NEW MUSIC WEEK: Los Lobos

Los Lobos won't release their new album, The Town and the City, until Sept. 12. But lemme tell you: This sucker is GOOD.

And although music critics often get overwhelmed by late-career iconic emissions -- c'mon, was the last Rolling Stones album really their "most honest recording ever"? -- I can honestly say that new track The Road to Gila Bend is easily one of Los Lobos' most uplifting. It's a midtempo road-trip rocker with a instant-mood-improving chorus and a fuzzed-out guitar line that gives the song a hazy, slightly buzzed feel.

Times travel/food/books/music/whatelseyagot? writer Colette Bancroft will be weighing in on The Town and the City in a couple weeks. But rest assured that the East L.A. band, now in its 33rd year, is still toying with form (MexiCali, blues, rock, jazz, psychedelia, etc.) and doing whatever they damn well please. The wolves are surviving quite well, thank you.

NEW MUSIC WEEK: Bob Dylan

On Tuesday, Bob Dylan released his first new album in five years, a veritable dino-dig of old blues bones, jabberwockian wordplay and vintage roadhouse sounds winkingly titled Modern Times. On that same day, a crusade of scholars, sycophants and related shut-ins began digging through the disc — does the title reference Chaplin, Sartre? — for clues related to the man, the myth, the puzzle.

Dylanology, the study of All Things Bob, is an intense pop culture pursuit; there are college courses devoted to his work. This deification both irks and amuses the emotionally reclusive Dylan, who once infuriated followers by modestly comparing his skills to those of a mere "song and dance man."

As a result of the idolatry, Modern Times, stuffed as it is with old-timey references and wild doublespeak, often sounds deliberately built to mess with heads. For instance, the album was produced by Jack Frost — otherwise known as Bob Dylan, trying on yet another chilly mask.

For all the allegory, however, Modern Times also has the wistful aroma of a goodbye note. It’s entirely possible that Dylan is bidding adieu, and that the album (and his enduring message) is simply about looking back, with anger and affection. The final installment in a career-rejuvenating "trilogy," the new disc is neither as bleak as 1997’s Time Out of Mind, nor as fanciful as 2001’s Love and Theft. Instead, Modern Times, which features Dylan on keyboards, guitar and harmonica, is both serious and shamelessly romantic, sepia-toned and pop culture savvy, a puzzling, puckish portrait of the artist as a 65-year-old antihero.

(My Dylan review runs in full tomorrow -- along with a story called "Blonde on Blonde," an epic battle between Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson.)

NEW MUSIC WEEK: Jessica Simpson

Simpson’s post-divorce disc, A Public Affair, released today, is mostly about what a wild, sex-stuffed time the former Newlywed is having these days -- although a relatively sweet cover of the Dixie Chicks’ Let Him Fly is aimed straight at ex Nick Lachey ("And there ain’t no talkin’ to this man, he’s been trying to tell me so / It took a while to understand the beauty of just letting go").

Unlike her wee sis Ashlee, Jessica can hold a note. Unfortunately, the note she's holding is usually drool-inducingly dull. The bright spots are more like dim spots. A funk-disco hybrid called Push Your Tush is kinda fun in a horrific Girls Gone Wild sort of way. Vampy throwback Swing With Me might have been interesting if Christina Aguilera hadn’t done the dirrty-USO-girl thing 10 times better just a few weeks ago.

What's most disturbing about the album is its incredible lack of imagination. First single A Public Affair is a blatant ripoff of Madonna’s Holiday — until it turns into a blatant ripoff of Diana Ross’ Ain’t No Mountain High Enough. And a clunky cover of Dead or Alive’s You Spin Me Round (Like a Record Player) is a desperate attempt to cash in on the ’80s craze. I hate to say it, but Jessica Simpson makes Paris Hilton look like a pop genius.

NEW MUSIC WEEK: Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton makes me feel dirty inside, and not just for the obvious porny reasons. Her new album, inventively titled Paris, is, for the most part, a mockery of the entire pop-music process. Especially the opening cut, Turn It Up, in which the naked heiress baby-doll-voices an assortment of hip-hop shout-outs: "Oooh! "Yeahh!" "That's hot!" "Scott Storch!"

Most of the disc has that novelty-album stench. In fact, instead of covering Do Ya Think I'm Sexy, it would have been more appropriate for her to cover, say, The Curly Shuffle or maybe Fish Heads.

