Sean's Vacation: Deep Introspection

I'm feeling very vulnerable right now. Could you hold me? Just for a minute? Just to let me know it's going to be okay? Hey, stop being so grabby. Can't we just cuddle? I'm about to reveal to you THE MOST PLAYED SONGS ON MY IPOD, my inner-sanctum, my chamber of deep, dark secrets involving Wayne Newton. But this blog is built on honesty and sharing and gratuitous pix of hot chicks. That's why billions come back every week. So here are the most-played songs on my iPod, an unfettered view into my bizarro, rather mushy psyche...

10.) Everybody Loves To Cha Cha Cha -- Sam Cooke
9.) Run To Me -- Raul Malo
8.) Things Have Changed -- Bob Dylan
7.) Chick Habit -- April March
6.) Saturday Night -- Bay City Rollers
5.) Crying -- Roy Orbison & k.d. lang
4.) Tell It Like It Is -- Neville Brothers
3.) Over My Head (Cable Car) -- The Fray
2.) Shoot to Thrill -- AC/DC
1.) Danke Schoen -- Wayne Newton

Sean's Vacation: Day One

Taught Kid Lulu how to do a classic "spit take," a golden staple of Borscht Belt comedy. She was spraying water all over the bathroom. I was really proud of her. Tonight we'll finish her vaudeville routine with some soft shoe and her new catchphrase: "A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants."

(Jeez, I'm bored already. Anybody wanna get a beer? Thursday happy hour, I'm buying.)

See Ya Later, Suckers...

Today, at precisely 5:01 p.m., is the start of my vacation -- a "staycation," if you will -- until September 10.

The Forever Fiancee, Kid Lulu and I were supposed to fly up north. But due to a TWIST TO BE REVEALED LATER, we have to stay put. But I'm still taking my days off. I need them...desperately.

I'm gonna head to the beach for a couple of days, bring a six-pack, my iPod and Peter Guralnick's Elvis books. Maybe hit Sea World or Universal. Or I might just hole up at the Courtside Grille and drink heartily. If you see me, say hello.

I'm going to avoid any and all serious writing, but I'll post some new blogs here and there. I want to keep in touch. After all, I figure one of you will have to bail me out of jail sooner or later. (I'm looking at you, Bassnote.)

Anyway, to send me off in style, here's Sean's "You're Wife's on My Whammo" Vacation Mix: 

1. Holiday Road -- Lindsey Buckingham
2. In the Summertime -- Shaggy
3. Ain't Going Down (Till the Sun Comes Up) -- Garth Brooks
4. Catch the Sun -- Doves
5. Good Times -- INXS & Jimmy Barnes
6. Carpe Beachum -- Paul Haslinger
7. Dancing Across the U.S.A. -- Lindsey Buckingham
8. Clambake -- Elvis Presley
9. Just Like Paradise -- David Lee Roth
10. Walk Between the Raindrops -- Donald Fagen

Jenny Lewis Makes Me Feel Funny Inside

Here's my review of the new Rilo Kiley album, Under the Blacklight. (Isn't Jenny so L.A. sexy?) Not sure when the full story will run, but I'm sure when it does, Some Old Reader will fire up his Gutenberg press and send me a letter about how I'm killing the newspaper industry. Sad thing is, Some Old Reader pays my salary.

She’s on the cover of every other music magazine. She’s lusted after by every other indie kid. A former child actor on Baywatch and The Golden Girls, she understands Lindsay better than you ever could; a current pop pinup with boy troubles, she probably has Britney figured out, too. She’s not yet a household name, but that has more to do with her desires than yours. A stunning redhead, she both loves and despises her native California — and loves to write about it.

Jenny Lewis, an actor-turned-musician, is the lead singer of L.A.’s Rilo Kiley, a modestly successful art-pop band with a small, feverish and incredibly hip fanbase. Lewis and her three bandmates (including ex-boyfriend, lead guitarist and writing partner Blake Sennett) recently signed with Warner Bros., making new album Under the Blacklight their true major-label debut.

But fans who fear the band has "sold out" shouldn’t worry: If anything, Rilo Kiley has sharpened its insider analysis of Young Hollywood and our obsession with celebrity. (Sennett was a child actor, as well.) Upping the voyeuristic ante are a few songs in which Lewis and former flame Sennett air out their curious relationship —before the tabloids do it for them. The album is almost always a sharp, sexy cautionary tale (pay attention, Paris), with just a few tracks that lose their bite.

At 31, Lewis is old enough to scold La-La-Land hellions for their wicked ways — but still young enough to remember how exciting being a kid in the pop-culture candy store used to feel. That perspective proves essential. Rilo Kiley recently cast porn stars in the video for The Moneymaker, the first single from Under the Blacklight. The vid, which is already getting serious YouTube attention, and the song are equally hot and horrifying...

Boss Announces Tour, Skips Florida

UPDATE: SPRINGSTEEN'S NEW SINGLE RADIO NOWHERE IS NOW A FREE DOWNLOAD ON ITUNES. LIMITED TIME ONLY.

What a shocker -- another major act is skipping the Sunshine State on the first leg of their tour. Oy. Maybe he'll add a date in late November.

Anyway, here are Springsteen's upcoming U.S. and Canada shows with the E Street Band in support of new album Magic (out Oct. 2). For ticket info, etc, go here.

