Sean's Suspect Parenting, Part 374

Kid Lulu got into the comic books last night. Spidey, Silver Surfer, Captain America. She liked all the guy crime-fighters, but she flipped when she got to She-Hulk, a tough female superhero. "I wanna be She-Hulk!" I've never been more proud.

So this morning, I wore my Incredible Hulk shirt and referred to her as She-Hulk during breakfast. Lulu was loving it. During our walk to school, she asked me: "Can you have my teacher call me She-Hulk?"

Sure. Where's the harm in that?

So we get to her home room, and I say to her teacher, Miss Holly: "Hey, do you mind calling her She-Hulk today?"

Miss Holly looked like I goosed her: "She-Hulk?"

"Uh, yeah. She-Hulk. She's like the Hulk, um, but a girl." I pointed to my Hulk T-shirt, as if that explained everything.

"I'm She-Hulk!" my daughter said triumphantly to all of her classmates.

That's when the Big Girl in the Class, the Loudmouth, the Bully, the Meanie, walked over to my daughter and said, "She-Hulk? YOU'RE WEIRD!!!"

And all the kids started giggling.

Uh-oh.

My daughter then gave me a look, a horrible look, a trembly look, that basically said: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? SHE-HULK? YOU COULDN'T PROMOTE A MORE NORMAL SUPERHERO? MAYBE BATGIRL? OR WONDER WOMAN? NO, YOU HAD TO GO WITH A MARVEL LESSER-KNOWN, A CULT FANTASY FOR NERDS WHO CAN'T GET GIRLS. SHE-HULK?!! GREAT. NOW I'M THE WEIRD KID. HOPE YOU'RE SAVING UP FOR THERAPY, 'CAUSE OL' SHE-HULK, SHE'S GOT SOME SERIOUS BAGGAGE TO UNLOAD.

I tried to correct the situation, sizing up the Bully with a: "She-Hulk is the coolest. Don't you know anything?" But by then, the damage was done. Miss Holly came over and started talking to Kid Lulu about dolphins. Dazed, dizzied, I staggered out of the room.

I left feeling pretty bad. But c'mon, if a 3-year-old girl can't be She-Hulk, who can? So in honor of my crime-fighting daughter, here's today's playlist:

Superhero -- Jane's Addiction
Stronger -- Kanye West
Heroes -- David Bowie
Born to Fly -- Sara Evans
Fire Woman -- the Cult
Flash -- Queen
Superman (It's Not Easy) -- Five for Fighting
Herculean -- the Good, the Bad & the Queen
I Believe I Can Fly -- R. Kelly
Iron Man -- Black Sabbath
Learning to Fly -- Tom Petty
Believe It or Not -- Joey Scarbury

[PICTURE: Marvel Comics]

Comments

[John Hays]

See this is why I'm a DC person. When I eventually have a daughter, things will be much easier for her looking up to Supergirl!

[Erin]

I just stopped by the pre-school to look for a lost My Little Pony and bumped into your little girl outside doing side-walk chalk with her class. She was very happy and seemed unscathed by the morning's incident.

Might I reccommend the ultimate woman-power song..."I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy.

[IRONMAN aka Chris M]

I don't think asking to be called She-Hulk is weird...unless you'e a guy.
I think I'm going to be called Ironman today!

[Stir Crazy]

Rubberband Man?

[Ron]

(Wish I Could Fly Like) Superman - The Kinks

[Brad]

IRONMAN - that reminds me of a (male) friend in elementary school that always wanted to be Wonder Woman when the obligatory "Super Friends" play began.

I "Wonder" which team he's on now...

[scooterbucs]

"Superman's Dead" - Our Lady Peace

I can't believe you put an R. Kelly song in a playlist related to kids. C'mon Daly.

[Ms.Holly]

It was great she wanted to be she-hulk,never heard of her though. It's better then wanting to be a boy superhero.LOL