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July 30, 2007

Red Sox Nation Loves Vanilla Ice

VanillaSo the Feather Sound boys and I went to the Rays-Sox game yesterday. Good one, Dice-K vs. Kazmir. The place was approximately 98.7 percent Boston fans, although the loyal Nation didn't have much to root for. Rays won 5-2 thanks to a prodigious blast by B.J. Upton.

Anyway, after the game, we wandered over to Ferg's, one of the great postgame sports bars in baseball. Soon after we arrived, a curious eddy of Red Sox fans started swirling on the dance floor. Clapping, nodding their heads, they form a circle; this is obviously a ritual, we think. The DJ, who has already played Fenway anthem Sweet Caroline, says the visitors have made another request. There is a buzz, a randy energy in the air...

...and then the song starts. At first I think it's Queen, but no: The Red Sox fans start whoopin' and a-hollerin for Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. Soon, the eddy produces two rugged participants, who strip off their Red Sox shirts and start prowling the parameters of the dance floor, wary of each other, gauging each other's skill, quickness. And then, with the speed of Coco Crisp, but the agility of Carlos Quintana, they start breakdancing, popping, locking, doing the Worm. Their key maneuver is the Hat Toss, in which they hurl their Red Sox hat a few feet away, pretend they can't find it, and then crabwalk to the hat, eliciting great squeals of joy from the Red Sox Nationalists. I grew up in Westford, Mass.; my preteen emotions were based solely on the performance of Red Sox slugger Jim Rice. And yet, I had never seen the crabwalk.

The Rays fans could only look on with envy, desperate for a ritual of their own. 

July 27, 2007

Best Duets of All Time

EternityThis fall, the Forever Fiancee and I will celebrate our 14th (more or less) anniversary. We met as reporters for competing newspapers in Ocean City, Md.; we totally made out on our first date. We were both 23. We took a breather (more or less) for patches over the years, including my destructive Lusty Red Walls period in the early '00s, which finally ended when the FF broke into my Washington, D.C. quarters and performed her seductive Copacabana dance, a highly controversial series of Barry Manilow-intensive booty-shaking maneuvers that left me all but defenseless. Soon enough, Kid Lulu was percolating.

The FF and I are catching a heap of crap lately for the whole "not married" thingie. But I've given full clearance to my pals in Feather Sound to suprise us some night with a preacher and a 12-pack of beer. If I showed up, and there was some dude ready to marry us (and there was a 12-pack), I'd do it in a heartbeat. I would.

EndlessBut what I'm REALLY worried about is that first-dance song. You can't kickstart the marriage with a lousy song. I was thinking a duet might be appropriate. But which one? So I started brainstorming the best duets. They came fast and furious; I'm a sucker for soft hits. The first one listed here might be right -- although Don't Fight It would work, too.

Anyway, here you go, THE BEST DUETS OF ALL TIME:    

Stop Draggin' My Heart Around -- Tom Petty & Stevie Nicks
Endless Love -- Lionel Richie & Diana Ross
You Don't Bring Me Flowers -- Neil Diamond & Barbra Streisand
Crying -- Roy Orbison & k.d. lang
Islands in the Stream -- Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton
Don't Go Breaking My Heart -- Elton John & Kiki Dee
You're All I Need to Get By -- Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell
Leather and Lace -- Don Henley & Stevie Nicks
Under Pressure -- David Bowie & Freddie Mercury
Don't Fight It -- Kenny Loggins & Steve Perry
The Closer I Get to You -- Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway
Too Much Too Little Too Late -- Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams
What Kind of Fool -- Barry Gibb & Barbra Streisand
I'll Be There for You/You're All I Need to Get By --Mary J. Blige & Method Man
This Is Us -- Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris
On My Own -- Michael McDonald & Patti LaBelle
Summer Nights -- Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta
Close My Eyes Forever -- Ozzy Osbourne & Lita Ford
Here We Go Again -- Ray Charles & Norah Jones
Say Say Say -- Paul McCartney & Michael Jackson

July 26, 2007

Nikki Sixx's "The Heroin Diaries"

Nikkiblood_fullThe greatest rock 'n' roll tell-all? That's easy. Motley Crue's The Dirt, especially the first 250 pages. The band's collective disregard for human life and adventures in drug-hoovering is shocking, atrocious, criminal. But unlike 99-percent of showbiz tell-alls, the boys are brutally honest in their excess. Tommy is the horny monkey boy, Vince is the cold-blooded ladykiller, Mick is a homunculitic outcast -- but the surprise is the smarts and storytelling verve of bassist Nikki Sixx, who reveals that he actually DIED from a heroin overdose, but managed to fight the white light and return.