October 2 Hartford, CT
October 5 Philadelphia, PA Wachovia Center
October 9-10 East Rutherford, NJ Continental Airlines Arena
October 14 Ottawa, ONT Civic Centre
October 15 Toronto, ONT Air Canada Centre
October 17-18 New York, NY Madison Square Garden
October 21 Chicago, IL United Center
October 26 Oakland, CA Oracle Arena
October 28 Los Angeles, CA Venue TBA
November 2 St. Paul, MN Xcel Energy Center
November 4 Cleveland, OH Quicken Loans Arena
November 5 Auburn Hills, MI Palace Of Auburn Hills
November 11 Washington, D.C. Verizon Arena
November 14 Pittsburgh, PA Mellon Arena
November 15 Albany, NY Times Union Center
November 18 Boston, MA TD Banknorth Garden

10 Best Metal Albums From the '80s

2007 marks the 20th anniversary of Appetite for Destruction. (Let's allow that to sink in for a second....) The Gunners classic holds up well, especially the first 39 seconds of Welcome to the Jungle, which is nothing less than the sound of five men ushering in the end of the world. It's the motherbleepin' apocalypse, kiddies -- let's party.

I play Appetite about five or six times a year, and without fail, I'll air guitar to Slash's licks and wail along to Axl's operatic hellscrapes, reaching as high and throat-bleeding as I possibly can. (The Forever Fiancee LOVES my Axl impression.)

Anyway, because there's great comfort in the '80s -- and especially Sunset Strip-born '80s metal -- here's my TOP 10 METAL ALBUMS OF THE '80s.

This is a potential sh--storm (for instance, I'm leaving off Bon Jovi; I don't think of AC/DC or Van Halen as metal; and I never really liked Metallica), but here goes anyway.

By the way, Steve Spears and I will be doing an upcoming Stuck in the '80s show on the best metal albums, so be sure to give your picks, too.

10. Stay Hungry -- Twisted Sister
9. G N' R Lies -- Guns N' Roses
8. Shout at the Devil -- Motley Crue
7. Night Songs -- Cinderella
6. Out of the Cellar -- RATT
5. Skid Row -- Skid Row
4. Dr. Feelgood -- Motley Crue
3. Blizzard of Ozz -- Ozzy Osbourne
2. Screaming for Vengeance -- Judas Priest
1. Appetite for Destruction -- Guns N' Roses 

My Fave Free iTunes Songs

I love free crap on iTunes.

I'll download whatever's on the house: Scott Baio's reality trainwreck, nine minutes of Ratatouille, a show about chubby kids exercising. I rarely retain the vids, but the free song of the week is almost always a keeper, such as the coked-out raveness of Goldfrapp's Ooh La La  or Mike Farris' Sit Down Servant, a New Orleans stomp from a Screamin' Cheetah Wheelie. And then there's the Noisettes (pictured, eating microphone), a ferociously hot London art-punk band.

The following are a few of my fave freebies -- alas, they're not free anymore, but if you're looking for something cool or different to sample, check 'em out:

Callin' Me -- Consequence (smartass smart-hop)
Home -- Great Northern (lush L.A. indie pop)
Ooh La La -- Goldfrapp (sexy coked-out rave jam)
Sister Rosetta (Capture the Spirit) -- the Noisettes (hot chick punk)
Sit Down Servant -- Mike Farris (white-boy Bourbon Street bop)
Los Angeles -- Sugarcult (updated Sunset Strip metal)
Love Song -- Sara Bareilles (if Tennille divorced the Captain)
D.A.N.C.E. -- Justice ('80s spelling-lessong dance track)
Kiss the Sky -- Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra (technosoul a la Gnarls Barkley)
You Know I'm No Good -- Amy Winehouse (Brit-brat takes on Phil Spector)

Welcome to Florida

Ah yes, my Monday morning mail, always something there to lift the spirits. Here's an excerpt from today's best missive. Sean Daly, driving old folks to a slow, boring death one reader at a time.

St. Pete Times,

My wife's mother is in an assited living facility in Dunedin and I try to save the Floridian for her each day.  Like most seniors, she enjoys the crossword, puzzles and on occassion, the comics.

Your Floridian, Aug 25, 2007 reached a new low in content....

The article about MIA (the rap singer from India) was a real attention getter. Does this guy Sean Daly realize hip hop/rap has seen it's day?

Do you realize that this segment of the paper is the one part that seniors read?  Hip hop reviews drive your readership away.  Whatever you have left.

Less people read newspapers than ever.  Why alienate that segment of the population that actually do read your paper by printing such trash?

The Cure Cancel Tampa Show

Hey Cure fans, just received this press release canceling the group's upcoming tour, including a Sept. 13 show at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa. Wow, this is going to put you in EVEN WORSE moods. Here's the info...

The Cure Tour for September/October 2007, including the Thursday, September 13th show scheduled for the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa, has been postponed. It will be rescheduled for the Spring of 2008 and all current tickets sold will be honored for that date.

Click the below link to read the Cure's personal apology and mumblings about a new album...

