BLOG BATTLE! The Boss vs. Bon Jovi!

The Turnpike Takedown!

The Meadowlands Massacre!

The Garden State Grudge Match!

So the other day, my Arby's-scarfing '80s associate Steve Spears bellies up to my desk, points a hairy-knuckle in my maw and says: "Bon Jovi could kick Springsteen's faux-populist, saggy-Levis, prez-bashing butt! Bon Jovi is the true Garden State icon!" If I weren't in horrifically bloated shape, I would have vaulted gymnastically from my swirly seat, grabbed that sweaty blowhard by the lapels of his painfully snug Journey shirt and rebutted with fervor, froth and ferocity.

But alas, Steve and I get winded easily. So we've decided to settle Bruce vs. Bon Jovi in an old-fashioned Blog Battle. (Both acts are hitting Tampa Bay next spring. I'll be at both shows. Spears, on the other hand, will be home watching Meatballs 4 and crying himself to sleep.) Spears hates Springsteen, thinks he's a pinko phony with more money than sense. Me? I don't mind Bon Jovi at all. But I can't just sit here and take this crap about Bruce. After all, playin' blindman's bluff is a little baby's game. So if I must, I'm gonna go out and make that baby run. Or, um, something like that.

FOUR REASONS WHY SPRINGSTEEN IS THE ULTIMATE BLUE-COLLAR BARD
1. I could pull out the big guns, and talk about how I witnessed Bruce Springsteen buoy the spirits of 40,000 post-Katrina New Orleanians. And I could add that I've never seen a crowd of people -- tears streaming down their faces, hands in the air in swaying communal prayer -- respond to a performer with such a hungry, visceral voice. And I could conclude by mentioning the Crescent City woman who saw me and my reporter's notebook and grabbed my shoulders and sobbed, "Do you know what this means to us? Do you know what this means to our city?" But that would be unfair. Especially since I saw Bon Jovi in concert once, and the most memorable moment was the girl barfing in front of me.

2. So I'm walking around the neighborhood, cranking my iPod, which is on SHUFFLE mode. I'm pissed off about everything in my life being broken, when all of a sudden, I get two Bruce songs in a row. Weird, right? How often does that happen on shuffle? The songs are -- get this -- I'm Goin' Down and Pay Me My Money Down. That second number, which turns into a rowdy Basin Street stomp, manages to put a darkly comic spin on my financial woes. And for that, I was thankful. But still kinda pissed.

3. Jon Bon Jovi is a good-looking dude. There, I said it. It's out there. A great deal of Jon's appeal is that he could bed any man or woman in the Tri-State area. Sure, he can write a hook and growl a chorus and pretend to play a guitar. But it all starts with his looks -- which makes sense seeing as how he started in the '80s. Right hair, right time. As for Springsteen, well, he ain't exactly Clooney. In fact, he's starting to morph into Dylan, the rock version of growing hair in your ears. Bruce has had to conquer the world on sheer talent and mystique alone. Give him the awesome power of feathered locks and a cute face, and Springsteen would have knocked GW off the $1 bill.

So there, that oughta do it. Spears is no doubt slobbering about Bon Jovi over on his site. You can read all that claptrap right here. Not that it's gonna matter. Springsteen vs. Bon Jovi. I think we all know how this is gonna end.

Comments

[Marissa]

Sean, don't forget to add that BonJovi had lots and lots of chest hair in the 80s. Now, he's slick as, well, he's as slick as a porpoise-like Sean Daly! I have a side by side comparison photo. lol

[Jeff in Cuba]

I'm not sure exactly where I fall on this topic. I'll grant you that Bruce casts a larger shadow over the American landscape, a shadow that extends well beyond the borders of pop culture. That being said, I'd rather spend an evening at a Bon Jovi concert than with the Boss. I guess I prefer less-challenging fare (my life is challenging enough!)

By the way, "Gold" is clearly the superior Spandau Ballet song.

[Guy]

Gotta go with the Boss, here. Bon Jovi's songs may have more hooks than a tackle box, but Springsteen's have a depth to them that Bon Jovi's never will.

No further evidence is needed than the fact that Bon Jovi clearly wants to be Bruce: multi-night NJ concert stand? Check. "Preaching" to the crowd during shows? Check. Late-show cover ("Shout", on Bon Jovi's case) to energize the crowd? Check.