Anyway, this Sept. 18, Sixx will publish a sorta-sequel to The Dirt called The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star. There's also an accompanying soundtrack. They've sent me the disc and parts of the book. Shocking, atrocious, criminal. Here we go again.

If you want to read a disturbing excerpt of the new book -- in which he does REALLY BAD THINGS with former Prince flame Vanity -- click on the link just below.

Continue reading "Nikki Sixx's "The Heroin Diaries" " »

July 25, 2007

The New Prince Album Kinda Blows

PrinceThe party is over. Someone apparently broke Prince's bass. After two booty-bumping comeback albums — 2004's Musicology and last year's underrated 3121 — everyone’s favorite gnomish funk pirate has decided to cut the fun and make a tinny rock and R&B album that sounds DOA circa DeBarge. With the exception of one great guitar spazz-out, Planet Earth is, lo and behold, boring. In other words, the Purple One, so good at playing music from the waist down, has decided to make an album from the neck up. From the apocalyptic claptrap of the title track to an endless assortment of milquetoast slow jams (make-out music? -- Prince doesn't make out!), he fires off nary a hip-thrusty groove. The album's sole downloadable goodie is Guitar, a decent air-guitar jam that still wouldn't crack a greatest-hits box set. Forgettable is the nicest thing to say about Planet Earth.

July 23, 2007

Why Fight It? The Harry Potter Mix

PotterMy daughter isn't even four yet, but Kid Lulu, presumably through juvenile osmosis, was infected with full-on Harry Potter fever last weekend. It was kinda cute for awhile, until she (1) wacked me in the crotch with a broomstick and then (2) demanded that I lift both her and said broomstick up and fly her around the house like a Quidditch star, thus ensuring a hernia in her wheezy Old Man and black scuff marks on most of our white walls. Oh well.

One of the things I like most about J.K. Rowling, and why I don't mind all the hype, is that she's an obvious newspaper reader. Her characters are always checking out the Daily Prophet. I like that. Newspapers are in disarray these days, so any rah-rah for the biz is welcomed. Maybe as a result, more kids will pick up the paper, read my stories and then call me and tell me how much I suck. One can only hope.

Because I'm always on the lookout for a cheap playlist tie-in, let's do a Harry Potter Mix, something for the nerds to listen to when they write their creepy fan fiction about Ron and Harry in a Diagon Alley bathhouse. Crank it up, you horny Muggles:

1) That Old Black Magic -- Ella Fitzgerald
2) Abracadabra -- Steve Miller Band
3) The Wizard -- Black Sabbath
4) Don't Mess With the Dragon -- Ozomatli
5) White Unicorn -- Wolfmother
6) Witchy Woman -- the Eagles
7) Scars -- Papa Roach
8) I Put a Spell on You -- Screamin' Jay Hawkins
9) Curse -- Audioslave
10) Let's Hear It for the Boy -- Deniece Williams

That's "Vavoomishly" (Beyonce Review)

BTAMPA -- She's only 25 years old, but after nights like this, she must feel 50.

It's not easy being Beyonce these days. Sure, she's incredibly rich, she's vavoomishly beautiful and, unlike many of her peers, she has talent and can actually spell t-a-l-e-n-t. But her Saturday show at the St. Pete Times Forum was a reminder that these are fickle days in the music biz.

Ms. Knowles, who has topped the charts with R&B trio Destiny's Child and as a solo artist, drew just a few thousand fans to her local stop at a joint that seats more than 20,000.