My Unhealthy Obsession With Ashley Tisdale

So I'm in Target today, holding Ashley Tisdale's solo album in my hands. Part of me is saying, "I need to write about her! She's so real, so honest" while the other half of me is saying, "C'mon, Daly, get a grip. She's 22. This is an extremely unhealthy obsession. What's the matter with you? This is kind of like your thing for Charlene Tilton back in the '80s!" To which the other half of me countered, "He liked Charlene Tilton?" and the other other half of me answered back, "Oh yeah, he had a full-on Charlene Tilton thing. You don't remember that? But that's not the worst of it. Remember his crush on Betty White?" To which both halves of me said, "Ewwww."

No music today. Instead, in the matter of full disclosure, here are 10 unlikely celebrities (real and imaginary) on which I've had a strange crush:

10. Tennis player Carling Bassett
9. The Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2
8. All of the Golden Girls except for Estelle Getty
7. Dallas star Charlene Tilton
6. Jessica Rabbit
5. She-Hulk
4. Natalie Merchant
3. Belinda Carlisle (chubby version)
2. Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment
1. Ashley Tisdale

Your Fave One-Hit Wonder From 1986?

You love Don Johnson, don't you? Hey, I'm not going to mock you. In fact, I need to hear your passion for DJ and other one-hit wonders of 1986. Steve Spears and I are about to record a Stuck in the '80s podcast about this very subject, and we need material.

So tell me your favorite song on the following list and the reason (anecdote, etc.), and we'll read it on the show.

The Final Countdown -- Europe
Keep Your Hands to Yourself -- Georgia Satellites
Heartbeat -- Don Johnson
Let's Go All the Way -- Sly Fox
The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades -- Timbuk 3
Beat's So Lonely -- Charlie Sexton
Feel It Again -- Honeymoon Suite
When the Heart Rules the Mind -- GTR
The Captain of Her Heart -- Double
Welcome to the Boomtown -- David & David
One Step Closer to You -- Gavin Christopher
Digging Your Scene -- Blow Monkeys
Shake You Down -- Gregory Abbott
Tarzan Boy -- Baltimora

"My Arm! It's Broken!"

I played golf with my boss this morning -- Mangrove Bay in St. Pete. Because I wanted to keep my job, I let him win...by 25 strokes. To ensure his superiority, I also sliced myriad tee shots into rattlesnake-infested thickets. I think this made everyone feel really good.

Mike shot a sweet 89. So that means...

...I shot a 114, baby!

Now people who are good at golf or math might think that 114 is a high number. But hell, I suck. So 114 is actually like me winning the Masters. All in all, it was a good day. Although I'm not sure I'll get invited back. After playing in the 173 degree heat (172 in the shade), I was a sweaty, red-faced mess with a booger the size of an Onset oyster in my nose. It was awesome.

Anyway, in celebration of my incredible golf game, here's Sean's "Keep It Fair, Keep It Fair" Links Mix:

Bye-Bye Birdie -- Ann-Margret
Cold Irons Bound -- Bob Dylan
Big Shot -- Billy Joel
Big Stick -- Bruce Hornsby
Magic Stick -- Lil' Kim
Double Bogey Blues -- Mickey Jones
Drive -- the Cars
Drivin' My Life Away -- Eddie Rabbitt
Pretty Green -- Mark Ronson
Fly Like an Eagle -- Steve Miller Band

ROUGH DRAFT: Review of M.I.A's "Kala"

This album came out today -- my full review runs in the paper Saturday. I usually go the opposite way of the music criterati out there, but M.I.A. is pretty damn good. Part of the reason for my gush, no doubt, is that I saw her at the Coachella fest in the SoCal desert back in '05. Pretty funky time in my life, but she definitely provided some uplift. Anyway, here's the review so far...

Like a giddy tyke with tinker toys, Sri Lankan hip-hopper M.I.A. builds her songs via curious, clashing parts: Baltimore grit, Bollywood glitz, Martian laser fire, clips of the Clash. The hottest buzz act of the fall music season, she indulges in ragtag creations that achieve catchy, childlike beauty only when that final piece is in place.

Of course, that final piece is usually a doozy. The 32-year-old daughter of a Tamil Tiger freedom fighter, M.I.A. often indulges in political chants, war cries with the sing-songy cadence of schoolyard taunts. Raised in London, reared in art school, she looks like a model but hollers like a rebel. She’s hard to pin down politically, but it’s safe to say she’s a gadfly. Whether you need music for the club or the uprising, Maya Arulpragasam has your back: "M.I.A. coming back with power power!"

Last year, M.I.A. was denied a working visa in the United States. So instead of settling down with the hottest American producers, she went elsewhere — India, Trinidad, Australia, Jamaica — to make new album Kala, the followup to brilliant 2005 debut Arular. So I’d like to personally thank our crack immigration department: The organic sounds M.I.A. was forced to find overseas helped her make one of the best albums of the year.

In Sean's Mailbox: Finally, Some Good Stuff

It's been hot as a mutha down here lately, but I swear this morning I could feel a faint whisper of fall in the air. Maybe it was wishful thinking. Or maybe it's because I was doing the newspaper dash in my rippy boxer shorts. Either way, I crave autumn.

In a related note, as we approach the fall, the CD releases are starting to pick up some. It's been bone dry for awhile, but there was some nice stuff waiting for me this morning... (including Victoria Hart, preferred crooner of George Clooney and Brad Pitt).

