REVIEW: Carrie Underwood's Bumpy "Ride"

Carrie Underwood, Carnival Ride (Arista) GRADE: D

She loves Jesus and Jack Daniel’s, the Rolling Stones and Rascal Flatts. She’s the farmgirl-next-door from the great state of Oklahoma; she’s the legs-aplenty champ from American Idol. She sings for the single city gals; she sympathizes with the dirt-road housefraus. She plays state fairs and stadiums, working multiculti crowds with a politician’s precision and a bombshell smile.

Country star Carrie Underwood is all things to all people, which is one heck of a trick for a 24-year-old. Seriously, Willie Mays didn’t cover the bases like Underwood does. As a result, the blond looker is the best-selling musician of the last two years, her 2005 debut, Some Hearts, having sold more than 6 million copies. Hit singles ranged from religious plea Jesus, Take the Wheel to besotted revenge fantasy Before He Cheats. Each song had just enough butter-knife edge to separate them from the rest of the pop-country dreck.

Not that content mattered that much. At a time when selling albums is a Herculean task, Underwood is a marketing marvel, a product of Simon Fuller, Clive Davis and the rest of the Idol starmaking machine. She was born on television, raised on radio and nurtured by a widespread country fan base that believes in brand loyalty. As to the real Carrie Underwood, who the heck knows? She might as well be a Disney princess — which is entirely the point.

With her new album, Carnival Ride, Underwood could wind up being the top seller of 2007, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if she moves more than a million copies this first week alone. Never mind that her second disc lacks the pop punch of the first album. Never mind that it's not very clever. Never mind that it’s actually pretty dull. Underwood keeps her nose clean, dates Dallas Cowboys quarterbacks and does whatever her handlers tell her to do. And for that reason alone, she’ll remain the pop star to beat.

Along with Kelly Clarkson. Chris Daughtry and Fantasia Barrino, Underwood is admittedly one of the more skilled alums to come out of American Idol. She has a sturdy voice that ranges from a pop-rock growl to a high-soaring Nashville wail. She can hit and hold her notes. She also believes in the words she’s singing, which made her cover of the Pretenders’ I’ll Stand by You the best thing she’s done.

But Underwood, who takes a cowriter credit on four out of the 13 new tracks, doesn’t have much to work with here. With song titles such as All-American Girl, Just a Dream, Crazy Dreams and Get Out of This Town, it’s obvious that Team Underwood is trying to reinforce her aw-shucks, just-out-of-Checotah persona. But this time out, the songs turn out to be just as blah as the titles.

Producer Mark Bright, who also helmed Some Hearts, uses more fiddle and twang on this one. But for the most part, it was better the first time around. Syrup-smothered first single So Small ("Don’t run out on your faith...") is basically Jesus, Take the Wheel without the catchy chorus. Last Name ("Last night I got served a little bit much of that poison, baby") is a knockoff of Before He Cheats, but without the tipsy ’tude.

Underwood gives each song her cheerleader all. And sometimes, but not often, she’s able to pull a track out of the dumper. A sexy, growly vocal gives opening done-me-wrong song Flat on the Floor true Southern-rock grit. And she turns ho-hum breakupper I Know You Won’t into a torch-song doozie.

But with the exception of a few shimmering moments, Underwood suffers a sophomore creative slump. If this is a Carnival Ride, we’re definitely talking the Tilt-a-Whirl. A lame ride, for sure, all that spinning and going nowhere. But alas, this is Underwood World we’re talking about. So don’t be surprised when the line for this sucker goes on and on.

Comments

[Jim Beam]

Although I am not usually one to call attention to one of my competitors, could you please spell his name correctly? It's Jack Daniels, not Jack Daniel's.

You are now free to finish your soy latte.

[Sean Daly]

You're wrong.

It's Jack Daniel's.

Sorry, Jim.

[Vanessa]

Just curious, Sean - what do you have against ex-American Idols? Seriously, have you liked one of their CDs?

[Sean Daly]

Fantasia's last album was on my 10 best of 2006 list. Clarkson's "My December" was a disaster, but I like a lot of her songs. And I'm pretty sure I gushed in my live review of Daughtry.

Underwood can sing -- it's just that this album is so painfully dull. Where are the hooks, the catchy parts?

[former tampanian]

Who cares if she can sing...she sure is nice to look at!!!

[nobody]

Your all just jealous. She's the most successful person ever to come off American Idol.
Her and Kelly Clarkson are the only two ever who have had any noteworthy success after the show.
Everyone else just nosedived into obscurity.

[Giselle]

First of all the grammer is incorrect, It should read "She" and Kelly Clarkson.

Plus that is note entirely true there have been numerous others to achieve success.

[Marissa]

I do believe there have been several success stories that came from American Idol. Carrie Underwear has, perhaps, coveted the most awards. In fact, it seems that non-winners are really making a mark on the charts. ie. Chris Daughtry and Elliot Yamin.
I pleaded (literally) with the program director of a Chicago radio station to NEVER play "Before He Cheats" after they played it once. The idea that causing property damage because she realized her boyfriend is a louse just didn't set well with me. Obviously, the public didn't agree with me.
Plus, Carrie pronounces 'sh' like 's' when she sings, and it really irritates me LOL