Attendance figures were not made available, but before the show, fans in the upper levels were invited to wander down to the first level and floor, which I have NEVER seen done at a Forum show. It should have been pandemonium, but it wasn't, another sign that plenty of seats were available.

You can blame it on the rainy weather. But the truth is that these are the downloadable days of disposable pop, when staying power means two weeks on the charts and maybe a date with Avril Lavigne.

You don't even have to be all that talented, but it helps to be cute. Take, for instance, opening act Robin Thicke, with his Kmart Justin Timberlake routine. You know what Thicke's really good at? Breathing heavy. Oh yeah, he's like the Darth Vader of lame R&B. I give him another month.

Beyonce knows the only way to stay on top is to work hard. And that's exactly what she did.

Continue reading "That's "Vavoomishly" (Beyonce Review)" »

July 20, 2007

You Say It's Your B'day...It's My B'day, Too

Beyoncealt

I'm not gonna lie to you: Beyonce really does it for me. Her last album was kinda lame -- and yet, this picture from the liner notes of her last album was not. Look at those gators! Look at those heels! My girl B can sing, she can dance -- and her coconut-cracking gams are superheroic in build. A national treasure, I say! She's only 25 years old, but I bet she feels older, with all the Rihannas and such nipping at her diva heels. Poor thing. I'm here for you, baby girl. I'm here for you.

Anyway, on Saturday night, I'll be reviewing "The Beyonce Experience" at the St. Pete Times Forum. Ms. Knowles comes on at 9:15, and plays (or does whatever Beyonce does) until 11:15. I really only posted this blogation in order to run saucy pix, but for anyone who might care in the slightest, here is her setlist for the show, which has been printed in a few places. Let's go get 'em, B:

"Crazy in Love"
"Freakum Dress"
"Green Light"
"Baby Boy"/"Murder She Wrote"
"Beautiful Liar"
"Naughty Girl"
"Me, Myself and I"
Beyonceswim
"Dangerously in Love 2/He Loves Me"
"Flaws And All"
Destiny's Child Medley
"Speechless"
"Ring the Alarm"
"Suga Mama"
"Upgrade U"
"'03 Bonnie & Clyde"
"Check on It"
"Get Me Bodied"
"Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friends/Dreamgirls"
"Listen"
"Irreplaceable"
"Deja Vu"

July 19, 2007

Cinder Road Rulz

HotcinderroadI saw these dudes from Timonium, Md., open up for Chris Daughtry a few months ago — and immediately, the suburban-dirtball gene in my DNA kicked into overdrive. Cinder Road, which plays St. Pete on Saturday, can’t be much older than my rippiest pair of Levis, but they play like ’80s hair-metal gods, all hip-thrusts and lascivious licks and plaintive howls. It's the headbanger equivalent of comfort food.

Lead singer Mike Ruocco, the dude in the middle, looks a little like Christina Ricci, which totally confuses me sexually. But I can overlook that (or at least ignore it until I need therapy) and tap into their Ratt 'n' Roll aesthetic. You do know how to Ratt 'n' Roll, right?

Cinderroadlogo_2I'm also convinced Cinder Road could kick the sh-- out of Nickelback in a streetfight. Not that they play the same music. Nickelback blows -- Cinder Road rocks. But Nickelback seems to be the metal of the moment, which is sad. Cinder Road is tried-and-true glam-metal, which obviously means that Timonium, Md., is the new Sunset Strip, which I suspected all along.

To hear music clips, you can go here.

Cinder Road, with Candlebox, plays Saturday, July 21 at 8 p.m. Jannus Landing, 16 Second St. N, St. Petersburg. $19.50 advance, $23 day of show. (727) 896-2276.

July 18, 2007

10 Best TV Theme Songs

GarnerJust recorded a podcast with Times TV critic Eric Deggans, who is currently out in L.A. at the TV Writers Liquor 'n' Hype-a-thon, where talented tube scribes get schmoozed and boozed by major broadcast networks. Eric is staying at the Beverly Hilton; they are no doubt fanning him and feeding him grapes, as well. Eric spins some good yarns, so definitely check out the podcast. We'll be recording a new podcast every day, my jealousy, my envy, my rage reaching new fevery peaks each episode.