M.I.A. -- Kala
Raul Malo -- Marshmallow World (Christmas CD)
Josh Ritter -- The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter
Victoria Hart -- Whatever Happened to Romance?
Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds -- Live at Radio City
Sara Bareilles -- Little Voice
Kat de Luna -- 9 Lives
VHS or Beta -- Bring on the Comets
Ann Wilson -- Hope & Glory (with Elton John, Rufus Wainwright)
Sarah Johns -- Big Love in a Small Town

"I Love Wearing Naked!"

My daughter, almost 4 years old, has very little use for underpants. I got her dressed the other day, turned my back and -- boom! -- she was suddenly butterball naked scampering down the hall shouting, "I LOVE WEARING NAKED!" I love wearing naked?! Oh yeah, I totally blame her mother. The Forever Fiancee thinks our daughter's rampant exhibitionism is normal -- this coming from the woman who made out with me on our first date. I, on the other hand, see a disturbing trend. How soon until I catch my daughter and the neighbor boys playing Fun With Nether Regions behind the shed?

So it's with a concerned mind, that I present today's playlist: Kid Lulu's "I Love Wearing Naked!" Mix. Sure, it's good music -- but let it also be a 10-track cautionary tale.

The Streak -- Ray Stevens
Moon River -- Henry Mancini
We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off -- Jermaine Stewart
Dance Naked -- John Mellencamp
Totally Nude -- Talking Heads
Naked in the Rain -- Dio
Theme for a Nude Beach -- the B-52s
The Naked Ride Home -- Jackson Browne
The Naked Robot -- Alan Parsons Project
Flash -- Queen

How Def Leppard Ruined My Childhood

"Lady luck never smiles / So lend your love to me awhile..."

Def Leppard's Foolin' sure sounded like a ballad at first, the perfect time for me to screw up my seventh-grade courage and ask Julie Rothera, the girl of my dreams, to dance. Summer was almost here, and I'd blown chance after chance to talk to her all year long. As the acoustic guitars plucked, I knee-knocked my way across the junior-high auditorium and, heart racing, mumbled out an invite. Red-haired Julie took my hand — success! — and we commenced that prepubescent slow shuffle dance.

But then, as Julie and I started to relax, as I envisioned a summer in Westford, Mass., frolicking with this lovely girl, the Brit boys in Def Leppard, kings of rock thanks to 1983 smash Pyromania, started to get louder, faster. Oh no. OH NO. I was sweating at this point, realizing (as the drums and guitars kicked in) that Foolin’ wasn’t a ballad at all:

"IS ANYBODY OUT THERE! ANYBODY THERE! DOES ANYBODY WONDER! ANYBODY CARE!"

With the song pounding in my head, I held on for as long as I could, but Julie wanted to bolt. And who could blame her? The dance floor was empty, her friends were snickering and I was wearing corduroy pants. So she broke the hold, gave me a sad smile and headed back to her pals. I just stood there, devastated, correct in my assumption that I’d never dance with her again. What was I thinking? I should have waited around for Air Supply or Lionel Richie. But no, I had to get fancy and pick Foolin’. And I’ve had to live with it for 24 years. So thanks for ruining my childhood Def Leppard. Thanks so much.

Def Leppard, with Styx and Foreigner, performs Friday, Aug. 24 at 7 p.m., Ford Amphitheatre, Tampa. $25-$75. (813) 740-2446.

New Springsteen Album Oct. 2

Just got this press release from Shore Fire Media, Springsteen's PR peeps...

Magic, Bruce Springsteen's new studio recording and his first with the E Street Band in five years, is set for release by Columbia Records on October 2, 2007. Produced and mixed by Brendan O'Brien, the album features eleven new Springsteen songs and was recorded at Southern Tracks Recording Studio in Atlanta, GA.

Magic Song Titles:

1. Radio Nowhere
2. You'll Be Comin' Down
3. Livin' in the Future
4. Your Own Worst Enemy
5. Gypsy Biker
6. Girls in Their Summer Clothes
7. I'll Work for Your Love
8. Magic
9. Last to Die
10. Long Walk Home
11. Devil's Arcade

All Hail the King: My 10 Fave Elvis Songs

Today marks the 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley's death. He would have been 72.

In a related note, when you tour Graceland, the second-floor is roped off. Guides say this is because the King always "greeted guests" downstairs; upstairs, they say, was a private sanctuary for the man. Maybe, maybe not. But I'm willing to bet the second floor is off-limits because that's where Elvis "greeted the Grim Reaper on the toilet."

In another, though much sunnier, note, my daughter usually prefers music sung by cartoon characters (see Dora, Spongebob, et al.). However, when I played Jailhouse Rock the other day, Kid Lulu smiled brightly and giggled, "Daddy, I really like this."

Anyway, here are my 10 fave Elvis tracks. Feel free to share your list (especially if it includes Do the Clam and Clambake -- I like those, too).

10. Mystery Train
9. Jailhouse Rock
8. (You're the) Devil in Disguise
7. I Want You, I Need You, I Love You
6. Little Sister
5. Suspicious Minds
4. Burning Love
3. A Little Less Conversation
2. Blue Christmas
1. Viva Las Vegas

Exclusive: Corbin Bleu EXPOSED!