Bon Jovi is also undermined by the monotony of his setlists. Seriously, take almost any Bon Jovi show from the past seven years, switch out the 5-7 songs from the new CD they are promoting and you'll see virtually the same show every time. Catch a Springsteen show, and chances are he might pull something from the vaults. And, chances are, this one song alone will be worth the $100 you dropped on your ticket.

[Bassnote]

I have to side with the Boss on this one (and Sean, I'm referring to Springsteen). I have never seen Bon Jovi in concert, except for televised ones. However, I have seen Springsteen many times, and I have never seen the same show twice Bruce is an incredible showman. Jon's an okay actor (but Bruce's cameo in High Fidelity was hilarious). And as far as appearing on American Idol, I think that lowered Bon Jovi's value. If we are going on the music, you can see that Bon Jovi has tried to ape Bruce over the years (the album New Jersey has 'I want to be Bruce' written all over it). Gee, releasing a box set of b-sides and rarities, didn't Bruce do that first? I'm sorry, but Bruce is the teacher, and Bon Jovi is the student, and the teacher is still better.

[Jose Bermudez]

Let's not forget that Jon Bon Jovi is almost single-handedly responsible for rock shifting from the cool harder sounds of Van Halen, AC/DC, Y&T, Rush, etc to the hair band cheese of Warrant, Winger, and Poison.

[DG]

Jon Bon Jovi would most likely prefer to go to a Springsteen concert than to play one with his band.

Here's the distinction: Bon Jovi is a really good rock band. Springsteen, however, is not only really good, he's culturally significant. He's like Steinbeck with a Stratocaster.

[Vanessa]

Being a huge Bon Jovi fan myself (the first album I ever bought was Slippery When Wet and I still have my 1986 poster of the band hanging in my apartment), I'd normally side with my boys.

Now on this tour, I am totally giving it to Bruce. I think the E Street Band is going to be much better than this "Lost Highway" tour.

Personally, I think it's easily the worst album of Bon Jovi's career (and not because of the country tinges, either. It's more that it's bad country). In fact, it might be the worst album I've heard all year.

But, I have seen Bon Jovi put on a show a number of times and I couldn't find a single person sitting in their seats. There was no quiet, contemplative time, just a lot of rocking out and fun.

[KJW]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Desmond_Child_songs

Is this even a debatable point?

"This piece you're doing is boring" - Nathan Thurm, Esq. (as played by Martin Short)

An indicator of "greatness" is how many people cover your songs?
Springsteen - too numerous to count, ranging from The Pointer Sisters to Rage Against The Machine and all artists in between.
Bon Jovi... (crickets) Um, I'm sure someday an artist will eventually cover one of those songs in which he didn't write (see above and: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desmond_Child)
Springsteen doesn't need hired help to write songs.

[Marissa]

Hey! Chris Daughtry covered "Wanted: Dead or Alive" on the American Idol album ::smirk::

[Rick]

I believe that you've made a sore mistake, my friend, in attributing buoyed spirits of anyone to Bruce Springsteen...

If anyone was buoyed, I would look to the free bottles of water handed out upon entry to the concert. ;-)

For buoyed spirits with music, Bon Jovi would at least make them forget their lot a while and get them to smile, not wallow in their own misery like the Boss of Gloom.

As for whether Springsteen doesn't need hired help to write songs? Well, neither did Mr. Rogers. That doesn't make the songs great. But come to think of it, at least I could understand what Mr. Rogers was singing.

[KJW]

Rick,
From your response it appears that it is better to "make them forget their lot" than to "confront the challenges" in one's life. Truth be told, it's best (and healthiest) to both "forget your lot" AND confront your challenges. That's the adult, sophisticated and difficult road to take. The better artists, in any medium, always evokes as many emotions as possible (E.T. frickin' dies, for instance). And the Springsteen catalog has more than enough "forget your lot" material and more than enough "confront your challenges" material. His best songs do both. A tough act to pull off (Which Mr. Bongiovi has not yet done to my ears). People of certain stripes only seem to focus on the "confront your lot" work when critiquing Springsteen, ignoring the vast majority of the more uplifting songs in the songbook. Denial of life challenges is fine, but as they say, "Don't shoot the messenger." If you prefer focusing only the sunny side of life, I'm down with that, but it makes for some boring art/music/movies/cartoons/blog posts.

[jillabuster]

Bon Jovi is a very nice very cute guy who is socially committed to helping people. I have nothing bad to say about him.