HOWEVER, and this is where the dirty part comes in, not one, but two songs on the disc are, lo and behold, wicked awesome (although there's a definitely a Milli Vanilli vibe going on here. Her voice is so layered and digitized and souped-up, the actual Paris is barely recognizable).

You no doubt know the first single Stars Are Blind, a pseudo-reggae bonbon that has an intangible likeability. With that incredibly catchy chorus, it's essentially an '80s tune without sounding synthy and vintage.

I'm also digging the club-banger I Want You, which samples the title track from Grease and has all manner of air sirens screaming in the background. The track is produced by Rihanna's knob-twiddler, JR Rotem. This sucker is a shoo-in for a future single, and whether you like it or not, you'll be shaking your tuchus to Paris Hilton sometime soon.

Too Many Taquitos, Too Few Aces

Got creamed in cards last night. Texas hold 'em with the Desperate Houseguys. Lotta lousy last-minute beats, including a devastating dagger on the river that sent me reeling. Didn't help that I also chased a 12-pack of Bud Lite with 10 too many taquitos. (That's a great title for my autobiography: "Too Many Taquitos.") On top of everything, I have to have my column picture taken today and I look even more like a bloated Abe Vigoda. I'm screwed.

SD's "TOO MANY TAQUITOS, TOO FEW ACES" Gaming Mix
1. Who's Got the Action -- Dean Martin
2. Turn the Cards Slowly -- Patsy Cline
3. Queen of Hearts -- Juice Newton
4. Turn of a Friendly Card -- Alan Parsons Project
5. The Gambler -- Kenny Rogers
6. Rambler, Gambler -- Bob Dylan
7. Luck Be a Lady -- Frank Sinatra
8. Viva Las Vegas -- Elvis Presley
9. Leaving Las Vegas -- Sheryl Crow
10. Busted -- Johnny Cash 

Movin' Out: Songs for Packing

Dust bunnies dive-bombing my head, crack-revealing construction dudes raising hell, all my neighbors being shipped off to brave new worlds: Big renovations going on here at the ol' SPT. I'm the last of the Newsfeatures crew to be packed up and shipped out to another floor. Everything around me has been torn down. It's just me and my desk and my computer, the loneliest writer in the world (besides Matt Drudge, that is).

So here you go, "SD's Move It or Lose It Mix"
1.) The Way You Move -- OutKast
2.) Move It On Over -- Hank Williams
3.) Movin' Out (Anthony's Song) -- Billy Joel
4.) I'm Movin' On -- Ray Charles
5.) I Like to Move It -- Reel 2 Real
6.) Move It Like This -- Baha Men
7.) Bust a Move -- Young MC
8.) Make a Move on Me -- Olivia Newton-John
9.) Leader of the Pack -- the Shangri-La's
10.) Leave It -- Yes

Sean Daly: Groupie Wrangler

From the bleach-blonde stripper who proudly flashed me her Motley Crue panties to the cosmetically enhanced fan who motioned to her breasts and asked, "Are my boobs even?" my immersion into the Poison/Cinderella tour of Florida has been even nuttier than expected.

After shows in Tampa (where went backstage with Cinderella) and West Palm Beach (where we went backstage with Poison), we have one show left: tonight in Orlando.

I might retire after writing this story. You won't believe some of the stuff in my notebook -- or, for that matter, the pictures in Bob Croslin's camera. And I'm not just talking about the skanky stuff. I met a couple of brothers yesterday, both of whom have life-threatening kidney problems. They shouldn't have been at show, smoking and partying, but metal is what keeps them alive.

Anyway, I plan on writing about this next part at greater length, but here's my personal highlight thus far: After a great backstage interview at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa, Cinderella drummer Fred Coury agreed to have his picture taken for the story, BUT ONLY IF HE WAS SURROUNDED BY "HOT CHICKS."

So in true roadie style, I was forced to march out into the buzzing audience and, accompanied by two willing press liaisons from the venue, pick out a gaggle of female fans for Fred. How's that for old-school? You'll have to wait for the story to see who we found (and what they're reactions were), but you'll be pleasantly surprised.

OK, we're off to Orlando. I'll talk to you soon...

Keepin' Metal Alive

I'm about to embark on a three-day hair-metal odyssey, following the Poison/Cinderella tour across the Sunshine State.