Hey Mousketeers, here's an excerpt from my profile on Disney Channel star Corbin Bleu, who comes to Tampa Bay this weekend. Full feature runs Saturday -- one day after High School Musical 2 debuts and, due to prolonged squeals, causes seismic shifts in the earth's core. Prepare for myriad sing-alongs and earthquakes.

Two minutes into my talk with Corbin Bleu — one of the hottest, cutest cogs in Disney’s indomitable tween-pop machine — I feel a great urge to call the kid Cubby. Offer him a Nehi. Reach through the phone and ruffle his fortress of impossibly cool hair.

Seriously, there hasn’t been a star this genuinely gee-whillikers since Annette pulled on a sweater and spelled M-O-U-S-E.

"I’m pretty squeaky clean!" the actor-singer-lunchbox icon chirps in a Jimmy Olsen timbre, calling from a tour stop in Kansas City, Mo., and promoting his Saturday concert tonight at Ford Amphitheatre in Tampa.

It should also be noted that Bleu, who is 18, makes the press call himself, no Disney flak dialing the digits, no snotty handler limiting my access to the boy prince. A self-dialing teen star? I’m impressed.

This is a big weekend for the Brooklyn native. As well as his stop here, Bleu is one of the stars in made-for-cable movie High School Musical 2, which debuted on the Disney Channel Friday — and was no doubt memorized by every single 12-year-old on the planet by the next morning.

The first Musical, which also starred Bleu as the jocky Chad, was seen by 170 million viewers and spawned a concert tour, an ice show plus millions of dollars in merchandise, including a soundtrack that was the best-selling CD of 2006. "We thought it was going to be a good movie," says Bleu. "But we had no idea it would turn into a phenomenon."

Bleu says he likes the sequel — but not as much as the original. "I feel that we can’t top the first one," he laughs. "I mean, come on, it’s High School Musical!"

Stripping for the Lovemakers

Way back in '05, I drove my co-workers batcrap-crazy touting this Oakland-based Neo New Wave band. The story of the Lovemakers breakout disc Times of Romance went like this: Singers Scott Blonde and Lisa Light, two porny-sexy people who used to have dirty, scorching nookie, recorded the album on the night they broke up. The keyboards and electro-beats clashed as hard as the hurt feelings and below-the-belt insults. You could either fight, dance or wocka-wocka to the album. Hot, very hot.

Just-released followup Misery Loves Company is more about reconciliation than retaliation, so some of the Lovemakers' sexual tension is lost. There are a few ravey dancers on the 5-track EP, but the best song -- in fact, downright great song -- is the slow, grinding Naturally Lonely, which sounds like a Purple Rain B-side. Both albums are available on iTunes, so at least do some sampling.

It’ll be interesting to see if Blonde and Light can keep the schtick going, but so far, so dysfunctional.

Sean Judges "Idol," Gawks at McGhee

Today, tomorrow and Friday, I'll be one of four judges taking part in Tampa Bay Idol, FOX 13's contest to send one singer to Miami on Aug. 22 to (potentially) perform in front of Simon, Paula and Randy for a spot on the real deal.

Last year's champ, Jordin Sparks, was a FOX "golden ticket" winner out of Arizona. If you win, you get an automatic audition in front of the show's top producers -- no waiting in line with the desperates.

Anyway, at the Tampa studio, FOX reporter Charley Belcher, former Idol Top 12er Melissa McGhee (left), WQYK jock Chad Brock and I will be listening to hundreds of audition tapes, ditching some, keeping others, whittling down to 10.

Then on Friday at noon, we'll be heading to Westfield Brandon mall for a "live" battle between the final 10. The winner gets the big prize -- the losers get to threaten me in front of the Sbarro kiosk then key my car.

I'll write a column about it next Tuesday -- plus I'll no doubt blog now and then about the tsunami of no-talents I've been forced to hear. Should be fun...hopefully.

Van Halen Reunites...but Skips Florida

Are you ready to run with the devil? Or, at the very least, how about a brisk jog?

Those aging rapscallions in Van Halen — guitarist Eddie Van Halen, drummer Alex Van Halen, vainglorious frontman David Lee Roth plus Eddie’s 16-year-old son, Wolfgang, on bass — announced a 25-date North American reunion tour today.

This will be Eddie and Dave's first tour together in more than 20 years. They had previously hated each other's guts.

Unfortunately for eager Floridians, though, we’ll have to travel to hear such classic-rock staples as Panama, Hot for Teacher or Runnin’ With the Devil. No Sunshine State stops are on the schedule at this time, but that could very well change in the next few weeks.

The band, so potent in the ’70s and ’80s, announced the news at a 15-minute press conference Monday at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles. With the exception of the pubescent Wolfgang, all of the band members are firmly in their 50s. But in typical Roth fashion, he said he’s more than confident in VH’s ability to fight Father Time.

"We think we got it right this time," said Roth, according to a report by Reuters. "You come and judge the performance harshly, please. I beg you, come on down and see."

Beefy bassist Michael Anthony is the only holdout from the original lineup, perhaps because he’s good friends with singer Sammy Hagar, who alienated many a VH fan by replacing Roth in 1985. Hagar and Eddie Van Halen had feuded the last few years, leading to the reconciliation with Roth.