In the meantime, I'm feeling inspired. Let's talk TV themes. THE 10 BEST TV THEMES, that is. I'm a big fan of Mike Post, so you'll find a lot of his work on here, including two in the top spots. I'm basically disqualifying pre-existing songs a la the Who hits for the CSI franchise. That said, Quincy Jones is getting on here, rules be damned. I also have no idea who wrote a couple of these. (In Search Of..., anybody?) So basically, the rules are loose, just like my morals and grasp of journalism. So here you go...

San508sanfordandsonyoubigdummyposte10) The A-Team Theme -- Mike Post and Pete Carpenter
9) The Dick Van Dyke Show -- ???
8) Meet the Flintstones -- lyrics by William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, music by Hoyt Curtin
7) Hill Street Blues -- Mike Post
6) Miami Vice -- Jan Hammer
5) The Greatest American Hero -- Mike Post (sung by Joey Scarbury)
4) In Search Of... -- ????Maybe Leonard Nimoy????
3) Sanford and Son -- Quincy Jones (theme's real name is called The Streetbeater, I believe)
2) Magnum, P.I. -- Mike Post
1) The Rockford Files -- Mike Post

July 17, 2007

Carrie Underpants Returns

LegsThis blogation is really just a sad, horny way for me to run Carrie Underwood pix. I just got this PR hype from her peeps. New album out Oct. 23. This press release is basically worthless -- which is pretty much like the 500 other press releases I get every day. And yet, here it is...

"Nashville, TN – One of this year’s most anticipated albums is set for release October 23, as two-time GRAMMY winner and reigning CMA and ACM Female Vocalist Carrie Underwood delivers her new 19 Recordings/Arista Records/Arista Nashville collection – the follow-up to her multi-award-winning juggernaut debut, Some Hearts.

The massive, cross-format success of Some Hearts scored at country and pop radio with four #1 country airplay singles and Top 10 success at Hot AC and Mainstream Top 40, while the album soared to six-times Platinum certification, becoming one of only two country debuts in history ever to reach that milestone.

CarrieunderwoodhotpantsProduced by Mark Bright, who helmed seven tracks on Some Hearts, the to-be-titled new disc is currently being completed, but will include additional songwriting from Carrie, who co-penned the album track, "I Ain’t in Checotah Anymore," on Some Hearts.

Released November 15, 2005, Carrie’s Some Hearts has been #1 for a remarkable 27 of its 86 chart weeks – holding the #1 slot on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart across multiple weeks in 2005, 2006, and 2007. With SoundScan sales of nearly 1,095,000 copies this year alone, Some Hearts is – 20 months after its release – the best-selling country album of 2007."

In Sean's Mailbox: Country Ham Fallout

Otisredding3thWow. I feel lousy. This is partly because Kid Lulu abandoned her wee bed and slept up on me all night long, clingy and happy to have her Old Man home. But for the most part, my creaking, wheezy, salty, liver-throbbing malaise is caused by Bluff City aftershock, too much Memphis (and Arcade country ham and Gus's fried chicken and Rendezvous slabs and Flying Fish catfish) in too little time. Again: that city is sumpin' else. But I can't turn it loose. I bought a bunch of Memphis music there -- including Otis Redding on blessed vinyl -- and I'm dying to pig out on it. But first I need to open myriad packages waiting on my desk. Here goes:

Bob Marley and the Wailers -- Roots, Rock, Remixed
Norah Jones, Feist -- The Hottest State Soundtrack
Fionn Regan -- The End of History
Plain White T's -- Every Second Counts
Pussycat Dolls, Vanessa Hudgens -- Girl Next: Vol 2
The Holloways -- So This Is Great Britain
Rawsrvnt -- In Rare Form
Yellowcard -- Paper Walls
Hans Zimmer -- The Simpsons Movie: The Music
Rooney -- Calling the World
Minnie Driver -- Seastories
Stephen Stills -- Just Roll Tape
The Monkees -- Headquarters
The Monkees -- Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd.

July 16, 2007

"MEMPHIS: This Town Is Trying to Kill Me..."

