American Idol Stumbles: New Yor, New Yor

American Idol has always been a smartly manipulative show, but despite the massive ratings, it was a disaster this week. Memphis was just plain boring, and last night's New York show left a bad taste in my mouth. First of all, lemme just say AMERICAN IDOL ISN'T MEAN ENOUGH. It should be even meaner. Like Simon sez, "When someone's down on the floor, kick them." They should have eviscerated that Noo Yawk buffoon who opened the show last night. What a horrific, depressing way to start a two-hour sh-- sandwich. Can't we get Don Rickles as a guest judge? Chris Rock maybe? They're making all the wrong people cry. I was gonna transcribe my notes, but forget it. Instead, I'm gonna pull an Abdul and hit the pharmacy.