No word yet from Wolfgang’s mother Valerie Bertinelli, who is somehow letting her underage son tour the country with one of the most notoriously naughty rock bands of all time. Wow, some kids have all the luck.

Right now, the closest stops to Tampa Bay include the tour opener in Charlotte, N.C. on Sept. 27 and in Greensboro, N.C. on the 29th. But I have a feeling more dates will be added if this trainwreck manages to stay on the rails. If they add a local stop — and there’s a very good chance they will — it will probably happen in mid-November or late December. The bands itinerary has some available dates at those times, plus Florida is a major market for classic rock.

FAIR WARNING: I saw Roth perform solo a few years ago, and it was the concertgoing equivalent of having your gums scraped. He was lackadaisical, bored; he sounded lousy, barely bothering to finish singing the hits. When he did his famous flying-V split off the drum riser, he looked like Wilford Brimley playing hopscotch.

But with guitar whiz Eddie erupting next to him — an Eddie fresh from rehab, no less — maybe Diamond Dave will find some of that ol’ magic. He certainly seems to think so.

"Usually when a band comes back like us it’s rockers with walkers and this is everything but," said Roth. "Meet us in the future, not the past."

Fear the Flora

So I'm reading this trashy (good trashy, mind you) book by Scott Smith, same dude who wrote A Simple Plan. It's called The Ruins, and Stephen King blurbs the front of the paperback with this: "The best horror novel of the new century." The story actually reminds me of King's early work, when he'd take unlikely things -- a car, a dog, a kid's army toy -- and turn them into demonic monsters.

Smith's monsters just happen to be...vines.

That's right: A handful of young nubiles wander into a Mexican jungle and get trapped on an archaeological dig overrun with blood-thirsty weeds. Sound stoopid, right? Well, it works. It's totally freaking me out. Here's a disgusting excerpt: "Somehow the vine had pushed itself into his wound, opening it, widening it, thrusting a tendril into his body. Stacy could see it beneath his skin, the ridged rise of it, three inches long, like a thick finger, probing."

Yeah, it gets worse (good worse, mind you).

Anyway, my entire backyard has been covered by vines for awhile now, and I've been planning to go out there and weed-whack a bit. But forget it now. I can't have weeds in my wounds. That's not gonna happen. So in tribute to my topiary terror, here's...

Sean Needs to Hire a Landscaper Pronto Mix:

Feed the Tree -- Belly
(Nothing But) Flowers -- Talking Heads
Jungle Love -- the Time
Green Green Grass of Home -- Tom Jones
Weed With Willie -- Toby Keith
Autumn Cannibalist -- Die Mannequin
On the Greener Side -- Michelle
Dumpweed -- blink-182
You Don't Bring Me Flowers -- Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand
Fake Plastic Trees -- Radiohead

Either My Mind Is Mush...

...or this is a funny show.

It started as a mere distraction for Kid Lulu: Here, watch this show while the Old Man takes a nap. Then, peeking at the screen now and then, I started to chuckle: You know, the portly kid is kinda funny. And then, in a matter of days, it became appointment television for father and daughter: Hey, Lulu, Drake & Josh is on!

One of cable television’s highest-rated sitcoms, Nickelodeon’s Drake & Josh is totally cookie-cutter in formula: total-opposite stepbrothers share a room, family dysfunction and related madcappery. The two leads, however, make the show addictively watchable. Chubby brunette Josh is played by Josh Peck, who's dropped a ton of weight over the show’s run, but has retained a prepubescent Jackie Gleason routine. Sometimes he overdoes it; sometimes he nails it just right.

Drake Bell is Drake, the cutie-pie ladies man, cool in every way that Josh is not. He’s also a bit dim, but Bell plays it with a subtle likability.

Alas, fictional Drake is also a pop star who lives at home but still manages a No. 1 hit. That cheeseball, Brady Bunch, marketing-manipulative subplot would be a deal-breaker for me if his songs weren’t so catchy, especially Makes Me Happy, which he’ll no doubt play Aug. 18 at Ford Amphitheatre on a teeny-popper bill with Corbin Bleu and Aly & AJ.

Kid Lulu and I won’t be at the show, but rest assured we’ll be supporting Drake back home in the front of the tube

Drake Bell, Aly & AJ and Corbin Bleu perform 6 p.m. August 18 at Ford Amphitheatre, Interstate 4 at U.S. 301 N, Tampa. $27.50-$39.75 each, $85 for four. (813) 740-2446.

Cisco Adler's Naughty Bits

ANYBODY WATCHING "THE ROCK LIFE"?

Although I flog myself for tuning in, I'm really digging VH1 reality mess The Rock Life, in which hapless Malibu band Whitestarr seeks fame, supermodels and...well, more supermodels. (You can get the first episode free on iTunes.) Shaggy horndog Cisco Adler, formerly Paris Hilton/Mischa Barton/Kimberly Stewart’s man-candy, is the swarthy, shirtless band’s leader; Alex "Orbi" Orbison, Roy's son, is the drummer.

