailers -- Talkin' Blues Merle Haggard -- 16 Biggest Hits Foo Fighters -- There Is Nothing Left to Lose Stan Getz Plays Jobim -- The Girl From Ipanema AC/DC -- Back in Black Shooter Jennings -- Put the O Back in Country

BLOG BATTLE #2: Cheap Trick or Pat Benatar?

Apples and oranges, you say?

Perhaps, but both are playing the Taste of Pinellas at St. Pete's gorgeous Vinoy Waterfront Park this weekend. Cheap Trick tonight, Pat Benatar tomorrow. We get all the hottest acts in Tampa Bay.

I kinda wanna see Rick Nielsen's 27-neck guitar, but passing up the chance to cry and hug a sweaty stranger and sing along to Shadows of the Night is tough. Thing is, I can't do both.

(By the way, Eddie Money and Starship are also playing. If you'd like to vote for them, ChilledBongo, feel free to do so.)

BLOG BATTLE #1: "Thriller" vs. "Purple Rain"

Let's stay in the '80s, back when we all so young and innocent and feeling strange sensations in our Toughskins.

An MJ Classic vs. Purple Passion

1982's Thriller vs. 1984's Purple Rain

Times are squirmy for our guys these days -- Mike's hiding in Bahrain; His Royal Badness is selling out on American Idol -- but 20-some years ago, Prince and the King of Pop were legitimate royalty.

So choose a kook, pick an album and if anyone can remember a single second of The Lady in My Life, I'll send you a prize...

1. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'
2. Baby Be Mine
3. The Girl Is Mine
4. Thriller
5. Beat It
6. Billie Jean
7. Human Nature
8. P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
9. The Lady in My Life

1. Let's Go Crazy
2. Take Me With U
3. The Beautiful Ones
4. Computer Blue
5. Darling Nikki
6. When Doves Cry
7. I Would Die 4 U
8. Baby I'm a Star
9. Purple Rain

Need an Awesome Band Name? Take One...

A Drink or Three Sweet Sister Shotgun Poo Mustache Vitamin Pee Wheelhouse Guillaume (for a French ambient duo) Hey Moe Shoot First, Die Later Mofro Lulucifer Beelzebaby (Lulucifer tribute band) Koros (pronounced KOO-RAS) Mr. Nasty Trip to Hell Pumetti