SONG OF THE WEEK: "Don't Get Me Wrong"

So while the Forever Fiancee and I were out in Vegas not getting married, we decided to take a ride up the Fake Eiffel Tower at our Fake Paris hotel. As we waited in line, we listened to the too-many-Camels, too-many-husbands voice of a train-wreck lounge singer butchering the Pretenders' Don't Get Me Wrong. It was awful, yes, but there was something rather touching in its awfulness. She knew exactly what Chrissie Hynde was singing about -- she just had a little trouble conveying.  Anyway, when I returned from my trip, I was rather excited to find Rhino's recent remastering of the Get Close album waiting for me on my desk. I immediately cued up Track No. 6, Don't Get Me Wrong, and wrote up an entry for a future Listen to This column. If you don't have the song, it's an iTunes special.

SONG OF THE WEEK
The Pretenders
Song: Don’t Get Me Wrong
Album: Get Close: Remastered & Bonus Tracks (Rhino/WEA)
Why we care: The record geeks at Rhino have remastered two more Pretenders albums: 1984’s Learning to Crawl and 1986’s Get Close. And while the former was a sales giant thanks to Middle of the Road and Back on the Chain Gang, our fave Chrissie Hynde vocal is on the latter.
Why we like it: “Who can explain the thunder and rain / But there’s something in the air.” With her dark eyes and working-class grit, Hynde often came off like that hardened waitress in the Brass in Pocket vid. But on this bouncy gem, she reveals a softer side and gets dizzied by the hunk of her dreams.
Reminds us of: That Vegas lounger we just saw destroy Don’t Get Me Wrong. Thankfully, the real thing was waiting for us when we got back.
Song grade: A

Any Soundtrack Geeks Out There?

I loved soundtracks as a kid, from Ghostbusters (a rare Bus Boys track!!) to Raiders of the Lost Ark. When my peers were learning about, say, the Cure or the Smiths, I was geeking out over the Caddyshack soundtrack. Hell, I even memorized Mel Brooks' History of the World Pt. 1 via vinyl. Go on, make fun -- I read all the movie tie-ins, too -- but I recently scored a great interview with Cheap Trick's Robin Zander mainly because I still own the Up the Creek soundtrack.

Anyway, just got a PR email for the new Simpsons movie soundtrack (out July 31 -- movie is out July 27, click here for the awesome website). No Danny Elfman, strangely enough. Instead, the score was created by composer Hans Zimmer, who was once a member of the Buggles. Two versions of the soundtrack will be available: the standard jewel case and "a limited edition in a Homer-approved bright pink donut case, complete with multicolored sprinkles, which is supplied in a classic bakery take-out box." The geek in me is loving that.

I Just Talked to Brian Johnson...

The AC/DC frontman doesn't like sharks. He's not too fond of U2's Edge, either. Now living down the street in Sarasota, he gets up at 7 a.m. every day to jog and do laps in the pool. He has no idea when the next AC/DC album is coming out, but says Angus and Malcolm are in the studio.

Steve Spears and I just interviewed Johnson for a Stuck in the '80s podcast, which will hopefully be online tomorrow. I'll let you know when it comes out. Johnson is absolutely hilarious, as pub-crusty and colorful as a pint of his favorite stout.

In the meantime, he's headlining an all-star charity show in Clearwater next Tuesday, July 3. Here's a little snippet I wrote up for it in today's Weekend section:

Where in the devil is AC/DC? Seriously, Angus Young and his Aussie mates haven't released a new album in years (Stiff Upper Lip, 2000). And, let's be honest, the Back in Blackers aren't getting any younger. What the world needs now is some loud, lewd rock 'n' roll to lift its spirits, and I can't think of a better band of hooligans to deliver. There's been talk of a new AC/DC album for a while, but I'll believe it when I headbang to it.

While we're waiting, we can at least enjoy half of the band. This Tuesday, singer Brian Johnson and bassist Cliff Williams, plus Cheap Trick's Robin Zander and Eddie Money, will put on a benefit show at Ruth Eckerd Hall in Clearwater. The cause is solemn; the John Entwistle Foundation provides free music education and instruments to underprivileged kids. But the show will be wild, as Johnson leads an all-star band cranking out all the AC/DC hits, including a promised finale of Highway to Hell.

Classic Rock Cares, featuring Brian Johnson, Cliff Williams, Robin Zander and Joe Lynn Turner (of Rainbow), begins at 8 p.m. Tuesday at Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater. Benefits the John Entwistle Foundation. $39.75-$75. (727) 791-7400.