Hazels...that's what I wrote on the notepad next to my bed after getting back to the Peabody Hotel at 4 a.m. Saturday, my head spinning with jukebox riffs, Soulburger fumes and perilous adventures with a good ol'-boy, an unlikely movie star and two 21-year-old Tampa students who had road-tripped to Earnestine & Hazel's (formerly a brothel, now just about the coolest, oldest, most honest bar in the world) to commune with the spirits. Good lord, what a night.

Ace photographer Daniel Wallace and I had a helluva time in Memphis -- going to Sun, Stax, Rendezvous, Shangri-La, etc -- and the stories will tumble out over time (although maybe not the one of me almost dying Elvis-style at Graceland after a long night of Bud and fried chicken).

For now, I just got home and need to rest/detox/pray. I have the coolest job in the world -- and although you might not believe us, we worked our butts off. Memphis is a different world, a city happy to show off its past -- and not gussy itself up for the future. It's not for everybody -- but it's definitely for me.

By the way, who out there has been to Graceland Too, the Elvis shrine/asylum down in Holly Springs, Mississippi? Wow. We need to talk...

July 12, 2007

Goin' to See the King...

Elvis_graceland_2Just bought my tickets for the Graceland tour: 11:30 a.m. this Saturday, the "platinum" package, which I'm pretty sure gets me a date with Lisa Marie. Better iron my fancy pants.

When I return from Memphis, I'll no doubt have stories involving a dwarf Elvis impersonator, gastrointestinal distress brought on by epic pounds of BBQ (my gastrointestinal distress, not the dwarf's) and besotted tomfoolery from the birthplace of rock 'n' roll, aka Soulsville USA. The travel story (Stax! Sun! Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken!) will run in August, closer to the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death (Aug. 16).

Now I gotta go pack. I'll check in with you guys in a bit...

The Police (or, How Spears Was Wrong)

Tb_police_450TAMPA -- They were only together for six or seven years. They stayed broken up, fractured, stubborn for almost 24. But like a certain fab Brit band before them, the Police packed a whole lot of legend in a short amount of time, a compact rock legacy making this summer's 30th anniversary/when-pigs-fly reunion tour one of the musical events of the year.

It was our turn to honor the Police on Wednesday -- an expensive privilege to be sure - as a sold-out crowd of 21,077 stuffed the St. Pete Times Forum to see the brainy rock trio. There they were: vainglorious mouthpiece Sting, still name-dropping Nabokov; guitarist Andy Summers, gnomish and prickly; polyrhythmically agile drummer Stewart Copeland, keeping the boys juiced.

You no doubt know the backstory: The three dudes don't like each other all that much. There's already been bickering. They're getting paid gobs of moola to finally share a stage again face value for primo seats was $226. Will they even make it to the end of the tour?

But backstory is one thing - back catalog is another, especially when it's being sold to you with professional gusto and earnest effort. From the opening riff of Message in a Bottle, the fans -- predominantly older, richer, polo-shirted -- were in love.

Oh my, do the Police have some killer songs, more than 20 of which they rocketed out boom-boom-boom over the course of a two-hour show. And although the aging legends have replaced some of the punk-reggae moxie of their younger selves with a jazzy, jammy sound, they can still deliver the goods, just the three musicians, no backing help, touching on all their albums but paying particular attention to 1983's iconic Synchronicity.

The general appeal of the Police is akin to, say, The Da Vinci Code: crowd-pleasing entertainment that makes you feel smarter as you sing along. Second song Synchronicity II is all about the interconnectedness of life, but it also made for a ferocious headbanger, with Sting's trademark plaintive wail arguably as pure as it has ever been.

And despite their pedagogical reps, the boys do in fact know how to cut loose: The buoyant Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic might have been the sing-along of the night - although Wrapped Around Your Finger, given a spooky sheen by Copeland's full arsenal of gongs, cymbals and tinkly things, was a robust crowd fave, too.

