That's "Vavoomishly" (Beyonce Review)

TAMPA -- She's only 25 years old, but after nights like this, she must feel 50.

It's not easy being Beyonce these days. Sure, she's incredibly rich, she's vavoomishly beautiful and, unlike many of her peers, she has talent and can actually spell t-a-l-e-n-t. But her Saturday show at the St. Pete Times Forum was a reminder that these are fickle days in the music biz.

Ms. Knowles, who has topped the charts with R&B trio Destiny's Child and as a solo artist, drew just a few thousand fans to her local stop at a joint that seats more than 20,000.

Attendance figures were not made available, but before the show, fans in the upper levels were invited to wander down to the first level and floor, which I have NEVER seen done at a Forum show. It should have been pandemonium, but it wasn't, another sign that plenty of seats were available.

You can blame it on the rainy weather. But the truth is that these are the downloadable days of disposable pop, when staying power means two weeks on the charts and maybe a date with Avril Lavigne.

You don't even have to be all that talented, but it helps to be cute. Take, for instance, opening act Robin Thicke, with his Kmart Justin Timberlake routine. You know what Thicke's really good at? Breathing heavy. Oh yeah, he's like the Darth Vader of lame R&B. I give him another month.

Beyonce knows the only way to stay on top is to work hard. And that's exactly what she did.

For two hours, she focused almost exclusively on her solo albums, which, to be brutally honest, have been scattershot affairs at best. But despite the so-so solo material and the poor attendance, she strutted as if her diva license was not in danger of being revoked.

The show was called The Beyonce Experience, but 2007: A Beyonce Odyssey was just as appropriate. She first appeared onstage to majestic orchestration, her Olympian physique suddenly illuminated in a smoky ray of spotlight. She then lifted her arms to the heavens, a classic Beyonce armpit pose, and was backlit by a shower of sparks. (At an earlier show in St. Louis, fans were injured by that opening pyro. No medics were needed here, though.)

And then Beyonce, a hip-hop dynamo, was never still again.

With her 13-piece all-female band behind her, plus half-nekkid male and female dancers - plus deliciously plump, proud background singers - Beyonce opened with Crazy in Love, her biggest, catchiest hit. "Listen!" she barked at the crowd, going off on exaggerated vocal runs and showing fans that she's no lip-syncer. She then stripped off the bottom half of her silver gown, revealing thighs that would make Wonder Woman weep. She then tucked in a snippet of Gnarls Barkley's Crazy. And that was just the first song!

That's how it went, the music ranging from fun (Freakum Dress) to tolerable (Dangerously in Love 2), the spectacle ranging from over- the-top to what-the-heck? Beyonce went through at least five costume changes, each one nakeder and nakeder, including a green-bra-and- not-much-else number for Baby Boy and Beautiful Liar. At one point she even dropped in front of her soloing guitarist and flopped around deliriously. Gulp.

The biggest fan response came during a medley of Destiny's Child hits: Bootylicious, Soldier, Survivor, and more. She performed all of these in a bejeweled golden leotard, her Beyonceness on full display. The crowd loved it.

Give Beyonce credit. All night long she played as if the place was packed. And by the time she got to the awesomely ferocious Ring the Alarm, daring anyone to mess with her, you realized counting this woman out would be a big mistake.

Comments

[Ashley]

You are pitiful. Her show was awesome and there were limited seats available. Name me another singer who can sellout any shows and give a show. Don't say janet or madonna cause nobody aint checkin for their old asses no more. Get a life HAter

[Elisa]

i would have to agree that he is pitiful ;)