Brusha! Brusha! Brusha!

Poor Kid Lulu: Due to her nasty apple juice habit (I blame her mother), the lil' squirt's got a few cavities. I didn't get my first cavity until 12 -- and, despite my Snickers-intensive diet, I never had another one. But the Lu obviously has lousy teeth (I blame her mother). So today is dentist day. It's gonna be a nightmare of drills, tears and everlasting parental resentment. The best way to deal with stress and fear, of course, is vodka, Red Bull and tapas. But she's only 3, so tapas are out. Anyway, here's a dentally challenged playlist for my kid:

With Teeth -- Nine Inch Nails
Love Bites -- Def Leppard
Spit Proper -- Busta Rhymes
Ain't Talkin' -- Bob Dylan
Dentist! -- Steve Martin
Bad Mouth Kid -- Ghostface Killah
Hurt Me Bad (In a Real Good Way) -- Patty Loveless
I Want Candy -- Bow Wow Wow
Drill, Ye Tarriers, Drill -- the Tarriers
Ouch -- Be Your Own Pet

Comments

[Shelly]

I have discovered through my own daughter's experience (although she's 11), that filling cavities is nothing like it was when we were little. They don't seem to need to drill like I remember. So, maybe, it won't be so bad. Good luck!

[KJW]

Fixin' A Hole - The Beatles
and any track from Poison's "Open Up and Say... Ahh" prefereably from the 20th anniversary edition which captures the subtle aural nuances of "Fallen Angel" much sharper than the original CD version.

[Mooveez]

Don't forget "Oral Hygiene" by Bongos, Bass and Bob (aka Penn Jillette and his pals. The LP is out of print but you may hear it on Sesame Street reruns.