The band's focal point will forever be Sting, who, at 55 years old, obviously has guzzling access to the fountain of youth. Sheesh, this guy. Phenomenally fit in tight T-shirt, snug jeans and black boots, he stood tall and hunky, his tan biceps toned, a smirky rock star fully aware of his magnetism. (Am I gushing?) He gave his voice a full workout, too, hitting and holding all the notes on Don't Stand So Close to Me and De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da.

But give credit to the Other Two. On Voices Inside My Head -- which was great to hear primarily because it's the rare Police song not played to death on the radio -- the 54-year-old Copeland mixed in rifle-shot snares with alternating hypnotic beats, taking the tempo-mad tune through both rock and jazz moods.

Summers, the band's elder statesman at 64, may look grumpy most of the time, but without him and his fire-alarm licks countering Sting's shamanistic wanderings, the band would be lost. He added particular feisty energy to an extended Can't Stand Losing You.

As the night wore on, the hits got bigger. I'd be fine if I never heard Roxanne again, but with the stage bathed in a lascivious red glow, fans fell out of their chairs cheering for it. Two encores followed, the first including the transcendent King of Pain and So Lonely. The show closed with stalker ode Every Breath You Take and the raucous Next to You, from their first album. When the house lights went up, the crowd was still clapping, cheering, appreciating, not sure if they'd ever get the chance again.

Photo: Daniel Wallace 

July 11, 2007

Fits Like a Velvet Glove

Velvet

Ever notice how all of Slash's guitar solos sound like national anthems for Eastern Bloc countries? Whenever Slither plays, I imagine someone in Albania saluting and weeping.

So...I've listened to the new Velvet Revolver album a few times now, cranking it up in the MAZD (they left the "A" off for savings). And although I like Libertad, I'm not sure I could name one song title. (American Man? Yeah, that sounds about right. Oh, and they do a pretty good cover of ELO's Can't Get It Out of My Head.) The album can only be processed in one large jumble, like a late-'80s glam-metal festival, or a plateful of Little Debbie snacks. Scott Weiland, typically a cloying artiste, sounds low in the mix, which is fine with me. Neither he nor his awful lyrics deserve much credit. The best part of Libertad is Slash, who rips up the album, a restless pugilist looking for a scrum. The way his solos explode is a thing of ugly beauty. He's worth the price of admission alone. If you're a suburban dirtball, or an old Gunners fan searching for a comfy place to rest, you'll dig the new VR.

July 10, 2007

BLOG BATTLE! The Police Show -- Go or No?

Police"Another industrial ugly morning / Steve Spears belches filth into the sky / He walks pantsless through a blog battle today / He doesn't think to wonder why."

My resoundingly hirsute '80s apologist is sweatin' and gamblin' in Las Vegas this week, but instead of enjoying the 117-degree heat and comped mai tais, Steve Spears has sequestered himself in a hotel room in order to throw down a blog battle: The Police Concert -- Worth the Money or a Waste of Cash? Enraged, incensed, engorged, Steve, a noted Police hater, says his money would be better spent on slot machines and/or hookers ("theoretically," he adds). I say the Police show, coming this Wednesday to the St. Pete Times Forum, is the must-see event of the summer, a pop-cultural moment to be savored by all. Truth be told, I'm not even a rabid Police fan. But you gotta be there, right?

So as Steve lines up for another round at the All-Nude Buffet ("99-cent shrimp cocktail and lap dances!!!"), let us commence blog-battling: The Police Concert: Go or No?

Sean's 3 Reasons to See the Police Show
1.
Sting's sweat. Seriously, the man's perspiration is obviously infused with supernatural healing powers. Have you seen him lately? He's hunkier now than he was in 1985. Get spritzed by Sting's sweat, and you're looking at an extra 10 years. I'd say that's worth $226.75. (As a bonus, it also has the power to make you relevant again -- just ask Stew and Andy.)
2. Synchronicity II. I've seen the setlist, and it's packed with crowd-pleasers 25 deep. Let's just say the boys aren't dicking around with obscure album cuts a la Miss Gradenko. And I'm happy to report that Synchronicity II, a ferocious condemnation of suburban malaise (not to mention the interconnectedness of something or other), and arguably the trio's artistic height, should come early in the show, giving the gig unstoppable momentum. Am I the only music geek getting chills?
3. There's great, life-affirming bragging rights in saying YOU WERE THERE. It's as simple as that. Regrets are for people like Steve Spears, the walking cautionary tale, clutching his belly at 3 a.m. Vegas time after all-you-can-eating the prime rib at Bob's Casino.