On Aug. 28, Whitestarr releases its sophomore disc on VH1 Classic Records. I just got the promo. More flogging: I kinda like it. If you appreciated the band Warrant, and liked seeing Jani Lane shoot snot rockets out of his nose, you'll dig this. Whitestarr is essentially a 2 a.m. tour of the Sunset Strip: exaggerated guitar parts, Adler’s whiskey-a-go-go howl and more smarmy Hollywood references than a half-hour with Billy Bush. That said, it’s a ton of brain-dead faux-Gunners dive-bar fun, a reason why Whitestarr once had a nine-week run at L.A.'s Viper Room.

The Very Best of Mick Jagger? Sure, Why Not

The good folks at Rhino just sent me an order form for this 17-track comp of Mick Jagger solo stuff. This is one of the great things about my job, other than wearing T-shirts to work and justifiably shutting out my co-workers by cranking Ratt all day. Loooove getting the back catalogue freebies. It'll be good to have Just Another Night and Lucky in Love -- and it's always nice to have the Jagger-Bowie duet Dancing in the Street for when I emcee Boy's Night at the Golden Banana. The rest of it? Feh.

Here's the press release and track listing...

"LOS ANGELES -- THE VERY BEST OF MICK JAGGER, the first overview of his distinguished solo career, is set for release in the U.S. on October 2, on Atlantic/Rhino Records. It's a vivid reminder of the compelling gifts that brought Jagger fame in the first place. As an embodiment of all that rock 'n' roll can mean, he is virtually without peer and that is made plain on this compelling 17-track collection, which includes three previously unreleased performances."

1. God Gave Me Everything
2. Put Me In The Trash
3. Just Another Night
4. Don't Tear Me Up
5. Charmed Life
6. Sweet Thing
7. Old Habits Die Hard
8. Dancing In The Street
9. Too Many Cooks
10. Memo From Turner
11. Lucky In Love
12. Let's Work
13. Joy
14. Don't Call Me Up
15. Checkin' Up On My Baby
16. (You Gotta Walk And) Don't Look Back
17. Evening Gown

Upcoming CD Releases

On Sept. 11, Kanye West and 50 Cent will both release new albums, a "Super Tuesday" (as the music biz calls it) that will determine whether the industry has a terrible year or a horrific year. I'm looking forward to 'Ye (yeah, I call him 'Ye, 'cause that's how I roll), altho Curtis Jackson is out of tricks. We'll see...

The upcoming disc I'm most looking forward to is M.I.A., the Sri Lankan beat-girl. Everyone thought I would have forgotten about Maya Arulpragasm by now, but alas, I still crave her. Her debut Arular was one of the best discs of a few years ago.

Anyway, here's a quick list of upcoming releases (including that bizarro duets album between ROBERT PLANT AND ALISON KRAUSS?!!!!)

8/21 M.I.A. -- Kala
8/21 Rilo Kiley -- Under the Blacklight

8/28 Lyle Lovett -- It's Not Big It's Large
8/28 Scorpions -- Humanity Hour 1

9/11 Kanye West -- Graduation
9/11 50 Cent -- Curtis S.S.K.
9/11 Kenny Chesney -- Just What I Am: Poets and Pirates

9/18 KT Tunstall -- Drastic Fantastic
9/18 Mark Knopfler -- Kill to Get Crimson

10/23 Alison Krauss & Robert Plant -- Raising Sand

A Heart Attack-Ack-Ack Waiting to Happen

So I had a health screening last week. Very traumatic. I went 'cause they were raffling off free iPods. I was all happy go lucky, just back from a big burrito lunch, the world owes me a living, tra la la. Then they hit me with it: high-blood pressure and an obvious deficiency in any healthy living. Basically I have instant gravy running through my veins. It was pretty bleepin' terrifying. On a scale of 1 to 5, my cardiac risk level was a 7.7. SERIOUSLY. So I've cut out all fried foods, red meat, soda -- I now eat salads all the time, which my body instantly rejects. I'm walking the 'hood again. The good news is that I had my blood pressure taken yesterday, and I'm now down to 120/80, which is a major improvement over previous coronary levels.

Anyway, I'd like to give a shout-out to my old lifestyle. I miss you. I do. But I got a kid and, more than that, I really want to mow the lawn with my shirt off. So this one's for you: Sean's Elizabeth, I'm Comin' to Join Ya Mix (aka Sean Really Misses Bacon):

Tight Conection to My Heart -- Bob Dylan
Bad Blood -- Neil Sedaka
The Stroke -- Billy Squier
Blame It on Your Heart -- Patty Loveless
Bringin' on the Heartbreak -- Def Leppard
Breathless -- Jerry Lee Lewis
The Blob -- The Five Blobs
Kickstart My Heart -- Motley Crue
Ripped Pants -- Spongebob Squarepants

Memphis or Bust

Hey kids, my epic, besotted, lascivious Memphis story hit the streets Sunday. It's a big mutha, so I highly encourage each and every one of you to spend the entirety of your Monday morning reading it.

Here's the link to the main story (ooh, ghosts and drunk girls).

Here's the link to all the food that almost killed me (in a good way).

Here's the link to the music I bought there (Black Moses, anyone?).

Here's the link to where to go, where to stay, etc.

Here's the link to Daniel Wallace's AWESOME SLIDESHOW.

Hope you dig it -- I'll be saving the X-rated portion of my Memphis travails for my upcoming memoirs: THE FUNYUN CHRONICLES.