In Sean's Mailbox: Kelly vs. Hannah

Why is it that the amount of fun had on vacation is always directly proportional to the amount of soul-sucking work waiting on your desk when you get back? I think this day should be postponed until the troops are better rested.

I've started opening my post-Vegas mail...

Miley Cyrus -- Hannah Montana 2: Meet Miley Cyrus
Kelly Clarkson -- My December
Paramore -- Riot!

Sinead O'Connor -- Theology
Carmen Rasmusen -- Nothin' Like the Summer
Various Artists -- Songs of the African Coast
Michael McDermott -- Noise From Words
Steve Vai -- Sound Theories Vol. 1 & II
1997 -- A Better View of the Rising Moon

Live (nearly) from the Vegas Strip

Hey gang, it's your old buddy Steve Spears from the Stuck in the 80s blog and podcast (click here to subscribe for free on iTunes), subbing in for Sean, who just called in from vacation in Las Vegas. He wanted to make sure that: (a) his readers weren't deprived of his trademark humor, and (b) I hadn't drained his entire alcohol cabinet while housesitting at the Daly residence. (Well, I'm batting.500, which isn't bad.)

Here's Sean's report:

On his gambling luck: "I was down $100 five minutes after I got off the plane."

On his primo seats for the new Cirque du Soleil show about the Beatles: "The seats cost like $300 but I was sitting in third row. The Cirque clowns were staring at me and freaking me out. And then, I had to hit the restroom. Given the price of the tickets, that was like a $30 urination."

On sitting poolside at the Paris Hotel & Casino: "Everyone here has fake breasts, except me, which is sad because mine are still biggest."

Don't worry, gang. Sean and his sunburned breasts will be back soon.

Jack's Back (Okay, NOW I get it...)

I've never been a big White Stripes fan, but good lord, this album is a monster. Consider me a convert. My review runs Saturday -- but here's a sneak peek...

Jack White is a man of wild, shrieking impulses. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if his alarm clock woke him up to the howling first minute of Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song. Deemed by critics and fans as the next great guitar god, the 31-year-old ne’er-do-well plays and sings not from his head or heart, but from an unreliable region just south of his rhinestone belt buckle. Ol’ Jack sounds like he’s making it up as he goes.

White, whose influences start with the Delta blues and end in some filthy punk club in his native Detroit, can occasionally be restrained. He produced and played on Loretta Lynn’s masterful Van Lear Rose album — and made her sound like a hellcat only once or twice. Last year, his side project, the Raconteurs, excelled at ’70s-born roots rock; their debut, Broken Boy Soldiers, was endlessly cool and (relatively) safe.

But all bets are off when White reunites the White Stripes, the duo featuring ex-wife Meg White, who plays the drums like Bam-Bam wields a club. The new Icky Thump is the band’s sixth studio effort, and its very first on a major label. But if you’re thinking Jack will calm things down, maybe write a few hits for a larger audience, don’t bother. The man has just made his loudest, toughest, swarthiest album yet, a riff-stuffed jailbreak perfect for a game of Guitar Hero.

Luck Be a Daly Tonight: Best Gambling Songs

I don't leave for Vegas until Saturday -- but I've been short-timing all week. In lieu of grinding out my usual hardcore journalism, I've been studying up on gambling tips. "Always split aces and 8s." Got it. "Always bet on black." Check. "The croupier is flirting with you because you've lost $100 in three minutes." Gotcha. "Plus I'm pretty sure she's a dude." Cool.

Thanks to my well-connected, possibly mafiosan editor, the FF and I scored choice tix to the "LOVE" show at the Mirage. We also have reservations at a swanky joint at the Venetian called Postrio. Sure, a cup of potato-leek soups costs, like, a Hyundai. But the memories I'll have of vomiting it up in a strip joint later that night will last a lifetime.

Anyway, in the spirit of my impending winning streak, here are a few songs about gamblers, high rollers, winners, losers and lords of the buffet:

1) Roll of the Dice -- Bruce Springsteen
2) Two of a Kind, Workin' on a Full House -- Garth Brooks
3) Crapped Out Again -- Keb Mo
4) Queen of Hearts -- Juice Newton
5) Stagger Lee -- Lloyd Price
6) Viva Las Vegas -- ZZ Top
7) Ramblin' Gamblin' Willie -- Bob Dylan
8) The Gambler -- Kenny Rogers
9) Atlantic City -- Bruce Springsteen
10) The Turn of a Friendly Card -- Alan Parsons Project
11) Roll the Bones -- Rush
12) Lucky Town -- Bruce Springsteen

You Give Love a Banjo?

