Revenge of the Poodle Hawk

Chaos is about to reign on American Idol. But first, a few words about Sanjaya, who now has tweens, teens and anarchists on his side.

Sanjaya is smarter than you think. He's definitely smarter than Gwen Stefani. He also might be a little nasty, too. Some say he's a victim, a pawn in game of life. I say Sanjaya is like Keyser Soze. Beware.

As most of America now knows, on last night's Idol, devoted to the songs and influences of No Doubt, the manipulatively hirsute "singer" looked like he was trying out for a high school version of Mad Max. He didn't even bother singing No Doubt's Bathwater, instead letting his locks do the work for him. His appeal has always been that of a 9-year-old girl gripping her hair brush and singing in front of the mirror. But last night, he was almost spiteful, almost eeeevilll, daring you to vote him off, a 13-year-old who hates her parents and is contemplating a tongue ring. Gwen Stefani thought he was doomed, but Simon Cowell was smarter, noting that it doesn't matter what the judges say.

Sanjaya isn't going anywhere. (Chris Richardson, the weakest of the pasty white guys, is doomed, although Chris Sligh's Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic was abominable.) Heck, he might make the Top 4. He's already made the Top 10, which means he gets to tour with his Idol pals at the end of the season. I'm telling you right now: There will be more Sanjaya fans in stadiums across the country than Melinda or Lakisha fans. This is all good news for Idol. Don't believe the crap about the show's integrity being tainted. It's all about buzz. It's all about viewership.

Haley Scarnato, who looks like a 1920s pinup in GAMS magazine, is also safe. Which means very soon, legit talent will start getting axed. Some people are saying that won't happen, that Idol normalcy will soon take over. I don't know about that. This year's different. It is. Sanjaya is wicked. So is Haley. I can see them cackling in a shadowy hotel room, hatching their evil plot, making fun of Phil Stacey, and doing each other's hair. Chaos, I tell you. Chaos. 

Comments

[Guy]

I think Sanjaya's ascent is part of the Simons' (Fuller & Cowell) master plan. Regardless of where he finishes, he will not only get a record deal but will outsell Melinda and Lakisha - combined.

AI is about generating buzz and moving product, neither of which a win by any of the more talented singers in this group will accomplish.

[Mimi]

The judges didn't even mention that he flubbed the words to his song on 3/27 ... he has everyone hypnotized by THAT HAIR.

[Ruben Studdard]

I really don't know why all the fuss about Sanjaya. He's not *that* bad!

[Douglas Arthur]

As much as I hate Snajaya, I was glad that fat-fro Chris got the boot. he sucked big time this week and I was getting tired of his schtick. Bottom-line is that Sanjaya will not win anyway. he is like this year's William Hung, except that he actually made the finals!