Current itinerary has me hanging with Cinderella in Tampa on Saturday, Poison in West Palm Beach on Sunday and debauched fans for Tuesday's finale in Orlando.

Times ace photog Bob Croslin will be capturing all the metal mayhem. Look for a big, hairy feature in the next few weeks.

Anyway, I'll try to give an update or two from the road. Or, if everything goes well, from jail.

Zoo Tunes

Anybody else have a wicked case of Cat Scratch Fever?

Herewith, a playlist dedicated to animal songs and related pet sounds:

1.) War Pigs -- Black Sabbath
2.) Bears -- Lyle Lovett
3.) What's New Pussycat? -- Tom Jones
4.) Will the Wolf Survive -- Los Lobos
5.) Everbody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey -- the Beatles
6.) Bird on a Wire -- the Neville Brothers
7.) Atomic Dog -- George Clinton
8.) Grey Seal-- Elton John
9.) Eye of the Tiger -- Survivor
10.) Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses -- U2

Bernard Fanning's "Tea & Sympathy"

Every once in a while, I reach into the teetering stacks of CDs on my desk and pull out a gem. Today's eye-opener is Bernard Fanning's Tea & Sympathy, which was released last week.

Fanning is an Australian chap whose day job involves fronting the band Powderfinger, which, alas, I know very little about.

What I do know is that his solo work reminds me a lot of those classic Neil Young records like Comes a Time and Sugar Mountain. There's also a born-in-the-'70s soft pop vibe. Maybe a little Dead Flowers Stones, too. It's hangover music -- either nursing one or tying one on. Acoustic clashes with electric, quiet erupts into cinematic, folk meets country meets roots-rock, with lots of heart and grandeur and catchy parts to seal the deal. With a well-worn, slightly beaten croon, Fanning is instantly likable.

If you want a taste of Tea & Sympathy on iTunes, try out the songs Sleeping Rough, Thrill Is Gone and Wish You Well. You won't be sorry.

My iTunes Profile

Baby Elephant Walk? Fat Joe? Shake the Disease?

iTunes totally thinks I'm obese. And lonely (Man on the Corner, Behind These Hazel Eyes, I Keep Forgettin'). And in the closet (George Michael, Depeche Mode, The Glamourous Life).

Careful with the jokes. 'Cause iTunes also thinks I'm capable of putting a cap in your a-- (Get It Poppin', Yung Joc, Ice-T), which is totally true.

Herewith, today's "Just for You" list on my iTunes page, a recommended assortment of songs based on my previous purchases and, apparently, my penchant for gats and Twinkies.

Too Late for Goodbyes -- Julian Lennon
Behind These Hazel Eyes -- Kelly Clarkson
Get It Poppin (Featuring Nelly) -- Fat Joe
Man On the Corner -- Genesis
I Know You See It -- Yung Joc
Shake the Disease -- Depeche Mode
I Keep Forgettin' -- Michael McDonald
Dead Giveaway -- Shalamar
I'm Your Pusher/Pusherman -- Ice T
I Got You -- Split Enz
Baby Elephant Walk/Java -- Al Caiola/Billy May
You and Me -- Lifehouse
Touch of Grey -- Grateful Dead
The Glamorous Life (Club Edit) -- Sheila E
Freedom 90 -- George Michael

MORE "IDOL" HATE MAIL

Ace Young's fans may be slow on the uptake -- their vitriol regarding my American Idol review showed up 5 days after Elliott Yamin's fans sounded off -- but give 'em credit for strength in numbers. I've received more than 40 emails from Ace's "High Rollers" so far. These are very angry people.

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YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!! YOU ARE SOOO STUPID!!! How could you say such awful, things about someone you don't know?!?! Ace is an amazing person and you and lots of other people need to get over the "pretty boy", "boy band" sterotypes because it is getting old and it couldn't be more false!!!!

You are just another immature, iggnorant male who is jealous of Ace's good looks, charisma, beautiful voice and rising fame!!! I'm done now...you're not even worth this much of my time but I had to set you straight! DON'T MESS WITH ACE'S HIGHROLLERS!!!!!!!!!!

