Eddie Van Halen: Porn Star?

This depresses me: Eddie Van Halen has recorded the soundtrack for an ADULT FILM.

And no, it's not called Eruption.

Herewith, a news story from that bastion of whipcrack journalism, Adult Video News:

CHATSWORTH, Calif. -- In a major crossover move, rock superstar Eddie Van Halen has joined forces with adult director Michael Ninn to write and perform two songs for the upcoming Ninn Worx feature, Sacred Sin

.

Although several big-name rappers have contributed material to XXX movies, Van Halen is probably the first major rock star to lend his name to an adult project.

Van Halen told AVN.com he’s not bothered by possible criticism. “I’m working with a friend — very simple. I like his work,” he said. “Michael Ninn is like a Spielberg to me: the imagery, the way he makes things look, just… sensual."

SPIELBERG?!! Yeah, maybe Larry Spielberg, owner of Adult World on Hollywood and Vine.

I hate to say it, but whoever has Eddie Van Halen in the Dead Pool, you're about to win big money.

If you don't believe me, check out these pictures from a recent Eddie solo show at, of all places, the House of Petals. That snapshot to the right is of Eddie's current footwear, which he presumably stole from a hobo.

Comments

[sparky]

We should have known Eddie would end up like this. First Gary Cherone, then Valerie dumps him, what is next a reunion tour just him and DLR.

[Guy]

With this blog entry, I guess you'll finally be able to expense your Adult Video News subscription, Daly. Nice work.I trace Eddie's downfall to his decision to play guitar on "Beat it". Come to think of it, maybe it started MJ's descent as well.

[chilledbongo]

what i wanna know is how can a guy who apparently drinks and smokes like eddie vh have those abs of steel?hes gotta be, what, 50? him and keith richards, evidently, came from the same alien planet: a job for the men in black.still, isnt it a measure of how safe we've become that every time some wacked musician actually engages in anti-social rocknroll behavior, he gets panned? going down the toilet is a sacred rock tradition! i mean who is more revered? jim morrison or ray manzarek?

[Sean Daly]

That's a good point, CB. I'm working on a story about the lost art of hotel-room trashing. No one wastes a suite at the Hilton anymore. Our rock stars don't act like rock stars. And that's sad.But as for Eddie...I don't know, man. I didn't feel like cracking open a bottle of JD and cueing up "Mean Streets" when I saw this debacle. And it's not so much the porn stuff that bothers me. It's that "House of Petals" thing. Something gave me the creeps about that. Eddie's face has been infused with the ghost of an ol' gold prospector. Let's be honest: The guy's not long for the world, ripped abs or not.

[Anonymous]

man, how the mighty have fallen.at one point, i argued with whoever would listen to me that eddie van halen was the luckiest man on the face of the earth: everything he touched was golden.he picked up a guitar, millions of dollars would flow his way. had an absolute babe of a wife... the man was truly blessed.all because he played a guitar like the instrument was in the hands of god himself.so he claims DLR forced him to drink and he got an ulcer? yeah, well, DLR helped make him a rich man too. i guess eddie's rehab didn't work. it also seems his mouth cancer didn't scare him off from the cancersticks. it's very sad.com'on eddie. one more tour with DLR before you croak, for old times sake. DLR won't kill you, you're doing a good job on your own.at least try to clean up your act for your kid.(as an aside, one of the top 25 moments of the old howard stern show was when stuttering john asked eddie if he was going to name his next son "coyoteface.")

[Tonka]

I actually went on the website for the movie (I was doing research!), and the one tune "Rise" is actually pretty good. He even held off from doing the "everyone thinks I invented it but I really learned it from Ace Frehely" finger-tapping that he tended to do on every single song.

[Christine Daae]

Michael Ninn's films are extremely creative and unlike any other genre of mainstream film. What's truly depressing is how judgmental you are in your blog without actually having seen a single one of his films. I've included his web site link so you can do some "research" of your own before jumping to conclusions.

[Tonianne]

soundtrack??? anything more than "bow-chicka-mow-mow" on a loop seems kind of superfluous, no?