What? WHAT?! (High School Musical)

TAMPA -- Did you hear the screams Wednesday night, that awesome glass-shattering EEEEEE! that sent dogs into delirium from here to Boca?

That was the unforgettable sound of thousands upon thousands of cotton candy-jacked tweenagers bursting from their grade-school shackles and pleading for a chance to mingle with the big kids. Or, at the very least, sing with them.

Jocks and nerds forgoing wedgies and crooning as one is the utopian message behind High School Musical, the Disney Channel's made-for-cable phenomenon that spawned a triple-platinum soundtrack (the biggest-selling album of the year no less), a mega-selling DVD and now this: an $8.5-million concert spectacle that rah-rah-sis-boom-bahed into a sold-out St. Pete Times Forum on Wednesday.

More than 15,000 fans can't be wrong, folks. And they can't be quiet, either.

Over the past few years, the Mouse House has increasingly shanghaied the allowance money of squeaky 8- to 13-year-old kids via clean but hip entertainment with major cross-marketing clout. Give Disney credit: Kids are bombarded with music from all sides these days (iPods, video games, commercials), so songs have to be legitimately likable and catchy to stick.

And that's exactly what High School Musical is: the legitimately likable, incredibly catchy story about a basketball star (we love you, Troy!) and a brainiac (we want to be you, Gabriella!) who fall in love via a shared desire to sing Broadway-style ditties.

Of course, you didn't need to know any of that for Wednesday's event. The frenetic 90-minute stage show was all about the hits and the hot special effects -- shooting sparks, smoke machines, an IMAX screen showing clips of the movie -- and not at all about the movie's plot. I don't think a character's name was mentioned the whole night.

Instead, High School Musical: The Concert focused almost exclusively on selling its stars. Disney has a fiscally sound knack for turning unknowns (who get paid entry-level dollars, dontcha know) into knowns, and HSM is no exception. Almost all the leads from the movie were booked for the touring production, save for the original Troy, cutie-pie Zac Efron, who is currently filming Hairspray. No worries: His replacement, Drew Seeley, will no doubt be a household name by recess.

Next Big Thing Vanessa Hudgens, so cute and shy as brainy brunette Gabriella, now slithers and slinks with J.Lo Jr. sex appeal. Ashley Tisdale (pictured), so nasty and mean as snotty rich girl Sharpay, is now Britney Spears before the badness. And wild-haired Corbin Bleu, who played Troy's pal, has become Disney's energetic entry into the hip-hop market.

In a shameless bit of marketing, Hudgens, Tisdale and Bleu were all given too-long solo "showcase" sets in between the HSM parts, singing wishy-washy cuts from upcoming debut albums. Killing momentum, emcee Lucas Grabeel (he played Sharpay's bro in the movie) would then "interview" each performer in a mumbly back and forth. Lame-o-rama.

Still, it was hard to get too jaded for too long. Those HSM tracks, given oomph by a live six-piece band, were pretty darn good. Get'cha Head in the Game got its beats from basketball bounces and sneaker squeaks, and the accompanying dance routine was supercool. Hudgens' When There Was Me and You was an updated take on Grease's Hopelessly Devoted to You. And the utterly Godspellian Stick to the Status Quo had legit gospel punch and Greek chorus cheek.

And I'm willing to bet that every single person bouncing in every single seat knew every single word to every single song.

By the way, one of the biggest screams of the night came for an advertisement that flashed on the video screen: "High School Musical 2. Coming Summer 2007." You've been warned, Mom and Dad. EEEEEE!

Comments

[Jennifer]

This is the first accurate review I've seen of this horrible concert. It was a 90 minute long ad for soon to be released CD's. Shame on you Disney.

[jordani moreia de lima yacoub achcar]

eu sou fã de vocês, todos vocês SAO CANTORES MARAVILHOSOS SAO LINDOS E PRINCIPALMENTE MELHORES DO QUE OS RBD SIGNIFICA:REBELDES.

EU AMO TODOS VOCêS! E EU NUNCA VOU ESQUECER DE VOCêS!

UM BEJOÃ DE JORDANI
VOCêS MORAM NO MEU CORAÇÃÕ.