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What is your problem man? Ace Young happens to be a great human being with an amazing voice. If he had a horrable voice then why didn't the judges not even let him go through the first round? He has to have had talent to have made it 7th place on American Idol! Leave your rude comments to yourself because the highrollers aren't not going to believe it. We know his voice better than you do so shut up! Next time you think about writing something mean about him, think about it. You can either write and put people in pain, or not write and make people happy. Because if you believed in God then you would know writing something that mean about Ace is a sin...

****

How can you critic Ace Young like that. I'm sure your getting a lot of e-mail from Ace fans. You don't even give him some credit. Simon Cowell says he's going to go far. And how is he so bad if he was in the top 7? He got past hundreds of thousands of hopefuls. Not because he is cute or his style, but beacuse he is a talented singer. I have no doubt that he has more fans than you do. And another thing. Have you even seen Ace in concert? I guess you haven't. Because if you have you would be choking on your words now. Mr. Daly I'm positive that you don't have many fans right now.

****

First of all, I hope you've been enjoying reading all of the emails from all of ACE'S HIGHROLLERS!! I bet you never once thought that Ace has SO MANY FANS!! Most of all, I hope after all these emails (including mine) that you're finally getting an EDUCATION on Ace and what he TRULY stands for!! What amazes me is that you're probably some "Howard Stern wannabe" who probably always looks to PUT DOWN PEOPLE that you know NOTHING about!!

The Timecard Boogie

Herewith, a playlist celebrating that blessed span of time in which we ditch the daily grind and pretend The Man doesn't own our souls.

SD's "Loverboy Sounds Good Once a Week" Mix

1.) Friday -- Ice Cube
2.) Saturday Night -- Bay City Rollers
3.) Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) -- Elton John
4.) Another Saturday Night -- Sam Cooke
5.) Saturday in the Park -- Chicago
6.) Big Weekend -- Tom Petty
7.) Weekend in New England -- Barry Manilow
8.) Working for the Weekend -- Loverboy
9.) Sunday Morning Coming Down -- Kris Kristofferson
10.) Everyday Is Like Sunday -- Morrissey
BONUS TRACK: Monday Monday -- Mamas & the Papas

I HATE SEAN DALY

(Here are a few of my fans responding to Monday's review of the AMERICAN IDOLS: LIVE! show...)

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"Mr. Daly: Having read your review of the American Idol concert, I just had to go to your blog site to see what you looked like. I thought that since you were so very rude and critical of many of the idol's looks, that perhaps you looked like some kind of Greek God. Well, we both know now, that THAT'S wrong!!!

Errrr, Daly dude, perhaps you should choose a career more suited to your talents, whatever they may be, but I have news for you, Music is not it."

****
"Why do you feel the need to make fun of these young people? It is very degrading and rude. I think you owe everyone an apology, especially Mr. Yamin. Hurting someone's feelings is not a very nice thing to do, surely your mother didn't raise that way. Making fun at someone elses expensive is cruel. I am disappointed you feel the need to report in that manner."
****

"1. Yeah, Sean, the American Idol venue was "sold out." That means a lot of people want to pay money for tickets to see the American Idols.

2. The song Bucky sings is 'Superstitiious' not 'Superstition.'

3. Elliott Yamin has a voice and music career on the horizon that will match greats like Sinatra, Bennett, etc. And, millions of women think he is sexy.

4. Is the paper you write for a high school paper? Just figured it has to be because I find it hard to believe that a city newspaper would pay someone to write like you do."

Mariah Carey: CLICK ON THE PICTURE!!!

TAMPA - She has been a prodigy and a punchline, a pinup girl and a poster child for the pitfalls of celebrity excess. But throughout a 16-year career that has been just as curvy as that ample figure she likes to flaunt, Mariah Carey has always been able to rely on one true constant:

Her all-world pipes, a vocal gift that's downright superheroic in these prefab days of pseudo pop stars a la Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

That's a nice talent to have, and Carey sure knows it. Her show at the St. Pete Times Forum on Monday -- just the second night on her current U.S. tour -- suffered an array of bumps and clunks unbe-fitting a polished diva. The show started way late, the seven-piece backing band was far too loud and obtrusive, and her dance troupe often scuffed around like a gang of misfit mimes.

But thanks to an array of high-wire vocal derring-do, the 36-year-old Long Island native never lost an adoring crowd of 16,493 fans for too long.

(My review gets really naughty right about HERE.)

SING THE BODY ELECTRIC

Hey Blog Superstars: The Powers That Be are trying out highfalutin new blog technology. It promises to make my prose sing, sing, sing. We'll see...

