Smothered, Covered, Chunked & Rocked
I love this story: On Sunday, Kid Rock, hero to suburban dirtballs everywhere, was arrested in a DeKalb, Ga., Waffle House -- at 5 a.m. no less -- after beating down some dude who bad-mouthed a woman in his entourage. Kid Rock spent 12 hours in jail.
In his smirky mug shot, Kid Rock looks like he's having the time of his life. And why not? That mad-grinning greaseball has created a foolproof, jailproof persona for himself. He's a Southern rocker-cum-Detroit rapper with a taste for strippers (Pamela Anderson included), booze, Waffle House and police reports.
The last time Kid Rock (aka Bob Ritchie) had an album out, he "got caught" on tape having sex side-by-side with the dude from Christian-rock band Creed. The dude from Creed was never heard from again; Kid Rock wound up on the cover of "Rolling Stone."
Kid Rock's new album Rock 'n' Roll Jesus was released last week. Some people shave their heads for publicity. Some people do the talk-show circuit. Kid Rock has his hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, chunked and diced -- then he beats the crap out of some brainiac sitting at the counter scarfing an omelette. The brainiac is never heard from again -- Kid Rock's album just went No. 1.
Kid Rock just might be the smartest man in America -- or at least the smartest man in a wifebeater.
Sean Daly is the pop music critic for the St. Petersburg Times. His CD collection -- from Journey to Dylan, Prince to U2, Public Enemy to Stan Getz -- is much bigger and better than yours.
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Kid Rock fights people in swanky places too (the VMAs for example), but, unfortunately, Waffle House is the only joint open at 5 in the morning right off the interstate.
If he would've waited just another hour, he could've beaten the crap out of someone at a Cracker Barrel.
Posted by: DG | October 23, 2007 at 05:13 PM
Hey, who hasn't been in a fight at the Waffle House? You have to do something while you're waiting for your cheese eggs, hashbrowns, grits and bacon at 3 AM....
Posted by: Chris | October 24, 2007 at 05:43 PM
"or at least the smartest man in a wifebeater"
You know that's not even not saying much, that's not saying ANYthing, right?
Posted by: Christopher | October 24, 2007 at 11:42 PM