But The Boss is an American icon.
I just saw Bruce on both the nights in Washington DC. Read about it and see the pics at http://jillabuster.blogspot.com/.

Bruce spent both days in DC with his family at Walter Reed visiting wounded soldiers and there were hundreds of them with their families sitting to the right of the stage, courtesy of Bruce.

I can say that Bruce has inspired me and influenced my life for the better every time I have seen him since I was 19 (I am now 46). At the first concert (during the RIver tour) Bruce ended the first half of the show with a little talk to the audience about the importance of living your dreams. He tells me (at this point I am certain he is talking to me directly) that life spent doing something you despise is no life at all. I thought of my hated economics and accounting classes and wondered why I thought a business degree was so smart.Then he gave me some advice that would serve as a guide to my future:

“Find something you love to do, then figure out a way to make a living doing it.”

I am so changing majors, I thought as he blasted into Badlands:

Talk about a dream try to make it real
You wake up in the night with a fear so real
You spend your life waitin' for a moment that just won't come
Well don't waste your time waiting . . .

THese days, Im fighting stage four breast cancer and yet his songs still fill my heart with hope and happiness. No retreat, baby, no surrender . . .

I know that this coming April, Bruce will bring another dose of the cure I’m looking for when I visit this old friend. I’m ready to grow young again, if only for a few hours.

Silly Steve. This one is not even close.

[Ray]

The Boss is the clear winner here... even if he's been kind of acting like a moonbat as of late

[Al]

Just listen to Bruce's "Racing in the Street" from the triple album, Live 1975-85. End of discussion. Bruce wins.

[Rick]

Wow, KJW, where'd you get your PhD? To play Spears' advocate here, I offer a quote right out of the 80s: "LIGHTEN UP, FRANCIS!"

I wasn't offering Bon Jovi as philosophy. But let's be honest, Springsteen is a downer generally. Bon Jovi is not. But more than anything I was poking fun at Sean for suggesting Springsteen's music buoyed their spirits.

(Truth be told, if ANYONE took the time to show up, it would likely have buoyed Katrina victims' spirits.)

[KJW]

Rick,
You can’t slink away that easy.
You knock Springsteen for being a “downer” (whatever that means) and then say words to the effect of, “relax, I was joking, but he’s downer.” Which puts us back to square one.
Obviously taste in music is totally in the ears of the beholder. And there are totally “valid” (whatever that means) reasons to not like Springsteen. My list would be:
1) Something about his voice I don’t get. It irritates me.
2) Because my personal politics is X, whenever I hear him I can’t get past the fact that his politics is Y. I may even like the song but in the back of my mind I can’t listen to it
3) His fans just annoy me to no end and it effects how I hear the songs.
4) How can such a rich guy speak for the great unwashed (or the “authenticity” argument)

Those four can pretty much cover about 85% of all music criticism (Mr. Daly, you’re fired…)

#1 can apply to everybody.

If #2 is your bag, please apply the same standard to Bon Jovi who is actually more politically active than Springsteen. D’oh!

#3 Hey, Springsteen fans annoy me too. (As do most people)

#4 Remember it’s fiction. Made up stuff. If you play the authenticity card then nobody can write about fighting aliens, talking animals, monsters, Noah's Ark, etc. This is the equivalent of saying when the Three Stooges act like plumbers in a bit, “Hey Curly never went to plumbing school!” It’s fiction. It’s not fact. And if fiction somehow bothers you, I think you need to abide by Sgt Hulka’s wise words to Psycho, “It’s fiction, lighten up.”

[Marissa]

Wow! This is an awesome exhibition of reading too much between the lines. Let me get a cup of coffee and turn off Oprah. This is far more exciting.

[pjthebarbarian]

I don't give a damn about his politics. The Boss beats Bon Jovi every time. Badlands, Born to Run, and Thunder Road lift me right up out of my seat and compel me to sing along - Livin' on a Prayer reminds me of the rowdy jerks down the hall in my dorm days who played it at max volume 3 dozen times every day.

[Sheila]

There is no contest between Bon Jovi and Bruce. One is a Jersy boy entertainer, the other is an American hero, writer, and yes, when he's on that stage and he's dancing with his guitar,sexy devil. He also got a lot of us through the times after 9-1-01 with "The Rising", and we all stood up when he sang it, even here is lothargic Tampa bay.

[Indurikilfulk]

The good convenient site is made.