Anyway, I finally made it out to the "BODIES" brouhaha at Tampa's Museum of Science and Industry. You've no doubt heard about the exhibit, in which real humans (reportedly, and controversially, prisoners and homeless people from China) are polymerically preserved for all to see.

In typical Daly Family tradition, however, the somberness, the intensity of the event was diluded when my 2-year-old daughter scampered free from my clutches and started stumbling perilously close to the viscera-revealing specimens. Kid Lulu was seconds from kicking around a plasticine spleen. 

Anyway, with all due respect to those BODIES -- and in celebration of our new blog format -- here's today's playlist:

SD's "Flesh for Kid Lulu" Mix
1. Touch Me (I Want Your Body) -- Samantha Fox
2. One Hit (To the Body) -- Rolling Stones
3. Body Talk -- Ratt
4. Flesh for Fantasy -- Billy Idol
5. Underneath It All -- No Doubt
6. I've Got You Under My Skin -- Frank Sinatra
7. Body Count -- Ice T
8. Body and Soul -- Billie Holiday
9. The Body Machine -- Schoolhouse Rock
10. Physical -- Olivia Newton-John
BONUS TRACK: The Trick Is to Keep Breathing -- Garbage

PLUG THIS: Front Row Frenzy, You're No Mariah

Hey Cool Kids: 'Cause I'm tired of scribbling and need to prepare/drink for Mama Daly coming to town, allow me to shamelessly plug two of my features in today's St. Pete Times. Print 'em out: They make for great bathroom reading. (1) You're No Mariah -- "Mariah Carey is, without a doubt, the worst thing to happen to amateur singing since the karaoke machine." CLICK THIS FOR MORE. (2) Front Row Frenzy -- "The discourteous scourge of the best seats in the house, Front Row Frenzy involves bloodless, tension-fat skirmishes related to cell phone calls and spilled beer and tall people dancing in front of short people sitting. Sure, people act like creeps in both good seats and nosebleeds, but in the top-dollar section, some people think they're paying to have a perfect night. That's where the trouble starts." CLICK THIS FOR MORE. 

Legends of the Fall

Here's a slew of BIG pop releases coming out this fall. Due to my shoddy work ethic, I can't review all these suckers. OutKast is a must. So's my girl Beyonce. Dylan, too. But should I do Timberlake? His new song blows, so he's already teetering off the "Maybe" list. How about Bob Seger? Janet Jackson? Evanescence? Man, I was totally ready to take the autumn off. Too much, darling, too much. AUGUST 8/15 Christina Aguilera -- Back to Basics 8/22 OutKast -- Idlewild 8/22 Kelis -- Kelis Was Here 8/29 Bob Dylan -- Modern Times 8/29 Paris Hilton -- Paris 8/29 Jessica Simpson -- A Public Affair SEPTEMBER 9/5 Beyonce -- B'day 9/12 Justin Timberlake -- Futuresex/Lovesounds 9/12 Bob Seger -- Face the Promise 9/19 Diana Krall -- From This Moment On 9/26 Janet Jackson -- 20 Y.O. OCTOBER 10/3 The Killers -- Sam's Town 10/3 Evanescence -- The Open Door

Sean Enters 21st Century, Buys Music

Just got a DSL line into the Daly manse which means the iTunes are downloading fast and furious now. Like any good pop critic, I've abandoned the family and spent Kid Lulu's college tuition on music. Here's a quick list of my most recent digital purchases: Hips Don't Lie -- Shakira w/Wyclef Jean Pink Panther -- Freak Nasty (the STREET version, which is just plain filthy. I love it.) The Pink Panther Theme -- Hollywood Studio Orchestra (this is the version Drew, Lucy and Cameron pussycat-dance to in Charlie's Angels: Full Throtttle) There You Go -- Pink Thong Song -- Sisqo (there's a Tijuana story involved) In Too Deep -- Sum 41 (saw American Pie 2 the other night) I Missed Again -- Phil Collins Goodbye-Goodbye -- Oingo Boingo (1988 Boingo Alive version) Ain't No Other Man -- Christina Aguilera  Banned in the U.S.A. -- 2 Live Crew SOS -- Rihanna Heaven Can Wait -- Dave Grusin Main Titles from Superman Returns -- John Ottman