If you want to read Steve's reasons to skip the Police how -- or offer your condolences to his colon -- go here.

July 09, 2007

The Unbearable Lightness of Kelly

KellyOn Saturday, a young woman called me at work...and wished cancer upon me. How's that for reader reaction? I've had threats of violence, I've had a woman call me "the Rush Limbaugh of rock criticism," but I've never had threats of disease. Then, as if she hadn't gotten her point across, she told me to -- and I'm quoting here -- "Suck it! Suck it! Suck it!" Apparently, she was rather upset about Saturday's column, in which I said it was no coincidence that Clarkson and Idol were losing fans at the same time. (You can read that here.) Then, on Sunday, I reviewed the American Idols Live! concert, which was one of the worst things I've ever heard at the St. Pete Times Forum, bathrooms included. (You can read that here.) I was expecting a deluge of readers angry about the review, but lo and behold, most of them agreed with me. They'll protect Idol to the death -- just not when it costs them $75.

July 06, 2007

Damn You, Ponies. Damn You All to Hell

Mylittleevilpony4I had such plans for my daughter. Her core entertainment would be books: Dr. Seuss, Richard Scarry, Robert McCloskey. But I wasn't naive. I knew there'd be television, too. So I'd allow only the finest in animated entertainment. Disney, Pixar, Looney Tunes. No Care Bears in my house. No Strawberry Shortcake, either. And certainly none of those 3-for-$5 generic Wal-Mart knockoffs such as The Wee Mermaid or Finding Remo. My daughter's beautiful brain would be enhanced by the most inventive minds in animation.

And then the ponies showed up. My Little Pony. Mystical galloping equine terrors, chirping tinkly songs, spouting New Age claptrap. Her grandmother was the enabler: DVDs, toys, coloring books, stickers. My daughter became crazed. I tried to reason with her, that 3-year-old bundle of blonde curls, but it was useless.

"Should we read The Lorax?"

"No, ponies!"

"Should we watch Pinocchio?"

"I SAID PONIES, OLD MAN!!!!"

So alas, the ponies have won, mocking me with their rainbow manes and smug smiles. I never saw it coming. Maybe I should have. But I didn't. Well played, ponies. Well played.

My Little Pony Live! comes to Ruth Eckerd Hall, 1111 McMullen-Booth Road, Clearwater, for shows at 7 p.m. Friday, 10:30 a.m. and 2 p.m. Saturday and 1:30 p.m. Sunday. $14-$18. (727) 791-7400

Sean's Naked 'n' Sweaty (But Just Friends) Mix

RihannateenpeopleSo my Feather Sound neighbors are always busting my chops for being a lousy DJ. Whenever I whip up a new mix for a block party, the boobirds are out early. ("What is this crap?!" "April March. It's called Chick Habit." "Sh-- Habit is more like it! Get Daly away from the stereo!")

I don't give up easy tho. On Wednesday, the 'hood was inundated with people for Erin and Chris' awesome July 4th Red, White and Spew Party. I came late 'cause I was throwing together the mix to top 'em all, a blend of rock, dance, 'tude, crowd-pleasers and sinsanity. From what I could tell -- the head nods, the eruptions of glee, the lack of name-calling -- this was my best mix yet. And I'd like to share it with you. So here it is...