Lost Highway is being called Bon Jovi’s “country” album, but rest assured their new album is more Kenny Chesney than Kenny Rogers. The hirsute Garden Staters have a rabid fan base that doesn’t dig change, so the big, booming arena-pleasers are only lightly twanged with geetars, fiddles and cameos by Big & Rich and LeAnn Rimes. In other words, it’s about as country as Sylvester Stallone in Rhinestone.

Recorded partially in Nashville, the 12-track disc, released yesterday, is big on beer commercials disguised as communal anthems (We Got It Going On, I Love This Town, Summertime) and power ballads ultimately suited for prom night in Passaic (Seat Next to You, Till We Ain’t Strangers Anymore). It’s not very original, but those boys sure can reheat a hook.

Last year Bon Jovi scored a No. 1 hit with a down-south version of Who Says You Can’t Go Home, recorded with Jennifer Nettles of country faves Sugarland. And the new disc, for all its generic oomph, also has a chance of being a smash on both sides of the Mason-Dixon line. Give ’em credit: As such ’80s stars as Van Halen and Motley Crue have ceased being productive, Bon Jovi continues to walk the line.

Plus, tucked in the new mix is the most likable Bon Jovi song in years. Whole Lot of Leavin’ is a roaring breakup tune with an air-guitar special from right-hand man Richie Sambora. Raise your Bics or your cowboy hats. Everyone’s invited to this party.

BON JOVI BONUS: Inspired by the new album, Steve Spears at Stuck in the '80s has put together his Top 5 Bon Jovi songs -- and a few of the WORST. (He really doesn't like Wanted Dead of Alive.) Click here for an '80s fix.

Music for Smoky Basements

Remember that stoner in high school who was smarter than his leather wristbands let on? That's a lot like Queens of the Stone Age. Maybe some of you have been fans of Josh Homme's L.A. rock band for years. Me, I'm coming late to the QOTSA party. But hey, at least I showed up. I'm digging this new disc, and I wish I had paid more attention to them when they opened for the Foo Fighters last year.

Queens of the Stone Age
Album: Era Vulgaris (Interscope)
In stores: Now
Why we care: QOTSA leader Josh Homme might as well have a mullet. He’s an old-school hard-rocker who builds his fuzzed-out songs one mastodonic riff at a time. His albums are as comfortable as fake-wood paneling, a 12-pack of Schlitz and crackling vinyl. You wanna rock? The Queens are money in the bank.
Why we like it: Homme is known for inviting buddies (such as Foo Fighter Dave Grohl) into the studio. Here he calls on the Strokes’ Julian Casablancas and Screaming Tree Mark Lanegan to raise a ruckus. But you never forget that this is Homme’s party: the stuttering guitars (3’s & 7’s), the macho harmonies (Turnin’ on the Screw), the deliciously awkward romance (Make It Wit Chu).
Reminds us of: Derek Zagzoug's basement, 6th grade, Westford, Mass.
Download these: Battery Acid and Make It Wit Chu
Grade: B+

In Sean's Mailbox: Seeking Vegas Tips

Hey gamblers, the FF and I are heading to Vegas this weekend. She's going out for work; I'm going out to lose Lulu's beauty-school money. We're staying at Paris (see left). I've been to Vegas a few times -- including the time when my kidney locked up after bad mai-tais at NYNY and I had to go to a sketchy med center -- but all my memories are appropriately fogged by sin. SO...WHO HAS VEGAS TRAVEL TIPS? You know, besides hitching it up at a drive-thru chapel. The FF doesn't want to sully our love by a cheap-o wedding. That's good, cause I'm not sure the divorce went through on my last marriage.

Anyway, if you have any cool hip places to hit, let me know.

In the meantime, here are the CDs I found in my magic mailbox this morning (fair warning: great chunks of the Bon Jovi sound like a Kenny Chesney album)...

Bon Jovi -- Lost Highway
Acute -- Arms Around a Stranger
Mandisa -- Only the World
The Polyphonic Spree -- The Fragile Army
Shop Boyz -- Rockstar Mentality
Boys Like Girls -- Boys Like Girls
Billy Bob Thornton -- Beautiful Door
Bryan Ferry -- Dylanesque