How Toby Keith Almost Killed Me

Music critics usually get great concert seats. I’ve sat close enough to Christina Aguilera for her to recoil at my marriage proposal. I’ve stood close enough to Neil Diamond to screw with his toupee. That’s the deal. Sit the tubby rock critic two rows from the stage, and maybe he’ll gush aplenty. I’m too jaded to fall for that trickery (plus the paper pays for the tickets), but you get the picture.

That said, the good seats aren’t always so good. For instance, the Toby Keith show a couple years ago. The husky country singer, who's coming back to Tampa in a few days, put me second-row center at Ford Amphitheatre — right next to a muscle-ripped drunk dude in a crusty U.S. of A tank top. I felt like an impostor already; Keith's not exactly my bag. But the World’s Scariest Toby Keith Fan (WSTKF) sniffed me out in a heartbeat. And he didn’t take too kindly to my reporter’s notebook, not to mention the fact that I wasn’t swilling the King of Beers. I was sober and literate. This wasn't going to end well.

So WSTKF put his enormous grizzly paw on my shoulder and bellowed, "WHAT IN THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU WRITING?" He then hipchecked me into Wacahoota. I’m pretty sure WSTKF would have pounded me flat, but he was soon distracted by none other than...Hulk Hogan, who was seated a few rows away. "HOGAN! HOGAN! I’M GONNA KICK YOUR [BLEEP]!" He just kept on with the Hulkster, who looked miserable. Keith put on a pretty good show that night, but if I may speak for Hulk Hogan, I think both of us would have had a better time in the cheap seats.

Toby Keith, with Miranda Lambert and Flynnville Train, performs 7:30 p.m. Saturday Aug. 10 at Ford Amphitheatre, Tampa. $25.77-$65. (813) 740-2446.

Wino Winehouse's Right-hand Man

Mark Ronson makes modern music for mai-tais, for cabana boys and cocktail girls, for smoke-choked lounges with a swingin’ vibe. The producer behind Christina Aguilera, Amy Winehouse and my current crush Lily Allen, Ronson is the current arbiter of hipster cool, mixing throwback grooves — ’60s girl groups, vintage reggae, juke-joint jazz — with female-empowerment and hip-hop beats.

You know how I feel about hipsters, and yet I still dig him. He’s Moby with a groovier record collection. He’s Fat Boy Slim with cooler friends. He’s Kanye West on a date with Gloria Steinem. (I'm not quite sure what that last one means, but I'm going with it.)

Earlier this year, the Hard Rock Hotel chain commissioned the 29-year-old Londoner to compile songs for an in-house soundtrack, the kind of stuff you hear at a resort where the martinis are as pretty as the people. That CD is fun. But his new album, Version -- Best Buy, $9.99 -- which time-warps hits by Coldplay, Radiohead and Britney Spears, is better. Plus buds Winehouse and Allen show up in killer cameos.

The dude ain't subtle, that's for sure. Ronson's beach-blanket-bingo remake of Coldplay’s God Put a Smile Upon Your Face is frenetically good, with the Daptone Horns bleating out the book-’em-Danno hook. British bad boy Robbie Williams, often on the wrong side of the law, turns the Charlatans’ The Only One I Know into his own cop-show theme.

And, lo and behold, Britney Spears’ Toxic is now a baritone-blasted street strut with a profane rap by the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard. It’s a delicious lark; music for the hottest hookers in town. And yet, it sounds like a sly invitation from a white-hot producer hoping to salvage yet another wayward star. Britney as a ’70s funk star? It just might work. Go check out Mark Ronson. You'll love him.

My Irrational Dislike of John Mayer

“Don’t you just love John Mayer?”

I hear that a lot, and my answer is usually a smirky, snobby no. However, my reasons are entirely suspect for disliking the shaggy-haired musician, a 29-year-old guitar man who gives James Taylor a run for his touchy-feely sensitive-guy, let's-just-get-naked-and-talk crown. I'm fairly certain my Mayer malaise is steeped in deep, furious jealousy. Because, after all, it’s always cute girls who repeatedly ask, “Don’t you just love John Mayer?” These same girls spend very little time asking, “Don’t you just love Sean Daly?” I'm vaingloriously shallow like that.

Mayer also has the world on a string: smash singles (Your Body Is a Wonderland), hit albums (including 2006’s Continuum), myriad Grammys, weekend trysts with Jessica Simpson (c'mon, she's dumb but she's hot -- again, shallow). And, most importantly, a right hand that very often does a decent Eric Clapton impression. When Mayer plugs in his Strat, and abandons such wispy sap as dumb hit Daughters, he's pretty darn good.

Recently, 46 fans at a Mayer concert in Hershey, Pa., were busted for underage drinking. And Mayer handled that brouhaha with wry wit, saying, “First, to the 46 people accused of underage drinking; what were you thinking? You have your whole life to engage in underage drinking. What’s the hurry? I didn’t start underage drinking until I was 26. Underage drinking is not a function of age, but of style. And you kids are way too young to truly appreciate the nuances of true underage drinking.”

That’s kinda funny. And despite me laughing aloud, I now dislike John Mayer even more. So really, stop asking me.

John Mayer, with Ben Folds, performs at 7 p.m. Tuesday at Ford Amphitheatre, Tampa. $29.50-$52.50. (813) 740-2446.