Sean's Naked 'n' Sweaty (But Just Friends) Mix
1) Song 2 -- Blur
2) Instant Karma -- U2
3) Superhero -- Jane's Addiction (aka the Entourage theme)
4) What I Want -- Chris Daughtry & Slash
5) Don't Bring Me Down -- ELO
6) A Little Less Conversation -- Elvis Presley
7) American Idiot -- Green Day
8) And the Cradle Will Rock... -- Van Halen
9) You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do What You're Told) -- the White Stripes
10) Over My Head (Cable Car) -- the Fray
11) (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding -- Elvis Costello
12) Breakin' Dishes -- Rihanna
13) Jungle Love -- the Time
14) Candyman -- Christina Aguilera
15) I Wanna Rock -- Twisted Sister
16) Stone in Love -- Journey
17) Give It to Me -- Timbaland
18) Everything's Just Wonderful -- Lily Allen
19) Rock and Roll -- Jerry Lee Lewis & Jimmy Page
20) Baby Makin' Hips -- Fantasia
21) Money Maker -- Ludacris

July 05, 2007

Meet Me in Memphis

Fat20elvisI'm Goin' to Graceland...

Next weekend, photographer Daniel Wallace and I will be flying to Memphis for a feature/travel story on the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death and related rock 'n' rollery.

I've never gone swingin' in the Jungle Room before, so I'm looking for hot TRAVEL TIPS, the weirder and more offbeat the better. Great BBQ joints, bars, music emporiums, etc.

By the way, I kinda look like Fat Elvis, don't I? Or maybe I just look fat.

MEMPHIS TRAVEL TIPS...WHO'S GOT 'EM?

July 03, 2007

My Patriotic iPod

Gqfeature1vI love watching the Olympics with my mother. Whenever the mighty USA crushes another opponent in bobsledding or rifle toss or whatever, she sobs during the medal ceremony, a patriotic rush of pride. It's not obnoxious. It's not jingoistic. She's proud. It's old-school. I like that. Believe me: She's a Kennedy liberal, and is sick about the current powers that be. But my mother is also very patriotic. She loves her country, as bullyish and awful as it might behave. So rest assured, sometime tomorrow, between the Maryland crab feast and the fireworks, she'll shed a few red, white and blue tears on this Fourth of July. You can count on it.

I wish I could be patriotic like that. When I watch the Olympics, I root for Jamaica. I take our success, and our strength, for granted. But gazing at my iPod, I see some American pride on there. I do. I see it. In some strange and subtle ways. So as we BBQ and raise hell on this Fourth of July, here are some patriotic songs nestled on my iPod. Feel free to share your own favorites (or acerbic political statements):

Lindsey Buckingham -- Dancing Across the U.S.A.
Arthur Fiedler -- Stars and Stripes, Fifth Campaign: Finale: The Stars and Stripes Forever
Night Ranger -- (You Can Still) Rock in America
John Mellencamp -- Justice and Independence '85
Shooter Jennings -- 4th of July
Randy Newman -- Ragtime
2 Live Crew -- Banned in the USA
Leonard Bernstein/New York Philharmonic -- Rodeo: IV -- Hoe-Down
Neil Diamond -- America
Rufus Wainwright -- Going to a Town
Chris Isaak -- American Boy
Simon and Garfunkel -- America
Chuck Berry -- Route 66

Fun With Setlists: AC/DC

Act22largeDespite the fact that my body is teeming with snotty disease, I'm still pretty pumped about seeing AC/DC's Brian Johnson and Cliff Williams -- plus special guests Robin Zander and Eddie Money -- tonight at Ruth Eckerd Hall. I've never seen AC/DC before, and although this all-star charity gig for the John Entwistle Foundation isn't the same thing, it's close enough for me to bliss out for a few hours.

There's also a chance I'lll get to meet Brian and the boys backstage -- just another perk of knowing Steve Spears, who'll be sweating next to me at the show. We interviewed Brian Johnson the other day, but I didn't get a chance to give him my dream setlist. So here it is, starting with those tinnitus-inducing cannons...

INTRO
For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)
Sink the Pink
Problem Child
Girls Got Rhythm
I Put the Finger on You
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Shake a Leg
If You Want Blood (You've Got It)

Shoot to Thrill
Money Talks
Shake Your Foundations
T.N.T.

Back in Black
Thunderstruck

ENCORE

Hell's Bells
You Shook Me All Night Long
Highway to Hell

About This Blog

Sean Daly is the pop music critic for the St. Petersburg Times. His CD collection -- from Journey to Dylan, Prince to U2, Public Enemy to Stan Getz -- is much bigger and better than yours.

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